


Behind Closed Doors {Editing Soon}

by onedirectioninthetardis



Series: Doors [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, BoyxBoy, Chaptered, Coming Out, Coming Untouched, Flashbacks, Jealousy, Just a bit of everything in the bedroom, M/M, Porn With Plot, Rimming, Shameless Smut, True Love, larry - Freeform, larry stylinson - Freeform, lourry, stylinson
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-04
Updated: 2014-05-22
Packaged: 2017-12-31 13:11:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 52
Words: 98,992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1032084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onedirectioninthetardis/pseuds/onedirectioninthetardis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry and Louis have secretly been together for two years now. When they run into issues (which is often with management always on their asses), they think back on the highlights of their relationship to strengthen them when there seems to be no hope. Will these flashbacks be enough to get them through the remainder of their contract unscathed? How will people react when the secret is revealed?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

HARRY'S P.O.V.

 

"Hazz, please, just hear me out!"

I can't even look at him right now. I'm almost glad that we're about to go on stage; I can't take his pleas for mercy. I don't want to talk about it yet; I need to be mad for a little longer.

"Lou, just leave me alone for a little bit. I can't talk about this right now; We're about to go on."

I shoo him away and try to appear as if I am focused on preparing for the show. In reality, I can't get Louis out of my head. We've been through so much together and I knew that I was over-reacting a little bit but he really hurt me. He knows how much it upsets me to see those pictures when he isn't trying to be convincing, and now he broke our ONE rule. I know that I can't stay mad at him but I want him to see how much it hurts me to see things like that; to know that everyone else is seeing things like that. I bite my bottom lip to stop my emotions from overpowering me when we were minutes away from walking on stage. I already miss his touch; this will be the first show in a long while that I won't give him a kiss for good luck before. I feel like I'm hurting myself more than he is. He looks remorseful and deep down, I know that it meant nothing, but still... I'm the only one he can kiss like that.

 

_Flashback:_

_"Lou, why this movie? It's shit!"_

_"Whatever, Hazz. Shut up."_

_Louis slides the DVD carefully into the player and sits next to me on the couch, about six inches between our hips. I don't really hate Leo's Romeo & Juliet; I just can't admit that and sound like a man. I don't know why I care with Louis, though. He's the only person I can be myself around. We have a few days before our next performance on the X-Factor and it's nice to just relax. While I fast-forward through the commercials, Louis shifts in his spot, trying to get more comfortable. I jokingly place one of my arms on the back of the couch, right behind his shoulders and he cuddles in toward me. I surprise myself when my heart starts to race and my breathing hitches. What is that? Why do I get like this when Louis touches me? I have always pushed thoughts of having any romantic feelings for him out of my head; I'm not gay, alright? I think that I'm just beginning to miss any romantic contact since we've been on the show for a while now. That must be it. But, it doesn't happen with the other lads._

_"Hey, press play! I know you don't want to watch this movie but staring at me isn't going_   
_to get you out of it."_

_I shake my head, snapping myself from my thoughts, and press the play button._   
_My heartbeat begins to quicken again since he caught me looking at him. He cuddles into me again, his head mostly on my chest now and I feel my pants tighten. What terrible timing. I shifted my legs and pulled at my jeans to distract from the bulge. I reach to the empty side of the couch and pull a blanket toward us, slipping it over me and offering to share._

_"Are you cold, Hazz?"_

_I nod faintly, not really cold. Hot, actually, but I need to cover myself. His arm wrapped across my waist, trying to "warm" me even though I feel my body heat even more than before at his extended contact. I try to control my breathing while he hugs me tightly. He seems to notice that I'm uncomfortably shifting my weight around and looks at me, concern covering his face._

_"You alright?"_

_"Erm... yeah. I..I'm fine."_

_I force a grin on my face but he doesn't seem convinced. Instead, he pushes me to lay down on the couch and starts to tickle my abdomen, making me scream loudly._

_"Lou!!! Stoooo-" I can't stop laughing and even though it's uncontrollable, I do feel happy. Finally, I over-power him and he falls on top of my chest, trying to hold back his laughter as I hold his arms down so he can't continue._

_"OKAY! I'm done, I'm done." I release his hands but he doesn't move off of me. I feel his hands stroke my arms lightly, finding their way to my face. What's happening? Whatever it is, his hands feel phenomenal on me so softly. He stares down at me, not making a sound, and glances at my lips, quickly shifting his eyes back to mine. Is he thinking the same thing as me? I want to pull him toward me and just kiss him but I can't risk ruining our friendship. But, what if he feels the same way? I let my hands rest on his back and lightly pull him into me. At this point, there is no way that he has no attraction to me, we've been in this position too long. I decide to risk it all and lift my face to meet his, which is three inches away from mine to begin with. Before pressing my lips to his, I ensure that he doesn't back away at my movement. Instead, he parts his lips and pushes my face back down with his, passionately taking my bottom lip between his. I tighten my grip around his chest and embrace him. After a few seconds, he pulls his face away and I see his shocked face, which mirrors mine. Without saying another word, I grab a fistful of his hair and pull him into me again, kissing him more emotionally than before. He melts into it and I know that he has no objection._

 

Back to Present Day:

I hear loud cheers as we cross the stage and I smile widely, raising my hand to wave. Louis walks straight across and awkwardly fakes a smile to the audience. I walk toward him as Liam yells to the fans enthusiastically,

"HELLO NEW YORK!"

More cheers fill the arena and I walk behind Louis, standing directly behind him. I lean my face toward his ear and whisper as softly as I can, without being mute.

"I'll forgive you eventually, you know."

I rest the palm of my hand on the small of his back, which no one can see, and kiss the back of his neck ever so quickly. His eyes follow me as I run to the other side of the stage and I see a sparkle in his eye as he grins brightly.


	2. Chapter 2

LOUIS' P.O.V.

I just want Harry to realize how bad I feel about what I did. I don't want to admit it, but I sort of did it to hurt him. We had just had an argument about coming out. I can't wait but Harry's always worried about what other people think and that drives me crazy! Our tiff got pretty heated when he blew up in my face to give him time. We have been together for two years! How much time could he possibly still need? I want him to realize how much it hurts to see me with someone else, and I know how bad that sounds. I'm not worried about our fans' support. We already have a large amount of fans that even WANT us to be together. I know that some people will have an issue with it but we've tried to ease them into it as much as we can without breaking our contract and losing everything. A lot of people have picked up on the playful touching, extensive looks, and innuendo remarks in interviews. I know that some people hate on the idea, but what are we supposed to do? There's no way to make everyone happy, so can't we just make ourselves happy and hope it catches on? The show is finally over and I'm almost done with my shower on the bus. Harry was the first to take his and I plan on talking to him privately when I'm done. I dry myself off in the confined bathroom and pull on some boxers before leaving the steamy closet. Harry is sitting by himself on the couch in the back room with his face in his hands. I walk over and sit next to him, not putting my arm around him just yet.

"Hazz."

He looks at me and I can see the tears glazing over his eyes. I can't take this; I just want to make him feel better. Seeing him like this makes me instantly regret what I did. No matter how trivial it seems to me, if it hurts Harry this much, it should have never happened.

"Hey, come here." I pulled his head onto my shoulder, stroking his hair with one hand and rubbing his back with the other, "I'm so sorry, babe. I don't ever wish to see you so upset. I don't know why I did it! I was upset but I should never act out when I'm mad at you. I wish I could take it back."

He starts to let out soft sobs but hugs me back, finally letting me in a little.

"Lou, I just don't understand how you could do that! Our one rule: no making out and there you are with your tongue down her throat! I just don't know why you would act out like that."

"I know, I know. I'm a bloody idiot. I can't believe I did that myself. You know I don't have any feelings for Eleanor. Hell, she knows I don't! She actually yelled at me later in your behalf, you know."

He chuckles at that and I can tell that he's done crying. He takes a deep breath and starts to speak again.

"Look, I can get over this if you promise that it'll never happen again. I never want to see you really kiss her. Only pecks to make management happy."

"Of course, Hazz. I would take it back if I could."

"I know, Lou."

I pull him closer to me and we sit there in a comfortable embrace for a long while. I start to think back to when we decided to tell the rest of the lads about us.

 

_Flashback:_

_"Lou, I'm scared. I... What if they hate us?"_

_"That's impossible! They're our closest mates, they'll get over it."_

_"They're gonna be shocked."_

_"That's for sure."_

_I pull Harry into a hug, resting my chin on his shoulder, which was at the perfect height for that. I'm so happy to be with him. We have agreed to take things slowly but I know that it's going to progress quickly since we're always together. I'm already falling in love with him since we've already been such good friends for a long while. I lean up to kiss his neck tenderly, followed by his cheek, and finally his lips. It feels so right to be together like this. I have always felt something for him but I was always too afraid to seriously consider it. The night we first kissed was perfect, and ever since then, we are inseparable. Every moment that we are alone, we are in each others' arms and I wouldn't want it any other way. Except, perhaps, to not hide it in front of Niall, Liam, and Zayn. We have decided to tell them, but we don't want to make it a big announcement. We're going to all watch a movie tonight and we're just going to casually mention it and hope for the best. We stood there in our room kissing for about a minute more._

_"Come on, they're all out there. It's the perfect opportunity."_

_Harry has always worried too much about what people thought, but I want to change that. He's such an incredible person and he needs to see that. People will love him for whoever he chooses to be. Even my boyfriend. To start with, we need to tell the guys. I know that we can count on them; they only want us to be happy._

_"Hey, you guys ready? We're going to watch Jurassic Park."_

_"Lovely. Look, Harry and I wanna tell you guys something first. Just don't freak out, okay?"_

_"Erm, of course. What's up?" Liam looks concerned, probably thinking that something bad has happened when it's actually the complete opposite._

_Harry surprises me by grabbing my hand, intertwining our fingers together and speaking before I even have the chance._

_"We're dating."_

_The three boys in front of us look like statues, eyes open, jaws dropped. Zayn responds first, his face contorting in a confused sort of way._

_"This is a joke, right?"_

_He doesn't look disgusted or anything and I suppose it's a valid question so instead of answering with words, I turn my body to face Harry and place my hands on either of his cheeks, kissing him softly and passionately._

_"Not a joke, Zayn." It was Niall's turn to react._

_We turn back to the group and they still look shocked. We didn't expect any less._   
_"Well, congrats guys. Is this why you two have been so happy the past few weeks?"_

_I feel my face turn beet red and simply nod my head._

_"So, you're not weirded out, then?"_

_Harry was still worried about what they thought._

_"Of course not, Harry! We just want you to be happy! It's not the most shocking thing ever, but, well, to have you tell us is a little surprising."_

_Liam is always good at comforting Harry, who let out a sigh of relief, turning his gaze to Niall next._

_"What Liam said. I'm all for it. I totally, what's it called? Ship it! I ship you guys."_

_Niall is always proud of himself when he understands internet lingo._

_"Zayn?"_

_"I'm thrilled! But, now you guys' disagreements are going to be ten times worse," of course Zayn has to add some negativity, "but, I guess there's always make-up sex."_

_He winks awkwardly and continues to fumble with the movie._

_Harry and I still haven't talked about sex. I'm okay with that for the time being. We have plenty of time and its going to be different. I don't think either of us has ever slept with a guy so at least we can experience it together. Besides, we're still young and we're in the same bloody band. We're always together. I want to enjoy every step of our relationship at the proper time. Rushing things can only hurt._

 

Present Day:

Zayn enters the back room to grab something from his bag, interrupting our complacent silence.

"Thank god you guys made up. I was going to be fucking pissed if you guys ruined our end-of-tour celebration tomorrow."

He runs his hand playfully through my hair, ruffling the still damp patch in the front, before walking out.

"Hey, Hazz. You ready for bed?"

"Yeah."

He sluggishly stands up and waits for me to follow suit.

"I love you, you know."

"I love you, Lou."

He leans down slightly and kisses my forehead softly. He grabs my hand and pulls me to the bunk we have been sharing for the past few months. It's small but it's better than sleeping separately. Harry climbs in first after stripping to his boxers and I climb in after him, laying down with my chest facing him. He places an arm around my waist and pulls me closer so that I can feel his bulge against mine. We hardly have had any time to be intimate for the past 8 months. Not like we did at home. Fucking tour bus. I think it might literally kill me. I kiss him once more and nuzzle my head against his neck, falling asleep easily with the rhythm of his breathing.


	3. Chapter 3

HARRY'S P.O.V.

When I wake up, Louis is in the same spot as he was when I fell asleep, in the crook of my neck. His hair tickles my chin as I breathe out through my nose. He normally moves around much more but in this tiny bunk, there's really not room for that and I enjoy waking up with him so close to me. When he stays at my flat, my king-sized bed leaves way too much room for movement. It's still better than never having private time together. I miss that more than anything. Not only for sex, even though that is a big part of it, but just for hours of silent spooning or deep conversations. Niall, Zayn, and Liam make that difficult for us. They have to make everything a joke and we never have time to talk. Last night was a perfect example. At least we are okay now; I can't stand to be mad at Louis any longer and he seemed genuinely apologetic about what happened. I feel bad getting angry because I know that Eleanor would never let anything happen but I know for a fact that he has at some point been attracted to her. He isn't drawn to too many girls but there are a few women that I would be jealous of if they were alone. Eleanor isn't really one of them because I know that she cares about me too much, but it still hurts to see pictures of them all the time. The rest of the guys are still fast asleep and I very badly want Louis to wake up. I feel awful doing it but I want to spend time with him so I start combing my fingers through his messy hair, lightly massaging his scalp. As he starts to stir, I kiss his forehead softly. He makes small noises, grunts and such, which I love. He's so cute in the mornings.

"Morning, boo."

"Hi, Hazz. What time is it?"

"I'm not sure. Every one else is still sleeping but I woke up about ten minutes ago and I just wanted to spend some time with you."

He doesn't say anything but nuzzles into me even more, tightening his arm around me. I guess I'm going to have to make him up a little.

"Alright, you asked for it," I whisper into his ear huskily.

I grazed the fingers of my free hand down his side, feeling goose bumps form under my touch. He still doesn't move and I know he's just wanting me to continue, which I'm not going to resist. I continue until I reach the band of his boxers, slipping my fingers inside, earning me some movement as he brings his lips to my neck, barely touching my skin. My entire hand enters the fabric of his tight briefs and I quickly find his morning wood, grasping it firmly. I start to slowly move my hand to his tip, toward me, and back down his entire length. At this point, he is sucking on the skin at my jaw line, his breathing heavier than before.

"Oh, Harry, please, faster."

"You're going to have to quiet, though, okay?"

I simply feel him nod into my shoulder and I speed up the motion of my hand, feeling him begin to buck his hips toward me, turning me on instantly. I feel my body start to move along with the rhythm as he lets out a soft moan into my ear.

"Shhhh... no noise, love."

He whimpers, quieter this time and I know that he'll need assistance in being quiet. I reposition myself so that he is no longer laying on my other arm. Once I pull it out and shake the numbness away, I use that hand to cover his mouth. He raises his eyebrow to me and I continue to stroke him, quicker and at a steady pace. Feeling his hot breath on my hand makes me want him so bad but I know that it just isn't an option right now. There's no way we would be quiet enough. The other lads were alright with our relationship but no one has sex on the bus when every one else is sleeping; that's not okay no matter who you are. We just can't let them hear us. I feel Louis pant harder as I continue my fast, hard pumps.

"Are you close?"

His eyes shut tight and he nods frantically. Without any delay, I keep my hand over his mouth and lower my head under the sheets, pulling his boxers down more so that I can access him with my mouth. As soon as I wrap my lips around him, I hear groans from deep in his throat and I take him in deeper, sucking as I return to his tip. I can tell that he is on the verge of exploding so I take him in once more, sucking hard, feeling him release into my mouth, down my throat. After I ensure that it has all gone down my throat, I remove my hand from his mouth, replacing it with my lips as I return from under the sheets. He is still out of breath but kisses me with so much passion that I can't even remember why I was so mad the day before. He obviously loves me. As he regains himself, I push my body against his, bringing my desire to his attention.

"Oh, I haven't forgotten about you."

He rolls on top of me, his hands on either side of my head, grinding his hips into mine playfully, although it isn't playful for me. I try to suppress a moan but it escapes into his mouth. He notices my impatience and lowers himself below the covers. He instantly rips off my boxers, leaving them somewhere in the bed. As soon as he touches me, I grip the sheets with one hand, placing the other between my teeth to keep me from screaming. My teeth gnash at my skin but the pain is quite alright when accompanied by such intense pleasure as he licks me from my balls all the way up my length. Once he reaches my tip, he takes me into his mouth, quickly going down as far as he can without gagging. I have to admit that the sound of him gagging on my dick is a bit of a turn-on but it might be more than I can silently handle right now.

"Lou, I'm almost fin- fuck."

He takes me in deeper than before, almost completely. I feel my body begin to shake as I start to unravel. I bite down on my hand once again and growl harshly, not wanting to hold back my ecstasy like this. Only one more day of this tour. I reach my high which seems to last forever and come in his mouth, making him moan lightly in delight. When he returns to my side, I pull him near me, thanking him for such an amazing release with smooches all over his face.

"I love you, Harry."

"I love you more."

I kiss him once more on the nose and cuddle into him, feeling his warm chest against mine. Within minutes, we fall asleep again, much more relaxed than before and happier than ever.


	4. Chapter 4

LOUIS' P.O.V.

The first time waking up was much more enjoyable than this time. I jump out of my sleep due to Niall singing about food. Literally singing. About food. Well it's more of a chant really. I think he's saying Cracker Barrel. I look down at Harry who is still fast asleep, his face looking so relaxed. I softly kiss his forehead before carefully climbing over him, pulling my boxers up all the way before I do.

"Niall, can you shut it?"

I swat the back of his head an he finally stops yelling.

"Jesus, someone's grumpy. Did you wake up on the wrong side of the tiny bunk you're sharing."

"Shut up. I actually feel wonderful! I just don't want you to wake Harry up. We were up early this morning."

"I don't want to know. Do you want to eat as much as I do?"

"No one ever does. Cracker Barrel by any chance? Is that what you were saying?"

"CRACKER BARREL, CRACKER BARREL, CR- Oww!"

"I told you to knock it off."

Liam walks out of the restroom with a toothbrush hanging out of his mouth.

"Niall! Paul said we'd go. Just shut up about it already!"

His voice is a bit muffled due to the toothbrush and all but Niall gets the point and sits down on the couch.

Zayn and Harry are always the last to get out of bed but today, it doesn't really matter. We're finishing the tour and heading home and I couldn't be happier. I can't wait to be in my own bed, or Harry's bed, which I end up sleeping in more. Just an actual bed will be nice. I'll get to see my family and Harry's family. I don't have another scheduled date with Eleanor for about a week so it'll be nice to just spend some time relaxing and sleeping. Lots of sleeping. I sit down next to Niall and stare out the window, thinking about the first time Harry and I tried to be intimate.

 

_Flashback:_

_"Harry, we don't have to try this tonight. We have no reason to rush."_

_"Lou, stop. I want to do this. I want to really be with you in that way."_

_"Okay! You're not afraid it'll hurt?"_

_"Yeah, I know it's gonna hurt! We might as well get the painful part over with."_

_"You're right. I know."_

_I'm really nervous about having sex with Harry. We've been together for six months so I know we're not rushing into it; it's just a big deal. We've both had sex with girls before, but that was different. This means something. So far, we've only messed around; foreplay and stuff. We're both ready, but it's just like losing my virginity all over again, only this time I will never regret it. We are laying on my bed in my London flat, already stripped down to our briefs. It feels so good to hold him close under my warm sheets. It's about eleven in the evening and the lights shining through the windows over-looking the city are splendid. As I look out the window, I feel Harry nipping at my shoulder with his teeth, his lips brushing over my skin each time does. I turn my head to face him again and instantly the desire in his eyes. I can't resist that look; it's impossible. Just the fact alone that Harry wants to be with me, not with anyone else, only me, turns me on in itself. He throws one leg over my hip and straddles me, pulling the sheets back over us as he leans over to kiss me. I feel how hard he is against my low abdomen, right along my sex lines, and crave his touch even more. I wrap my arms around him to pull his chest closer to mine. I hear his breath hitch as our bodies collide together as I roll him over onto his back, pressing my body down on his so he can't move. I place kisses along his jaw line, toward his ear, which I nibble on before reaching his neck. I run my tongue along his neck, finding the spot that makes him quiver the most. Once I find it, I begin to suck, pulling his skin into my mouth, rolling my tongue across it as I do. He moans and I don't stop him. It's so nice to be in a private place, where no one can interrupt us._

_"Lou, please. I really want to do this now. You go first, I'm ready."_

_I'm really scared of hurting him but he was right, it's going to happen some time. I nod to him and roll to his his side, reaching over to my bed side table for the lubricant. I hand it to Harry start to tug on his boxers. I pull them down and off of his legs, tossing them aside carelessly before pulling mine off as well. I want to help him to relax even more, so I reach down and feel around for his member, keeping eye contact the entire time. He's laying there, breathing steadily, and honestly looking impatient. Am I wrong for wanting to make this pleasurable for the both of us? He pulls me up so that we are at the same level and he pours some of the lube into the palm of his hand, staring into my eyes deeply as he reaches down, lathering my cock with the slimy liquid. When he's done, he meets his lips with mine, which are already parted from my inconsistent breath due to his touch. He kisses me lustfully, but romantically, before he turns so that he is no longer facing me. He lays on his side, wiping his lubricated hand on the sheets and holds onto a nearby pillow. I don't want him to feel like he needs to brace himself. He's not relaxed enough._

_"Shhh. Harry, just calm down. We're going to do this at a comfortable pace."_

_"Louis, I'm ready!"_

_I ignore him and wrap my arms around his waist, pulling him close to me, as I run my lips along his back, up to his neck. I take in his scent, trying to remember every second of this night. He smells sweet and musky at the same time, the perfect mixture before feminine and masculine. I feel his chest rise and fall, his breath picking up some speed from my tender touch. I push his hair away from his neck and lift my head toward his ear to whisper to him._

_"I love you so much, Harry. There's no one else in the world I'd rather be with right now. Only you."_

_"I love you, Lou. So much. I've never been happier."_

_I ran my hands down his side, starting under his arm and ending on his hip. I glide my palm down his arse, feeling him flinch a little._

_"Don't worry, if it's too much, I'll stop. Promise."_

_He nods his head, awaiting my entrance but instead, I continue to feel him. I finally tap lightly on the thigh that is on top and he moves it forward so that he is easier to access and is in a comfortable position. I hold my throbbing length in one hand, hugging him with my other as I guide myself toward his entrance. I squeeze him a little tighter as I brush my tip against him, making him shudder in delight. I continue to playfully roll my tip around in circles at his rectum and I can feel him finally relaxing more. Each time I finish a circle, I push myself against him a little more until my tip is actually inside him. He hasn't made any remarks of pain so I slowly move in deeper, gaining a deep intake of breath every couple seconds but nothing I can be worried about. I'm now about half way in and he hasn't cried out in pain. It feels incredible to be so close to him, to move with him in this way. I feel tears building in my eyes and wonder if I ever expected to be this happy. I had never known it was possible. Anything past the half way mark is making Harry cringe so I continue to move out and back into that depth, only going slightly past each time. He feels tighter with each light thrust and I feel myself getting close._

_"Ahhhh, Lou. It... It hurts."_

_"Do you want me stop? I will. Is it too much?"_

_"I..Owww."_

_I can tell that we have gone far enough for one night; I can never live with myself if I really hurt him no matter how much pleasure it's giving me. I pull out slowly and turn him to face me. Tears have been streaming down his face and I instantly begin to cry._

_"Harry, I'm so sorry. You did so good for me, baby. I don't want to hurt you like that."_

_"Louis, that was the best thing I've ever felt. It hurt, but in a good way. Next time, I'll be able to withstand it, I promise."_

_He is holding my face in both of his hands, no longer crying, only smiling._

_"How about next time you try giving it to me."_

_"Well, you know I can't turn down your sexy ass."_

_"Come on, let's go take a shower."_

_I wink at him and we both stand up, walking slowly to the bathroom._

_"Yeah, it's a little hard to walk."_

_We both laugh and I can't help but to think about how amazing he felt around me. I can't wait to try that again. Once we're used to it, we can try all sorts of things._

 

Present Day:

"Morning, guys."

Harry walks over and sits on my lap instead of the couch space next to me, curling into a ball and laying his head on my chest, yawning over and over. He's so adorable when he wakes up; or just when he's sleepy in general. I put my head down and whisper as quietly as I can.

"This morning was fun, but I can't wait to get you home."

He let our a hoarse chuckle, smiling shyly into my neck.

"Oh, you have no idea, boo."


	5. Chapter 5

HARRY'S P.O.V.

Today went by quickly and I couldn't be happier about it. We would be heading home tomorrow morning and I really miss everything about home. I miss my family, my bed, Louis' bed, my usual restaurants, my other friends, and just having a more normal schedule. After the show, we all head back to a local resort near the airport and find our suites. We always reserve two, one which Niall, Zayn, and Liam gladly share giving Louis and I space, which we are always grateful for. We already agreed to celebrate the end of the tour with everyone but we still need to take a shower and I think we can get away with taking a long one. Once we bring our bags upstairs, Louis and I slip into our room, immediately finding each other in the dark. We haven't been able to get more than a quick peck in since yesterday morning and I have been craving his touch ever since then. He roughly slams me into the wall and grinds his body into me, pinning my arms to my sides. Not being able to pull him into me more drives my senses mad while he lowers his head to my neck, nipping along the veins that are beginning to show. His breath on me tickled and sent chills down my spine. I used all of my strength to push him off of me and toward the bed, flinging him on top of it, onto his back.

"Don't even think about moving."

I point at him in the dark, which I know he can see because my eyes are adjusting. I reach into the side pocket of my bag and pull out a tube of lubricant before walking back over to where I left Louis. I sit the lube down on the bed and crawl on top of him, straddling his hips. When he tries to bring his hands to my hair, I catch them mid air and hold them with one hand above his head.

"No touching, baby. Just let me make you feel good."

He bites down on his bottom lip and squirms underneath me. I know he likes it when I dominate like this and it's a big turn on to see him vulnerable. When I let go of his hands, he grips them onto the headboard post, letting me do as I please. I begin by ripping his shirt open, breaking all of the buttons at once, and running my tongue down his chest, all the way to his belt. I take off his belt and unbutton his pants within seconds, pulling them down and off of his ankles. When I return to do the same to his boxers, he groans in delight, making me want him even more. I use my teeth to grasp the elastic on his briefs, growling as I pull them down. As I do, his already hard member flies up to hit his stomach and I know I won't have patience for foreplay.

"Lou, I want you now. Are you ready?"

He nods his head, just as impatiently as I feel, and I stand up one more time. I pull my pants and boxers down in one motion, flinging them onto the ground. I pull my shirt over my head and join it with the rest of my outfit. When I climb back onto the bed, I roll Louis onto his side, facing away from me, so that I can easily access him. I wrap my arm around his chest and he snakes his arm to wrap it around my neck, pulling my head in so he can turn his to kiss me. While he does, I reach for the small tube and pour some of the liquid into my hand, rubbing it onto my cock and then wiping my hand on the sheets. Continuing to press my lips into his, pushing my tongue into his mouth, I guide myself to his entrance and he automatically puts one leg forward to make it easier. I slowly push myself into him, only making it about halfway in the first thrust but pushing all the way in by the third. He breathes roughly into my mouth as I begin to pull out and thrust back in. He feels tighter than before since we haven't actually had sex in weeks and it feels amazing, almost like the first time. He re-adjusts to my size quickly and we pick up a pace that is extremely satisfying for us both. His head returns to face away from me but I pull his hair with one hand to make him turn toward me again so I can see his face and continue to tenderly kiss him. My other hand finds his length and cups him so that he pushes into my hand with every thrust. At this, his body shakes a bit, making me feel his ripples of pleasure through my own body. I nibble on his ear and pick up speed a little, wanting to feel my release.

"Oh, Harry, harder!"

I begin to pull out slowly and thrust into him sharply, gaining moans of delight from his mouth that push me closer to my climax.

"Shit, Louis. I'm almost there."

"Me, too."

He can't muster any other words but I don't need any. His moans are more than enough to turn me on and I feel myself hitting my high.

"Fuck, I'm coming, babe."

I let out a loud groan from deep in my throat as I sloppily sink into him a couple more times as I ride out my intense orgasm and he begins his, bucking into my hand more fiercely. I pull away and flip him onto his back to finish him up. I sit on my knees between his legs and quickly take him into my mouth, sucking powerfully as his eyes roll back in his head in pleasure.

"I'm coming, Harryyy-ahhh!"

My eyes grin as he screams my name, releasing into my mouth, which I swallow down easily, licking him clean. As we both continue to come down from our moment of extreme ecstasy, we lay face to face, holding each other close, leaving soft kisses in between short, shallow breaths.

"I forgot what I've been missing. That was incredible, Lou."

I can feel his smile against my jaw, which he kisses gently before speaking.

"It really was. I can't wait until we're home. You're not leaving my bed for days."

"Mmmm. I like the sound of that, but right now, we should probably shower and join every one else."

"Yeah, I guess we did promise."

We reluctantly leave the bed and shower quickly so that our absence isn't as noticeable. When we finally knock on the door to the other suite, a very drunk Zayn opens it for us.

"LARRY IS HERE, GUYS!"

He laughs at his own joke and leads us into the kitchen. Niall and Liam are sitting on bar-stools with about ten empty shot glasses in front of them.

"I'll get you two some tequila. Sit down!"

Louis and I take a seat on bar-stools as well and Niall lives up to his word, pouring three shots for us each. Louis smiles at me and we clink our glasses together before throwing each of them back, one right after the other, Niall filling them up again as we set them down.

"Here's to the end of another tour and the precious time that we have before the next one!"

I raise a shot in the air and everyone else grabs one and joins in my toast. When that one sinks in, the room starts to spin and I decide to take a break, resting my head on Louis' shoulder.

"Harry, let's go on the balcony."

Louis begs me until I finally agree and we walk out the door to the large balcony. The breeze is warm and I breathe it in deeply. We walk to the edge and look over the side. We're not extremely high up; probably on the tenth floor or so. Louis grabs my hand and turns me to face him, lacing his hands behind my neck, kissing me tenderly. It feels so romantic to be with Louis this way, so comfortable and real. I wish we didn't have to hide our relationship.

"I love you so much, Harry."

"I love you, Lou. I'm so happy to be with you."

I leaned down to kiss him again, more passionately this time, pressing my body into his and slipping my tongue between his lips. Out of the corner of my eye, I see a bright light. Was that lightning? Louis answers my thoughts and his eyes open wide.

"Shit! Paparazzi."


	6. Chapter 6

LOUIS' P.O.V.

"Bloody paps totally got pictures of Harry and I and I don't know what to do. Management is going to flip shit and who know what they'll make us do."

The other lads are in shock and tears start to sting my eyes as I think about the first time management got involved in our relationship.

_Flashback:_

_"Look, you guys look way too close and it's beginning to make the fans think you're a couple so cut it out."_

_My head shoots up to look at Jason, our manager at Modest. I looked to Harry, who's eyes are just as stunned open as mine._

_"They're just joking, Jason."_

_"No, Harry, they aren't. All we're asking is that you stop touching each other all the time; it does come off a bit... gay!"_

_"So what if it does? What's wrong with people who are gay, Jason?"_

_"Louis, you guys are under this contract and we're going to do it our way. Just get girlfriends or something and it should all blow over."_

_He continues to just look at the papers in front of him, not realizing what he's telling us. He has no idea that our fans are 100% right. We are gay an we are together. I want to say it so badly but I don't want them to know; they'll ruin things even more._

_"I don't know any girls that I want to date, though. Can't we just try to keep our hands to ourselves?"_

_I can't stand the thought of Harry with someone else, even if it was just for publicity._

_"I don't care. Find someone or we will. At least one of you, for god's sake. Just something!"_

_I want to start crying but I know that won't help my case so I nod and turn to Harry, who's eyes are glazed over._

_"Can we go now, then?"_

_"Yeah, just know that if this get's any worse, we will take action."_

_We nod and turn away, walking to the elevator and make our way outside before we talk about what just happened. We get into my car and just sit there with the doors locked._

_"Lou, what the hell are we supposed to do? I don't want to have a fake girlfriend. Hell, I don't want to stop touching you in public."_

_"It's so ridiculous! Most of the time, we ARE joking, which you can tell by our stupid grins. I just can't control myself around you sometimes."_

_"But, our fans just see love."_

_"I hope they at least continue to see us for who we are. Where the hell are we going to find girlfriends?"_

_"Well, I was actually thinking... I knew this girl back when I was still in Holmes Chapel. Eleanor. She called me a couple days ago and said she was moving here. I don't know, we could talk to her. She's really nice and we can make it look like I set you guys up, like mates do all the time!"_

_"You're alright with that? I know I couldn't stand seeing pictures of you with a girl but since you know her, I guess it could be easier."_

_Harry pulls out his phone and finds her number, immediately pressing send._

_"Hey, El. Are you busy for lunch?... Okay, great.... Yeah, me and Louis... Yeah, we'll see you there."_

_He ends the call and looks back at me._

_"It's totally going to work, Lou. We're going to meet her at noon at 'The Square'."_

_He shoots me a smile and I can tell that he's confident about this as we pull away from Modest._

_"I really hope you're right, Hazz."_

_After going back to my flat and changing into something nicer, we get back in my car and head over to meet Eleanor._

_"So, let me start talking about it and we'll just see how she reacts. I think it'll be fine."_

_When we give Valet the car, we walk into the restaurant, refraining from touching each other._

_"Harry! So good to see you!"_

_A brunette walks over and drapes her arms around Harry's neck, hugging him excitedly._

_"You, too El! This is Louis, by the way."_

_"Pleased to meet you, Eleanor."_

_I extend my hand but she hugs me as well, only less excitedly._

_"Okay, they said a table would be ready as soon as you guys got here."_

_She walks over to the hostess and informs her that we're ready to sit down. We are guided back to a table that is in a secluded room, next to the kitchen. When we sit down, I point for Harry to sit next to Eleanor and me across from him so that we could be off to a good start at appearing straight._

_"So, Eleanor, what's new with you?"_

_Harry looks at her, waiting for a response, and she starts to talk a mile a minute about school and work, family and old mutual friends. After our food arrives, she finally stops talking._

_"Eleanor, I... we need to ask you something."_

_"Of course, Harry, what's up?"_

_He looks at me and back to Eleanor who is patiently waiting for him to speak._

_"Well, long story short. Management is forcing at least one of us to have a girlfriend. But, we... we're,"_

_Eleanor chimes in._

_"a couple, right?"_

_"Erm... Yeah, how did you know?"_

_"Well, it's all over the place and I've seen pictures and knowing Harry, I could spot it immediately."_

_She doesn't even stop eating. She just looks to us for the next part of the conversation._

_"Well, we were kind of hoping that you could pretend to be Louis' girlfriend for a little bit. Just until this whole thing blows over."_

_"Sure."_

_She still hasn't stopped eating. Harry looks at me in disbelief and I mirror his expression._

_"Really? Eleanor, this would mean the world to us. I don't want to see Louis with some woman I don't know and I know you! Plus, it would be believable that I set up my best mate with an old friend."_

_"Yeah, why not! I'll help you guys. I need friends here anyway, so it'll be nice."_

_Right then, I gain such an amazing respect that woman._

Present Day:

"Looks like we're going to need to call Eleanor in."

Harry looks at me and I nod in agreement, pulling out my phone to call her.

"Hey, El. Erm, we have an emergency."

"What? Who's hurt?"

"No, no. Pretty sure Paparazzi got a picture of me and Harry... kissing."

"Oh, god. Um... What should I do? Don't you guys get back tomorrow?"

"Yeah, think you could like meet us at the airport to welcome me home or something?"

"Absolutely, text me your flight info and I'll be there with my best horny girlfriend smile."

"You're the best, El."

"No problem. How's Harry? Is he really upset?"

"We haven't really had the chance to talk about it too much but we're both stressed. Modest is going to kill us."

She sighs deeply into the phone.

"We'll figure it out, Lou. I'll see you tomorrow, have a good flight. Kisses to all."

"Thanks, see you tomorrow, love."

I put my phone back in my pocket and Harry grabs my hand firmly. Niall places a hand on my shoulder.

"It'll be alright, with Eleanor's help, it'll all work out."

"I hope you're right, Niall. Thanks."

That's one way to ruin a celebratory buzz.


	7. Chapter 7

**HARRY'S P.O.V.**

 

Arriving at the airport, Louis takes my hand in his, kissing the back of it softly. We won't be able to speak to each other until we arrive at Heathrow after last night. Management has already called, yelling furiously through the phone. They sent a detailed email of instructions, forbidding us from touching, speaking or looking at each other at the airport. I know that the airport will be flooded with paparazzi but I could never expect what we see when we pull up.

 

"I love you, Lou. See you on the other side."

 

He nods back at me, not in an aggravated way, just shocked at what is in front of us. A mob. Fans and paparazzi alike crowd the airport doors, forcing security to push people out of the way so that it's even possible for us to walk through. Liam stepped out first, followed by me, then Zayn and Niall and lastly, Louis.

 

"Harry, is it true that you and Louis came out?"

 

"Louis! Are you two fighting now?"

 

"LARRY FOREVER!!!!!"

 

We stay close and quickly pace to the doors, entering to more people being shoved aside by security. Once we enter a private security check, things finally calm down. I can't wait to get home and lock ourselves in my flat for a week. My favorite part of negative publicity like this is the hiding process. The worst part was the 'social with new, random girls' phase that directly follows. It's the same every time. We disappear for a week. We reappear, seeming to forget the other's existence, while I'm set up with models, painted as a womanizer, and Louis spends every waking moment with Eleanor. After about three weeks of that, things calm down a bit. I have a feeling that this process is going to be a lot longer. It's been a long time since something this monumental has happened and Modest wasn't going to take it with a grain of salt. I honestly don't know what is going to happen. We finally get on the plane and take our sits; I'm glad I'm sitting with Liam if it can't be Louis.

 

"Liam, this is such a fucking mess. What's going to happen?"

 

"Probably the same as usual.... times 10."

 

"That's what I'm afraid of. Why can't they just let us come out. Did you see one person outside the airport putting down the idea? No, nobody. Sure, we would have some non-supporters but most of our fans would be supportive if it came straight from us!"

 

"I know, Harry. I don't get it either. The amount of time you guys have been fighting them on this, you would think they would just give in already. Louis is so stubborn, too; It really surprises me that they haven't budged."

 

I sigh and look past Liam and Louis. He is blankly staring out the window, probably angrily wishing I was next to him, Niall already talking his ear off. As we sit on the plane, awaiting information on take-off, I pull my phone out of my pocket with one email and one new message.

 

 

From: Modest!

To: Harry Styles; Louis Tomlinson; Zayn Malik; Liam Payne; Niall Horan; Eleanor Calder; Simon Cowell

CC: Jason Parrish

Subject: Mandatory emergency meeting

 

Dear recipients,

 

This email is to inform you of a mandatory meeting to discuss the events of last night. As soon as you land, you will be taken to our offices to discuss a plan to fix everything that has gone on. This will be a group effort so you all need to be there. Eleanor will meet you guys there instead of the pre-arranged airport meeting. A car will get you from your house, Ms. Calder. There will be absolutely NO posting on social network sites until after your meeting with Mr. Parrish and a committee of his peers. Action will be taken immediately, so prepare for sudden changes in schedules. We look forward to seeing you!

 

Karen Marsh

Executive Assistant of Jason Parrish

Modest! Management

 

 

"Fuck."

 

"What?"

 

"Check your email, guys," I say a little louder so that they can all hear.

 

Within moments, I hear moans and sighs from all of the guys.

 

"Fucking assholes," Louis exclaims, dropping his phone onto his lap and resting his face in his hands. I want to hold him so badly but I'm restrained on the other side of the plane.

 

The message on my phone is from my mum, just telling me to have a safe flight and that she hopes this will all blow over soon. I create a new message to Louis.

 

 

*We're going to make it through this. I promise, as soon as we leave that office, we will take a bath and watch movies all night. Just try to contain yourself at the meeting. I love you.*

 

 

I hear his phone beep, notifying him of a message and watch his face as he opens it. He glances at me, finally smiling for the first time today before typing back. When my phone vibrates, I open the message quickly.

 

 

*I know. They just make me so angry. Why should they be able to tell us who to love? But, I will behave... only so you'll fulfill that promise. I love you more.*

 

 

I look up and he's still looking at me, waiting for my reaction. I wink at him and blow him a small kiss.

 

"Okay, passengers, welcome aboard flight 1567 with direct service to Heathrow airport. We will be taking off in about ten minutes so please give Amber your undivided attention as she reviews safety procedures. Thank you for flying British Airways, enjoy your flight."

 

When the nasally voice is no longer over the speakers, I buckle my seat belt and pull out a crossword puzzle that I bought at an airport before a previous flight. I try so hard to pay attention, but my mind is filled with our upcoming meeting. What the hell are they going to do this time?

__________________________________________

 

When we reach the car, even more paparazzi are gathered, trying to get some information from us. We all walk, completely focused on getting into the awaiting car. Finally getting inside, the driver silently pulls away, heading downtown. I lay my head on Louis' shoulder, so glad to be next to him once again. He puts one arm around me, running his fingers through my curls, kissing my forehead.

 

When we pull up to the offices, I pull myself off of Louis, ready to push through even more crowds separately. Once we make it inside, Eleanor is waiting anxiously, standing up from the lounge chair when we arrive, immediately embracing Louis, followed by me and the rest of the guys.

 

"Mr. Parrish will see you now."

 

Karen points toward the elevator, irritably, and we reluctantly follow her direction. Walking into Jason's conference room, I notice 5 men sitting on one side of the table, Simon on the end of it, leaving room for us all on the other side.

 

"Please, have a seat."

 

Jason motions for us to sit on the empty side of the table, Louis and I sitting close to him, Eleanor next to Louis, and Zayn, Niall and Liam on the other side of her. This was obviously about Louis and I so we were meant to sit front and center.

 

"We all know what this is about, but to review, Harry and Louis here decided it would be a good idea to lock lips for the entire world to see, isn't that right boys?"

 

Simon was shaking his head, obviously irritated by Jason's rude tone.

 

"I wouldn't say we thought it was a good idea. We just weren't thinking properly."

 

I know that Louis' respectful streak won't last, but for now, he is behaving as promised.

 

"Well, look at where that moment of stupidity has put us. Now, I am required to take serious action and you aren't going to be happy about it, but that's kind of the point."

 

What is he going to do? I don't know what he CAN do that will be worse than the usual plan.

 

"Louis. Eleanor. Congratulations, the two of you have won an all-expenses paid romantic trip to the South of France. For a month."

 

I thought too soon. He slaps his hands down on the table, obviously pleased with himself.

 

"A MONTH! A FUCKING MONTH?"

 

Maybe it won't be Louis who explodes this time. I'm surprised by my reaction.

 

"Yes, Harry. A 'fucking month'. Any questions? You guys have a plane to catch tonight, so you should probably start packi-."

 

"Jason, isn't this a little extreme?" Eleanor doesn't seem to happy either and why should she?

 

"Sorry, it's necessary. Maybe these two will think with the right head next time and it won't be."

 

"What do we have to do with this?"

 

"Glad you asked, Zayn. You will all being signing new contracts to not share any of this information with anyone. You will also be keeping an eye on Harry. Harry," he turns to me, a sparkle in his eye, "you will be going out, making appearances, agreeing to interviews. You will be right in the spotlight, acting as if nothing is wrong. Nothing at all. In fact, we want you to be excited about all of the new people you are meeting. Speaking of which, tonight you will be having a 'secret' meeting with Cara. Show up to her flat at 11; she will be expecting you."

 

"You're enjoying this, you prick." I guess Louis feels no need to restrain himself when tonight obviously isn't happening. "Fuck you, Jason."

 

 

I can see the veins popping out of his neck and place my hand on his thigh to calm him down a little, despite the fact that even I want to punch Jason.

 

"Thank you, Louis. Alright, well these fine men have some papers for you all to sign and then you can be off. I need to go plan some interviews for our dear Harry. Au revoir, guys."

 

He walks out cockily, not turning once to see our reactions. I'm at a loss for words, standing there in complete shock. Louis will be gone for a month. In a different country. While I have to act happy as I've ever been, pretending to sleep with woman after woman. Louis and I sign our contracts first and I can't control the tears pouring down my face. Simon walks over after signing his sheet and pulls me into a hug.

 

"I'm so sorry. Please, let me know if you think of anything I can do."

 

I nod and pull away, only wanting to hold Louis. I pull him closer to me and he rests his head on my shoulder.

 

"Harry, I don't wa-" I shut him up with a deep, passionate kiss. Words will never make this okay. _There is simply nothing that will._


	8. Chapter 8

**LOUIS' P.O.V.**

"I know, El. I just hate to think what he's really doing. He tells me he's okay, but I know he isn't. At least I was exiled to France with one of my best friends. He's been stuck in London, pretending to have fun with all these models that he can't stand."

 

"I know, Lou. But, you guys talk every night and we only have two weeks left here. I think we've taken enough pictures to make management happy for the rest of our lives."

 

"HA! As long as Harry and I are gay, there could never be enough."

 

We laugh and I take a sip of my pina colada.

 

"El, do you know how much of a life saver you've been for us?"

 

"Yes, Louis, I do. And it was worth it, even before Modest started to pay me."

 

I gave her a knowing look and she corrected herself.

 

"Okay, the money is nice, since I can't really have a steady real boyfriend and all, but I got 5 best friends out of the deal, 7 if you count Perrie and Gemma."

 

I still can't believe everything Eleanor did for us before management found out that all of the rumors were true.

 

**_Flashback:_ **

_"Harry," the sound of my alarm stirs me but I don't feel awake at all. I force my eyes open and look at the clock. 7:21._

 

_"FUCK, Harry. Get up, now! We woke up late."_

 

_Harry jumps up in bed but looks around the room sleepily. I crawl over and place a light kiss on his lips, bringing him to reality._

 

_"Babe, come on. We really have to go. Jason's going to kill us. We're supposed to be at the meeting by 8 and it's almost 7:30."_

 

_He finally realizes what is going on and rips the sheets away from his body, revealing his tight_

_boxer briefs. I growl at him playfully while putting on my own pants and he rubs his eyes, trying to wake up fully. Last night was incredible. We stayed up until 4, making love over and over, talking in between about everything and anything. I never thought that I could be so happy because of another person, but just watching him walk over to my dresser, opening the drawer dedicated to his clothes, makes my heart skip a beat. He pulls a pair of black skinnies over his hips, buttoning them before shuffling through for a shirt. I walk over and wrap my bare arms around his, pulling his back into my chest and kissing his neck._

 

_"Lou, we're never going to leave if you start that."_

 

_I pull away and grab one of his shirts out of the drawer. A tight black V-neck; that always looks_

_sexy on him._

 

_"Wear this one."_

 

_He pulls it on over his head and starts to push his hair out of his face a little._

 

_"Do you have a hat or something? I don't feel like doing anything to my hair."_

 

_I pull out a gray beanie from my drawer and toss it to him before finding a shirt of my own. Once we're both dressed, we walk down the stairs to my car. Once inside, Harry grabs my hand I pull it onto my lap, resting it on my thigh._

 

_"So, do we know what this meeting is about?"Harry is finally waking up._

 

_"Probably the tour and whatever other shit they wanna give us."_

 

_I shrug because I really don't know. We were emailed yesterday about a meeting with the whole band at 8 am. I have no clue what it pertains to. We park in front of the building and immediately pull our hands away from each other, getting out of the car nonchalantly to walk to the office door._

 

_"Everyone is already up there. You can go on up."_

 

_Karen brings the phone back to her face and waves us onto the elevator. When we walk into his office, Jason has two empty seats in front of him, the rest of the guys standing behind them._

 

_What is this about?_

 

_"Ah, the men of the hour have finally arrived. Together."_

 

_Jason waved his hands toward the two chairs, motioning for us to sit and we complied._

 

_"What's going on?"_

 

_"Well, Louis, you tell me."_

 

_He throws down 5 separate newspaper and magazine articles, all containing a picture of Harry and I walking into my apartment building, holding hands. This was two nights ago, when we entered that building and only just now came out. News travels fast. This shouldn't even be considered news though. Why is it a big deal because we're both guys? If I was spotted doing the same with Eleanor, management would be patting me on the back. It doesn't help that they don't know me and Harry are together. They think they're covering up false rumors._

 

_"Well, that picture looks like me and Harry walking into my flat."_

 

_I look at Jason, pretending to be dumbfounded._

 

_"That's exactly what it looks like to me, too. You know, it kind of looks like two people coming back from a date, doesn't it?"_

 

_"Where are you going with this, Jason?" It's Harry's turn to play stupid._

 

_"You two aren't gay, are you?"_

 

_I look at Harry and the color drains from his face. Modest has never actually asked us this. They just assume that the rumors are false and force us to change peoples' minds. This can be our chance to fight back. He's asking. I start to open my mouth to speak, but Harry beats me to it._

 

_"Yes. Louis and I are together."_

 

_Jason's mouth drops open and he looks to the other guys behind us._

 

_"Did you all know about this?"_

 

_Liam, Zayn and Niall are astounded by Harry's confession but nod their heads, 'yes'._

 

_"GOD DAMMIT! If we knew this earlier, we would have been working much harder to cover your tracks! You guys have to be honest with us about these things and we will work out a plan together."_

 

_Did he just say worked harder to cover your tracks. What if we want everyone to know. Sure, Harry isn't quite ready yet but the second he gives me the ok, I'm shouting it from the rooftops of London. Now, it seems like I'll need more than Harry's ok._

 

_"So, what happens if people find out?"_

 

_"What happens? You guys lose everything. Your contract is shit and you'll owe us a lot of money."_

 

_"For being who they are? You would do that?!"_

 

_Liam is getting angry and that doesn't happen very often, especially on my behalf. I look at him in admiration for standing up for me and Harry's relationship, even though it had to take some getting used to for them as well._

 

_"Yeah, I would. You all signed a contract. We make the decisions to make you all look the best that we can. That isn't the type of publicity we want."_

 

_"No, who would want that?" Harry says sarcastically. " Since when is making me look like a womanizer better than letting our fans know that I'm in love with another man?"_

 

_"Since always. Homosexuality is beginning to become more widely accepted but it isn't where it needs to be for you gain anything from it."_

 

_"That's just the fucking thing, Jason. We aren't trying to gain anything from it. We're in love and you couldn't even pretend to give a shit, could you?"_

 

_"No, I couldn't. I'm way too busy wrapping my head around how I'm going to make you two look straight."_

 

_"That's not what we want."_

 

_"That's not what we want," he mimics Harry rudely, "news flash, no one cares. You chose this life and now you're going to have to get used to not always getting what you want."_

 

_"This isn't a fucking car! You're telling them they can't be together like it's nothing!"_

 

_Zayn is pacing across the room furiously now. I never knew how much they cared._

 

_"What if we all spend more time in the same area? It'll just look like we're together as a group at someone's flat and then they can do whatever they want!"_

 

_Niall came up with this idea and it's touching that he thought of doing that for me and Harry._

 

_"I don't care what the hell you do behind closed doors, but the next time I see shit like this, major action will be taken. Do you hear me, boys?"_

 

_We all nod silently, still exasperated from the rest of the meeting._

 

_"Just go. We'll talk about other stuff another time. Just get out of my office."_

 

_He shakes his head dismally, putting pressure on his temples. When we make it to the lobby, we all stand in a tight circle, no one else around us, besides Karen the assistant._

 

_"What the fuck do we do now?"_

 

_"I don't know. I can't believe Jason knows now. Was that a bad idea?"_

 

_Harry looks upset with himself and I reassuringly stroke his lower back._

 

_"No, I was about to say it when you did. It was going to happen sooner or later."_

 

_"Well, I don't know about you guys, but," Niall looks down like he's thinking deeply, "it's time for_

_breakfast and I'm starved."_

 

_We all erupt in laughter and decide to get brunch._

 

 

**_Present Day:_ **

I grab my phone from the poolside table, creating a new text message.

 

 

_*TO: My Love <3_

_I miss you so much, babe. Anyway you could sneak over here for a night or something? I know it sounds crazy, but I need you.*_

 

 

I chug down the rest of my drink and stare off into the sunset. It hasn't even been a minute when my phone buzzes in my hand.

 

 

_*FROM: My Love <3_

_Look behind you.*_

 

 

I frantically look around and stop at the curly-haired boy sitting at the bar, 20 feet away from me.


	9. Chapter 9

**HARRY'S P.O.V.**

 

Within seconds of sending Louis the text message revealing my presence, my phone begins to ring. He looks around to me, waiting for me to answer. I slide my finger across the screen to talk to him.

 

"Hey, did I surprise you?"

 

"Uh, yeah! What the hell is your sexy ass doing here?"

 

I love sassy Louis.

 

"Well, you know I can't stay away from you."

 

"How did you escape the confines of London?"

 

I look over and see Cara walking toward me.

 

"Umm.. You're not going to like it."

 

He looks at me as Cara puts her arm around my waist flirtatiously.

 

"She knows, Lou."

 

"Shit. Well, go to your room and me and El will be up there in a few minutes so we don't bring attention to ourselves. What's your room number?"

 

I look down at my room key to be sure.

 

"Erm... 402."

 

I hear the click of the call ending and turn to Cara, speaking softly so no one else would hear.

 

"They're going to meet us upstairs, come on."

 

I grab her hand and try to make it convincing for the paparazzi I knew would be surrounding the hotel. Once we get into the room, she puts on a cover up and sits on the bed.

 

"Are you sure he isn't mad?"

 

"Well, he's not happy about it, but I think it can help us in the long run."

 

She simply nods and picks up her phone, messing with it since we have nothing to talk about. It's awkward being with her so often. We literally have nothing in common. She's nice and easy to get along with but after a few hours, we're both bored, and we've finally admitted that to ourselves. We're friends in some sense, but it's not like we're close. When I finally hear the knock on the door, my heart skips a beat. I walk over quickly and open it, instantly pulling Louis into a hug.

 

"I missed you so much, Lou."

 

"Yeah, you too. But, we need to talk."

 

I follow his gaze to Cara, who is standing now, smiling excitedly.

 

"Don't worry, Louis, I won't tell anyone! I promise!"

 

Louis simply stares, still in shock, before pulling me into the bedroom by my wrist. Once the door shuts, he starts the interrogation.

 

"How did she find out? Management always said she thought you just needed some publicity. Did she sign a contract?"

 

"They, uh, don't know yet."

 

"Harry! What the hell? They're going to flip! Why does she even know?"

 

"She kind of just figured it out on her own and I figured we could use it to our advantage."

 

"You should have talked to me about this first. Since when are you the bold one?"

 

"Since they tried to get me to stay away from you for a month. They should have known better"

 

I pull him toward me, kissing him softly, but he pulls away, still not satisfied with the information.

 

"What's your plan for when they find out you're here?"

 

"I've taken care of it. Tomorrow's papers will read, 'COUPLES RETREAT'- They've already gotten an 'anonymous' tip that Cara and I were on our way to France, at her request, for a weekend full of double dates with my completely heterosexual, platonic friend and his very serious girlfriend. People will eat it up and Modest won't be able to say a thing."

 

He pulls me closer to him, pulling himself up to my level, kissing me passionately. I pull his shirt over his head, tossing it aside.

 

"It's brilliant. It just might work. Now, let's make this weekend worth it in case it doesn't."

 

I push him onto the bed, crawling toward him as soon as my shirt is off, placing kisses up his torso until I find his lips again. He groans into my mouth, aching for more. I don't want to wait any longer. These past two weeks have been complete torture without him. I stand up, flipping him over so that he's laying on his stomach. I rip off his swim trunks, followed by mine. When I crawl back onto the bed, I lay on top of him, pulling at his hair while I suck on the spot on his neck below his ear.

 

"Harry, please. I want you so badly."

 

I smile against his skin, running my lips across his jaw line, pulling his hair harder so that his mouth is accessible. I guide myself into him, kissing him roughly and sloppily, forgetting how good he felt. I moaned loudly just at the familiar feeling of being inside him, but as soon as I pull out a little and thrust back into him, we are both screaming in delight. I felt the selfish urge to make this all about me for the time being and arch my back to keep the rhythm moving quickly. Having gone so long without his touch makes the pleasure so much more intense. I can't control the noises coming from my mouth so I don't even try. Even though I know he won't find his release this way, he seems to be enjoying it a lot, too. This is what I've been craving; I would literally do anything to never be deprived of him again. I feel my high overcoming me, clouding my thoughts and causing a ripple of ecstasy to flow through my body, making my toes curl as I twitched inside him, releasing everything that I have in one final thrust. I give myself a moment on top of him, breathing into his neck, to calm myself down again. However, I don't give myself long because I want Louis to feel as good as I do. I pull out of him and flip him back over so that he's laying on his back, his eyes begging for me. I grin at him, lowering my face to be centered with his hips. I take his length in my hand, slowly stroking it before taking it into my mouth, keeping eye contact with him the entire time. As I take him deeper and deeper into my mouth, letting him hit the back of my throat as I try not to gag, he instinctively wraps his fingers in my hair to push himself farther. He loses the eye contact because of the extreme pleasure he is experiencing. Seeing him unravel this way makes it all worth it. To see him bite his lip, trying to bridle his moans, makes me feel good about myself.

 

"Oh, Harry... Fuck! I missed this."

 

I can tell that he's close, not only because of his remark but because he can't control his legs anymore. They start to close in around my head but I don't mind. I love having this control over his body. He pulls on my hair even more and I can feel his hands trembling from my actions. I wrap my arms under his legs, finding his free hand to hold as he comes in my mouth, convulsing against the sheets, screaming and gripping my hand and hair tightly. I make sure to swallow every last bit of what he left in my mouth, joining him by the pillows when done. He pulls me into his arms so that we are facing each other and I nestle my head into his neck, underneath his chin.

 

"I love you so much, Harry."

 

"I love you, Louis. So much more than you could ever know."

 

He kisses my forehead and starts to rub circles on my back. He starts to chuckle to himself and reveals the reason.

 

"Well, I hope our girlfriends are getting along alright."


	10. Chapter 10

**LOUIS' P.O.V.**

 

When Harry and I rejoin the girls, they are sitting on opposite ends of the couch, looking at their phones in silence. If this is going to work, they need to find something in common so that Harry and I don't feel so bad about slipping off and leaving them alone.

 

"So, what should we do tonight? We should probably go out so that they can get plenty of pictures of us all together."

 

I look at Eleanor and her eyes are pleading with me to not leave her alone with Cara ever again.

 

"Yeah, Louis, what's the name of that restaurant we went to the first night we were here? It was pretty good."

 

"Oh, umm. I think it's called Le Cafe de Minuit!"

 

"Yeah! I'll look up the number and make a reservation."

 

I nod to her and look at Harry for his input.

 

"Sure, sounds good to me. Cara?"

 

"I'm cool with whatever! We should go dancing after!"

 

I don't dance and Harry isn't a fan either. Anytime I've gone, it's with Eleanor for publicity, but I make sure I get wasted before. It couldn't hurt to be seen grinding with girls, though.

 

"Uhh... Yeah, that's actually an alright idea."

 

Eleanor's eyes shoot up to me and over to Cara.

 

"Wait. Did you just convince Louis to go dancing? THANK YOU! I love it but he hates going and if I go with someone else, paparazzi goes crazy! Ahh!!!! This is going to be so much fun."

 

Well, that's one way to get them to like each other. I look to Harry and shrug, as if to say, 'that was easy.' They continue to talk about television shows and music now that the doors have opened their conversation. Eleanor calls to make reservations while Harry and I walk back to the bedroom, just to talk. I sit on the loveseat and he joins me, laying across my lap so that I can play with his hair like I love to. I start to run my fingers through his messy curls and he rubs his hand on my thigh.

 

"Lou? Do you ever think about what it would be like if we could come out?"

 

"It's about all I think about. What would be the first thing you would do? Like, what do you wish we could do the most that we can't because of our contract?"

 

"That's a tough one, but I'd have to say kissing you in public. There are so many times I've felt the urge to just push you against a wall and kiss you while were walking about, and holding that in kills me. Second, would be just holding your hand. I never really get to do that. What about you?"

 

"The first thing I'd do is take you on a proper date. I want to take you out the way I take Eleanor out, the cameras following us, trying to get a good shot of us holding hands across the table, having a deep conversation. Oh, and of course living together. Really living together; not just sneaking into each other's flats. I would want to get a new flat that we pick out and decorate. We'll pick out a bed and stuff for the kitchen; things couples normally get to do."

 

"Isn't it funny how they make it seem like us coming out would be such an ordeal, when all we want is to have a regular relationship? Just like Zayn and Perrie. Why can't we have that when we've been together for so long? It infuriates me."

 

Harry starts to tense up but I continue to stroke his hair. soothing him.

 

"I know, love. It pisses me off so much."

 

I've always been the more angry one but in the past month, Harry seems to be holding some major grudges against management for keeping us apart. It seems like he's going to explode. I don't want either of us to have a break down and if it weren't for Harry, I would have had one years ago. He's my anchor, my conscience. He knows just what to say to calm me down, but him getting angry is just going to fuel my fire even more. I hate seeing Harry emotional like that. He get's so down on himself, too and even though he isn't saying it, I think he's really depressed without me there all the time. I miss him and all, but his depression is more than just missing me. He needs someone to pick him up from these slumps and I'm really the only one that does the trick.

 

"Harry?"

 

"Yeah, Lou?"

 

"I love you so much. You know that, right?"

 

"Yeah."

 

"Don't 'yeah' me. I don't think you realize what I'd do for you. Sometimes I want to just say 'fuck

it all' and just run away with you. I wouldn't regret it for a second if it didn't affect our best mates."

 

He turns so that he is laying on his back, facing me, but still laying on my legs.

 

"You mean that?"

 

"Yeah! I don't need anything but you, Harry. I don't need fame. I don't need money. Only you."

 

"I love you, too. I wish we could do that- just run away. At least our contract is getting closer to being up."

 

"Yep, and thankfully we have amazing friends that are going to stick by us through it all."

 

He turns back to his side, curling his arms into his chest, sighing deeply.

 

"You know, I try to seem like I don't care what people will say when we come out, but, Lou... I'm

terrified. I don't want people to hate us. Hate me."

 

"I know, Harry. You've always cared too much about what other people think. But, do you feel like it's worth it to really be together?"

 

"Anything is worth that."

 

I lean down and kiss his forehead, turning him onto his back again. I push him forward so that I can lay down next to him and he faces me. I place one hand on the side of his face and just admire his emerald eyes for a moment before slowly and purposefully kissing him on the lips, nipping lightly on his bottom lip. I could cuddle with him all day, every day. I know that for the first few months we live together, we won't get anything done. He pulls away from my kiss and nuzzles his face in my shoulder, breathing deeply through his nose. I can tell that he's still down about everything. He puts on such a good facade but I knew the second I saw him that he wasn't doing well. Not because he looked sad; just because he was there. He doesn't take risks when it comes to our relationship the way that I might. For him to come to France when I was exiled here to stay away from him, meant that he was more depressed than ever.

 

"Harry, are you okay?"

 

"I am now."

 

"I couldn't sleep thinking about how miserable you had to have been."

 

"It's been bad, Lou. The worst ever, I think. The meds aren't enough, so I've just been drinking so I can sleep."

 

I don't like hearing that. I don't want to know, but I need to know.

 

"Harry, please don't do that. At least we'll both sleep this weekend."

 

"Can we promise to never spend that much time apart for the rest of our lives? I don't think I can take it."

 

"Promise." I pause and think about our future. It always makes me happy to think about Harry and I being together in the future, when things can be right. "I'm gonna marry you one day, Harry."

 

I feel him smile against my neck.

 

"I can't wait."

**_________________________________**

 

"Louis! Harry! Wake up, sleepy heads!"

 

My eyes flicker open to Eleanor waving her hands in front of my eyes. I guess we fell asleep on the couch and I shake Harry a little to wake him up.

 

"What time is it?"

 

"7 and our reservation is at 8 so you guys should take a shower. We're about done getting

ready."

 

I nod and sit up, forcing Harry to move. He sits up but immediately lays on my shoulder, kissing it before pulling back and making himself stand up. We walk toward the bathroom and Eleanor calls after us.

 

"Please take separate showers! We don't have time for you two to have fun."

 

I smirk at her and smack Harry's butt, shooing him into the bathroom to go first. I walk to the mini-fridge and pull out a beer, popping off the cap and chugging half of it in one gulp. Tonight's going to be awful. The worst is always being with Harry and not being able to touch him. At all. Especially tonight. It will be all about convincing the public that we are straight and happy with two lovely women. _Alcohol is going to be a necessity._


	11. Chapter 11

**HARRY'S P.O.V.**

 

"Dinner was delicious, thanks!"

 

Cara wraps her arm around my waist and I drape mine over her shoulder, trying to convince the loads of paparazzi gathered around the restaurant as we leave. The flashes are blinding and I can hear very few of their questions.

 

"Was it just a fluke, what happened with you and Louis?"

 

"Were you guys just drunk?"

 

"Was it all a joke?"

 

"Are your girlfriends a joke?"

 

They are trying to get a reaction out of one of us but we continue walking until we reach the night club, pretending to be unaware of their presence. Once we reach the door, the bouncer immediately lets us in, either recognizing us or seeing the cameras following us. We walk back to the VIP section and sit down in a booth, Cara next to me and Eleanor next to Louis.

 

"Can we please dance?"

 

"How about you two go dance!"

 

Eleanor looks at Cara in response to Louis' comment and she nods in agreement. The two girls walk run out to the dance floor, Eleanor pulling Cara by the hand. Louis and I don't dare to move seats so that we are next to each other, but lean over the table instead. The entire meal, Louis was outlining hearts on my thigh underneath the table, working his way up my leg, making me so hot for him. I was really growing impatient by the time we reached the club.

 

"I really wish we could get out of here."

 

"Oh, me too. I'm gonna fuck you so hard when we get back, Hazz."

 

He whispers through gritted teeth, making me hard on the spot.

 

"You can't do this to me right now, Lou. I can't think straight when you talk like that."

 

He smirks, considering continuing but deciding against it, obviously knowing it won't help. A

scantily clad woman walks up and says something in French but when we look at her with confused looks on our faces, she translates.

 

"Can I get you two something to drink?"

 

"Oh, yes please. I'll have a sex on the beach, and Louis here will have a martini. Top shelf. Extra dirty."

 

I wink at Louis after my last request and the woman walks away.

 

"Yeah, I'll show you extra dirty. You just wait."

 

 _There he goes again._ When we're in public, it's like he can't help but to give me a boner. I don't know if he finds it amusing or if he just gets really horny. Either way, it sucks. The woman returns with our drinks and Louis immediately eats the olive in his. I sip mine quickly, so that it's halfway gone when I pull away the first time. We've been drinking the whole night, but I was going to need more if I was going to dance, especially with Cara. We finish those drinks and call for another round just as the girls return.

 

"We want something to drink too!"

 

"Just order when she brings our drinks. After we get a little more wasted, we're going to come grind on you guys for a bit."

 

The girls giggle at my matter-of-fact tone. Louis does, too. When the server returns with our drinks, Cara and Eleanor order cocktails before she leaves again. I suck down this drink even faster than the first, really feeling drunk by now. Louis is half-way done with his martini and looks out of it as well. Perfect. Once Louis downs the rest of his drink, I pull Cara out of her seat and drag her to the crowded dance floor.

 

"Let's get this over with."

 

I know that a lot of gay guys act just like girls and would love to go dancing with their female friends. But, I'm not like that. I hate to dance, first of all, and I'm terrible at it. I also don't like grinding on Cara while Louis is right next to me, doing the same. Maybe if I could dance with him, I'd feel differently. I can't wait to get back to the hotel.

 

______________________________________________________________

 

 

"Thanks for taking us dancing; it was a lot of fun."

 

Eleanor kisses Louis on the cheek and I see cameras flash immediately, exactly the way we

wanted. I take advantage of their presence and push Cara up against the wall, my arms balancing me against the brick as I lean in toward her, whispering in her ear first.

 

"I'm going to kiss you and we're going to act like we like it."

 

She giggles and nods lightly. I place my lips on hers, grinding my body against hers, hearing the cameras clicking non-stop. She breaks away and points at Louis and Eleanor, who are waiting at the curb to cross the street.

 

"Yeah, Cara. I can't wait to get you home!"

 

I make sure to say this loudly as we rejoin Louis and Eleanor, almost back to the hotel. I lean over and whisper into Louis' ear.

 

"That should hold them over for a while."

 

He chuckles lightly and grabs Eleanor's hand as we cross the street.

 

Once we reach the hotel, the girls find their way to Louis and Eleanor's suite, which is just down the hall from the one I reserved. When Louis and I are on the other side of the door, all of the pent-up sexual frustration from tonight is unchained.

 

"Louis, I want you so bad."

 

He answers by moaning into my neck and quickly unbuttoning the top buttons on my shirt. He gives up half-way down and pulls it over my head instead. I'm thankful he's wearing a t-shirt because I can easily take it off, making it possible to reach his pants quicker. As soon as I un-do the button, I kneel down on my knees as I pull his pants down. He leans his back against the wall to steady himself as I fondle his package through his boxers. As soon as I feel him harden under my lips, I yank his boxers down, leaving them at his feet as I grip his length with my hand. His head rolls back as I take him into my mouth, sucking sharply as I pull back and take him in again.

 

"Fuck, Harry."

 

He grabs my hair and thrusts himself into my mouth roughly, pulling my hair to guide himself in and out. I know that he's about to climax because his thrusts become sloppy and forced. He moans loudly, losing control of his movements so I take over, placing my hand back at the base of his member, matching it with my mouth's movement. He hits the back of my throat so that I gag a little and my eyes water but I continue. Within a couple more minutes, he comes in my mouth, his release falling down my throat which I welcome gladly. As soon as I lick him clean, I stand up, balancing him by pressing my body against his.

 

"Now, I'm going to fuck you against this wall."

 

He is still unable to speak but I turn him around roughly and slam him into the wall again, leaving him there as I walk into the room to get the lubricant. When I return, he's still panting against the wall and I pull my pants down, lathering my length with lube. I walk over to him and position myself behind him.

 

"Be good for me, baby."

 

I thrust into him roughly, entering him completely right away. He groans deeply, probably in pain, so I stay there for a minute, allowing his body to become accustomed to my size again.

 

"Are you alright, Lou?"

 

"Better than alright. You should dominate more often."

 

I see him grin from the side and I bite my lip in desire. I pull out slowly and push back into him, harder this time. It's my turn to moan, my hips hitting his ass. I get into a rhythm, nibbling on his neck and ear. I grit my teeth, losing my breath as I start to feel my orgasm overcome me.

 

"Almost there, Lou. I love you so much."

 

He reaches back and pulls my mouth to his, gripping my hair violently.

 

"I love you, Harry. I want to be with you forever."

 

It's moments like this that make our relationship worth it, even through all of the shit we put up with. Knowing deep down that we are going to love each other forever makes our being a secret for the time being seem miniscule in comparison. I feel my body convulse against him, holding myself deep inside him as I come viciously. I can't control my screams so I bury my face into his neck to muffle them. When I pull out, he turns to face me and grasps my face in his hands.

 

"Seriously, Hazz. You need to take over more, babe. That was incredibly sexy."

He pulls my face closer and kisses me before I have the chance to answer. _He's right. That felt so good._

 

"Maybe I will, but I still like when you top, Lou."

 

I raise my eyebrows to him, hinting for him to take action.

 

"Babe, let's just go to sleep. We have all day tomorrow."

 

He winks at me and pulls me into the bedroom. We lay down and he spoons me under the sheets as we drift off into a deep, peaceful sleep.


	12. Chapter 12

**LOUIS' P.O.V.**

 

_The five of us walk into Jason's office and Liam, Niall, and Zayn sit down, Harry and I standing behind them. Jason has a grim look on his face, not any different than any other time we met with him. He sifts through the stack of papers in front of him and looks up at me and Harry with disapproval in his eyes._

 

_"I'm sorry, boys, but you've ruined it for everyone. Just because you couldn't keep your dicks in your pants."_

 

_What does he mean? I don't understand. Liam doesn't seem to either._

 

_"Jason, what are you talking about?"_

 

_"One Direction is nothing. You guys are done. You can blame 'Larry' over there."_

 

_Zayn and Niall turn around in their seats to look at us, disgust in their faces._

 

_"We knew you would ruin it for us. We didn't want to be mean, but we never agreed with your relationship. It's sick. Twisted!"_

 

_Zayn throws his hands in the air, obviously furious. Niall stands up in a huff, throwing the chair back behind him._

 

_"Seriously, what the fuck? All you two had to do was keep it under wraps and what do you do? The exact opposite! You're both assholes; I can't even be here anymore. See you in hell."_

 

_Zayn follows him out and Liam stands up, calmer than the other two, and I know he'll have something supportive to say. He always does. He walks toward us, bringing one hand up to eye level, pointing in my face._

 

_"I knew it would be you. You are the weakest. I knew you'd break. I hope it was worth it, fags."_

 

_He storms off, slamming the door behind him. I can't control my emotions and tears stream down my face. I turn to Harry and he doesn't seem shocked. I bury my face in his shoulder, trying to find some comfort but he pushes me away._

 

_"Louis, I can't do this. Liam is right. It wasn't worth it. I don't really love you; I just wanted to have a little fun and it backfired."_

 

_As he walks away, I fall to the floor, landing roughly on my knees. I scream at Jason for ruining our lives but he laughs maniacally right in front of me, not caring in the least. He's an even richer man now; why should he care? At that, I rush to the window and open it to get some air. Has my life really come to this? Have I really lost four of the most important people in my life? Harry being the most? I look down at the street, far below me, and see those four lads hop into a car, not thinking twice about me. I can't live like this. On a whim, I climb onto the ledge of the window, Jason still laughing at my pain behind me, and fall, the wind blowing through my hair and clothes. It's refreshing and the moments seems to last forever until..._

 

"LOU! Wake up!"

 

Harry is shaking me awake violently, making my heart race more than it already was. My eyes shoot open and I see his worried face hovering over me and I sit up quickly, struggling because of the sheets constricting me. I start to catch my breath and look back at Harry.

 

"You must of had an awful dream. You were shaking and screaming. Are you okay, boo?"

 

"Yeah. It... It was the worst nightmare, Hazz."

 

He pulls me into his chest and I lay there, glad to feel him comforting me, unlike in my dream.

 

"Do you want to talk about it?"

 

"I... We were all in Jason's office and he was yelling at me and you saying we ruined it for

everyone and that the band was done."

 

He looks at me to continue, rubbing my arm soothingly.

 

"And... Zayn, Niall, and Liam said awful things to us, things they would never say, and stormed out. When I turned to you, crying, you pushed me away and told me you never loved me. Then, you followed them and I jumped out the window while Jason laughed at me."

 

Harry holds me tighter, rocking me back and forth as I finish telling him about my awful dream.

 

"Lou, that would never happen. You have me. Forever. The rest of the guys, too, you know.

 

We've all been through too much together and they support our relationship."

 

"I know, Hazz, but, I know that I'm slowly falling apart. I can't take all of this pressure when all I

want is to be with you. I know it won't be long before I have a nervous breakdown."

 

He just keeps rocking me back and forth, kissing my cheek and shoulder.

 

"Louis, no matter what happens, I love you more than life itself. We'll be together forever, even if

it means ruining our careers. I'll drop everything before I let you break down."

 

He lays us back down on the bed and holds my face between his hands, caressing me softly.

Finally, completely back to reality, I kiss him tenderly, wrapping my arms around his torso and roll on top of him. I can't get over how lucky I am to have Harry in my life, and it always hurts me to think about losing him. I know he loves me, but I feel deep down like he'll leave me someday, making life unlivable. Although jumping out of a window was a bit dramatic, I can't ever see myself living without Harry. Every major plot point of my future in my mind contained Harry. Marriage. Kids. Everything.

 

"I love you, Harry. Don't ever leave me."

 

"Louis, don't even say that. I couldn't ever-"

 

"I know you say that now, and I don't know why I'm afraid of it, but I feel like you're too good for-"

 

He cuts me off by kissing me again, holding onto me and running his fingers through my hair.

 

"I don't EVER want to hear those words come out of your beautiful mouth, Lou."

 

I don't have anything else to say; I only want to feel him. I crash my lips into his, biting his bottom lip and pulling it toward me. I take that opportunity to slip my tongue into his mouth, running it lightly along his lips, finding his tongue in the meantime. He sucks on my tongue lightly and I feel myself harden against his thigh. It's the middle of the night and I plan on making as much noise as possible.

 

I pull away and reach over to grab the lubricant that is still sitting next to the bed from earlier that night. I pour some into my hand, rubbing it down my length, still naked from before. Harry stays in place, holding on to my biceps impatiently. I place myself against him, lifting his legs up by looping my arms under his knees so that he is easily accessible. I lean down and kiss him as I guide myself inside of him, slowly so as to not hurt him. Even though, we have sex all the time, I know that if I thrust to hard from the beginning, it's painful for him. Once I can tell that he is relaxed and comfortable, I pull back and start to pump into him, my body taking over my mind. With one hand, I reach between us and find his solid member, grasping it tightly so I could make him feel even better. As I do so, he grabs a bunch of my hair and pulls my face back to his, kissing me all over until he finds my quivering lips.

 

"Lou-is, ohhhh, I-Love-You-So-Much."

 

He pants as he talks between hard thrusts that I match with my hand that is holding his manhood.

 

"I love you Harry. Fuck, you feel so good."

 

I continue my rhythm, enjoying being able to kiss him so easily and watch his face as he cries out my name in pleasure. I moan loudly as my hips hit his ass, knowing that I've entered him entirely and loving every second of it. I continue to pump my hand in the same rhythm, causing him to very close to finishing, which I could tell by his movements and facial expression. I sped myself up a little, wanting to meet him in his climax so we can finish together. Just like clock-work, we scream in delight as our high overtakes us, making everything else that we do seem pointless. He comes on the sheets, which bothers neither of us, at least not right now. As soon as I can gather any thought, I pull out and release my hand from him, freeing his legs as well. I lay to his left, on the side not covered in cum so that we can regain full awareness.

 

"See, Lou? That right there is enough to keep me forever." He chuckled lightly and laid on my chest.


	13. Chapter 13

**HARRY'S P.O.V.**

 

 

I wake up in the morning to an unfamiliar touch and my eyes shoot open in shock. It's Cara.

 

"What's going on?"

 

When I try to sit up, I'm constricted by Louis' arm which is draped over my chest as he sleeps.

 

"I'm sorry; I didn't want to wake you up but El said that I should so we can do something today. If me and her are seen without you two, then..."

 

Her voice trails off as if she's trying not to offend me.

 

"...then people will think Louis and I are in here doing exactly what we're doing?"

 

I finish her sentence to assure her that I wasn't annoyed by her referring to my relationship with Louis.

 

"Yes. So, are we going to the beach today?"

 

"Sure. Just go in the other room and get ready with Eleanor or something and I'll get Louis up.

We're not exactly dressed."

 

She turns red and scurries out of the room, apologizing. I roll onto my side and kiss Louis'

forehead softly. I hate waking him up, but at least I could do it nicely.

 

"Lou, we have to get up."

 

I trail kisses down his face and onto his neck, gaining a sleepy moan from him. He doesn't

move though, so I reach down and softly stroke his already hard member as I find his lips with mine. He kisses me back, raising one hand to rest it on my cheek. I pull away, lingering over him.

 

"Well, since you're awake, we need to get up so we can go to the beach."

 

"Oh, I heard Cara. I just like how you wake me up."

 

I laugh and roll on top of him, pinning him to the bed. I hold his hands above his head and start to grind my hips into his as I growl into his neck. I stop myself before I get too carried away.

 

"Come on, Lou. Let's go take a shower."

 

I hop off of him and pull the sheets down, exposing both of our naked bodies. I make myself stand up before I lose any self control I still have. I walk into the bathroom and brush my teeth while Louis is still in bed, but I hear him call from the room not much later.

 

"Hazza!"

 

I peek around the doorway at him and he's looking at his phone, fear in his face. I pull my toothbrush out of my mouth so that I can speak.

 

"What is it?"

 

"I have 30 missed calls from Modest and about 20 messages from Liam, Zayn, and Niall. I

guess everyone realizes that you're here."

 

"Well, we knew that was coming. We probably should have checked our phones a bit more."

I walk back into the bathroom and rinse out my mouth. I pull on a pair of boxers from my bag and walk back over to Louis.

 

"I'm going to call Liam first."

 

He dials the number and puts it on speaker.

 

"Louis?!"

 

"And Harry. We're both here. You're on speaker."

 

"Where the hell have you guys been? We've been trying to call-"

 

"Yes, we saw! What's up?"

 

"What's up? WHAT'S UP? Have you not seen the papers, or twitter, or ANYTHING?"

 

"What are you talking about Liam?"

 

"Just go on twitter before you call Jason. He's walking in though, I gotta go."

 

He hangs up without saying goodbye and Louis looks at me, eyes open wide. He looks back at

his phone and opens the twitter app, both of us afraid of what we'll fine. We scroll down to find _#larryisreal_ trending, but that isn't so new. After reading a few mentions from fans, we see

posts from news sites.

 

_'Harry and Louis seen walking into hotel room late at night.'_

 

_'One Direction heart throbs ditch girlfriends and stay the night together in France.'_

 

_'Eleanor and Cara left alone in suite by Harry and Louis.'_

 

I grab the phone and walk over to the door connecting the bedroom to the living room and look directly at Eleanor.

 

"Where's your phone?"

 

"I haven't looked at it since yesterday, why?"

 

"Cara, where is yours?"

 

"Dead."

 

"Harry, what's going on?"

 

I hand Eleanor the phone as Louis appears in the doorway, now wearing boxers.

 

"Oh my god. Who tipped them off? No one is allowed on this floor besides hotel staff and no one was in the hallway, where they?"

 

"I didn't think so! We were pretty drunk, so I don't know."

 

I instantly regret drinking as much as we did, wanting desperately to recall details of last night.

 

"Lou, you guys didn't order room service or anything, right?"

 

"No! We didn't. We went to bed- pretty soon after we got back."

 

I look at Eleanor, waiting for her to say something but Cara does instead.

 

"I ordered something last night. I... I didn't think anything of it, but the guy walked into the room,

El, while you were sleeping."

 

"Did he realize who we were?"

 

"Yeah, I found it pretty weird, actually. He called me by my name even though I never gave him it."

 

I run my fingers through my hair, pulling on it lightly, as I try to think of a plan. Eleanor hands Louis his phone and he continues to scroll through tweets.

 

"Wait, there's a video."

 

He clicks it and it starts to load, Eleanor and Cara standing up and forming a huddle so they can

see as well. The first frame is me and Cara against a wall, after leaving the club. The video is shaky and quite blurry, probably taken on a cell phone. All you can hear is hustle of paparazzi until, clear as day,

 

"...act like we like it."

 

Then, I kiss her and yell obnoxiously,

 

"Yeah, Cara, I can't wait to get you home!"

 

Then, the video stops abruptly. I look up and all of our eyes shift, meeting each other's frantically.

 

"Dammit. I always let something slip when I think no one can hear."

 

"Jason is going to flip, Hazz. After I had to come here to draw attention away from the kiss, he's

not going to be happy."

 

"We need to call him though, or else it's going to make things worse."

 

He dials the number and holds my hand as we sit on the couch. Karen's annoying voice rings

through the phone.

 

"Modest Management. How may I direct your call?"

 

"It's Harry and Louis."

 

"Jason's been waiting for your call. One moment."

 

Within seconds of being patched through, his deep voice boomed through the loud speaker.

 

"What the HELL has taken you so long to call?"

 

"We were sleeping, sor-"

 

"Harry, what were you thinking? Why are you even there?"

 

I try to think of a reason he could understand but the heartless bastard couldn't understand anything about our relationship.

 

"I thought I had taken care of it. I leaked the story about Cara and I's romantic getaway and thought that would be the end of it!"

 

"You naive little... I don't even know what to say that I haven't said before. I swear you two don't think."

 

I hear Zayn mumble something in the background and Jason hushes him.

 

"I don't care how 'in love' you are. If you are willing to put your relationship in front of everything else, then you don't deserve what you have."

 

Niall speaks louder than Zayn had before,

 

"They deserve it all! They should be able to have each other AND the band."

 

"Niall, shut up. I'm not the bad guy here. They knew what they were doing and they obviously don't care about you gu-"

 

Louis cuts him off rudely, yelling so that the others in his office could hear.

 

"That isn't true! That's the whole reason we've kept quiet this long! It's not for us; it's for them!"

 

"We know, Lou. Don't worry. We aren't mad at you guys! It's this assh-"

 

"That's enough, Liam." He clears his throat and continues to speak, "Harry, I need you and Cara

to stay the rest of the weekend at a different hotel, making sure that you spend practically all day and night in sight of the public eye. Lots of PDA. Stay out late and sleep in but don't leave each others' side. When you bring her back, do not let her leave your sight. You two will come STRAIGHT to my office on Monday morning and she will sign official papers. Are we clear?"

 

"Yeah."

 

I don't know what else to say. I guess we won't know what all will happen until the weekend is up, but I can't really risk being seen with Louis until then.

 

"You guys stay away from each other! I don't want to see another picture that you're both in. If the camera can fit you in the same shot, you're too close."

 

"Fine, Jason."

 

Louis looks at me through gritted teeth and I look at Cara who looks scared, finally realizing the responsibility involved in being a fake girlfriend.

 

"See you Monday, Harry. Don't fuck up this weekend."

 

I wince at the tone of voice he uses, but it wasn't anything new. He's almost always angry at us for something, even if it's obviously cropped photos that fans made. This weekend that was supposed to be so wonderful, has quickly turned into my own personal weekend from hell.


	14. Chapter 14

**LOUIS' P.O.V.**

 

Saying goodbye to Harry last week was the hardest thing I've ever done. Him being around the corner for two days made it that much harder, but we haven't seen each other at all after he left our hotel that day. Now he's in London again, pretending to be happy as he takes Cara everywhere he goes so that it seems like they are inseparable. Her contract is signed and she's in it for the long-haul which is one more thing in the way of Harry and I being openly together. I miss him so much and I can't wait to go home in two weeks, but even then, it'll be hard to be alone.

 

 

**HARRY'S P.O.V.**

 

When Cara and I got home last week, we went straight to Modest's offices so that she could sign her binding contract. It felt wrong. Like a sham marriage. It was the same really; we signed papers saying that we would 'be together' and thankfully there was no 'forever' attached to it. Jason yelled at me, but that was really it for now. Cara and I are supposed to spend every waking moment with each other, as if it was love at first sight or something. They want us to be inseparable, which really sucks for us both. Cara has a life and so do I and honestly, she's great, but I can't stand being around her for more than a few hours. She's the kind of girl who's personality you would put up with because she's a model. But, I'm not attracted to her, so it makes things that much worse. She even has to spend the night sometimes so that pictures of her walking out of my apartment early in the morning could plaster front page news. Thankfully, I have a guest room, because it would kill me to let her sleep in my bed. The bed that Louis belongs in.

 

I miss Louis so incredibly much. He gets back in two weeks, but what difference does it make? I know exactly what's going to happen. Management is going to tell us to stay away from each other during interviews and performances. They're going to tell us to not see each other unless the rest of the guys are present. They're going to literally rip us apart and not give a shit about how we feel. Today, I woke up feeling more lonely than ever, rolling over to the side that he usually sleeps on and hugging his pillow. I hate sleeping alone; I just want Louis to come home. I force myself to get up and take a shower. Once I'm under the running water, I think about what would happen if Lou were here. He'd kiss my neck and play with my hair; probably stand on his toes to push his hips into mine- and I'm hard. I decide that since he won't be back for a while, I'll just have to pleasure myself. I think back to the time we made love at my mum's.

 

 

**FLASHBACK:**

 

_"Shhhh, Lou, be quiet. I think I hear someone."_

_We both get silent immediately, hiding under my covers a little. I know I have to tell my family about Louis eventually, but for now, they think we're only mates. When the heavy footsteps pass, Louis rolls over onto me again, making me giggle into his neck. I feel so happy when I'm with Louis. Just cuddling with him makes any bad day forgettable. So, being intimate makes it that much better. Neither one of us are wearing shirts, laying in my room in only pajama pants. I run my hands down his back, starting at his neck and ending at his bum. I slip my hands into his pants and squeeze him playfully._

 

_"Oh, and I thought you were against fucking me here."_

 

_"I... I was."_

 

_I changed my mind the second Louis walked into my room twenty minutes ago. He chuckles and leans down to start kissing my neck. It feels so right to be here with him. I didn't really think it would, but it feels like we're just a normal couple when we're here. Laying in my old bedroom, it feels like we were never on the X-factor and met at school or something. It feels natural. I pull him closer to me and kiss him and he moans into my mouth as I bring my hips up to meet his._

 

_"Hazz. Shouldn't we at least give them time to fall asleep?"_

 

_He has a point. I don't really want my mum to find out I'm gay by her walking in on me and my boyfriend having sex. I lay back and Louis falls next to me. I pull him toward me to lay on my chest and begin to play with his hair, trying to think of anything besides him crawling under the sheets and laying betwee- it isn't working. It's all I can think about. After a painful thirty minutes, the house is completely silent. I roll onto my side and peck Louis lightly. As I pull away playfully, he rolls onto me again, pressing me into the bed and kissing me passionately. I can feel him harden through our pants, which really need to come off. I start to tug on his waist band and he hovers over me to make it easier for me to remove his pants. When they are off, he grins cheekily and slips between me and the sheets, disappearing in the material. Within seconds I feel his lips press into my bulge, kissing me softly before rolling my pants off of my hips. When I spring free, he holds my length in his hand and takes me into his mouth, roughly sucking so that I am clawing at the blankets._

 

_"Shit, Lou."_

 

_He doesn't stop and I turn my head to the side, pulling a pillow to my mouth to stifle the screams. I feel my climax building and too soon, it's gone. I release into his mouth and he swallows it all before returning to my chest, kissing my shoulder and neck. I want more of him. I love when he sucks me hard like that. The pleasure and emotion are just uncontrollable, and frankly, unexplainable. Before I can regain my thoughts, he turns me onto my side, facing away from him and reaches onto the floor behind him. He comes back to me and I hear a package ripping. A few seconds later, I feel his tip, covered with a lubricated condom, begging for entrance. I pull one leg forward slightly, making it easier for him to thrust into me, which he does, slowly and carefully while stroking my hair. He kisses the back of my neck and I feel his warm breath by my ear._

 

_"Harry, you feel so good."_

 

_He starts to moan as he picks up speed, thrusting in and out with more ease than the first few_

_times. It wasn't even really hurt anymore; we do it so often. I know that when I give it to him, he still cringes in pain because it's not typical for me to top. I like it this way though. I find it so sexy when he's inside me and him feeling that good is all I need. After a few minutes, he speeds up even more and my mouth drops, light moans escaping. His are louder and more like high screams but he buries his face in my back to muffle them. A few seconds later, he slows down and eventually stops, obviously finished. When he pulls out, I turn to face him and kiss his forehead and cheeks as we both catch our breath and he removes the condom, throwing it into the bin next to my desk._

 

_"I love you, Lou."_

 

_"And I love you, Hazz."_

 

_I kiss him and lay on his chest, thinking over and over how I should make him go back into the other room, but way to exhausted to enforce it. We both fall asleep in each others arms._

 

 

_********************_

 

 

_"Morning, Har- oh!"_

 

_I open my eyes just in time to see my mum gasp, noticing Louis. I look at her with fear on my face and she turns and closes the door behind her before I can say anything. I shake Louis awake, who's chest I was still laying on, and tell him what happened. We get out of bed and put on some clothes before leaving my room. I'm terrified, but I know that if I make up an excuse now, it will break her heart when she really finds out. We have no choice. We walk into the_

_kitchen to find her leaning against the counter, her eyes still widened in shock._

 

_"Mum, I- We-"_

 

_I don't really know how to say it, so Louis kindly steps in, placing his hand on her shoulder._

 

_"We're in love."_

 

_She looks at Louis and then back at me, not really sure if he's joking._

 

_"You're serious, aren't you?"_

 

_"Yeah, mum. I'm sorr-"_

 

_"No! Don't apologize, sweetheart! I just wish you could have told me sooner. I- I thought it could_

_be a possibility. I always saw how you two acted around each other. It's just a bit shocking."_

 

_"So you aren't mad?"_

 

_"Mad? Of course not! I love Louis and Harry, I love you. No matter what."_

 

_I walk over and hug them both, so happy to be exactly where I am._

 

_"We love you too, mum."_

 

_That was Louis._

 

 

**PRESENT DAY:**

 

I had stopped trying to pleasure myself half way through and started to cry instead, the water hitting my head and flowing down my face to join my tears. I shut the water off and step out of the shower, throwing a towel around my waist and walking out of the bathroom. I grab my phone off of the counter and dial his number.

 

"Lou, I'm so sorry. This is all my fault. I shouldn't have come and I ruined it, and-"

 

"Shhh, Hazz. Babe, stop crying. It's okay."

 

"It's not. I miss you so much."

 

I hear him sniffle and clear his throat before speaking again.

 

"I miss you most."


	15. Chapter 15

**LOUIS' P.O.V.**

 

Eleanor and I just arrived in London and the swarms around us are still asking about Harry. We have done exactly as we were told by management: taking long walks on the beach, going out for romantic dinners, 'staying in bed' all day. The public should be convinced by now if Modest's plan was going to work. We all knew it wouldn't, but I try not to think about it too much. Once we are in the car, I let my mind wander to Harry.

 

I can't wait to see him. Sure, I've been depressed this entire month, but nothing compared to Harry. I just want to hold him and listen to him talk about his terrible weeks in London alone while I play with his hair. We are just never away from each other this long. It's too much for both of us, but especially for him. He's fragile; emotional. I try to map out in my head the safest way to get to his flat and really can't wait until he's back at mine more permanently again. I pull out my phone and call him.

 

"Lou? Did you guys land?"

 

"Yep! We're back in good ole' London-town. Where are you?"

 

"I'm at some fashion event. It's... It's awful."

 

He sounds exhausted and miserable.

 

"When will you be home?"

 

"I can't leave until ten tonight and then I'm supposed to be out on the town."

 

His monotone makes me sad, but going against management's directions at this point makes the past month pointless.

 

"Call me as soon as you're free."

 

"Freedom isn't really an option, but I'll let you know when you can sneak over."

 

He seems irritated and I know it isn't at me. I just hate when he's grumpy.

 

"Alright. Hey, Harry?"

 

"Yeah?"

 

He yawns as he answers.

 

"I love you."

 

"I love you. I really can't wait to see you. Sorry I'm being a bitch."

 

"It's alright. I know you just miss me."

 

"Won't even argue that one."

 

We say our goodbyes and I turn to Eleanor.

 

"Is he alright?"

 

"Not really, but you know Harry. He'll be back to normal in no time."

 

"Yeah, as soon as he sees you!"

 

She playfully hits my shoulder and I blush, knowing she's right. I don't like when Harry is upset, but it is nice to be the one to pick him back up. It reassures me that I make him happy. When we stop at my flat, I get out and the driver takes my luggage out of the trunk.

 

"Well, Ellie, I'm sure I'll see you in the next couple days since the rumors haven't passed. So, enjoy your little time away from me."

 

She laughs and rolls her eyes. There's no need for good-byes so I pull my luggage inside as they drive away. When I walk in, I feel at least some relief. I can tell that Harry's been here while I was gone because it's cleaner than I left it and there's a vase of flowers with a note. I drop my bags at the door and walk over to the counter, carefully pulling the note away from the stem it is attached to.

 

_*Boo,_

_I've been here way too much and it's only making me sadder. Might have stolen some of your clothes that smell like you. Don't judge. Can't wait to see you._

_Love, Hazz*_

 

Leave it to Harry to write an entirely unromantic note and somehow make it romantic. Maybe I'm biased. I walk to the kitchen and open the fridge. Sure enough, he stocked it with all of my favorites. I know he feels like everything is his fault, but it isn't. However, I can't complain about his making up for it. I pull out a beer and open it, pouring it's contents into an extremely cold glass that has been in the freezer for at least a month. I sit on the couch and sip it slowly, feeling the need to relax after my stressful 'vacation'. It's exhausting pretending to be in love with Eleanor all the time. She's great and all, but being cutesy and sweet with her is a little repulsive and makes me miss Harry. I need a good long time to recover from that trip. When I finish the beer, I set the glass on the ottoman and kick my shoes off, laying down on the couch and pulling the decorative pillow to my chest. Within a minute, I'm fast asleep.

 

 

******************

 

 

**HARRY'S P.O.V.**

 

"Harry! Oh, it's so good to see you!"

 

Some new person I've never met walks up to me every minute, acting like they've known me for

ages, hugging me and asking how I've been. I hate fashion shows. I hate social events in general. Well, any that Louis isn't at, which is most. We are meant to make it seem as though we are completely different people, into completely different things and it irritates me to no end. I escape from the annoying socialites and designers and walk to the back of the building and meet the guy I called an hour ago. He's on the guest list and does this sort of thing all the time. He's a sort of dealer, I suppose. He makes it easy for guys like me to get drugs without everyone finding out about it. It goes through a long line of trust-worthy (by someone's standards, at least) people before it even reaches him. It's impossible for someone to trace it to me when it's transferred by a hand shake. I pay him a lot at the beginning so that money isn't an issue. It never is with the crowd he supplies to.

 

"Harry! How are you, mate?"

 

"Alright, how about you."

 

He winks and shakes my hand as we pretend to carry on a conversation. When I slip my hand into my pocket, I release the bag he handed me and continue to gesture so as to not bring any attention to myself. People pick up on everything. As we say goodbye, he pulls me into a tight hug and whispers lightly in my ear.

 

"That's some really good stuff. Enjoy."

 

I nod and walk away, immediately entering the bathroom. Once the door is closed, I sink to the floor behind it, burying my face in my hands. I've gotten multiple emails from Modest, reminding me to steer clear of Louis and the general vicinity of his flat. Surely, he's going to get similar ones. All I want in the entire world right now is to be in his presence; really, in his arms. Why is that so god-damn much? I pull the small clear bag out of my pocket and stare at it. The week after he left, I started to get coke from the guy I just met up with. I thought about weed, but I needed to be up and energetic. When it first started, I went to France. I knew it was a problem; one only Louis could solve, but I never even got the chance to tell him. Even before we left France, I started using again. Cara's too dumb to notice; she just thinks I've been drinking. I just need that distraction. I need to feel alive when Louis isn't by my side. If Modest is going to keep him from me, then I'll show them the result. Maybe they'll finally realize that I can't be without him. Knowing that he is so near but impossible to reach makes the pain much stronger and I open the bag, careful not to spill anything. I double-check that the door is locked and walk over to the marble counter. I pour out as much as I'll need and zip the bag tightly again. I take a credit card out of my wallet and line up the powder neatly in a thin line. I lean over and press one nostril to the counter, holding the other as I roughly snort every last bit.

 

Within seconds, I taste the bitterness in the back of my throat and start to feel dizzy. I close my eyes and shake away the feeling. As it starts to sink in, my body relaxes and I feel a sort of relief. I wipe the counter with the towel and put the bag back in my pocket, leaving the bathroom feeling much better than I did walking in. I find Cara and immediately give her a convincing kiss on the cheek. I know I look cocky and arrogant, but that's what Modest wants, so I'll give it to them and then, when I break, the blame will be on them.

 

 

*****************

 

 

**LOUIS' P.O.V.**

 

I wake up to constant buzzing in my pocket and pull out my phone. I have a missed call from Harry and several emails from Modest. I check the emails, realizing they are reminders to stay away from Harry which I scoff at and move on. I realize that it's midnight and call Harry back.

 

"Hello?"

 

"Hey, I'm sorry. I fell asleep on the couch. Are you at home now?"

 

"No, I'm still out."

 

Oh. He doesn't explain any more, but seems disappointed.

 

"Can you not come by tonight?"

 

"I don't know I can, Lou. I'm scared they'll make it worse for us."

 

I know he's right, but the thought of not seeing him another night makes tears well up, making

my vision blurred.

 

"Okay. I just- I miss you."

 

"Dammit. You have no idea. I miss you so much."

 

He doesn't sound right. He seems like he's drinking, perhaps?

 

"Are you okay, Harry?"

 

"Yeah- I'm- It's just hard to hear over the noise. I want to see you, Lou."

 

He isn't making any sense. He says one thing and then switches it around a minute later.

 

"Well, you're right. They'll kill us."

 

"Well, hopefully tomorrow. I gotta go. I love you."

 

"Yeah, I love you, too."

 

When I hang up, I can't push away my disappointment. I know it's not his fault, but I'm hurt that he isn't trying to find a way over here. I want to be with him so bad. Tears gush down my face, leaving me a complete mess. I walk into the bedroom and through the bathroom door. I turn the shower on and remove my clothes to step in. I just want to take a shower and go back to bed. I wash my hair and body, letting the warm water run over me for a while after I'm done. I step out and dry myself off, slipping on a pair of loose boxers. When I walk into the restroom to hang my towel, I hear something in the living room. My heart starts to beat quickly and I'm suddenly wide awake again. Who's in my flat? I open my room door slowly, just enough to see out and there, locking the door behind him, is Harry. I throw the door open and run to him, arms open wide. When I reach him, I push him against the door, kissing him over and over on his lips and neck. He forces a grin and pulls me into his chest, holding me tight as I hear him sniffle a few times.

 

"Don't ever leave again."

 

"I won't, I promise."


	16. Chapter 16

**HARRY’S P.O.V.**

I feel my high fade instantly when Louis is in my arms, but I don’t feel right. I feel depressed. He kisses me again and it makes me happy to know that he’s here, but I don’t feel the pleasure I normally do from his body against mine. I feel sad and exhausted. I pull away from Louis and speak softly into his ear.

“I’ll be right back.”

I kiss his forehead and walk into the small bathroom across from his room. I hear him cross the flat and walk into his room, leaving the door open. I pull out the small bag from my pocket once again, needing some energy and feeling. I want Louis, but I want to feel the best that I can at the same time. I know it’s becoming an issue, but I don’t feel whole without the white powder. I pour out a small amount on the counter, pulling the credit card out of my back pocket to create a neat line. I bring my face to the counter, pressing against one nostril as I snort every last bit of powder. The feeling gives me an instant feeling of relief, which honestly scares me. I run my finger across the counter, picking up any remnants and rubbing it into my gums. I close the bag and make sure there are no traces of it left on the counter. I put the bag deep into my back pocket and replace the credit card with it. Before I leave, I flush the toilet and wash my hands to make my visit to the bathroom unsuspicious. When I walk into the bedroom, Louis is laying on top of the bed, still only in his boxers, his arm outstretched for me to join him.

“Come cuddle, Hazz.”

I pull my shirt over my head, looking straight at him as I feel my body start to tingle, the cocaine sinking into my system. I kick my shoes off and quickly remove my pants along with my boxers. Louis’ eyes shoot open, obviously shocked by my brazen actions. I walk over to the bed and crawl toward him, needing to feel him against me. My senses are heightened and I’m restless. I need him now. I lay on top of him, holding him down so that he can’t move. I roughly press my lips into his, biting down as I pull away as he moans, wanting more. I can’t wait any longer and for some reason, I have no desire to be submissive like usual. If I top, it’s for his pleasure, but right now, I want it more than anything. I pull myself off of him, flipping him over roughly so that he’s laying on his stomach. Before he can even realize what is going on, I yank his boxers down to his ankles, leaving them there. I can’t think of anything but fucking him. Hard. I balanced myself above him and he started to hesitate, trying to flip back around but I pressed my palm against his back, holding him down.

“Harry, what are you-“

He stops talking as I push myself into him sharply and he cries out in pain. I start to thrust in and out of him, unable to stop myself; it feels so good. I know that he must be hurting, but for some reason I have lost control of my movement. Actually for a very well-known reason. _Coke_. 

“Harry! Please-“

I moan loudly as he screams. I know I won’t last much longer.

 

**LOUIS’ P.O.V.**

I can’t breathe. I feel like my body is going to fall apart. I continue to plea with him, but I can’t seem to finish a complete thought in words. From the moment he climbed onto me, I could see the hunger in his eyes. Actually, they were completely black; dilated. He’s not acting like himself and I honestly feel scared. We’ve never had sex like this. We’ve always had a sense of romanticism, even when it’s rough.

“Stop! Harry, sto-“

I gasp for air but find none. He holds my hands above my head and I feel his thrusts become sloppy. Within moments, he grits his teeth against my neck and thrusts one last time, releasing into me. Tears are streaming down my face as he rolls off of me and lays there next to me. I stay exactly where I am, unable to move at all. I feel the sobs coming from my throat before they actually escape and I can’t stop them once they do. I crawl between the sheets and bury my face into

“Lou! I’m so sorry. I- are you crying? Shit.”

He tries to wrap his arm around me but I push it away.

“What has gotten into you, Harry?!”

My voice is shaky but I’m able to finally speak. My body pulsates in immense pain.

“I- I don’t know. Lou, I couldn’t control it. I’ve never felt like that before. I don’t- I’m so sorry.”

He starts to cry once he really realizes what he’s done, trying once again to hug me.

“Don’t touch me!”

He looks shocked and tears continue to roll down his cheeks.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you! I can’t believe I did that. You have to believe me.”

I can tell he isn’t lying, but what on earth could make him so insensitive to me all the sudden.

“Just get out, Harry!”

“Louis, please. I don’t want to leave. I miss y-“

“LEAVE, NOW!”

I feel anger burning in my chest. He has no right to fight with me on this after what he just did. He ignores me and leans down, kissing my forehead softly, tears dropping onto my face. I want my Harry back; the one who would never hurt me. The Harry who was sensitive and caring; not the monster who just forced himself on me. I push him away, turning my body away from him, warning him one last time.

“Get the fuck out, Harry. I can’t even look at you right now.”

“Louis, don’t be like this.”

“Like what!? Hurt? Upset? Angry? I have the god-damn right to be all of those! Just leave me alone and let me know when the Harry I love is back!”

“I’m right here, Lou! I said I was sorry! I don’t know what else you want from me.”

I feel the anger building even more until I literally scream at the top of my voice.

“GET. OUT. NOW!”

“Fine!”

He angrily stands up and I stay facing the other direction. Within a few minutes, I hear the front door slam shut. I continue to cry, curled up into a ball in my bed. I can’t help but to wonder what is wrong with him. He isn’t himself and there has to be an explanation. Even though I know I shouldn’t care, I want some sort of reason as to why he just acted like a maniac. I reach over to the nightstand and feel around for my phone. Once I find it, I stare at the screen, wondering who the hell I can call. I scroll through my contacts and stop at E.

“He-Hello?”

“Ellie?”

“Lou? It’s like three o’clock in the morning; what’s wrong?”

“I really need a friend right now.”

I try to hold back my tears long enough to finish our phone conversation, but I can’t.

“Are you okay? I’m getting up. I’ll be there soon.”


	17. Chapter 17

**HARRY’S P.O.V.**

My eyes shoot open when I hear the door open, the light flooding in making my head pound and eyes close involuntarily. I can’t see who’s standing in the doorway and turn my head to the side to let my eyes adjust to the brightness. Cara is there. In my bed. The last thing I remember is coming home and her being here because Modest told her to be. I was crying and we drank and then I fell asleep. _Right?_

“What the fuck, Harry?”

It’s Louis in the doorway. My brain is foggy and I can’t get words out. What is even going on? Cara jumps at his yelling and she sits up quickly, pulling the sheets over her body. _Her naked body_. What the fuck did I do last night?

“Lou?”

“I can’t even fucking believe you. Last night and then THIS? What the hell is wrong with you?”

My head is spinning. I am so confused. What the hell did I do?

“I- I don’t even know what happened. Cara was just-“

“I think I should go.”

Louis points at her and yells again.

“You stay right where you fucking are.”

She looks terrified but complies, sitting there silently, awaiting his next instruction.

“Cara, what happened last night? Since Harry _apparently_ doesn’t remember.”

He rolls his eyes at me and places his hands on his hips, waiting for her explanation.

“I- Well, he got back late and was crying. Like, really crying. I was pretty drunk from the club before, but we started drinking and… kept drinking. We were so wasted-“

No, please. God, no.

“Get on with the fucking story.”

Louis is getting impatient and obviously doesn’t want details. I don’t either. I cringe to think about what could have possibly happened.

“Um, we were just talking and I don’t know-“

Shit. No, I couldn’t have. My lack of clothing begs to differ, but there is no way I did that.

“...it was my fault, honestly. He tried to push me away but something took over and I just kissed him. I don’t remember everything, but we obviously...“

She trailed off and looked down at her bare body and then over to mine. She was on the verge of tears, but I beat her to it. I cover my face to hide in shame. I can’t believe I did that. Why would I mix cocaine and alcohol in the first place? Oh, yeah; because I practically raped the love of my life and still hate myself for it. Now, I’ve fucked it up even more. When I pull my hands down, Louis is standing there, jaw opened in shock. He’s speechless and frankly I am too. I wish Cara was.

“I’m so sorry! I don’t know what’s wrong with me! I couldn’t help myself. It was so stu-“

“CAN YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP?”

Louis finally snaps, yelling ten times louder than before. She shrinks back in fear and starts to slip out of the sheets, glancing at him to see if he would let her leave. He shrugs her off and plops onto the edge of the bed as she slips on the dress she wore last night and leaves the apartment without saying another word. When she’s gone, he doesn’t look at me. He looks sad, angry, shocked, hurt: all of the things I could never dream of causing him to be. And I did. It’s all my fault, despite what Cara says. Who cares who initiated it; I should have stopped it.

“Louis-“

“Don’t talk.”

“I’m sor-“

“WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST SAY?”

His red, blood-shot eyes glare at me, full of pain and heartbreak, as he roars at me loudly. I shut my mouth quickly, not wanting to anger him more. He stares out my window in silence for a while before speaking calmly.

“Harry, I don’t know what happened to you these past few weeks, but you are not yourself. I don’t even know what to say. You have betrayed me in two of the worst ways possible. To think that you hurt me the way you did physically and then came here and decided to push it further-“

He can’t utter more words and tears start to flow from his eyes. I sit up and scoot toward him, sheets still covering me. I put my arms out to pull him close to me, but he stands up quickly, slapping me across the face out of nowhere. I did not expect that, but I sure as hell deserved it. My hand immediately finds my cheek and rubs it to soothe the red mark I know is there. 

“You have completely broken my trust. We’ve both done a lot of stupid shit in the past three years, but that’s just it, Harry. Three fucking years and now I feel like I don’t know you. You aren’t the man I fell in love with. I don’t know what the hell you’ve done to him, but he’s obviously gone-“

I can tell he wants to say more but he covers his mouth with his palm and silently lets tears fall from his eyes. I instinctively move closer to him, wanting to comfort him in any way possible, but he backs away toward the door. 

“Don’t follow me, Harry. I need to think.”

He stopped in the doorway, hand resting on the doorknob, and looked at me once more.

“I don’t think I can ever look at you the same. You’ve broken my heart.”

He leaves and shuts the door behind him. I start to get up and chase after him, but I know he is too angry to convince of my sorrow. I sit back down and cry silently to myself. My body starts to shake and I feel so angry at myself. I bang my fists against the headboard of my bed, yelling loudly, trying to relieve a portion of my fury. I wear myself out after punching the wood repeatedly until I collapse back onto my bed, sobbing uncontrollably.

 

**LOUIS’ P.O.V.**

As I storm out of Harry’s flat, I can’t decide which feeling is more powerful; pain or anger. I know that the last 12 hours would have never happened had Harry been in his right mind. Something is going on with him and I’m not so sure what. He didn’t seem drunk at my apartment, but something was definitely off. Despite everything, he still cheated on me. I can’t make excuses for him. I walk over to the car that is waiting for me on the curb. I get into the backseat with Eleanor and the driver starts to pull back onto the road.

“Just go back to my place.”

I stare out the window, trying to avoid talking to Eleanor about what just happened.

“Lou, are you alright?”

“No.”

My face contorts into sadness once again and I start to cry. Eleanor scoots over to the middle seat and wraps her arms around me comfortingly.

“Talk to me, Louis. It’s okay.”

“He cheated on me.”

I can’t get much more out between sobs so I don’t even try.

“With Cara? I saw her leave in tears.”

I nod instead of answering aloud. I just want to get home and go to sleep. Try to, at least. I’m so glad Eleanor is with me. She’s been with us through it all so she’s really the only person that can help. The guys are great, but I don’t want to bother them with relationship issues. Our being together already puts them in terrible situations all the time. When the driver pulls up to my flat, we exit the car and hurry to the door. Once inside, I collapse on the couch and pull a nearby pillow to my chest.

“I’m going to make you something to eat, alright?”

I don’t say anything so she walks into the kitchen and searches for food. I decide to go change into something comfortable and sulk all the way to my room. I walk over to the dresser and open the drawer, pulling out sweats. As I close the drawer, I notice something small on the ground, partially under the dresser. I lean down and pick up the tiny plastic bag and examine it. It’s halfway full with white powder. I open the bag and smell a faint scent that I can’t put my finger on, but I can take a guess at what it is. And _who’s_ it is. Everything starts to piece together in my mind and I fall from my crouch onto the floor, sitting in shocked silence. My whole world has fallen apart in a matter of a day. I try to stay angry, but now I’m more worried about Harry than anything else.


	18. Chapter 18

**HARRY’S P.O.V.**

I need some sort of release from my misery. Today has already been dreadful and it’s only noon. I haven’t left my bed once since Louis left. I can’t get him off my mind and I know that trying is futile, as is sleep. Each time I close my eyes, I see him telling me over and over that he can never look at me the same way. It breaks my heart to know that he thinks differently of me, not that I can expect any less. I looked at my phone once to find calls and texts from Cara. I don’t want to talk to her right now. I know all I’m going to hear are apologies and I could care less right now. I know that I shouldn’t be mad at her, but I am. She knew what was going on more than I did. Either way, she’s the last person I want to talk to. Who can I talk to, though? Liam will lecture me, Niall won’t have any good advice besides “giving it time”, and Zayn will zone out as I talk. I would call Gemma, but she’ll only worry, which also rules out my mum. It would be a bit awkward to talk to them about the situation anyway, given the amount of sexual involvement. Ed or Eleanor are my best options. Seeing as Eleanor is the one person that knows Louis and I both so much, I decide to call her first. 

Before I call anyone, I need my fix. I keep sweating profusely, but shaking every time I remove the sheets from my body. I can’t seem to win. I know that my system is just reacting negatively from the lack of chemicals it has become so accustomed to. I quickly find the pants I was wearing last night on the floor near in the hallway and search the pockets for my small supply. I start to become frantic when it isn’t there. I look around on the floor where my pants are, but it is nowhere to be found. I search the kitchen and living room, considering that it could have fallen out or been put on the counter. I don’t see it anywhere. I grab my phone and reluctantly call Cara.

“Harry, thank god. I’m so so sorr-“

“Cara, I don’t want to talk about it right now. I just need to know if you saw a small bag of cocaine at any point last night.”

“Cocaine?”

“Did you see it?”

I’m becoming aggravated with her stupidity.

“No, I didn’t. I remember you saying something was gone and you seemed concerned, but you never mentioned it again.”

 _Shit._ It must be at Louis’. I had to have dropped it there. I run my hand through my hair and pull on it slightly, wondering what the hell I’m going to do.

“Alright, bye.”

I hang up before she can add anything else. What if Louis finds it? He’ll be so upset; as if I need to give him another reason to feel that way. How could I be so fucking careless? I feel dizzy and irritable. I know exactly what will make those feelings go away, but I don’t have any. I look back at my phone and decide to call Eleanor before I call my dealer, Kevin, for more. Eleanor needs to go to Louis’ flat and get the cocaine before he finds it. My hands shake as I find her contact information and my heart aches as the phone rings. I’m scared to tell her about everything I’ve done, but I need to talk to someone and she’s the only one who can help.

“Harry?”

“El, I’ve done some really terrible things-“

She cuts me off abruptly, her voice booming into my ear.

“You’re god-damned right you did. I don’t even know what to say to you, Harry. Louis just fell asleep, but he has been crying all day. Not only is he hurt and angry, but now he’s fucking worried about you! How did you accomplish all of that in one day? Really, Harry? Cocaine? How stupid can you be?”

“He knows? Louis found the bag?”

“Yes, Harry. It was a lovely addition to an even more wonderful morning. Have you any other exciting surprises to lay on him or were you just calling to make sure the other blows hit him hard enough?”

Her words are hurtful, but I know I deserve every last one. They are the same things that I have been telling myself all day.

“Eleanor, I already know I’m a worthless piece of shit, okay? I was going to ask you to get the bag out of there before he found-“

“Oh, so it’s better because you didn’t want him to know. Okay. You know, Harry, he wasn’t in France with me having a great time. He was just as miserable as you and spent every waking moment talking about how much he missed you. He was worried about you being depressed, but obviously not as worried as he should have been. You really need to get your shit together.”

I don’t even know what to say. I called her to make myself feel better, but I honestly feel worse. Hearing how miserable Louis is makes me hate myself even more. I’ve really fucked up- more than ever before. I don’t know how I can turn this all around. If I never have Louis again, life just isn’t worth living.

“I know, El. I’m going to. Just- just tell him that I love him, please.”

“Not yet, Harry. Don’t try to contact him either. He’s too hurt right now; don’t make it worse.”

She hangs up and I stand there, completely dumb-founded. How have I ruined my life in less than 24 hours. Louis is my whole world and I’ve hurt him in so many ways. Even if he forgives me someday, I know I will never forgive myself. Either way, I’ll die without him. I have to start fixing things and the first step is to stay away from drugs. He’ll never consider forgiving me if I’m still snorting coke. I walk back into my room and collapse face first onto my bed. I need to sleep; it’s the only way I can shut my mind off.

_DREAM:_

_I’m at Louis’ flat, standing nervously at his front door. I decide to walk in like I always do instead of knocking and all of the lights are off. I walk through the familiar living room toward his door. I just need to see him, talk to him, hold him. I can’t be without him anymore. As I approach his bedroom door, I hear soft noises, grunts._

_“Lou, oh, it feels so good.”_

_It’s Eleanor. I open the door roughly, revealing myself, but neither of them looks at me._

_“Hey! Stop!”_

_I yell, but neither of them listens. They can’t hear me or see me. Louis is hovered over her, thrusting in and out, moaning loudly in pleasure._

_“El! Oh, god. Why didn’t we do this sooner? I’ve never felt this good.”_

_I stand there, physically unable to move my legs or close my eyes. He leans down and kisses her softly, sending ripples of pain through my heart. His eyes are closed and he slows down the movement of his hips. He seems to be enjoying himself, panting into her neck and sucking softly on her skin, making her cry out. He pauses his thrusts and brings one hand to her forehead, brushing aside some stray hairs, just like he does to me. I start to cry, yelling at the two people that don’t even know I’m there._

_“Louis! Please, I know i hurt you. I’m sorry! Please, stop!”_

_I sob uncontrollably as he picks up speed again, moaning her name loudly. Her back arches and she shuts her eyes tightly as they both groan loudly, climaxing together and repeatedly screaming each others’ names. After a couple painful minutes, Louis collapses next to her and pulls her into his arms. He plays with her hair and quietly talks to her._

_“I love you, El. Harry never made me as happy as you do. I don’t know why I wasted so many years with him, when you were here all along.”_

I wake up abruptly, shaking and covered in sweat. I push the covers off of me and lay there. My body starts to convulse and shake uncontrollably as I pant, trying to get some air. It feels impossible to breathe and I notice that I’m crying. I try to sit up, but find it impossible. I have never felt so helpless in my life. I don’t know what to do. My mind immediately races to that addicting white powder, but I start to shake my head. No, I can’t do that. I feel like a crazy person, shaking, sweating, crying, and unable to control myself. I feel uneasy and out of place. I close my eyes once again, but all I see is Louis crying and yelling. I know how he feels now. I saw him do to Eleanor what I did to Cara. It hurts my heart so badly, and it didn’t even happen. To think of how heart broken Louis is makes me feel like dying. He will never forgive me. _Ever._

I give in and reach for my phone, quickly finding Kevin’s number. It takes a bit to connect and I put it on speaker.

“The number you have dialed has been disconnected. If you feel you have reached this message in error, hang up and check the number again.”


	19. Chapter 19

**HARRY’S P.O.V.**

_Disconnected?_ Surely, that means something is wrong. I pace the floor, wondering if there is any other way I can contact him, but there isn’t; that’s what makes his set up so foolproof. I toss my phone on the ground and sit on my bed in anguish, wiping some of the sweat off of my face. I feel uncomfortable; out of my element. I find my phone and shakily call Ed.

“Hey?”

“Ed. A-are you busy?”

“Not really, no. Wanna go out?”

“No,” I scoffed, thinking of how horrible it would feel to leave my flat, “can you come here though? It’s sort of an emergency.”

“Uh, sure. I’ll head over soon.”

I hang up the phone and curl into a ball, clutching my knees tightly to my chest.

 

**LOUIS’ P.O.V.**

I wake up feeling at least a little better than I had this morning. I sit up in the empty room and rub my eyes. I hear the TV on in the living room, so I know Eleanor is still here. I’m really thankful that she came; I don’t care to think how I would have reacted had she left me on my own. I sit up in bed and scoot my back to the headboard. I think about Harry immediately; by now, he probably feels like shit. From what Kevin said, he’s been using Cocaine almost the whole time I was in France. Not occasionally, either. On a regular basis. No matter how upset I am, I really wish I could hold him in my arms while his body goes through such an awful process. Withdrawals can feel like death, and I’ve only experienced it on a minimal scale with alcohol. To think that he is shaking in pain and discomfort causes my eyes to water. Despite anything he can possibly do to me; I only love him. I don’t want to; I want to say that he deserves what he’s going through and even if that’s true, I would prefer to experience it myself instead of him having to deal with it. Perhaps that’s my problem; I love him too much.

Either way, he won’t be getting any more drugs. Everyone in our circle knows who Kevin is, and I had his number from buying pot about a year back. This morning I called him, and after a little bargaining, I ended up paying him half a million dollars to skip town. He deactivated his phone and is hopefully half-way to god-knows-where. He knows the consequences of coming back, so I shouldn’t have to worry about him anymore. However, I’m not an idiot. I know there are other dealers in London; I just hope Harry doesn’t get to that point. I get up and walk out of the room, instantly greeted by Eleanor’s warm smile. 

“Hello, sleepy-head. How do you feel?”

“A little better. El, thanks so much for staying.”

“Yeah, no problem.”

I hate to ask her for something after all that she’s done for us, but I feel that I have no choice.

“Could you, maybe, stop by and check on Harry?”

“Lou! He’s going to be okay. I know you’re worried about him, but seriously, you’ve done everything you can to protect him.”

“I… I just want to know how he’s doing. I can’t go over there myself! He’ll think I’ve forgiven him.”

“I’m afraid you really have.”

She’s probably right. I don’t want to, but I can’t even be angry with him now that I’m worried. I want to be. I want to yell at him some more, but what the hell would that accomplish? No matter how I feel, I can’t go over there. He needs to figure things out if we ever have a chance at being happy again. My heart aches when I think back to being happy.

_Flashback:_

_I walk over with the paint roller and press it against the wall, spreading the red paint across the walls. Harry is on a ladder, cutting in the top, where the wall meets the ceiling._

_“You know, we really should have gotten Zayn to do this part, Lou. I’m shit with a paintbrush.”_

_“You’re doing fine, love. Where would the fun be in having Zayn help? It’s our little project!”_

_He steps down from the ladder to get more paint, sitting on the floor to take a break and observe what we have accomplished. It’s almost complete; we’re on the last wall. I walk over and sit next to him, putting the paint roller in the pan._

_“Thanks for helping, Harry.”_

_“I feel like it’s practically my place too, seeing as I’m always over here.”_

_He rolls his eyes and acts like he doesn’t want to be. I lean over and kiss him on the cheek, making him blush._

_“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”_

_He looks over and grins, “Me either.”_

_I lay back and stare at the ceiling, but he soon joins me, playfully nibbling on my ear._

_“Harry, we’ll never get done if you…”_

_My voice trails off as his hand reaches down and strokes me lightly down there. I breathe deeply and lean into him, kissing him gently at first. Our bodies begin to move together and the kiss becomes more desperate and full of desire. I can feel him smile against me and I start to tug on his shirt. He lifts up his arms and I pull it over his head, tossing it aside, hoping it doesn’t land in paint, except that the entire sheet placed on the floor is covered in paint. Harry doesn’t seem to care, pressing his toned chest against me and grinding his hips to meet mine. He pulls away and walks into my room. While he’s gone, i pull my shirt off, collapsing back on the floor. He returns with a small bottle of lube and hovers over me once again, kissing me deeply. The feeling of his warm chest against mine sends shivers through my body and I claw at his back, pulling him closer to me. I start to roll us over but he holds me in place, trailing kisses down my chest and stomach, stopping at my pants. He holds my stare as he unbuttons them at a painstakingly slow pace, finally ripping them off and leaving them by my feet. He flips me around so that I’m laying on my stomach, panting for breath, completely aroused. I hear him take the bottle in his hand and pour out some of it’s contents. I wait impatiently for him to touch me again and I’m not disappointed when he does. His fingers hook onto the band of my boxers, yanking them harshly down to my knees, leaving them there. He pushes himself against my body and I claw at the sheet underneath me as he holds onto my shoulders and slowly fills me completely. My mouth opens and small whimpers escape and he kisses the back of my neck in comfort. I calm my body as he starts to thrust in and out, slowly at first but falling into a comfortable rhythm soon after. His lips find my ear and he hisses sensually into it._

_“I love you so much.”_

_I try to return the sentiment, but all that falls from my lips are moans and screams of delight. He holds onto my hair and buries his face in my neck, eventually turning my face so that he can find my lips with his. I feel his pace quicken as he tugs on my hair and eventually he becomes sloppy, slowing down. When he is finished he pulls out and flips me around before I can realize what is going on. He pulls my legs apart and buries his face between them, looking up at me as he takes me into his mouth. I moan loudly, unable to contain the ecstasy I’m feeling. My hips buck up, completely filling his mouth and he swirls his tongue around over me. Within a couple minutes, I find my release as I hold onto a patch of his hair tightly. My eyesight is blurred and I feel dizzy as Harry lays next to me, pulling my body to him. He rests his forehead against mine and then kisses the tip of my nose lovingly._

_“I love you, Harry.”_

_Present Day:_

Tears fill my eyes as I think about how things were and I fear that they will never be the same. We were so happy and carefree, but time and stress has ruined us slowly, making our relationship out to be something painful. We’ve become bad for each other; my being gone sending Harry into a frenzy and his doing so plummeting me into depression. My love for him is ruining every other aspect of my life. I haven’t had the chance to even tell my mum I’m back from France, much less plan to see her. Harry has become my whole life; my everything. How could he do such awful things to me?


	20. Chapter 20

**HARRY’S P.O.V.**

“Here, this will help.”

Ed hands me a glass of scotch and places a bottled water on my nightstand. I sit up and my shaky hand raises the glass to my lips, pouring the burning liquid down my throat. My eyes shut and I get chills from the taste. I chug the rest and lay back, my head spinning even more.

“H-h-how does this help?”

I’m still shaking and sweating, my disoriented feeling getting worse every minute. Ed has been here for 30 minutes and I’ve managed to get out the gist of all the shit I pulled. He isn’t even close to Louis and he’s disappointed in me. He’s trying to help me out, but I can tell he’s in disbelief. I just need to make it through withdrawal and then I can focus on patching up my life. I don’t even know where I’ll begin, but I can’t think straight right now. I have finally stopped vomiting, but it hasn’t gotten much better.

“Harry, just try to sleep. Let that sink in and just doze off.”

I nod my head and close my eyes. Within a few seconds I feel the liquor settle in my empty stomach and I instantly feel drowsy. 

_The room is black; I can’t see anything and my mind is all fuzzy. Louis is laying on the bed, face down and I am forcefully thrusting in and out showing no mercy._

_“Harry, please.”_

_I have no control over my body, not even enough to stop myself from hurting Louis._

_“Harry, STOP!”_

_His cries seem to mean nothing to me, but deep down I can’t take it. I want to stop._

_“You’re hurting me!”_

_I moan loudly and finish, thrusting roughly and un-lovingly. I’m being completely selfish and it’s killing me. I’m a complete monster. Just as I lay down, Louis starts to sob._

_“Louis, don’t cry! Please.”_

_The look he gives me; It will haunt me forever. I keep seeing him sobbing and it doesn’t stop. He doesn’t say anything. He just cries, but I can’t move. I feel like an insensitive asshole, but I don’t feel worthy to hold him in my arms; to comfort him. I don’t feel worthy of looking at him._

“HARRY! Wake up!”

I feel hands grasping my shoulders, shaking me violently. I open my eyes and see Eleanor standing over me.

“You were having a nightmare. You wouldn’t stop screaming. Are you okay?”

I roll over, noticing how much I had sweat during my nap. I bury my face in my pillow and cry. I can’t see anything but the sadness and terror on Louis’ face. Eleanor pats me on the shoulder and sits on the end of the bed. When did she even get here? I eventually roll over and sit up slightly. I feel better than I did before, but the new realization of everything I had done, makes it all pointless. At least before my nap, I could only think about the physical discomfort I was feeling. Thinking about the physical and emotional pain I put on Louis makes me want to die.

“El, why are you here? How long did I sleep?”

“Well, Ed said you were sleeping for like thee hours when I showed up and that was about four hours ago.”

“I slept all day? What time is it?”

“Eight in the evening. Do you feel any better?”

“Maybe physically, but I feel like such a piece of shit.”

“Look, the past day has been awful. I think everyone can agree on that.” That doesn’t help. “But, Harry you just have to take it one problem at a time. Harry, you know he still cares for you. He made me come over here.”

She’s right. I just can’t think about anything besides how Louis is doing. All I want is for him to be laying here with me so I can cuddle up next to him and lay on his chest. I would relive the horrible feelings of withdrawal as many times as it took to have things go back to the way they were. I’m shocked that he wants me to feel better, but it’s not the same to send Eleanor. I want him. Eleanor walks to the other side of the room and speaks into her phone in a hushed voice. I lay quietly, suddenly feeling another wave of nausea so I lean over and hurl in the bucket by my bed.

 

**LOUIS’ P.O.V.**

“Yeah, he’s awake, but he’s still not doing too good.”

“Thanks for going over there.”

I hold the phone up to my ear and try to not feel sorry for Harry. Why should I? He’s done nothing but hurt me, but knowing that he’s in pain makes me feel horrible.

“It’s no problem, Lou. He’s…REALLY upset. About everything.”

Eleanor has been harshest on him through all of this, but she even seems to feel bad for him.

“I- I really want to see him.”

“Is that best th- oh, god. Harry, are you alright?”

I hear him coughing and gagging, obviously throwing up. I cringe to think of him being sick and not having me there to comfort him. 

_Flashback:_

_I look away from the TV and notice Harry stirring. He’s been miserable for days, but today has definitely been the worst. He’s been snoring the entire nap, unable to breathe through his nose. I know it’s just a flu but it makes me sad to see him so sick. His eyes flicker open and he rolls over to face me, his eyes glassy and red._

_“How’d you sleep, love?”_

_“Okay. You really should stay at your place so I don’t get you sick.”_

_“You couldn’t make me leave.”_

_He rolls his eyes and turns to grab a tissue from the nightstand, blowing his nose multiple times. He begins to sit up, but I place my hand on his shoulder._

_“Where are you going?”_

_“To get something to eat.”_

_“No, you aren’t! Lay down; I’ll get it.”_

_I stand up and walk into his kitchen before he can argue with me. I search the pantry and finally find a can of soup. I’m no cook, but he’s also not up for a full meal. I open the can and pour the contents into a pot, turning the stove on high. As the soup heats, I put on a pot of tea and wait for the kettle to whistle. After a few minutes, I pour the hot water into two mugs that already contain tea bags and fill up a bowl with the chicken noodle soup. I place all three items on a tray, along with a spoon and walk back into the bedroom. A smile stretches across his face as I approach him, placing the tray on his lap. I lean over and kiss him on the forehead, feeling how hot his skin is._

_“I’m going to go get you some more medicine.”_

_I turn around but he grabs me by the wrist._

_“Please get back in bed and have tea with me.”_

_Once he releases me, I comply, slipping into the sheets and holding the warm mug in my hand, placing the already steeped tea bag on the tray as Harry takes a spoonful of soup to his lips._

_“Thanks for taking care of me, boo. I’d have been hopeless without you.”_

_“I’m always here for you, Harry._ **_Always_ ** _. I love you.”_

_PRESENT DAY:_

“Eleanor, is he alright?”

“Not really. He seems miserable. I don’t know how to help him.”

I sigh and decide that I can’t leave him like this.

“I’m heading over El. I can’t take it anymore.”


	21. Chapter 21

**HARRY’S P.O.V.**

“…oh, god, Harry are you alright?”

I’m not; I can’t stop throwing up and my body feels empty. I haven’t been able to hear what Eleanor is saying and I don’t know who she’s speaking to, I just hope to god it isn’t management. I don’t think she’d do that. I continue to vomit, my eyes watering uncontrollably. Eleanor is still standing over me, rubbing circles on my back and talking lightly into the phone.

“Not really. He seems miserable. I don’t know how to help him.”

She pauses. I don’t know how she can help me either. She can’t. I only want Louis. Is that who she’s talking to?

“It’s okay, I can-“

She stops and tosses her phone onto my bed, obviously having been hung up on. She leans down so that she’s at eye level with me and when my eyes meet hers, her face contorts before me, becoming blurry and unusual. I scoot back into my bed, finally feeling less nauseous. I run my fingers through my hair, still unable to see straight. My eyes blink slowly as I sink into my pillow, Eleanor wrapping the blankets around me as I drift off.

******

When my eyes flutter open this time, I am still having trouble focusing. I am laying on my side and the window in front of me is splattered with rain drops. I hear clanging in the kitchen and roll over to face that direction. The double doors to the living room and kitchen area are parted slightly, just enough to see a figure standing over the sink. A very familiar figure. _Louis_.

My heart sinks in my chest and I know I’m hallucinating. I can’t see properly; maybe I’m dreaming. I decide to say something and see who enters my room. I start to speak, but my weak voice cracks and causes me to cough. I clear my throat and open my mouth to try again. Before I can say anything, I see a shadow approaching my room. I prop my limp body up against the pillows, shivering and pulling the sheets up to my bare chest. I look over to the door as one side creaks open all the way, revealing the love of my life, leaning against the door frame with his arms crossed.

“Lou?”

“How do you feel?”

“Terrible, but I’m so glad you’re here.”

He grins lightly, but quickly forces it away.

“Look, Harry. I’m here to make sure you get clean and stay that way. I’m not here to make up.”

His sad eyes shift from me to the floor, looking as though he wants to cry. My face falls from a weak smile to an ashamed stare. Of course I would love for him to forgive me and things could go back to normal, but he deserves better than that. I can’t expect things like that.

“I understand. Just know that I’m sor-,” he closes his eyes and raises a hand, wanting me to stop. “Thanks for coming, whatever the reason is.”

He nods and walks back to the kitchen, returning moments later with a plate of food. My stomach growls as he places it on my nightstand and I reach for it immediately. I’m starving.

“I went to the store; you didn’t really have any food.”

I nod my thanks, unable to focus on anything but the sandwich in front of me. Louis isn’t much of a cook, so a sandwich is to be expected. I don’t even care what it is; I shove it into my mouth as if I haven’t eaten in days. It has been a while.

“When you’re done, you should take a shower and I’ll change the… sheets.”

He points to the empty side of my bed that Cara had previously been in and sighs deeply. I agree, not knowing what else to say. I empty the plate and sit up on the edge of my bed, placing the dish on the table next to me. I breathe deeply as my legs shake, trying to force myself up. I’m extremely weak and as soon as I stand, I fall back onto the mattress. Louis walks over and puts out an arm for me to hold on to. I grip his forearm and stand once again. He wraps his arm around my waist and lifts me up to my full height, which towers over him. I look down at his face, but he refuses to return my gaze. I feel his hand tighten near my hip, but I can’t push my luck. He’s here and that should be enough for now. We walk slowly together toward the bathroom. Once we enter, I lean against the wall while Louis runs the water, ensuring a comfortable temperature. I walk over to the sink and brush my teeth, roughly scrubbing every inch of my mouth. I weakly pull my boxers down, feeling Louis’ eyes on me as I do. I kick them off completely and step into the large shower, Louis staying just outside gathering a towel for me. I gain my balance and as the water runs down my face and chest, I feel human again. 

“This feels great!”

Louis simply hums in response and after a minute of just standing under the faucet, I turn and grab the soap, lathering my body over and over. It’s been too long since I’ve showered. Once my body is mostly rinsed off, I turn and take a few steps toward the other side of the long shower to get my shampoo. Halfway across, remnants of soap on my feet meet with the slick tile on the floor and I lose my stance, falling completely onto the floor, landing on my back. I look over and can’t help but to laugh at the terrified expression on Louis’ face as he throws open the glass door and walks in fully clothed.

“Harry! Are you okay?”

I continue to laugh as he steps under the water and looks down at me, realizing that I’m okay. He holds onto the wall but his bare feet slip in the soapy water gathering beneath us and falls down as well. I reach my arms out and he falls on top of me, landing chest to chest against me. We look at each other and begin to laugh hysterically, unable to control ourselves. He looks down at his soaking shirt and we cackle some more, feeling relief from the past weekend. He doesn’t move off of me and instead places one hand on my cheek, causing us to both stop our laughter.

“Louis-“

He leans his head down and kisses me, my lips shaking from the contact. I instinctively wrap my arms around him and kiss him back, whirling my tongue around on his lips until he grants me access. I roll my hips up to meet his and fall into a spell, unable to control myself. Everything else seems unimportant besides his body and my body. I slip my hands under his shirt and roam across his back, but suddenly he pulls away, taking a deep breath as he sits up, straddling me on the shower floor. He buries his face in his hands and stands up, careful to lean against the wall, avoiding another fall. I sit up and slowly bring myself to my feet.

“Please, don’t leave, I’m sorry! I don’t know what got into me.”

“It’s my fault, too- I just; I can’t be here, Harry. It’s too much.”

He drops his hand to his side and leaves the bathroom in his sopping clothes, not bothering with a towel. I turn the water off and reach for the towel he had found, wrapping it around my hips before running after him.

“LOUIS! Don’t go! I need you!”

He turns abruptly on his heel and points a finger at my face.

“Well, guess what? I need _you_! Not this person you’ve become. I need the man I fell in love with, not the man who broke me. So, I can’t let things like that happen because I don’t want you to think that I’m okay with who you are becoming. I love Harry with all of my heart. How about you let him know if you see him?”

He leaves me speechless, slamming the door behind him as he leaves my flat. I collapse on the nearby couch and pull a pillow close to my chest, fighting the oncoming sobs.

 

**LOUIS’ P.O.V.**

It took every ounce of self-respect I had to leave that shower. I want Harry so badly, even though he’s hurt me so much. I just don’t know what has happened to him. As soon as the door closes behind me, I press my back against the wall, sincerely hoping he doesn’t follow me. I break into hard fits of tears, rubbing my eyes, wanting it to stop. I slam my fist beside me, letting it land roughly on the brick wall. I quickly pull my hand to my chest, gripping it tightly in pain. I force myself to breathe, calming myself as much as possible before pulling my phone out and pressing it against my ear.

“Hello?”

“Liam, I really need your help. Can you meet me at mine in a half hour?”


	22. Chapter 22

**LIAM’S P.O.V.**

I nervously approach Louis’ door, wondering what has been going on. I haven’t seen Louis since he got back, and frankly, I’ve hardly seen Harry since Louis left for France. The two occasions I did see him, something wasn’t right. The first time was at a radio interview that all of the lads were at, besides Louis. 

_Flashback (Three weeks earlier):_

_“Where is Harry?”_

_“I-I don’t know. He said he’d be here at eleven.”_

_“Well, it’s eleven and I don’t see him.”_

_Jason’s assistant, Michael, prances around, yelling at everyone just because Harry hasn’t made an appearance yet. I feel bad for Harry and Louis. I see every day how happy and in love they are, and for people to try to keep them apart- it’s just plain wrong. I hear commotion and turn quickly, observing a rugged-looking Harry walking through the door, beanie and sunglasses on. He slouches as he walks, plopping down on the nearby couch. He doesn’t even seem to care that everyone has been looking for him and doesn’t remove his glasses._

_“Where the hell have you been?”_

_“Michael, can you leave me the fuck alone? Thanks.”_

_I’m shocked by Harry’s behavior, because it’s simply not like him to use that language in everyday conversation and he’s typically in a great mood. I stand up and walk over, kindly pushing Michael out of the way so that I can sit next to Harry._

_“You alright, mate?”_

_“Sure.”_

_“Sure? That’s not convincing.”_

_“Liam, please-“_

_He stands up and raises his hand, as if he were going to continue but he shrugs it off and walks away._

_“Nobody freak out, I’m just going to the loo.”_

_He sulks away and I try to think of why he’s so upset. I know he’s sad that Louis is gone, but it hasn’t even been a week, and it’s happened before. Harry is very good at seeming okay when he’s not. Zayn walks over and sits where Harry had been previously._

_“What’s up with grumpy gills?”_

_“No idea. I’m guessing he misses Louis.”_

_“Seems hungover to me,” he rolls his eyes and nods, “Which is also probably because he misses Lou.”_

_He looks at me and takes a sip of his steaming coffee._

_“You know, it’s worse for them, because they aren’t used to being apart. Us with our girlfriends- it’s just typical. They are always together and just have to pretend they aren’t so in love. I can’t imagine doing that for three years.”_

_“Yeah, it sucks.”_

_Harry’s deep voice surprises me and I turn and look up at him. He’s smiling ear to ear, his demeanor completely different than before. I start to wonder about it when Michael snaps me out of my thoughts, calling us over to take our seats and begin the interview. The entire time, Harry acts like a happier, more hyper version of himself and I can’t help but to wonder why he’s acting this way._

_Back to present day:_

I knock on the door and within seconds, Louis flings it open, waving me in. I pull him into a quick hug and walk over to his couch, sitting down as he does the same in a chair next to me. Louis looks upset. He looks worried and just plain sad.

“What’s going on, Lou?” 

He rests his elbows on his knees and buries his face in his hands, finally running his fingers through his hair and beginning to speak.

“It’s Harry. He’s just- not been himself lately.”

“I’ve noticed.”

“Really? Why the fuck didn’t you tell me?”

I raise my hands up in defense, not expecting such high drama when he called me.

“I just figured you were upset being away from him, too. I thought he was sad, nothing else…” I pause and decide to voice my doubts. “Well, maybe something else, but I don’t know what.”

“I do. He’s been snorting coke.”

My mouth drops and loose strings are tied; everything starts to make sense.

“Wow. I- I noticed something was off, but I didn’t know it was something like that. What- how did you find out?”

He drops his hands to his thighs and looks around the room sadly.

“Well, I got back from France the other day and Harry ended up surprising me late at night. We went to, well, you know, you probably don’t want to hear about this part-“

I can tell it’s upsetting him, but I want him to open up, so I can really try to help him.

“Louis, you can tell me. I’m here for you.”

“Long story short, he was just too rough. He hurt me, really badly.”

I can tell this is uncomfortable for him to talk about with me, but I really do want to listen. He should feel comfortable telling me anything and not holding back just because his relationship is different than mine. I can’t believe Harry would do something like that, but thinking back to how strange and mean he acted at the radio station, it’s a little more believable.

“I’m so sorry, Louis. I can’t believe he would do that to you.”

“Oh, that’s not even half of it. After that, I made him leave, and who does he run to? His fake girlfriend. Yeah, he slept with Cara, right after practically fucking raping me. I found them in bed together this morning. He didn’t remember anything, but she did. Plus, it was pretty fucking obvious since they were naked.”

He rubs his temples and tries to breathe. I lean over and rest my hand on his shoulder.

“Hey, I’m here to help. Anything you need me to do. I mean it.”

“He started going through withdrawal and he’s been really sick. I was just over there and… he seems to be okay now. I- I don’t know. It’s late, but maybe you could go over and just sleep on the couch? No matter how much he fucking hurts me, I just want to make sure he’s okay. Am I an idiot or what?”

“No, you’re just in love.”

I wish I could take back those words. Surely, it’s the last thing he wants to hear right now as he’s on the verge of tears, but it sounded comforting in my head.

“You’re right, Liam, and I really shouldn’t-“

Suddenly, his phone interrupts our conversation and he pulls it out of his pocket.

“It’s Jason.”

“Put it on speaker. Pretend I’m not here.”

He nods and answers, holding the phone in his hand to where we can both hear.

“Hello?”

“Louis, welcome back to London. Haven’t been stupid yet, have you?”

I hate the way Jason addresses us.

“I don’t exactly know what you mean by that, but whatever.”

“I got a surprise visit from the lovely Ms. Cara today.”

_Shit._

“She mysteriously wants out of her fresh contract. Any idea why?”

“No, I don’t know. Maybe she found someone she really likes.”

I give Louis a thumbs up, the idea sounding legitimate.

“I don’t think so. Where’s Harry?”

“Why don’t you call him yourself?”

“Because his phone is turned off. Where is he? Is he with you?”

“No! I haven’t seen him!”

I get an idea and wave my hands excitedly, fighting to stay silent. I pull out my phone and quickly type out a note. ‘Say he’s got the flu!’

He nods fervently and waits for Jason to make his next rude remark.

“I have a hard time believing that.”

“Really, I haven’t. He’s got the flu and he’s been sleeping.”

The line is silent and Jason finally speaks.

“You better not be lying. I want to hear from him tomorrow. Make sure it happens.”

Louis rolls his eyes and the line goes dead before anyone says goodbye. I watch his phone return to the home screen before I speak.

“What an asshole.”

“Seriously.”

I stand up and put my phone back in my pocket, heading toward the door. 

“I’m going to head over to Harry’s. He doesn’t know I’m coming, does he?”

“No. Just knock loudly if he doesn’t answer at first. Let him know it’s you.”

I nod my head, but he speaks again.

“Liam, thank you so much.”

“No problem, Lou. You guys are like family.”

*************

I knock for the second time, hearing some noise coming from the other side of the door, but it sounds like it’s far away. I continually knock, louder each time, until finally I hear Harry yell out.

“Who is it!?”

“It’s Liam. Open up, Harry!”

“I want to be alone.”

I content to knock, knowing it will eventually annoy him into opening the door.

“Harry, please let me in.”

After a few more knocks, the door swings open, revealing a very sweaty Harry, wearing nothing but boxers. He’s breathing heavily and looks as though he has been crying for hours. I push him aside and look into his flat. Torn pillows cover the floor, feathers scattered all over his living room. 

“Harry, what the hell happened in here?”

He sits down on the floor and covers his face with his hands, shaking his head.

“He’s gone, Liam. Louis left and I don’t think he’s ever coming back!”

He sobs into his hands and I rush over to him, joining him on the floor. I rest my arm around his shoulders and pull him into a warm hug.

“Shhh. It’s going to be okay. You need to get some sleep. I’ll help you to bed.”

He’s acting strange; frantic, really. I don’t know what else to do, but get him to sleep. He leans against my shoulder and I smell alcohol every time he breathes.

“I can’t get back in that bed. I’m going to burn the fucking sheets. I’ll just sleep here tonight.”

He curls into a ball on the floor, pulling a torn pillow to his head, and before I can dispute his idea, he begins to snore. I stand up and lean over, pulling his lifeless body up, only needing to drag him a few feet to the couch. He stirs a little, looking confused, but returning to peaceful sleep as soon as he’s laid on the cushions. I walk into his room to find the sheets torn and scattered everywhere. I pull a blanket off of his chair and bring it back to the living room, covering him. I turn around and take in all of the damage he did to his flat. I decide to start cleaning up in the bedroom.


	23. Chapter 23

**HARRY’S P.O.V.**

I roll over and refuse to open my eyes. I feel like shit, but it’s still a relief compared to how I felt yesterday. This is just a hangover. I never want to live through withdrawal like that again. I force my eyes open and it’s mostly dark, light barely peeking through the curtains in the living room. I faintly remember Liam coming over, but now he’s snoring on the couch directly across from me. His leg is falling over the edge and he looks very uncomfortable. I sit up and look around, scared of what I’ll find because I do remember tearing the place to shreds. It’s all clean. There are four large garbage bags full and tied off sitting by the door, but things are tidy. Sure, my flat looks empty, but that’s because I destroyed any decor that reminded me of Louis, which was everything. He picked out the colors, as well as the pillows. We found the artwork together at auctions and I know that if he every forgives me for everything else, he will never forget about the paintings I tore to pieces. I rest my face in my palms, forcing myself to breathe. There is nothing I can do about my stupidity now. I walk into the kitchen and open the fridge, deciding I can at least thank Liam properly. I notice the items Louis had added; some comfort food and all of the basics. 

I throw together some eggs and sausage with a side of toast and set it on plates as Liam starts to stir from his deep sleep. He finally sits up and rubs his eyes roughly before standing up and joining me in the kitchen. Before he can say anything, I hug him tightly, resting my head on his shoulder. I try to hold back the tears, but my emotions have been a roller coaster the past few days.

“Thank you, Liam. I can’t tell you how much it means just that you came.”

“Harry, it’s nothing. I’d do anything for you two.”

It pains my heart to hear him refer to Louis as a part of me. He is the most important part of me, but he feels so far away right now. I pause my sobs and pull away, not wanting the food to get cold. I hand him his plate and we sit together at the counter on barstools. We eat in silence for a couple minutes before he looks at me and finally speaks.

“So, tell me what happened. From the beginning.”

I feel as though so many people have tried to help me in the past couple days and I somehow avoided these types of questions. I didn’t even want to tell Liam before, because I knew he’d just lecture me. However, now I know, that’s exactly what I need. 

“Well, when Louis left for France, I decided to try to leave reality while he was gone. I found a guy who deals to celebrities and started using within a week of Lou being gone. I felt so lost without him and I didn’t care about anything. I felt like we were finally doing really well and being as mature about our relationship as was possible and then I had to lose him for a month. After being with him every day for so long, especially on tour, it was all I knew. It scared me to think that I would be alone for any period of time, not to mention a month. I was using coke every day for about two weeks when I started to see it becoming a major problem. I didn’t want to tell you guys because I was already disappointed in myself. I decided spur of the moment to get Cara in on things and take her to France.”

He’s listening intently still, not trying to interrupt at all. He nods along understandingly to every explanation, but I know how sad it’s making him.

“I just decided that the only way to stop it was to see Louis. I needed to talk to him about it. I would have too, if management didn’t step in when they did. I used a little less during those couple days with Louis, but as soon as we were apart again, I was snorting about three or four times a day. I had to buy from Kevin large amounts every week. I put myself down, knowing Modest would keep us apart, even when Louis was back here. I just kept running myself into the ground. I saw it happening, too. I just thought I was too far in and that it was better than facing my solitude.”

He takes it all in and thinks deeply before replying to me. The time he takes thinking reassures me that he has something meaningful to say.

“Harry, I understand. I really do; I see every day how much you and Louis love each other and I wish with all my heart that you could share that with the world. Sadly, that’s not possible right now without taking a toll on everyones’ career. I want you to know how much the rest of us respect you guys for complying with management for us. We know you and Lou would drop everything to be together if it meant it wouldn’t hurt me, Zayn, and Niall. We really do see it as you sticking it out for us and even though it hurts, it means the world to us.”

I nod and bite my lip nervously. It’s nice to know that they see our struggle for what it is.

“But, we can’t have stuff like this happening, Harry. You’re not making anything better, especially for you. I know escaping from reality seems like the best option at the time, but look where you’re at now.”

“I’m guessing Louis already gave you a summary of how much of an asshole I’ve been?”

“Yeah, pretty much, but I know that none of this is you. It’s all because of one decision you made: to use drugs. That’s the underlying factor that needs to change.”

“Don’t worry, I’m never doing that again.”

“Good, because if we notice anything off again, we will intervene, whether you want it or not.”

I feel like Liam is a parent giving me a second chance, warning me that it won’t be so pretty next time. Not that any of it is welcoming this time.

“What about Louis, then? Any ideas on how you can fix that?”

“Liam, I don’t know. How do you make up for a stink like that? I remember being upset because of some stupid picture I saw of Louis kissing Eleanor when I KNEW it was to make management happy. That was only a month ago and now the tables have turned dramatically. But, really that was nothing compared to this. How can I earn his trust after what I did?”

“Well, I’m not sure, but Louis loves you, Harry. It’s going to work out, I’m sure. You just have a lot of making up to do. You need to prove to him that you aren’t going back down that road. Show him that you’re still **you**.”

“But, am I?”

“I think you are, Harry, but that’s something only you can know.”

“I don’t know if I’m still the guy he fell in love with. So much has changed in the past three years and we’ve gone through it all together. How do I go back to the very basis of our relationship?”

“Sorry, but you’re going to have to come up with that on your own. By the way, there’s a bit of a dilemma with management.”

“Shit. I didn’t even think about that.”

“Well, Louis told them you’ve been sick with the flu, so play into that. He said he hadn’t seen you, but Jason said Cara went by and tried to get out of her contract. I don’t really know how you want to deal with that.”

“Dammit- she just can’t stay away from the situation, can she?”

Liam looks at me scoldingly.

“To be fair, you dragged the poor girl in head first.”

“Touché,” I really had no right to be genuinely upset with Cara, “Liam, I think I’m going to have to involve management. I have to stand up to them somehow if I want to be around Louis and have any chance at sanity. I think I have an idea.”


	24. Chapter 24

**CARA’S P.O.V.**

Yesterday was awful. I’m trying the best I can to fix this mess I have created, but I only seem to be making it worse. I never realized how much of an asshole Jason is. I saw how he treated the boys when we were in France, but it just seemed like precautionary actions so that their careers wouldn’t be affected. He seemed nice when Harry took me there to sign my contract, but now I know he was just trying to trap me. I roll over in bed, knowing I won’t be able to fall back to sleep with my mind running like this, even though it’s quite early. Suddenly, my phone starts to buzz on my nightstand. It doesn’t stop buzzing, so I know its a phone call. I pick it up and see Harry’s name on the caller ID. I don’t want to be yelled at for my stupidity, but I’m honestly just grateful he would talk to me at all. I quickly slide to answer before he can change his mind.

“Harry?”

“Hey, Cara.”

“Oh my god, I’m so glad you called me. I’m so-“

“Hey, it’s not like it was all your fault. I shouldn’t have ignored you and I’m sorry if Louis scared you.”

“No, he had every right to be angry- god, I feel awful.”

“That makes two of us...” 

His voice trails off and we stay silent for a while before he continues.

“Anyway, the reason I called is because I have an idea. I heard you went by Modest yesterday-“

“Oh, god. Yeah, Jason wasn’t very understanding. I didn’t tell him anything- he didn’t really give me the  chance to say anything. He just yelled.”

“Yeah, he’s quite fond of yelling... I think we can bargain with him though. It might be dangerous, but I want to try something.”

“What did you have in mind?”

“Can you come over?”

“Of course! I’ll be over in an hour.”

“Great, thanks. Cara, it really means a lot.”

“Harry, I’ll do anything to make up for all of this.”

“I’m hoping we can.”

I hang up the phone and climb out of bed to take a shower and get ready, anxious to know what Harry supposes we do.

**HARRY’S P.O.V.**

“Okay, Cara. You sure you’re ready?”

She takes a deep breath as we prepare to step out of the car in front of Modest.

“Ready as I’ll ever be.”

“Just don’t let him get in the way. Remember, we have control.”

Liam turns around from the driver’s seat and gives a nervous grin.

“Be careful, guys. I’ll be around the corner.”

I nod and pat him on the shoulder as I climb out of the backseat, Cara just behind me. I walk confidently to the front door hold it open for her. When we enter, we approach Karen’s desk and she holds up a finger, quickly ending her phone call.

“...okay, yes, you too. Bye.” She looks directly at me and Cara with a forced smile. “What can I help you with?”

“We’re here to see Jason. He doesn’t know we’re here.”

“I’ll call up.”

She picks up the phone and presses a few buttons before speaking again.

“Jason, Harry and Cara are here to see you.... okay.... yes... I’ll let them know.”

I kept my gaze on her the entire time and she seems flustered.

“Go on up; he’ll see you now.”

Cara follows me to the lift and we stand awkwardly as the doors close, finally breathing normally once inside. 

“I’m nervous-“

“Shhh. Me too. I just hope he doesn’t realize it’s fake.”

We laugh anxiously and try to push the idea out of our minds. Jason wouldn’t be able to tell. I just had to keep telling myself that so I wouldn’t lose my confidence. The elevator doors open and we walk to his office. I see him through the glass door and know there’s no turning back now.

“Here goes nothing.”

I whisper lightly to Cara as I open his office door and his head shoots up.

“Oh, thought you had disappeared. Why haven’t you answered your phone?”

“Uhh. It died. Doesn’t matter anyway-“

“I thought you were sick. You don’t sound like you have the flu.”

“About that-“

“If you’ve been with Louis, I swear to god-“

He stands up from his chair and I move forward angrily, approaching his desk with fury.

“What? What are you going to do? I don’t think you’ll want to fuck with me after we show you why we came here.”

I turn and look at Cara and she shyly steps forward, envelope in hand. I place my hand on her shoulder and encourage her to speak.

“First of all, I would like-“

She speaks feebly and Jason interrupts like the prick that he is.

“I can’t hear you. Speak up.”

She clears her throat and I can see the disgust pass over her eyes as she speaks much louder.

“First of all, I would like for you to know how much I disagree with what you’ve put these boys through. What right do you have to separate them the way you do? I understand keeping things under wraps for now for publicity, but you take it too far. Therefore, I want out of my contract.”

“Cara, Cara, Cara...” He speaks to her like she’s a child, in such a demeaning way. “We talked about this yesterday; you aren’t getting out of it.”

“I think this will change your mind.”

She drops the envelope on his desk and crosses her arms confidently. He holds it in his hand and opens it slowly, watching our reactions all the while. I look at him, anger burning in my eyes, as he pulls out the staged photo of me snorting cocaine. He tries to look calm and unnerved but I can see his eyes bulge at the picture. He stares at it for a long time before looking back at us.

“What the hell is this?”

I step forward and kindly let Cara stand to the side.

“It’s what you’ve made me become. You’ve turned me into a person I wish I didn’t know. Don’t worry, I already know you don’t give a shit about any of this, but I _do_ know what you care about.”

I step closer so that my thighs are hitting his desk and I lean over, my face inches from his. Spitting in outrage, I raise my finger to him.

“You’re going to let Cara out of this mess and you’re going to _help_ me and Louis see each other out of the public eye or this picture will go viral.”

He looks dumbfounded for about a minute and begins his next rant in a booming voice.

“Why on earth would you do something so dumb? You’ll be ruining yourself, you idiot! We’ve made it so fucking simple, but you can’t seem to keep your hands off each other and now you expect us to _HELP_ you and Louis? That’s grand. Let’s just start planning your wedding. What made you think this would be a good idea? Honestly, Harry, I knew you were stupid, but-”

“Shut the _FUCK_ up. Stop talking to me that way. I’m so sick of it! Yes, I _DO_ expect you to help me and Louis. We have no problem cooperating with you to a degree, but you need to make it easier for us to do so. What’s done is done. This picture will be all over twitter in the next thirty minutes if we don’t sit down and take care of this situation like adults. Cara’s documents will be voided and we need to figure out a reasonable agreement.”

Cara is pacing behind me and once I’m done speaking, cuts in, heatedly.

“I know a lot of important people who would love to print in their magazine the secret lives of the biggest boy band on the planet. How does that sound? You don’t even see them as people anymore, do you? They have feelings and you treat them like puppets that make you loads of money.”

She steps back with wild eyes, catching her breath. Jason falls back into his chair and runs his fingers through his hair, looking back at the photo. He finally sets it down and puts his hands up defensively.

“Sit down.”

I can’t tell where this is going, but I need to find out. We both sit in the chairs opposite him. 

“We don’t need to take it so far. How about we make a compromise.”

I shift in my seat, feeling the need to make snide remarks.

“I didn’t know ‘compromise’ was in your vocabulary.”

He looks at me with annoyance, rolling his eyes as he continues.

“I think we can work something out, but Cara, I’m sorry. You can’t just leave the contract. That would leave you to do whatever you wanted, like releasing something like this.”

I roll my eyes and look at Cara, who is still calm, waiting for his options. 

“We can, however, loosen the reins. We can have you two around each other every so often, but without the requirements that are now set. We can discuss that later this week so the lawyers can draw up a contract.”

Cara sits back and nods in agreement, obviously hopeful for a smooth ending. Jason looks at me next.

“Harry, what exactly do you expect us to do?”

“Don’t try to keep us from being at each others’ flats. We’ll be careful about it, I promise.”

He sighs and nods reluctantly.

“Fine, we’ll set up an appointment and get things squared away. Get out of my office; go tell your boyfriend the good news, I don’t give a shit.”

Cara and I excitedly stand up and walk out the door, trying to contain the thrill in our step. When we get in the lift, I call Liam and I can’t wipe the smile off of my face.

“Come pick us up. We need to go to see Louis.”

 


	25. Chapter 25

**LOUIS’ P.O.V.**

My stare is glued to the telly, but I don’t even know what I’m watching. My eyes burn and I force myself to blink to take away from the dryness. It doesn’t help this time so I rub my eyes furiously. I slept for about an hour last night, but after Liam told me about the wreck Harry was and how he destroyed his flat, sleep was hopeless. I laid in bed for hours mulling over the events of the past weekend, reliving the pain, the frustration, and the unavoidable love I felt because of Harry. I stand up and walk to the toilet, turning on the sink and brushing my teeth, trying to feel human again. Once I’m done, I let water fall into my cupped hands and splash it on my face. I look into the mirror and notice the dark circles under my eyes, as well as the redness covering the whites of my eyeballs. I look awful, but all I can think about is how much worse Harry looked yesterday. The thought of him still being upset and in pain makes my heart throb in discomfort. Nothing feels right without Harry. 

I pull the towel from behind the door and wipe my face off as well as my bare chest because droplets had dripped off of my chin. I hang the towel and wipe my hands down the front of my flannel pajama pants before leaving the restroom. As I turn off the lights, I hear a faint knocking from my living room. The front door? I sleepily walked over, turning the television off and the knocking is louder. It has to be Liam. I walk over and swing the door open without looking to see who it is first. My body physically shifts in demeanor when I see the striking green eyes I have been longing to gaze into, not since last night, but since he changed. He looks like Harry. My Harry. I glance down his face at the small grin playing on his lips and follow his arms to the tub of my favorite ice cream in his hands. The neat red bow tied around it makes me giggle lightly and I force myself to stop by clasping my hand to my mouth. Everything negative rushes through me and I feel sadness, but as soon as I look back into Harry’s eyes which have now become an extension of his smile, it all fades away.

I take the carton from his hands and set it on the coffee table as he closes the door behind him. I turn around to face him again and he’s standing inches away, towering over me. My breathing hitches as I feel his fingertips graze my side and once my eyes return to his, any hope of containing myself flies out the door. I bring my arms up to rest on his shoulders and crash my lips into his, desperately needing his touch. He doesn’t disappoint, wrapping his arms around my waist tightly and pressing his body into mine. Every simple feeling is exaggerated by the thinness of my pants. I can’t control the rate my bulge grows against his thigh and I know he can’t ignore it. I bring my hand down, lifting up his shirt so I can feel his chest. Goosebumps raise under my fingertips and he breaths deeply, his chest rising and falling. I pull his shirt over his head and toss it behind me as I kiss his neck, leaving marks along his collarbone. He moans and grips onto my back in desire.

“God, Lou. I missed you so much.”

“Shhh.”

I can’t have him interrupt this with words. I want him, all of him; and I want him now. I push him through my flat toward my bedroom door and as we crash through the door, he complies with my every move. I tug at his belt loops, pushing him onto the bed in heated passion. I stand at the edge of the bed and pull his pants down furiously, his boxers dragging along as well, as he kicks off his boots. He scoots up to the top of the bed and I crawl towards him seductively, feeling almost animalistic. I feel in control; him being completely naked and me still wearing my pants. I kiss him once and pull away, leaving small kisses and nibbles down him torso. I gaze up at him as I lie between his legs and he sits up as I take his length in my hand, about to place it in my mouth.

“No, wait.”

I pull back and look at him with confusion and annoyance.

“This is going to be all about you.”

I sit up and he pulls me up by my waist, switching positions with me completely. He feels me through my pants just before yanking them down and leaving them at my ankles. Normally, I would kick them off, but he doesn’t give me time to think, taking my hard member in his mouth suddenly. He lays horizontally across the bed and his loose hand finds its way to mine. He intertwines our fingers and I let his engulf mine as I comfortably  lean back into my pillows. His lips pull back and he starts to bob his head fluidly, swirling his tongue over me and sucking harshly as he pulls up. After a couple minutes, my back is arching, my hips thrusting toward him, as I feel so close to the edge. He pulls back and lets my member fall to my stomach. He lays next to me and gathers my head in his arm, pulling me toward him so he can kiss me again. His fingers roam through my hair and I feel between our bodies to hold his length, finding it quickly. He seems harder than ever and I start to slowly pump him in my hand, but as soon as he starts to moan into our passionate kiss, he reaches down and stops me.

“Louis, please. Fuck me. It’s all about you.”

I leave my lips pressed to his and grin wildly. He turns so that he is laying on his back, facing the ceiling, and I reach into my nightstand, pulling out a bottle of lube. As soon as I roll back over, Harry grabs the bottle from my hand and pours a small amount into his palm. He looks at me impatiently and I roll onto him, holding myself up with my arms on either side of his head. He raises one leg to my shoulder and reaches down to coat my length with the liquid. Once he is done, he holds onto me and looks deep in my eyes as he guides me to his entrance. I slowly push in, never breaking our gaze as I watch a flicker of pain cross over his eyes which immediately disappears as I fully enter him, filling him up. He smiles brightly and reaches up to my neck, pulling me down to meet my lips with his. I stay there for a moment, letting the feeling sink in and letting him adjust to my size. Our lips move together perfectly and I wish for it to never stop. I pull my hips back and push back in, feeling his lips quiver as I find a comfortable pace. His tongue reaches between my lips and caresses my tongue as they dance inside my mouth. I know Harry said that this was all about me, but I can see the longing in his face and I want so badly for him to feel close to as good as I do. I grasp the hand he used to lather my member and take as much of the lube leftover from it as I can. I loop my arm through his leg and hold his length in my hand, beginning to stroke it in the same rhythm I pound into him. His mouth drops open and I lean down, biting on his lower lip as a deep growl emits from my throat. He moans in response and the noise doesn’t subside from then on. My pants become high pitched yelps and Harry groans deeply at the sensory overload. Within minutes, I feel the familiar building in my stomach, only it’s better than usual.

“OH, HARRY! I’m so close, love.”

“Me too, Lou. I love you so goddamn much.”

I feel the need to reciprocate his words, but he knows just how much I love him. I thrust into him a few more times as I feel myself reach my climax. I slow my thrusts until I finally stop, pushing into him completely as I finish, emptying into him. Moments later, Harry spills over into my hand and onto his toned stomach. I pull my hand back and let his leg fall to the mattress as I pull out. His arms are spread straight out and I lay comfortably on his bicep, close to his shoulder. He breaths heavily, but pulls my head closer and leaves a long kiss on the forehead. When we had both caught our breaths, Harry finally spoke.

“We really should talk.”


	26. Chapter 26

**HARRY’S P.O.V.**

I hadn’t really expected this to happen, but as soon as he touched me, I felt at home. Louis’ arms are my only constant home. I couldn’t give a shit where I was, as long as Louis was there with me. Once we were in his bed, I knew I had to make him remember the real me. How I was before I ruined myself. That version of me was lost from Louis’ eyes and I had to prove to him that I was still there. I really did plan on talking to him first, but our love was so much deeper than most. Sure, it might seem like lust took over, but it was really just our intense need to feel alive. Louis’ touch keeps me alive.

“We really should talk.”

Louis rolls over on my arm and looks up to me. He looks flustered, still catching his breath. I could tell he had been avoiding this conversation since I stepped through his door, but it’s unavoidable if we’re ever going to move on. Besides, I need to tell him about Cara and I’s meeting with Jason.

“Alright, yeah we should.”

He takes a deep breath and sits himself up against the headboard and I do the same. He pulls the sheets up to his chest and looks at me impatiently.

“First of all, I would like to apologize properly and talk to you about the past month of my life.”

Louis’ eye twitches and I can tell this will be a rough conversation to have, not because of the hurtful things I did to him, but because of the hurtful things I did to myself. He’s going to be heartbroken.

“When you left, I felt like my life was... gone. I had nothing I looked forward to daily, besides your phone call. Every night, I sat in my room after whatever event management sent me to, and cried. Blubbered like an idiot, Lou-“

Louis closes his eyes for a moment and I pause to watch his reaction.

“Harry, why didn’t you tell me? We could have-“

“Could have what? After those pictures on the balcony, trying to talk management into bringing you back, would have made it worse. Anyway, I didn’t even last a week before I called Kevin. He met me at some party and convinced me that coke was my best option. It was the only way I had energy to go to those dumb things with Cara or whoever, but Lou, I felt so empty inside. I felt like a robot. That’s why I showed up in France. You were the one thing that could fill that void and I really just needed to talk to you about it all.”

“You didn’t though.”

“Well, I almost did a couple times, but I didn’t want to ruin the time we had, so I put it off. Then, I had no choice and I was gone again. I was angry at management and at that point, I almost hoped they found out. I almost hoped that it would ruin my career so I would be free to just live my life. My life with you.”

I feel hot tears sting my eyes as I see all the color leave Louis’ face. He looks so upset, but I need to get everything out.

“I constantly thought about you and how much I missed you. I was so pessimistic. I thought, ‘well, when he get’s back, they’ll keep him away still and it’ll just be worse’. I kept escaping from reality through use of drugs, and I know how awful that is and love, I’m so sorry. I should have been strong. I wish I could have been strong for you.”

My slow tears have turned into muffled sobs as I cover my face shamefully in my hands. Suddenly, a warm hand rests on my shoulder and it’s as if my body calms instantly, filling with the only light in my world. I stop hiding my face and search for his loving eyes in the dim light. His deep blues glisten with tears and I instantly feel pain for causing him to cry.

“Louis, I can never forgive myself for doing what I did to you, no matter what was influencing my mind. I will _NEVER_ feel that I deserve your love, whether you give it to me or not. What I did was so unacceptable, I can’t even explain in words how much it kills me to think that I hurt you physically and emotionally. I...I-“

I don’t have words, and even if I did, they wouldn’t be able to slip between my frantic bouts of cries. Louis’ hand slides from my shoulder to my arm, pulling my hand out from the covers to hold tightly in his. He wipes away the tears from his cheek and takes a deep breath before speaking.

“Harry. It’s very difficult for me to understand how you dealt with this situation, but it was really just a spiral of events that sprouted from ONE decision; to do drugs. I could care less about the rest. Sure, you hurt me the other night... and sure, finding you in bed with Cara the next morning was like a knife to the heart, but I _know_ none of that would have happened if you didn’t have other factors influencing you. I know you, Harry. The real you; and I’m convinced that if you stay clean, we can move on from this. I haven’t put so much effort into our relationship to see it die. I plan on spending the rest of my life with you and we have to come to terms with the fact that we’re going to face trials. This just happens to be the first big one.”

I can’t believe my ears. I knew Louis was understanding and forgiving, but he’s become so mature and caring in the past few years. I squeeze his hand and lean over to place a sweet kiss on his parted lips. He reciprocates my action and rests his other hand on my thigh. I break away and stroke his cheek softly, staring deeply into the eyes of the man that would always hold my heart.

“There’s also one more thing. Cara and I both wanted to make it up to you... so we went to Jason.”

“What?”

Louis looks terrified. I have to admit, it’s the same look I had on my face when we walked into Jason’s office.

“No, it went well. We basically blackmailed...well, me, I guess... by faking a picture of me snorting coke and said it would be released if he didn’t comply with us. He agreed to help us see each other privately! Also, Cara won’t have to be around so much. She wanted out all the way, but we had to compromise.”

Louis’ stare is blank and I can tell he’s shocked.

“He’s gonna.... _help_ us?”

“I know, it’s still a shock to me, too. We’ll go in to sign a new contract of sorts. This time, we’re going to pay attention to the fine print. Maybe we can actually live together again!”

Louis forces a grin and I can tell he sees it as too good to be true. To be honest, in the back of my mind it really is. I push those thoughts aside and reach behind Louis’ neck, pulling him closer to me so I can feel his lips inches away from mine. I brush over them lightly with mine and finally press them together, breathing in his scent and entire essence. I love Louis with my whole heart and I’m more than ready for this to work out in our favor for once. We just have to believe that it can.


	27. Chapter 27

**LOUIS’ P.O.V.**

Before I know it, Harry is fast asleep on my chest. I watch his hair move a bit every time the fan circles. I feel relieved to have him here with me, but I can’t help but to worry about the plan to involve Modest. Jason has to be pulling his chain; or even worse, has something conniving up his sleeve. I would love to think differently of Jason, but he has constantly let us down, not only Harry and I, but all of the boys. 

I wish things could be different. I wish I could go into an interview without practicing answers to simple questions, knowing that I can’t be honest. When a person asks, ‘Are you and Harry in a relationship?’, I want nothing more than to calmly reply, ‘Yes, we’re very happy together’. Why can’t it be that way? I’d like to say that I would take back the past three years of my life to be with Harry, and maybe it’s true, but I don’t think we’d be so in love if it weren’t for the things we’ve been through. While Jason tries to keep us apart, he’s really just pushing us closer together. I remember the beginning and how we thought about calling it quits, but instead we stood up for the one thing we had faith in: our love. 

Now isn’t any different. I need to have faith in Harry’s love for me. He wouldn’t be here, in my bed right now, if he didn’t love me. It’s not like I’m perfect. I’ve messed up plenty of times and Harry never thought twice about forgiving me. Sure, he kept me on my toes, but I always knew it would be alright. Of course, I’ve never hurt him the same way he’s hurt me, but it’s definitely been more frequent. That’s why this has been such a surprise to me. Harry’s been a saint this whole time, trying to fix me over and over. It’s my turn to return the favor.

 

**_Flashback to just before Chapter 1:_ **

_“Oh, god. Louis!!!”_

_The moans escaping Harry’s mouth are so sexy. His skin glistens from the moonlight entering our hotel room as he lays facedown in the sheets. I bury myself in him over and over, sweat dripping down my hairline and onto his bare back. I pause deep inside him, adjusting my body so that my chest is pressed into his back. As I thrust, our bodies slip against each other easily. I grip his hair in my free hand and with my other arm trembling to hold me up, I twist his head so I can kiss him. I press my lips into his roughly, taking in the taste of his tongue. He groans loudly as I repeatedly hit his prostate, the vibrating ring around my member hitting him each time._

_“Come for me, Hazz.”_

_Knowing that I have this power over his body is so erotic and makes me feel accomplished. I hold around his chest tightly and turn our bodies so that we are both on our sides and push myself into him completely as I reach around and hold onto his hard tool. I hold myself there and begin to pump him in my hand until he yells loudly and spills over onto my fingers and the bed. After giving him enough time to recover, I pull out and lay on my back as he sits up and crawls between my legs. He quickly turns the ring off and carefully slides it up my length, letting it sit on the bed behind him as he smiles at me and ensures that he holds my gaze. He takes me in his mouth and my eyes shut instantly as I claw at the sheets. I’ve been close for a while, the ring holding me over while I finished Harry. So, I know I won’t last another minute. I lift my hips off of the bed as I grit my teeth and prepare for the most mind-blowing orgasm of my life. Harry moans against me as he fondles my balls in his hand and I come undone without warning, although he had to know I was close. He hollowed his cheeks, sucking up every last bit of my cum and swallowing it. Finally, he collapses next to me and we lay panting in our sweat, not minding one bit._

_Eleanor is on her way and I’m honestly really upset about it. It’s not because I don’t want to see her; I just don’t want to have to leave Harry. This has been the first place in a while that we got a private hotel room and weren’t stuck on the bus and I don’t want to waste any time ‘out on the town with my girlfriend’._

_“Harry, I love you.”_

_He looks up and grins at me and his dimples make my heart melt._

_“I love you more, Lou. You have no idea.”_

_“You know. Less than a year and we should be able to come out.”_

_His smile fades a little and I start to regret bringing it up. I know that deep down he’s ready, but something still scares him. He comes off as cocky and carefree, but he’s very insecure and he’ll be crushed if we don’t get full support... which we won’t. I consider changing the subject, but we really do need to talk about it. He still hasn’t said anything and he rolls over to get his briefs, pulling them on and standing up next to the bed._

_“Harry...”_

_“Louis, please I don’t want to have this discussion right now.”_

_“I just-“_

_“Just drop it, okay?”_

_He never snaps at me like that and it takes me by surprise. He sits at the edge of the bed and runs his fingers through his hair. I can’t see his expression, but I can hear him sniffle and I can tell he’s starting to cry. I sit up and crawl to his side of the bed. I place my legs on either side of his hips, holding him close to me and resting my chin on his shoulder._

_“I’m sorry for bringing it up. Please don’t cry.”_

_“I’m just scared, Lou.”_

_I just don’t understand what he’s scared of. We’re lucky, to be honest; so many people worry about coming out because they have no one to support them. We already have so much support from our families and friends. Of course, there are a few who still don’t know, but we already have a lot of people who love us for who we are._

_“What are you scared of, Harry?”_

_He pushes my arms away in frustration and walks over to the window, leaving me on the bed. I reach behind me and find my boxers under a pillow, pulling them on and standing up to follow him. He pushes away my hands as I try to hold him and I finally give up, leaning against the wall._

_“You just don’t understand.”_

_“You’re right. I don’t! Harry, what does it all matter if we have each other? We can finally have the relationship we’ve been wanting for so long!”_

_He whips around to face me, tears still in his eyes._

_“What does it matter? It matters a great deal! There are so many people watching our every move. Our relationship will be plastered on every magazine for months! People will go insane. I don’t know about you, but that’s NOT the relationship I’ve been wanting for so long.”_

_“Of course it isn’t, but I do want people to know about us. I’m so proud to call you mine, but I can’t even really do that.”_

_“That’s not what it’s all about, Louis! Think about the people who will react badly. My own dad doesn’t even know! Who knows what he’ll think!”_

_“Harry, he loves you so much! That won’t change based on your sexuality!”_

_“No, but he’ll look at me differently-“_

_“If he does, then he doesn’t deserve to have you as a son!”_

_“But, that’s just it, Louis! I am his son! He’s my dad! Of course I care about how he thinks of me!”_

_I don’t want to argue with him anymore. I can’t go back and forth in an argument that is never-ending. I just can’t fathom wanting to keep our relationship a secret._

_“I feel like you’re embarrassed by me, Harry.”_

_I’ve never admitted that to him before and I’m nervous about his reaction, but it’s something that crosses my mind every day. Every time he tries to hide us from someone, it pains my heart, even though it’s for the sake of publicity. Instead of comforting me, or telling me I’m wrong, he scoffs and walks away. The only worse reaction I could have gotten would be if he told me I was right. Normally, I would push the subject further. I’d follow him and persist until it was all resolved, but right now, I just want to get out of here._

_“I’m going to ride over to get Eleanor. I’ll talk to you later, I guess.”_

_I pick up my pants and t-shirt from the floor, walking out of the bedroom to change in the living area. When I close the door and start to put my clothes on, I half expect him to chase after me, but he doesn’t. I slip on my shoes and grab my cell phone as I leave the suite, calling the driver as I wait for the elevator._

___________________________________________

_“So, you just left?”_

_I sit across from Eleanor in the empty restaurant, taking a sip of my mojito. We drove straight here from the airport and we’re about a two minute walk from the hotel. I’m just not ready to go back yet and not too many places are open this time of night._

_“Yeah, what else was I supposed to do. I was just sick of arguing with him.”_

_She shakes her head and picks at the remainder of her food._

_“Don’t look so disappointed in me, El. I didn’t want to say something I’d regret.”_

_“I know, Louis. You just need to try really hard to understand where he’s coming from. You don’t have a relationship with your dad, so you could care less what he thinks. And you know that’s only part of it.”_

_“I know, I know.”_

_She’s right. I should be more understanding, but I feel like I don’t make him happy enough. The waitress returns and I pay for our food so we can leave. I still don’t want to face Harry, so I’ll probably just sleep on the couch in Eleanor’s suite. Once we exit the restaurant, we start to walk toward the hotel. As soon as we leave the doors, camera’s flash and we’re surrounded by the paparazzi. I grab Eleanor’s hand for the pictures and force a smile, trying to make it believable. Questions and comments are all I can hear and I try to push through the crowd._

_“Louis! Are you secretly dating Harry?”_

_Someone always asks that. They want to get a reaction out of me. A flinch, a grin, a nod; anything. Suddenly, I get an idea and before I change my mind, I have Eleanor pinned to the wall and my lips are pressed to hers. I slip my tongue between her parted lips and wrap my arms around her waist. I feel her pinch my side lightly and I know I’ll get shit for this later. After at least a minute, I resurface, smiling at the cameras as I pull Eleanor behind me and we disappear around the corner. She keeps her composure until we make our way to the hotel and inside the lift._

_“What the fuck was that, Louis?”_

_I grin deviously and look at her, but her face is full of anger._

_“I just... I want to see how he’ll react!”_

_“Louis Tomlinson. You have got to be joking. You’re trying to make him jealous?”_

_“Not directly. Sure, that comes with the territory, but I just want him to realize he doesn’t want to lose me.”_

_“God, Lou. You’re a bloody idiot.”_

_She’s right. I’m already regretting my decision. He’s going to be so angry. Unless he doesn’t care. I don’t really know which is worse._

_“I know, El.”_

_“You better believe you aren’t sleeping in my room tonight. You’re going to fix things with Harry. NOW.”_

_She swats my shoulder and the doors open, revealing the empty hallway. She walks to the left without a word and I turn to the right, slowly approaching me and Harry’s suite. I stand in front of the door for a while before opening it quietly. The lights are all off and the door to the bedroom is still closed. I take my shoes off and open the door slowly, walking in and taking off my shirt. Harry doesn’t budge and his body is perfectly still as he sleeps in the middle of the bed. I take off my pants, leaving me in just my boxers and I climb into the bed on my usual side. I carefully roll him over a little, scooting in and spooning him. His eyes stay closed, but he moves to get comfortable against me and mutters almost inaudibly._

_“Sorry, Lou.”_

_I kiss the back of his head and whisper softly._

_“I’m so sorry, Harry. I hope you’ll forgive me.”_

_I’m really dreading tomorrow’s tabloids._

 

**_Back to present day:_ **

 

I felt like such an asshole for what I did, but I knew Harry would forgive me and he did. The very next day. That was only a little over a month ago and I can still remember the look on Harry’s face when he saw the picture of Eleanor and I. I felt like such shit when I saw his reaction and I know he felt the same way after everything he did to me. It doesn’t completely compare, but when it comes down to it, I’m just glad to be watching him sleep in my arms. He’s obviously started to overcome his fears by involving management so he can see me more. He even mentioned living together again. Maybe these trials have helped him to realize what is most important to him. That’s all I can hope for. I just wonder how exactly Jason intends to help us. I guess we’ll find out soon enough. Now, all I can think of is finally getting some peaceful sleep, since I know Harry is safe and exactly where he belongs. With me.


	28. Chapter 28

**HARRY’S P.O.V.**

Louis and I sit in Jason’s office, waiting for him to show up. I tap my foot on the floor nervously until Louis rests his hand on my knee, calming me immediately.

“Hazz, what are you nervous about? It’s gonna be fine.”

“I don’t know. I’m just afraid he’s gonna change his mind.”

“Even so, the worse that can happen is it goes back to how it was.”

I force a grin and finally look into Louis’ eyes. He looks anxious too; he’s just better at hiding it.

“I guess so. I just want things to be how they _should_ be.”

“Well, that’s not gonna happen until our contract’s up. You know that.”

I sigh. I do know that. I think about it all the time. However, I can’t help but to fear that prospect at the same time. I want to be with Louis more than anything. I would rather die than to live a life without him. I just can’t stop wondering how people will react. Louis is fearless. I admire his courage so much. I really do have to admit to myself that it’s really just my dad holding me back. I know we aren’t the closest of people, but I still look up to him in a weird way and he doesn’t know about any of this. I know I need to tell him. My mum says he’ll support me, but I’m skeptical. The thing is, when I ask myself if I’d rather lose Louis than face my father, the answer is obvious. The opening of the door snaps me away from my thoughts. Louis squeezes my knee as Jason appears in front of us, walking behind his desk with a cup of coffee.

“Hello, boys. How are my favorite closeted gays?”

Louis scoffs. I really hate Jason.

“Can we skip the pleasantries, Jason? Or un-pleasantries in your case?”

“Oh, wow. Harry, I don’t know if you’re in the position to call the shots.”

He grins widely. He’s too happy. His mood is too light. This is what I feared.

“Get on with it.”

Louis pulls his hand back from my leg and rests it on his armrest, _his_ leg shaking restlessly now.

“I’d like to show you guys something I gathered from the security office.”

What?

“I think you’ll find this interesting.”

He turns his computer screen towards us and turns the volume up to a deafening level. It’s the camera in the lift. The picture is fuzzy, but you can clearly see Cara and I walk through the open doors. Static consumes the speakers, until the doors shut. My mind races, trying to remember what Cara and I said in the elevator yesterday. I don’t remember. Then, it hits me, but it’s too late.

_“I’m nervous-“_

_“Shhh. Me too. I just hope he doesn’t realize it’s fake.”_

Shit. I see the two of us standing there, laughing nervously as we wait to reach Jason’s office.

_“Here goes nothing.”_

_Fuck_. Louis looks at me and then we turn our gaze to Jason, who is sitting proudly with his arms crossed.

“So, you thought you could trick me?”

We sit in complete silence for a few seconds and I try to hide my shock. Suddenly, it hits me.

“Why does it matter if it’s coke or not? The picture exists; You thought it was real until that conversation. You think the media wouldn’t go crazy with it?”

Instantly, his face falls. He looks defeated and I feel relief sweep over me.

“Fine. We’ll proceed.”

He tries to hide his disappointment, but it’s written all over his expression. I reach over and grab Louis’ hand, letting them both fall into his lap.

“I have new contracts here as a revision of the original.”

He slides two pieces of paper across the desk, but mine looks a hell of a lot longer than Louis’.

“Why are they different?”

Louis looks puzzled as he sits up to get a better look. They’ve always been the same.

“Glad you asked, Louis. Harry’s has some extra stipulations. We will help you if you play along.”

I pick up the paper and hold it between Louis and I so we can read it together, but I mumble the important bits under my breath.

“... required to attend one weekly event... monthly appearance with Cara...temporary modeling contract with Armani? What’s that for?”

Jason folds his hands and rests them on his desk. What does modeling have to do with any of this?

“To keep a heterosexual image.”

“By modeling? How does that work?”

Louis scoffs and lets his eyes shift between Jason and my pending contract.

“He will be modeling underwear. With women.”

“What?!”

Louis and I speak at the same time and I feel my blood pressure rise. I give him an answer immediately.

“No way, Jason. The womanizer image is quite enough; that’s just overboard.”

“Harry, be reasonable. You don’t have that much leeway here. Sure, the picture, but we agreed to work together on this. I don’t think it’s too much to ask. It’s not like you’re sleeping with these women. They’re models. It’s their job.”

I refuse to do that to Louis. Surely, he’s still not comfortable about what Cara and I did; hell, he will never be comfortable with it and neither will I. Pictures of me posing in such a way will only make that worse. Doesn’t that collide with the idea of them helping us.

“No, Jason, I wo-“

Louis cuts me off, putting his hand on my shoulder.

“It’s fine.”

“What?”

Jason is grinning, but I can’t hide my shock.

“Harry, it’s the only way. It’s just modeling. You have to see me kissing Eleanor all the time. This will be the same.”

I can’t believe what I’m hearing. I don’t want to do this and I know it won’t be healthy for Louis and I.

“Louis, it’s worse, though. I-“

“Harry, just sign the contract.”

He looks upset, but I know that he’s right. It is the only way. Without Jason’s help, we’ll hardly see each other. This is just the next best thing. Louis picks up his contract and we read them both over multiple times, making sure to read all of the fine print. It’s the usual: full access to social media, ability to speak in their behalf, permission to schedule interviews with whoever they please. These things are really difficult to get around, so we really have no choice. After several minutes, Jason calls in a witness. Louis takes the pen off of the desk and scribbles his name on the dotted line, after which the witness signs and stamps the proof of her presence. I raise a shaky hand and do the same, signing to things I don’t agree with, as always. The woman takes the paper and does the same as she did with Louis’ and hands them to Jason. He signs both, ensuring that he will hold up his end of the deal and the witness signs the papers again to acknowledge his signature.

“Alright. That’s it. Don’t fuck it up, or I can make your life a living hell.”

He always likes to end our meetings by inspiring fear, as if we forget that he can ruin us. Louis and I stand up without saying a word and walk to the door. We continue to walk as he calls out to me.

“Harry, you have your first meeting with Armani on Friday!”

_Can’t wait._

Louis’ hand brushes over mine inconspicuously as we wait for the lift to arrive. Once it does, we step through the doors and wait for them to close. I lean against the wall and take a deep breath as Louis presses the “Lobby” button. We start to defend and as we approach the eighteenth floor, he presses the “STOP” button.

“Louis, what are you-“

He cuts me off with his lips. They move against mine desperately, his body pinning me against the wall roughly.

“He likes to watch surveillance, yeah? Let’s give him something good to watch.”

My face goes pale as he attacks my neck, resting his hands on my hips before snaking them behind and squeezing my bum. I moan at his touch and let my lips curl into a devious grin. This could be fun.

“Oh, Harry!”

So, I guess we plan on being extra vocal today. I’m fine with that. I grab his belt loops and turn him around, slamming his against the wall and kissing him as I feel him through his pants. He groans again and I hum against his lips.

“I want to taste you, Lou.”

I really just wanted to freak Jason out, but now I need Louis. I lower myself onto my knees and pull at his shirt with my teeth as I unbutton his pants, yanking them down with his boxers. I hold his half-hard length in my hand and start to stroke it gently as I maintain eye contact. He looks at me longingly, begging me with his eyes.

“Do you want me to suck you, Louis?”

“YES, suck me _hard_! Please!”

The raspiness in his voice has already made me hard and i don’t plan on wasting much more time. I bring my lips to his member, running my tongue across the tip, gathering pre-cum to lather over the entirety of his length. I wrap my lips around him and hollow my cheeks as I bob my head down, taking him to the back of my throat. He whimpers as I feel his body shake. I moan against him, the vibrations of my voice making his breath hitch. His hand finds its way to my head, his fingers plunging into my hair, guiding my mouth around him. I suck as hard as I can every time I pull back before roughly taking him in again. He tries to breathe, but only panting escapes. Suddenly, he pulls me off of him and tugs on my hair until I return to standing. He pushes me against the wall, my chest hitting it harshly and my palms rest on the rail below me. He pulls my pants down and lets them fall to my feet. He bounces his hand back and forth between my legs and I spread them as far as possible with my pants constricting my ankles. His lips rest on my back as his right hand trails to my mouth. He slips two fingers between my lips and I suck on them, making sure to leave behind as much spit as possible to make it less painful for me. He pulls his fingers out and brings them straight to my ass. As soon as he starts to massage around my entrance, I push back into his touch. He slowly slides one finger in, stretching me before entering the second. I push back more letting him know that I’m ready for the real thing. He pulls his fingers away and holds onto my left hip as he guides his member to my bum.

“Hold on tight, Harry.”

I grip onto the railing even tighter than before and my knuckles go white as he slowly pushes into me. He enters me wholly and stays there for far too long.

“Dammit, Lou. Move. Please.”

I beg with the side of my face against the cold metal wall and he doesn’t disappoint. He pulls back and slams into me. I can tell the difference in not having lubricant, but the raw desire makes me not care one bit.

“Shit, Hazz. You feel so good. You’re so hot.”

His hands are now both gripping my hips and his fingertips dig into my side. I can feel bruises forming and I have to admit that it feels good. He lets go on the left side, snaking his arm around to grip my throbbing length. He holds his hand there as his thrusts push me into it. The movement of our bodies is fluid and rough. His teeth prod into my shoulder blade and I feel skin tear under his bite. I yell out in delight as he slows his thrusts, making each one count as he pulls back and hammers into me. He curses into my ear under his breath and I feel a building in the pit of my stomach as he starts to really pump his hand up and down around me. All of the sudden, his hand is gone and he focuses on burying himself into me. After a few more thrusts he comes undone, my name spilling out of his mouth uncontrollably. As soon as he’s done, I feel his breathing slow and he pulls out, not waiting a second before flipping me around and kneeling in front of me. I can’t even move my arms. They dangle at my sides as I lean back against the wall. He takes me into his mouth, immediately sucking and bobbing quickly up and down my length.

“Ohhhhh, god. I’m close, Lou.”

He finishes me off in less than a minute and I explode in his mouth, screaming loudly through it. He gulps loudly and pulls away, standing up again and pulling my pants up, followed by his. I still can’t move as he buttons and zips my jeans. He walks over and presses the lift button again and within seconds, the elevator jumps, moving down once again. 

“They’re just lucky I didn’t let you come on the floor.”

He winks at me and as soon as the doors open, he flicks off the hidden camera and pulls me by my arm to the exit.

 

 


	29. Chapter 29

**LOUIS’ P.O.V.**

“Hazz! You have to see this!”

I sit in my bed, on top of the covers. Harry and I just took a lovely shower and I still haven’t gotten dressed completely. Harry is brushing his teeth when he appears in the doorway with a towel draped low around his hips. When I see him, I almost forget why I called him in here.

“What, Lou?”

I snap myself out of it and look back at my phone, laughing once again when I see the email.

“Jason saw the video.”

I smirk at Harry and his lips curl into a devious grin. He holds his finger up for me to wait a second as he turned back to the bathroom. I hear the faucet run and he spits a few times before re-appearing. He hurries over and flops on the bed excitedly, his towel opening enough for me to get distracted again.

“Okay, let’s read this.”

I shake my head again, trying to focus my attention on something besides Harry’s dick. I look back at my phone and grin as I start to read it aloud.

“Dearest Larry,”

This is already hilarious.

“Could you please stop being pains in _my_ ass and sticking to just being a pain in _each other’s_ asses? I see you’ve gotten started on that. However, your fucking fans hack everything, so could you please keep your fucking dicks in your pants in my building? Leave it for the privacy of your homes. Don’t make me regret this shit.”

Harry is currently rolling in laughter and I’m having trouble finishing the email. Jason’s never sounded so unprofessional. 

“Enjoy your weekend because Harry will be in in Milan for a week starting Monday. We’re waiting to hear back from Cara on her availability and if she’s unavailable, we will find someone else to send with you. Don’t forget about your meeting with Armani on Friday at noon. I’m going to go wash my eyes with soap now. Thanks for that.

Insincerely, Jason.”

The laughter receded a bit when I read the part about Harry leaving, but it picked back up when he mentioned washing his eyes. Harry smiles at me and pecks me on the cheek.

“I think we’ve accomplished something grand.”

“I agree.”

I lean over and rest my head on Harry’s chest as he plays with my damp hair.

 “How about we have the guys over tomorrow night for dinner? We haven’t spent time with them in a while.”

“Are you cooking?”

I know he’s being sarcastic, so I just laugh.

“Well, you’re at least helping, Lou.”

“You’ll have to convince me.”

He hums and I feel it vibrate through his chest.

“I’d love to.”

Before I can even sit up, he flips himself over, rolling onto me. His bare chest on mine causes my thin boxers to get tighter. I reach down and in one motion rip the towel off of him, tossing it to the side and it lands on the edge of the mattress. 

“Hold on, let me text the lads before we get carried away.”

He sighs and allows me to move ever so slightly to reach for my phone. I create a group message.

*TO: Niall; Zayn; Liam

We would like to cordially invite you to dinner tomorrow night at my place. 7 pm work? Okay, turning my phone off. Don’t bother us ;) 

<3 Lou & Hazza*

I place my phone back on the nightstand after ensuring its silence. I roll over and push Harry onto his back, rolling onto him to take over. He grins and lifts his head up to kiss me. His lips move against mine and I groan in anticipation as I feel him harden under me. He brings his mouth to my ear, hissing gently.

“You just can’t get enough of me today, can you love?”

“Never can, Harry.”

I dig my hips into his and the friction is heavenly. 

“I want you to ride me, Lou.”

I guess it is time to give his bum a break. I like bottoming on top. It makes me feel in control and submissive at the same time.

“I like when you tell me what you want, Hazz. Such a turn on.”

I kiss him again and reach over to the nightstand on his side, pulling out a small bottle of lube. He snatches it out of my hand, breaking our kiss. He sets the bottle down on the bed and tugs at my boxers. I prop myself up on my knees and he pulls them down my thighs and I lift one leg at a time to remove them completely. Once I’m free, he takes my length in his hand and starts to slowly stroke it.

“Oh, god.”

I moan loudly and he quickens the pace, sitting up and kissing me as he does. His other hand holds my cheek softly, brushing my almost dry hair behind my ear.

“Tell me how that feels, Lou.”

“Feels SO fucking good, Harry.”

I groan again and start to roll my hips again into his large fingers. After another minute, I stop him by holding his wrist and pulling his hand away. He gets my intentions and grabs the bottle of lubricant, pouring a decent amount in his palm. He rubs it between both hands and with one, he strokes himself, lathering his member generously. With his other hand, he reaches around to my bottom, pulling my cheeks apart and slipping one finger into me. He spreads some of the gel around me and doesn’t take very long prepping me. I don’t mind one bit.

I sit up farther and position myself over his throbbing length and he holds it in place as I lower myself onto him. He’s big. I haven’t had him inside me since... well, since that awful night last week. This time, though, I look at the softness in his eyes and I know I have nothing to worry about. He brings both of his slick hands to my hips and guides me as I slowly pull myself up his long member and back down. He fills me completely and there’s still plenty of him to go. I start to bounce and is hands easily slide up and down my body, making it slimy with the lubricant left on them.

“Oh, Jesus Lou. Fuck. You’re so tight.”

I try to speak, but only moans emit, followed by gasps and hissing.

I rest my hands on his chest and lower my face to meet his, kissing him softly. I let him sink into me deeper and once I feel his thighs touch my ass, I keep him there, focusing on his lips. I rock back and forth, feeling his member massage my prostate and I start to lose my mind. I sit back up and continue to ride him, holding his hands on my hips. He wriggles one free and holds my length in his hand, pumping it roughly as I quicken my pace. Soon enough, I feel myself reaching my climax and he starts to ram his hips upwards. I can tell he’s close as he moans my name over and over, cursing under his breath.

“Shit, Hazz, I’m gonna come!”

I warn him so he has the choice to stop me from exploding on his chest, but he pumps me more vigorously and I feel his release inside of me as I scream and spill over in his hand, cum sliding down his arm and onto his chest. I rock back and forth a few times before dismounting him and collapsing in his arms.

“I think we’re gonna need another shower.”

_________

 

**HARRY’S P.O.V.**

I already regret sending Louis to the store in my place. His voice booms through the phone speaker.

“ _Harry! I don’t know what that is!_ ”

“It’s an herb. Go to the spices and look for Tarragon.”

He’s silent and after a couple minutes, I hear him speak again.

“ _Ohhhh. I found it. Is that the last thing you need?_ ”

“Yes, that’s it. Thank you, Lou. Get your pretty ass back here.”

“ _Yes, sir_.”

I chuckle and hang up, returning my attention to the stove. I stir the rice and check on the chicken. I didn’t feel like baking, so Louis is bringing back a pie. I hope it’s good; I’m not too confident with his grocery shopping skills. I reach for the salt and pour a bit onto the vegetables. I set it on the counter, but it spills everywhere.

“Shit.”

I grab a plate and start to push the salt off of the counter with my hand. I small line of white crystals is left on the granite and when I notice it, unwanted thoughts rush through my mind and my skin starts to itch. I haven’t even thought about cocaine since I got it out of my system. Why now? Why do I want it? I scratch my arms anxiously and sit on the floor. The feeling has completely overtaken my body and I start to shake. It seems like hours, but after a few minutes, Louis walks into the flat. He runs over to me and kneels at my side.

“Harry! Are you alright?”

I look into his eyes and try to bring myself back to reality.

“J-Just craving.”

He looks at the counter and sees the spilled salt.

“Harry, listen to me. You’re fine, alright? You don’t need that! You have me. Look at me; I’m right here!”

I listen to every word he says and hang on to them as I feel my breathing balance out. I stop shaking and reach my arms out to him. He collects me in a tight hug and I feel tears stream from my eyes, blurring my vision.

“God, Lou. Why am I so fucked up?”

“You’re not, Harry. I’m proud of you for getting out when you did. It’s okay, love. I’ve got you.”

I sob on his shoulder and hold him close.

“I don’t deserve you, Lou.”

“I love you so damn much, Harry. Nothing could ever change that.”

I force a smile and he pulls away, wiping the tears running down my cheeks.

“I love you more than you’ll ever know, Louis.”

He smiles kindly and looks back at the stove.

“C’mon Hazz. Let’s finish dinner. I did promise you I’d help.”

_________

**LIAM’S P.O.V.**

*knock knock*

Louis appears at the door and hugs each of us as we walk in.

“So good to see you guys again.”

I smile and his eyes shift to meet mine nervously. I could guess that he didn’t want me to bring up this weekend.

“Yeah, it’s been too long. We haven’t seen either of you in forever!”

I walk over to Harry, who is leaning against the kitchen counter looking a hell of a lot better than the last time I saw him. I hug him and whisper into his shoulder.

“I’m so glad it all worked out.”

I pull away and he’s grinning uncontrollably.

“Me too.”

His glance shoots to Louis and I can tell that everything is okay.

“So, what’s for dinner.”

Harry rolls his eyes and walks over to Niall, hugging him as he responds.

“Sit down and you’ll find out.”

He hugs Zayn and walks back to the kitchen as we sit at the table, which is already made. Plates are set out for each of us, napkins and utensils next to it.

“I made the table.”

Louis looks proud of himself and we all chuckle. Zayn gives him a high five.

“Good for you, Lou.”

“What are we drinking tonight?”

Harry calls out from the kitchen.

“Wine! I have a bottle that’ll go perfectly with the food.”

He appears again, balancing two large dishes in his hands.

“Unless you guys want something else.”

We all shake our heads and Niall answers.

“Wine sounds good to me.”

Once Louis has retrieved glasses and Harry has the wine and food set out, they both sit down. We pass the bottle and pour a bit in each of our glasses. We each take a piece of chicken, some rice, and vegetables on our plates. We make conversation as we eat. 

“Really good, Harry.”

Louis looks offended and shoots a glare at Zayn.

“Hey, I helped!”

Everyone chuckles and Louis eventually joins.

“So, Louis. How was France?”

Louis’ gaze moves from Niall to Harry and back to Niall.

“Hasn’t been the best month of our lives. Glad I’m back though.”

“We are, too. Harry was quite the grump.”

Niall doesn’t realize what he’s doing, but Harry looks embarrassed. Zayn seems to notice the awkward looks exchanged and I see his curiosity peak. Thankfully, he looks at me before speaking and I subtly shake my head in disapproval. I decide it’s a good time to change the subject.

“We should do something fun next week!”

This doesn’t seem to change the mood. Harry looks at Louis and Louis speaks for him.

“Harry here is now an underwear model. He’ll be in Italy.”

Everyone exchanges glances now and Zayn ignores my pleading looks advising him not to speak.

“What’s going on exactly?”

Harry drops his fork and runs his fingers through his hair.

“I have a cocaine addiction.”

Everyone looks around awkwardly and Louis holds Harry’s hand in his own. Niall looks completely shocked and Zayn rests his hand on Harry’s shoulder.

“I could tell you’ve been acting strange.”

That’s really not helpful, Zayn.

“Well, I’m getting through it now. With Louis’ help. And Liam’s.”

“What the hell? Liam knew, but Zayn and I didn’t?”

“Hey, I only found out the other day and I just cleaned up his flat.”

Harry grins at me solemnly.

“You did more than that, Li. Thank you.”

I nod and turn back to my food as Louis speaks.

“He’s not doing it anymore-“

“No, but I started craving it today and I’ve realized it’s going to be harder than I expected. I’ll need you guys’ help and I don’t know why I didn’t tell you sooner. You probably could have done a lot more than I did for myself. I’m sorry if I acted like a dick.”

“It’s alright, Hazz. We just figured you missed Louis.”

“I did, yeah. I just handled it the wrong way.”

He takes a sip from his wine and I can see that his hand is shaking. He didn’t want to tell them because he didn’t want everyone to be as disappointed in him as he is in himself.

“Harry,” I pause and wait for him to look at me, “I’m proud of you.”

“We all are.”

Niall smiles and continues looks at his empty plate. Harry smiles and for a second, I think I see a glisten in his eyes; probably a tear. He sniffs it away and stands up smiling. 

“Who’s ready for dessert?”

 

 


	30. Chapter 30

**LOUIS’ P.O.V.**

“It’s going to be alright, Harry. I promise.”

We stand by the front door holding onto each other, not wanting to let go. Harry’s suitcase is sitting against the wall and every time my eyes shift in its direction, I feel my stomach turn. I can’t tell Harry, but I’m really nervous about him going to Italy. I talked him into this and if I show him how scared I am, he’ll be even more worried than he already is.

“I really don’t wanna go, Lou. I don’t want to leave you.”

“I know, love. I don’t want you to leave me either. But, it’s only a week and I’m going to plan the most wonderful date when you get back.”

I pull away from our embrace and raise myself up on my toes to kiss his forehead.

“I love you, Harry. It won’t be that bad.”

“I love you, Louis. So much.”

He leans down and pulls me close to him as he kisses me, interlocking our lips in a desperate act. I can’t say that I like the idea of him and Cara in Italy for a week, but I trust him more than I thought I would. I’ve seen in the past week how much he regrets what he did and I’m really not concerned that he’ll sleep with Cara again. It was a fluke. He’s promised me so many times that it won’t happen again.

“Be safe, Hazz. I can’t wait until you’re back.”

I leave one last kiss on his jaw and open the door for him.

“Bye, Lou. I’ll call you before I take off.”

I watch as he pulls his suitcase out the door and makes his way to the car waiting outside. He waves as he climbs in and I close the door as soon as he’s out of sight.

I walk over to the couch and bury my face in my hands. This just feels like the worst time for them to take him from me again. That’s what they want though. No matter what Jason says or does, he’ll never be accepting of our relationship. I turn on the telly and search for something to distract me. I settle on a football match, pulling out a beer from the fridge before sitting back at the couch.

About an hour into the game, my phone buzzed repeatedly.

“Hey, love. You about to take off?”

His reply is soft and almost nervous.

“Uh, yeah. Cara isn’t coming though.”

I’m shocked, but I can’t say I’m as disappointed as he sounds.

“That’s too bad. So you’ll just be alone?”

“Well, that’s the thing Jason wants it to seem like I’m there with friends, partying and stuff.”

“So, you’ll be with some other model or something?”

I don’t know what’s more comforting: Cara or some girl I don’t know.

“Well, not exactly.”

“I don’t get where this is going, Harry.”

“It’s Grimmy.”

“What?”

He knows how I feel about his friend, Grimmy. Hell, everyone knows how I feel about him. I don’t like him. He’s always been jealous of what Harry and I have. Who knows what he’d do to have Harry to himself. 

“Louis, I know he isn’t your favorite person, but it’ll be alright. I promise.”

“I don’t know...”

Maybe I’m overreacting. Nick hasn’t done anything to earn my complete hatred, but I don’t trust him with Harry.

“I wouldn’t have picked him if I had any other choices-“

“You picked him? Really, Harry?”

“Louis, who else is there? Why would any of the lads would want to go to Milan for a fashion shoot? That’s right up Nick’s alley! It just makes sense.”

“It just irritates me that you would plan for him to go to Italy with you and not call me first.”

“Louis! I’m on the phone with you now! I just got off with Jason and he finalized the plans. It’s not like I’ve been planning this behind your back all week.”

Has he? Why else would he say that?

No, I’m just freaking out for no reason. I think.

“Harry, I just don’t trust him.”

“Why? He’s never done anything. He’s my friend, Louis! You’d really rather me be all by myself over here than to have Nick come with me? That’s pretty selfish of you.”

What the hell? Everything has been great for me and Harry the past few days. It only takes one phone call to ruin everything.

“I’m not being selfish! After the month we’ve had, I’m just a little on edge! I think I have every right to be!”

“Louis! I’m not going to do anything stupid. I promise. I love you!”

I trust him. I do. I’ll just have to suck it up for the week and just keep tabs on him.

“I’m sorry, Harry. I’m just- I don’t like him.”

“I know, Louis. I would bring someone else if I could.”

“I know. I love you, baby. I hope you have a good flight. Is he with you already?”

“No, he’s meeting me there in a few hours.” 

“Alright. Call me when you land.”

“Of course-“

I hear the speakers through the phone interrupt him.

“Okay, I have to turn my phone off. Love you, Louis.”

“Love you, Hazz. I’ll talk to you soon.”

I sit back on the couch as I hang up and just stare at my phone. I so badly want to call Jason and tell him off. That wouldn’t help anything, though. But, maybe if I say something to Nick...

*TO: Grimmy

Heard about your little getaway. I just hope you know that even though Harry trusts you, I don’t. If you lay one hand on him, I will seriously fuck you up. If you have an ounce of decency in you, you’ll respect our relationship. I won’t hesitate to beat your ass if you try to take what is mine. And Harry is mine.*

I hit send before Harry’s voice of reason can creep into my thoughts and tell me not to. I stare blankly at the TV and await his impending snide reply. About a minute later, it arrives and he does not disappoint.

*FROM: Grimmy

Ah, the jealous boyfriend. It’s quite funny because if you had any ownership of him, wouldn’t you be the one boarding a plane to Milan right now? Oh, yeah... You can’t be seen with him. I can, though and we are going to have SO much fun. ;) Don’t worry, we’ll send you a postcard! Arrivederci, bitch.*

That bastard. I toss my phone aside and take a deep breath. He makes me want to punch things. He has such nerve! What gives him the right to say shit like this to me? I don’t understand why Harry lets him get away with it, too. He always laughs it off and says, _‘oh, Lou... He’s just joking. Stop taking everything so seriously’._ Harry can be so naive sometimes. There’s no way Nick is just messing with me. I see how he looks at Harry. He wants him so badly, but I’m almost always around to stop him from making his move. Now, I’m stuck on my couch while he galavants around Milan with _my_ Harry. 

I consider texting him back, but I know it won’t get me anywhere. It’ll just make things worse. Instead, I decide to post a vague tweet that will be like a stab in his chest.

 

**_Flashback:_ **

_“Louis, meet Nick.”_

_An intoxicated Grimmy extends his hand to me and I take it reluctantly. I’ve met him before briefly, but not informally like tonight._

_“Nice to meet you.”_

_He smiles and pulls me away from Harry’s side into a one-armed hug, almost spilling his drink on me._

_“The pleasure’s all mine, Lou! Can I call you that? Lou?”_

_“Uh, yeah. Sure.”_

_Harry is standing there, laughing at his idiot of a friend as I pull away. I feel Harry’s hand skim over my lower back and chills travel through my body. I didn’t want to come to this stupid party, but as always, anything for Harry. So, this is the guy he’s been hanging out with. I don’t like him. Sure, we’ve only been together for about a year, but we’re definitely exclusive and I don’t like the thought of him running around with an openly gay man when we aren’t together._

_“So, Harry. When are you going to take me up on that night of partying you promised?”_

_“Oh, I don’t know Nick! What are we doing right now?”_

_Harry chuckles nervously and looks at me._

_“This isn’t what I meant!”_

_He playfully pins Harry against the wall just behind us and Harry stops laughing._

_“Nick-“_

_“Harry, just kiss me. Just once.”_

_I look around at the few other people on this side of the room, but none of them seem to notice these events. Just as I move to pull Grimmy away from my boyfriend, Harry pushes him away._

_“No, Nick. I h-have someone.”_

_“What? You’re single, though!”_

_Harry walks over to me and wraps his arm around my waist. My anger is obvious at this point. It takes Nick a moment to realize what Harry meant, but he finally does and scowls at me._

_“What the hell, Harry? Why him?”_

_“Because we’re in love.”_

_“Oh, so this has been going on for a while, has it?”_

_He doesn’t seem to feel any better about it, which pisses me off more. He acts like he was around first, when nothing could be farther from the truth._

_“Yeah, it’s really great to have something everyone else wants.”_

_I wink at him and take a sip of my drink, locking eyes with the irritated man as he looks between Harry and I._

_“Really?”_

_“Yeah, Nick. I’m sorry. You weren’t supposed to find out. We kind of have to keep it a secret.”_

_“Well, yeah, I’d imagine so.”_

_His expression softens a bit, but I’m still angry about the move he made on my Harry._

_“Your secrets safe with me.”_

_Sure it is._

**_Present Day:_ **

*@Louis_Tomlinson: It’s really great to have something everyone else wants*

I don’t even care how much of a twat this tweet makes me look like. People will say what they want about it, but only Grimmy and Harry will know exactly what I mean. I post it and close the app before my phone goes ballistic and freezes from the likes, replies, and retweets.

Harry is going to kill me.

 


	31. Chapter 31

**HARRY’S P.O.V.**

Great. Louis is pissed at me and I can’t do anything about it from the jet. Really, I can’t do anything about it from anywhere. Louis hates Nick and nothing is going to change that. I just hope we can make it through this week without any major dramatic developments. Nick is a nice guy, he just really likes messing with Louis. Sure, I’ll admit he came onto me before he knew about our relationship, but since then, he’s been completely harmless. I suppose he just enjoys seeing Louis’ reaction to his idea of a joke. The funny thing about it is, they are so similar; especially in their humor. Louis just takes things personally and I sort of love that. He’s very protective of me and for me to be around a gay man automatically feels like a threat to him.

“Sir, can I get you something to drink?”

The flight attendant interrupts my thoughts and I blink a few times before meeting her gaze.

“Sure. Can I get a gin and tonic?”

“Right away, sir.”

I don’t understand why they pay a flight attendant to wait on me for such a short flight, especially on such a small jet where I can easily get things for myself. I’ve learned not to argue with it and simply let the poor girl do her job. I pull out this mornings newspaper and skim the articles, finding nothing that interests me. When the girl brings my drink back, I shuffle through my bag and find my journal. I start to doodle some nonsense before  I start to write.

_*I can’t screw up. I can’t let my cravings take over. I can’t let Louis down. I can’t let myself down. I have to be strong. If I give in, it could ruin absolutely everything. I got lucky last time that Louis picked up the pieces, but I can’t expect him to just follow me around with a broom and dustpan. If I feel tempted in Milan, I have to remember Louis. That should be enough; I can call him. SOMETHING.*_

I stop writing and re-read my affirmation about ten times. Repeating these words to myself, I close the leather book and place it back in my bag. I finish my drink and set it on the nearby glass table for the attendant to refill and rest my head on the back of the seat. Before I know it, I drift off into a light, uncomfortable sleep.

_________

“Sir, we’re about to land.”

My eyes flutter open and the young woman is standing in front of me.

“Oh okay. Erm. Thanks.”

I shake away the fogginess in my head, but I just feel grumpy. My neck hurts and I wish I was home with Louis. I cross my arms after ensuring that my seat belt is fastened and look out the window during our slow descent. 

As soon as we land, I turn my phone off of airplane mode and notifications flood in. I ignore them all and grab my bag, walking toward the stairs of the small jet plane. After exiting, a black car is waiting for me about twenty yards ahead and I toss my bag in before climbing in the back seat. Once the driver starts to pull away and head to wherever I am meant to go first, I look at my phone again. I dial Louis’ number and hold it to my ear as it rings.

“‘Ello.”

“Hey, Lou. I landed.”

“Good, I’m glad you’re safe. Did you like just land or have you been there a bit?”

“I just landed and got in the car. Haven’t even looked at my phone yet.”

“Ahh. In that case, I’m going to ask that you please refrain from hating me when you go on twitter.”

I sigh and run my fingers through my hair. He can’t just let things go. He has to make some huge scene.

“Lou- what did you do?”

“Uhh. You’ll see.”

“Great.”

“I love you?”

“I’ll let you know my response after I see the mess you made.”

He chuckles nervously and I maintain my stern tone. I put the phone on speaker and start to open the twitter app.

“Harry, it’s not that bad. Really.”

“We’ll see. I’m checking it now.”

“Like right now?”

“Yep.”

I go to the search bar and start to type in Louis’ name. The first tweet on the list is exactly what he’s talking about.

*@Louis_Tomlinson: It’s really great to have something everyone else wants*

“Louis!”

“What? It’s true!”

“Lou- it was rude when you said it to him years ago. It’s just a jab at the wound now. Nick doesn’t like me anymore and you’re just going to make him pissed off.”

“Harry! That’s not fair. He-“

“Louis, he didn’t do anything besides help me out by flying to Italy. You have no reason to be mad at him.”

“Yes, I do! He said some really rude things to me today!”

“Oh, really? Like what?”

 

**LOUIS’ P.O.V.**

Just as I suspected, Harry is taking Nick’s side and doesn’t even want to hear what he said. I can guarantee it; he’ll say he’s just joking and that I take things to seriously.

“Never mind, Harry. I know you won’t care.”

He takes a deep breath and waits a while before replying.

“Louis, I love you so much. I would give anything to leave this damned country and come home to you, but I can’t. It’s out of my control and we have to remember that it’s meant to help us be together in the long run.”

“I know, Harry. I’m just scared.”

“I am, too! I don’t want to be away from you. What if I do something stupid!”

“You won’t, Harry. I do trust you. I just don’t trust Nick.”

“I know, I know. It’s the same every time, but nothing ever happens. So, don’t worry, love. How about you start moving some of my things back over to your place?”

I’ve been begging him all week, but he hasn’t made a decision, even though he hasn’t left my place the entire time.

“You’re sure? We never finished talking about that.”

“Yeah, Lou, I’m sure. I want to be with you all the time. It’s not like we didn’t used to live together. I miss it more than anything. Obviously, leave the furniture and stuff at mine, but take everything else to yours. It’ll give you something to do besides start shit online.”

We both chuckle and I sit up from the couch I’ve been napping on. The football match is over and now there are just men talking about the game. I press the power button and yawn loudly.

“Did you take a nap, too?”

“Yeah, you slept on the plane?”

“A bit. It was totally uncomfortable. I’m used to having you to lay on.”

“Aww, poor Hazz. Well, I wish I was with you. Watch out for Grimshaw.”

“Lou-“

“I’m kidding, babe.”

I wasn’t.

“Okay, I love you.”

“I love you, baby. Text me when you’re all settled in.”

I hang up feeling at least a tad better about him being gone. At least he didn’t flip shit about my tweet; but, it didn’t change that Nick is on his way to spend a week on holiday with my boyfriend. I’ll never be comfortable with that. I don’t know how anyone expects me to be. I search my contacts and finally settle on calling Niall.

“Hey-o.”

“Hey, Ni. What are you up to today?”

“Nothin. Still in my Pj’s.”

“Me too. Do you want to hang out?”

“Sure! I’ll get dressed and head over.”

“Actually meet me at Harry’s.”

“Didn’t he leave today?”

“Yeah, but we’re gonna start moving his things back over here.”

“Awww. Okay! I’ll see you there in twenty.”

I hopped up and walked to my room to put on some sweats and a new T-shirt. I slip on a pair of van’s and fix a beanie on my head before grabbing my phone and keys and walking out the door. I unlock my car before I reach it, glancing around to make sure no one is about to mob me. I climb into my Porche and pull away toward Harry’s flat. Within a few minutes, I park and hop out as quickly as possible, avoiding any human contact. I unlock the door and walk into the half empty flat. He told me he destroyed things, but this is more than I expected. Half of the decor is gone, including pillows and one of the paintings. I sit on the couch and wait impatiently for Niall to arrive. This place brings back so many unforgettable memories. Mostly good, but one final devastating one. 

I rest my elbows on my knees and look over into the kitchen. This is where I always watched Harry make breakfast after a long night. I move my gaze to the dining area and chuckle to myself as I remember the first time we had our mums over for dinner. It was a disaster of sorts, but we all had a good time. Then, the living room. This very couch is where Harry always slept when we got into an argument. That makes me laugh even more, seeing as it’s his flat. I always got the bed, though, whether he was in the wrong or not. Finally, I turn my attention to the open bedroom door. The bed is stripped of sheets or any other covers. It reminds me of so many things. I was with him when he got that bed. They delivered it and as soon as they left, we cuddled up and just fell asleep. After we tried to have sex for the first time, Harry and I were on a new level. I can’t count how many times we’ve made love on that mattress. I feel stinging tears reach my eyes as I remember my most recent memory of that bed. I don’t hate Cara now, but in that moment, I wanted nothing more than to rip her apart. My chest hurts as I remember them sleeping when I walked in. 

My painful thoughts are interrupted by a knock. I walk over to the door and wipe some of the moisture from my cheeks as I open it.

“Hey, Lou!”

Niall pulls me into a bear hug and when he steps back and closes the door, his expression grows concerned.

“Were you crying?”

“No.”

He looks at me until I tell the truth.

“Yes, a little. I was just thinking about things. I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I am. I’m excited that Harry’s going to live with me again. Thanks for coming.”

I try to change the subject a bit because he doesn’t look very convinced. I turn and walk into the dreaded bedroom, facing away from the bed. I walk into his closet and take out a large suitcase, opening it and laying it on the floor. I open his drawers and toss his clothes into the suitcase. I know if he were here, he would flip out at how messy I was being. I’m going to make it nice when I get home.

“So, what can I do?”

“Uhh, I guess get stuff from the other drawers.”

Niall walks over to the bedside tables and empties out the top drawers on one side of the bed quickly. It only has some papers and a couple books. He makes his way behind me to Harry’s side of the bed and as he starts to open the first drawer, my eyes shoot open as I remember what’s inside.

“Niall, don’t-“

It’s too late. He clasps his hand over his mouth and faces me, eyes shot open. I can’t help but to laugh as he backs away toward the window.

“God, Lou! You should have warned me!”

“Sorry, I forgot!” 

Still giggling, I walk over with a smaller bag and empty the drawer full of lubricant, toys and one single camera. Once it’s empty, I check the bottom one to make sure it’s safe. 

“Okay, you’re good. I’ve got the unmentionables.”

He finally looks less terrified and lets out a small chuckle as he empties the last drawer, filled with more books and a few movies. I finish piling his clothes that are in drawers, filling the first suitcase to the brim. I close it and set the small bag of our sexual gear on top.

“If you wanna start in here, Niall, I’ll get his stuff from the bathroom.”

He nods and I point to another large suitcase, which he opens and starts placing hanging clothes in, almost as messily as I would have. I walk into the bathroom and begin gathering whatever is left over that he didn’t take to Italy with him. Once the bathroom is cleared out, I join Niall in the closet and within a half hour, Harry’s entire wardrobe is packed.

“Is that it?”

“Yeah, I think so. I don’t even know what to get from the kitchen. We bought two of everything anyway, so he has stuff at my place to cook with.”

“Okay, I’m guessing we have to put some of this in my car since yours will only fit that disgusting bag of yours.”

I burst out in laughter once more and rest my hand on his shoulder.

“Yeah, you’re probably right, but it’s all I need.”

I wink and he looks disgusted again.

“Come on, Lou. I don’t want to hear about that!”

“Sorry, you asked for it. Come on, let’s carry this stuff outside.”


	32. Chapter 32

**HARRY’S P.O.V.**

“Come on, Styles. We’re already late!”

Nick has been trying to get me to hurry for a while. I still don’t know how I let him convince me to go to a party. I guess it’s what management wants me to do. Be seen. 

“I’ll be out soon.”

I’m sitting on the floor in this oversized hotel bathroom. I’m terrified to go to a party. I know the type of people Grimmy hangs out with; the type of people who will have plenty of drugs, including the one I need to stay far away from. I just can’t drink. If I drink, I’ll do something stupid. After my sudden craving last week, I’m extremely nervous to be surrounded by temptation. Especially when Louis isn’t here. _Louis_. I should call him; he’ll make me feel better. I reach up to the counter and retrieve my phone, finding him on my favorites list quickly. It didn’t even ring.

“It’s Louis. Leave a message.”

* _Beep_ *

“Hey, love. I’m- well, I’m going to a party and I don’t want to. I’m scared. I just wanted to talk to you for a minute, but I guess your phone’s off. Probably dead, knowing you. Umm, call me when you get this. I love you.”

I set my phone down and take a deep breath before more knocks echo through the room.

“I’m coming, Nick!”

I stand up and make sure I look decent before opening the door.

“Jesus, what took you so fucking long?”

“I’m Harry Styles. Hair had to be perfect.”

I force a grin and Nick rolls his eyes, carrying his tumbler of whiskey toward the door, ready to go. I follow him reluctantly and we check that the door is locked behind us.

“Driver’s downstairs.”

I simply nod, even though I know he’s begging for some enthusiasm.

“Can’t wait to get fucked up! You’ll do a line with me, right?”

I shoot him a daring look.

“I told you, no more coke for me.”

“Harry, come on! Loosen up a bit. I know you miss your precious _boyfriend_ but you might as well make the best of this. You guys don’t get enough time apart anyway.”

I hate the way he says boyfriend sarcastically, as if Louis and I aren’t a serious thing.

“We’ve spent much more than enough time apart lately.”

“You two are literally _always_ together. You’re either on tour together or your hiding out in a flat somewhere. I haven’t seen you forever. You can at least pretend to be having fun.”

We wait for the lift and I look at him, finally realizing how much of a jerk I was being.

“You’re right, Nick, I’m sorry. I’m glad you’re here. Much better than Cara, too.”

We chuckle and he takes a sip of his nearly-gone drink as we step into the lift.

“Oh, come on, she’s not so bad.”

“Yeah, there’s a lot of drama I haven’t filled you in on quite yet. It’s all okay now, but it still would have been hell.”

“Yikes. Ya sleep with her or something?”

He doesn’t seem shocked really. Just a bit intrigued.

“That’s a long story.”

“Oh, shit! You totally slept with her. Bet Tomlinson’s a bit pissy.”

I really don’t like when he talks about Louis. In any way.

“He should be, but he isn’t. He’s been an angel through all of it.”

He scoffs and empties his glass.

“Sure, he has.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

I’m starting to see what Louis means when he says Nick has ulterior motives. He’s up to something.

“Damn, no need to get all defensive. I’m just saying; Louis has a bit of a temper.”

Louis does not have a temper. He’s just emotional. Why does he think I won’t defend Louis?

“I think there is a need to get defensive if you’re going to talk shit about my boyfriend.”

Nick raises his hands in sarcastic defeat as we step out of the elevator, needing to be quiet until we reach the car. We walk in silence, only passing a few people as we walk through the doors, emptying into a street filled with camera flashes and yelling. We manage to make it to the car and climb into the backseat before he speaks again.

“Look, i’m sorry. You know I’m joking about Louis.”

Actually, I know he isn’t. They’ve never gotten along and I’m just now realizing how much Nick dislikes Louis.

“Sure.”

We ride quietly the rest of the way, staring out opposite windows at the Milan city lights. It is a beautiful city, but all I can think of is how badly I wish Louis was sitting next to me, pointing out his favorite views. I grin remembering our first time in Japan. Every building seemed to enthrall him and he wanted to share every bit of it with me. I can’t wait until we can go on trips alone and not get in trouble for it. It was possible before management knew about our relationship, but even then, the media made it a big deal. After about fifteen minutes, the car slowed to a stop and the driver appeared at my window, opening the door. Screaming pours into the car as I climb out and squeeze through fans and paparazzi alike. I sign a few things and pose for a couple pictures, but soon find myself inside a large villa. I let Nick walk in front of me and follow behind, trying to avoid any conversation. I want to talk to Louis. I reach into my pocket and find nothing. _Shit_. I must have left my phone in the bathroom.

We make our way into a crowded room filled with flashing lights and loud music. I want to go home already. Normally, I would at least pretend to enjoy this, but knowing I won’t be going home to Louis after makes it simply irritating. Nick excitedly walks up to a man I’ve never seen before and hugs him tightly. He’s attractive, clean cut and well-dressed. Before Nick can disappear, I tap him on the shoulder.

“Look, I’m sorry about getting pissed off. Can I use your phone? I left mine back at the hotel.”

He rolls his eyes, grinning, and pulls his phone out of his back pocket.

“I’m sorry too.”

I nod and turn away to find a more quiet place. I make my way into the kitchen area and no one is around so I slide his phone unlocked. I type in the first few numbers of Louis’ number and find his name to saved as “Whiny Bitch” and roll my eyes as I press ‘call’.

“It’s Louis. Leave a message.”

I hang up before it can beep. I don’t want to leave another message. I really do want to talk to him, though. If I knew Eleanor’s number by heart, I would try her. I start to panic. How am I supposed to talk myself through this without Louis? My heart rate rises and  I gasp for air, trying to take deep breaths. I look around and see a bottle of vodka sitting on the counter. I find a glass and pour the clear liquid over ice, adding some juice from the fridge to dilute the alcohol. I take a sip, which turns into a chug, and finish the entire glass within a minute. My body grows warm and I shake away the bitter taste in my mouth as I pour more. I won’t drink a lot; I just need to calm down. After three drinks, I make my way back into the crowded room. I push through people dancing and easily find Nick, sitting on a couch next to a small coffee table. People surround him, including the guy he talked to when we first got here, as he leans down and presses his nose to the wood, snorting a long line of cocaine. I feel my palms sweat and I start to shake. This entire party was a bad idea. I knew that from the beginning.

“Styles! Get that arse of yours over here. I’ll set you up a line!”

I stand frozen, unable to move. I feel like crying. The white powder entices me to come closer and I know how good I’ll feel once I give in. I want it more than anything. Besides Louis.

But, if he never finds out, he can’t be upset. It’s not like it’ll happen again. This can just be my last time. I’ll do it tonight, feel great, and be done forever.

“Okay.”

“WOOOO!”

Grimmy yells excitedly and I walk over, sweat now dripping from my hairline. Nick takes a credit card from the table and separates a large pile of white powder, arranging a long thin line in front of me. He rolls a metal tube toward me and I take it in my quivering hands. My heart feels like it’s beating throughout my entire body as I lean down, setting the tube at the beginning of the line.

Something vibrates strongly in my pocket, snapping me out of my anticipation. I frantically pull Nick’s phone out and try to focus my blurred vision on the screen.

*Call from Whiny Bitch*

I drop the metal tube and cover one of my ears with my hand as I press the phone against the other.

“He-“

“GRIMSHAW! Where the fuck is Harry?”

“It’s me, Lou. I’m here.”

I stand up and turn away from the awful situation I had put myself in, ignoring the disappointed remarks of Nick and those surrounding him.

“I can hardly hear you.”

“One second.”

I make my way back to the quiet place in the kitchen I had found earlier.

“Louis?”

“Harry, god you scared me. Where the hell is your phone?”

“I left it back at the hotel.”

“Jesus, I’ve been trying to call you for a while!”

“I just tried calling you from Nick’s phone! Went straight to voicemail.”

“I must have been trying to call you.”

I take a deep breath, feeling a bit of relief at just the sound of his voice.

“Louis, I almost just did something really stupid.”

Uncontrollable sobs interrupt my speech, but Louis understands me.

“Harry, calm down, babe. I’m here. Talk to me.”

“I tried to call you at the hotel because I started freaking out. God, I shouldn’t have come.”

“I’m so sorry; Niall and I were getting your stuff from your flat and my phone must have died when we got food. I charged it when I got home. What happened?”

“They’ve got lines laid out on a table and I-I drank a little bit and just couldn’t hold back. If you didn’t call me... I was so close.”

I continue to cry, shaking as I wipe the tears off of my cheeks. Louis sighs loudly and I want nothing more than to lay on his chest and let him stroke my hair while I fall asleep.

“It’s okay, Harry. You didn’t do it. Just remember how bad detox was. Hold on to that. Can you go back to the hotel?”

I sniff and try to think.

“Probably. I’d have to get a car. I want to come home, Louis.”

“I know, baby. I want you home, too. It’s only the first day; You’ve gotta stick it out.”

His reminder makes tears fall again, this time whines escaping my mouth as well. I hear laughter and Nick appears in the doorway with another wasted man.

“Harry! What happened? You disappeared!”

He realizes I’m on the phone and giggles, turning to the strange man beside him and shushes him jokingly.

“Nick, can you get someone to call me a car. I wanna go back to the hotel.”

Nick pouts and nudges the man’s arm.

“Can you call for someone to get us? We’ll wait for you out front, Harry.”

He nods and takes his phone out, dialing a number and briefly mumbling into the phone in Italian.

“Thanks Nick.”

He grins and nods, turning to walk out of the kitchen with his friend. Louis grows impatient over the phone.

“What’s going on?”

“I guess we’re leaving.”

“Oh, so Nick is going with you?”

“Yeah, but some friend of his is also.”

“Great. I wish he’d let you go alone.”

I want to tell him my newfound realization about Nick, but decide he’ll just worry more.

“It’ll be alright, Lou. I think they’re an item of sorts. Haven’t left each other since we got here.”

“That’d be nice. I hope they are deeply in love and he never wants anyone else.”

I chuckle and wipe away any new tears.

“Kinda like us.”

“Exactly.”

“I love you so much, Lou. I’ll call you when I get back and find my phone.”

“You better. I love you more.”

I smile and hang up the phone, walking out to find Nick. He’s standing by the door with his friend, leaning against his shoulder and whispering in his ear. I clear my throat and they turn their heads abruptly, acknowledging me.

“Driver’s on his way. Harry, I want you to meet Nicco...”

I look him up and down as I extend my hand, formally meeting the guy I’ve been seeing all night. He’s... well, he’s really handsome. Manly, but feminine at the same time. Nick sees me eyeing him and glares before continuing.

“...My boyfriend.”

 _Boyfriend_? Nick can’t have a boyfriend! He’s my single friend. He doesn’t do serious relationships. Sure, it’s selfish of me, but it’s always been kind of an ego booster to have Nick pining after me. Okay, now my thoughts are really making me an asshole. I bet Nick didn’t even come to Italy to hang out with me. _Fantastic_ , I’m going to be stuck with him and his new boyfriend all week as the third wheel. God, I wish Louis were here.

“It’s great to meet you, Nicco.”


	33. Chapter 33

**HARRY’S P.O.V.**

The three of us pile into a small black car, Nick sitting between his new boyfriend and I. We stay quiet as Nicco directs the driver in Italian.

“So, Nick. How did you two meet?”

“We’ve actually been keeping in touch for a while.”

Why didn’t he tell me he was talking to someone? I always felt like we were close.

“Gee, thanks for telling me.”

Nick playfully punches my shoulder and drapes an arm around Nicco’s.

“No need to be jealous, Styles. We’re still mates. Took you long enough to tell me about-“

“I know. It’s fine.”

I’m nervous at his relaxed attitude toward Louis and I’s relationship. If he almost blurted it out right then, is it possible that Nicco already knows? I don’t know him; he can’t know about me and Louis.

I look at Grimmy and wait for him to make eye contact with me. I mouth the words ‘does he know?’ and Nick shakes his head, no. He doesn’t seem worried and I start to think perhaps he wasn’t going to say it out loud.

“Well, Nicco, I’m glad to meet you, even if Nick here never said anything.”

“Thanks, Harry. Same here. We just wanted to keep it quiet; he wanted to tell you.”

“I know how that is.”

I grin sheepishly and turn to stare out the window, admiring the lights against the night sky. Soon after, we pull up to the hotel we are staying at and it’s surprisingly empty on the sidewalks; probably because I made them leave early so no one was expecting us back now. Still, we hurry inside and make our way up the elevator and to the appropriate level.

“Do you want to come hang out with us for a while?”

Our rooms are connected, but I can tell they want alone time.

“No, it’s alright. I need to call Lo-someone, anyway.”

Nick pats my back and unlocks the door to his room as I turn the knob of mine. I walk in as Nick closes the adjoining door between our rooms. I stroll into the bathroom and immediately find my phone sitting on the floor where I knew I had left it. Seven missed calls and five texts. All from Louis. I grin and call him back.

“Hey, love. Guessing you’re back?”

“Yeah, just got here.”

We are both silent for a bit and I can hear the two next door giggling and chatting. I sit on the edge of my bed and see Nick’s light shut off.

“I wish you were here, Lou. I miss you already.”

“I know, babe. I miss you too. I’ve got a surprise for you when you get back.”

I smile and scold him instantly.

“You know I hate being surprised. Especially whenI know something is coming.”

“I know. I just want you to keep thinking about me while you’re over there. ‘What on earth could my lovely boyfriend be planning back home?’”

I scoff and lay back against the pillow. Soft whimpers and less talking seeps through the walls.

“As if I don’t think about you enough.”

“Hmm. Think about me how?”

“I’m not trying to be perverted, Lou.”

“No, but I am.”

I chuckle and pull my shirt and pants off to get more comfortable. A muffled moan echoes through my room and my breathing catches in my throat.

“Okay, fine.”

“Fine, what?”

“Let’s do this.”

It feels weird saying all of this out loud and I know he’s just trying to make me uncomfortable.

“Do what, Harry?”

“Talk dirty to me, Lou. I wanna touch myself to the sound of your voice.”

He didn’t expect that. I can tell.

“What are you wearing?”

I grin and relax my body, feeling myself grow harder as his voice gets soft and raspy. Moans emanate louder behind the door to Nick’s room and I feel guilty at how hot I find it.

“I’m in my boxers. The tight black briefs.”

“Mmm. I love those on you. Are you laying down?”

“Yeah, I’m in bed. What are you wearing?”

“I’m on the couch in a pair of sweats.”

“You should go in the bedroom; I don’t want cum stains on the couch.”

I hear fumbling through the receiver and chuckle as he curses under his breath.

“Always the domestic one, eh?”

“Always.”

I wait for a moment and listen as a banging on the wall ensues, the headboard pounding with each thrust, I would assume. I begin to palm myself through the thin fabric of my briefs and a small whimper escapes my lips.

“Getting started without me, Hazz?”

“Oh, sorry. You’re taking forever.”

He giggles and I can’t help but to smile at the cute noises he makes.

“I’m in bed now and don’t worry, I’ll be sure to wash the sheets before you come home.”

I pull at my boxers with my free hand and tug them down to the middle of my thighs, giving up once my member springs free. I can tell Louis has started to feel himself as his breathing grows louder and less rhythmic.

“Harry?”

“Yeah?”

“What do you want?”

“Surprise me.”

I wrap my hand around my girth, rubbing my thumb lightly over the slit and gathering pre-cum to spread down my length slowly. The banging on the wall mixed with Louis’ short, quick breaths sends chills down my spine.

“Imagine my hand in place of yours, gliding up and down your huge cock as I make hickies all along your neck.”

“Mmm. Keep going, Lou.”

“Moving my hand faster as you arch your back off the mattress like I love so much.”

I do as he says, pumping my hand quicker, lifting my back off the bed and breathing heavily.

“Just like that, babe.”

“Want your mouth, Lou.”

He breathes out loudly and a small moan emerges from his throat as the noise from the other room persists.

“Fuck, Harry. I’ll suck you off so good when you get back. My mouth around your tip, tongue swirling around...”

A grunt interrupts his speech and I close my eyes, trying my best to mimic his words with my hand. I’ve seen him do exactly what he’s describing so much that it’s effortless for me to picture his head between my legs, starting to take my length into his warm, wet mouth.

“Wanna fuck my mouth, Harry?”

“So bad, Lou. Shit...”

My breathing becomes erratic, creating a rhythm of its own. Louis imitates the sound of gagging and I picture him taking me deep down his throat, eyes watering. I tighten my grip around my member and move my arm faster and faster.

“Dammit Harry. The things I’d do to you...”

The tone in his voice is sending me in a convolution of ecstasy, as is the now rapid knocking of Nick’s bedpost on the wall.

“Lou, fuck. So.. Close.”

“Come for me, babe. Wanna hear you.”

It’s now impossible for us to speak in complete sentences, half of our words being incoherent. The banging on the wall slows and exaggerated whimpers flow under the door. Louis hums into the phone, his soft murmurs filling every part of my mind. A few more flicks of my wrist and I shut my eyes tight as I start to see stars behind my eye lids. I moan loudly and my brow furrows as I come hard, warm liquid spilling over my hand and onto my stomach. Louis follows soon after, screaming and panting what is supposed to be my name, and we both try to return our breathing to a normal rate.

“That...”

He can’t finish the sentence and I chuckle softly.

“I know.”

We lay in near silence for a few minutes and I feel comforted just knowing hearing his breathing.

“I can’t believe I almost screwed up tonight.”

“But, you didn’t love and I’m so proud of you.”

I smile even though he can’t see me.

“That should be enough to keep me going.”

“I’ll see you real soon, babe. Call me in the morning; you should get some sleep so you can get this modeling shit over with.”

“You’re right. Maybe I can get it done early and be back sooner. But...”

“But, what?”

“Will you stay on the phone until I fall asleep?”

He giggles and coos lightly.

“Of course. I love you so much, Harry.”

“I love you, Lou. More than you’ll ever know.”

I lay the phone next to me in the spot Louis would normally occupy and set it on speaker. Louis starts to hum softly like he always does when he holds me in his arms. I cuddle a pillow against my chest in his place, smiling as he yawns between light mumbles.


	34. Chapter 34

**LOUIS’ P.O.V.**

“I don’t know, El. I’m just glad he get’s back soon.”

I lean over and leave a kiss on her cheek. I don’t mind holding her hand in public and showing affection like this, but it really makes it difficult to have a conversation when we’re constantly looking around to make sure no one can hear us. We would be back at one of our flats, but I feel the need to use the time Harry is gone to make a lot of public appearances with Eleanor. That way, when Harry is home, we can lock ourselves away for a while.

“I’m glad he’ll be back, too. I’m sick of seeing you all mopey.”

“I’m not mopey!”

“Yes, you are.”

“Okay, maybe a bit. But, this whole separation shit is complete rubbish. I’m so sick of it all.”

She leans forward and takes a sip of her Starbucks, speaking softly now.

“You just have to remember what will be best in the long-run. If you and Harry came out now, it could completely ruin your career.”

I sigh and run my fingers through my messy hair.

“I know, El. If it weren’t for the other boys, I’d honestly say ‘fuck it all’. We would never dream of ruining this for them, though. They’ve become family to us; you too, Ellie.”

She grins and rests her hand on mine, trying her best to look deeply in love. I swear we must look more like brother and sister, but if Jason is happy, I’m not going to try any harder.

“Seriously, these past three years seem surreal. Like, wasn’t it yesterday when I met him in that bathroom? Now, I would do anything for him. I just wish we could go back to how it used to be or jump forward five years and hope things are all figured out.”

“I know, Lou. It’s not been easy for you guys and I hate seeing you two torn apart all the time. Where do you see yourself in five years; like, if you could jump forward, what do you think would be happening?”

I sit back and think, my mind roaming back to the many dreams I’ve had.

“Well, I imagine in five years, Harry and I will leave London, which it’ll take everything in me to convince him to do, and we’ll buy a house in the country somewhere. The boys will probably go off and do their own thing, but I don’t think there will ever be a time when we don’t keep in touch. I want to marry him, El. I want to adopt some kids and raise them together. I want us to finish growing up together and then, I want us to grow old together. We’ll be 86 and 84 and I could still never get enough Harry.”

I look back at Eleanor and she’s grinning from ear to ear, tears glazing her eyes.

“You’re such a sap, Lou.”

We both chuckle and I take a sip of my scalding coffee.

“I never used to be! This boy has ruined me.”

 

_____________

 

“Hey, Hazz.”

I had run into my room when I heard the phone ring and plopped down on the bed.

“Hi, boo. I just left the studio. I think I can get out of here in a couple days if I cooperate.”

He doesn’t seem enthusiastic until he mentions leaving early.

“Really? That would be fucking amazing! So, it’s going good?”

“I guess. It’s really weird. I don’t like posing in just my pants.”

“Yeah, I don’t like you posing in just your pants either. How many of the models came onto you today?”

He giggles and I can just picture his cheeks burning red.

“None, Lou.”

“Oh, come on, Harry. They all did, I’m sure.”

I try to eliminate the jealousy in my voice. I’m not really worried about his being around underwear models this whole time. I’m more anxious that he’ll go to another stupid party.

“Nah, Louis. They were nice; nothing else.”

I can tell he’s trying to be humble and thinks he’s calming my nerves.

“So, last night was fun.”

I really liked having phone sex with Harry. Knowing I can drive him wild just by talking to him is a real confidence booster. Plus, it was pretty great on my end, too. I doubt he’ll want to do it again today. Although, he did initiate it last night.

“Yeah,” he clears his throat and whispers, “Lots of fun.”

“You don’t have to talk quietly, Hazz. No one knows what you’re talking about.”

He chuckles and I hear him breathing into the receiver.

“I know. I’m just paranoid. I’m about to head back to the hotel, though...”

“Oh, really?”

“Yeah, d’ya- uh, wanna do it again?”

I grin, even though he can’t see me.

“Thought you’d never ask.”

He chuckles and I can hear the beep of car horns. He must be getting a cab.

“Oh, and Lou?”

“Yeah, baby?”

“I’m going to do the talking this time.”

I gulp as his voice goes deeper and soft. I feel my joggers get snug. I tug at them and kick them down to the edge of the bed.

“Are you getting ready for me, Louis?”

I hum a response and start to palm myself through my briefs ever so lightly.

“Mmm, Lou, text me until I get to the hotel. Until then, think about the first time I sucked you off.”

He hangs up and I close my eyes tight, sending my thoughts back a few years.

 

**_Flashback:_ **

_It’s been a month since Harry and I first kissed and it’s been like heaven. I can’t keep away from him; not even for a minute. It feels like a blessing that we’re on the X-factor and have an excuse to spend all of our time together. As soon as we make it to our bedroom after a long day practicing with the boys, Harry locks the door and comes up behind me. He wraps his arms around my waist and leaves chaste kisses along my neck. I turn to face him and rest my arms on his shoulders. Harry grins and places a small peck on my nose, making me giggle. I lean forward and pull him toward me, meeting my lips with his. I simply leave them there at first and then move them slowly against his lips. He tightens his grip around my waist and my hips meet his roughly. Things have been a bit tense in the past week. We’ve slept in the same bed for a while now, only cuddling and kissing, but the sexual tension has been building._

_“Lou-“_

_He breaks away from the now-heated kiss._

_“Yeah, Harry?”_

_I feel intoxicated from his touch._

_“I- I wanna try something.”_

_He’s nervous, I can tell. But, the way he speaks in a low, raspy tone, makes me feel like the world has stopped turning._

_“Anything, Haz. What is it?”_

_“Better if I just show you.”_

_He loops his fingers in my belt loops and pushes me with his hips toward the empty bed that hasn’t been touched in weeks. My knees hit the mattress and I fall backwards, toppling onto the comforter. Harry stands at the foot of the bed and finally crawls toward me on his hands and knees. He lowers his body so that it is barely touching mine and I wrap my arms around his waist, pulling him on top of me. He brushes a piece of hair out of my face and carefully removes my glasses, setting them on the nightstand. He holds my face on either side and starts to kiss me again._

_Our song becomes much more intense and he starts to move his body in unison with every kiss. I’ve been hard since the moment he pressed his hips into mine and now it’s becoming unbearable. Usually we’ll song and cuddle and as soon as he’s asleep, I’ll sneak off to the bathroom and have a good wank. This is much more sensual than I’m used to with Harry._

_“God, Harry, you’re so hot.”_

_He shushes me and kisses me once more before sitting up on his knees, straddling my lap, and taking his shirt off. Of course Harry takes his shirt off before bed and such, but not while we’re passionately making out. This is going to the next level. What exactly did he mean when he said he wanted to try something?_

_I decide not to question him and wiggle around underneath him, tugging my shirt off as well. He lays back down and the sensation of his skin on mine is overwhelming. Instead of kissing my lips again, he starts to suck on my neck, leaving marks all along my collarbone. He starts a trail of kisses down my chest and abdomen and as he reaches my bellybutton, I know exactly where this is going. My stomach knots in anticipation as he pauses where my jeans begin. He looks up at me and I smile as convincingly as possible. I really don’t want him to stop, but I’m a bit nervous as well. I’m not completely comfortable with my body, just like most people my age. I’ve only gotten intimate with one other person and I didn’t care for her like I do for Harry. I nod slightly and Harry smirks between my legs. He slowly unbuttons my pants and pulls the zipper down. I already feel a bit of relief from less constriction on my erection. I lift my hips up as Harry pulls my jeans down. He stands up to pull them off completely, yanking my shoes off and letting them fall to the ground, my jeans following._

_Harry looks at me, his eyes roaming my almost entirely naked body and I feel too exposed._

_“Louis...”_

_Oh god, he thinks I’m gross. He doesn’t really want to do this. I start to wrap my arms around myself, covering anything I can._

_“It’s okay, Harry. You don’t have to-“_

_“Oh, no! Louis, you’re fucking beautiful. I just-“_

_He sits between my legs again and his eyes meet mine._

_“What, Hazz?”_

_“I’m afraid I’ll be bad. Like what if I’m terrible? You’ll tell me, right?”_

_I chuckle and pull him closer to me. I kiss his lips and lay back against the pillow._

_“Harry, do you even realize what you do to me just by touching me?”_

_My eyes shift down to my tight boxers. He grins and turns bright red. He nods and before I can say anything else, he moves back to the empty space between my thighs. I whimper as he rests his hands on my legs and his warm breath meets the dampness of my pants. I’m throbbing from his near contact and I squirm a bit. He steadies me and leaves a soft kiss against my clothed member. I moan softly and he smirks as he starts to remove my boxers._

_My length springs free and I watch Harry’s reaction. I’m scared he’ll change his mind when it comes to sexual things. What if he doesn’t like having sex with a guy? What if he doesn’t like having sex with me? His expression says the opposite. He looks shocked and nervous, but in a good way. He appears to be...excited. I try to relax my body a bit and brush his curls away from his face so I can see him. It gets his attention and he finally looks away from my crotch, his green eyes meeting mine as a smile covers his face. I tuck some of the ringlets behind his ear and leaves numerous kisses on my stomach and thighs before gripping my cock in his large hand. I see his eyes shift to look at me as he wraps his perfect pick lips around the tip, his tongue darting out to lap over me. I shiver in response and my eyes shut tightly responsively. I grip the sheets in balled fists uncontrollably and a moan escapes my lips as he hollows his cheeks and takes me to the back of his throat. My hips jerk involuntarily and I open my eyes wide in terror as I hear him gag._

_“Oh, god. Harry, I’m sorry!”_

_He doesn’t pull off though. Instead, Harry winks and starts to bob his head up and down on me, sucking sharply each time he moves up my length._

_“Shit, Haz. Are you sure you haven’t done this before?”_

_My words are choppy and breathy. Harry moans against my cock in response and my legs go numb. The vibrations of his voice are just too much and I know I’m already embarrassingly close to coming. I tangle my fingers in his hair and tug a bit as I begin to pant and whimper every time his tongue slides across me._

_“So... close.”_

_He sucks one more time before taking me to the back of his throat and swallowing hard a few times, the suction sending me over the edge. I try not to buck my hips up, but I can’t help it and I gag him once more as I release down his relaxed throat. He pulls his mouth away, licking his lips as soon as he sits up._

_“Was that alright, Lou?”_

_I pant and try to catch my breath enough to respond as he lays down next to me. I sit up and kiss his warm mouth before collapsing again at his side._

_“Harry, that was... I can’t even describe how amazing that was.”_

_He chuckles and wraps his arm around my waist, pecking my cheek._

_“I’m glad it felt good. I can’t wait to do it again.”_

_My chest begins to rise and fall at a more normal pace and I turn on my side, propping my head up with my elbow on the pillow._

_“How about I show you how good it feels.”_

_His cheeks turn an shameful shade of pink and I grin as he grows flustered._

_“O-okay.”_

 

**_End of Flashback:_ **

*TO: Harry <3

I’m going to come just thinking about that night. Hurry up!*

I look at my phone and wait for some sort of response. Within a few minutes of me shifting around to adjust my hard-on, I get a text in return.

*FROM: Harry <3

Here’s a good visual*

Attached is a picture of Harry laying in bed, completely naked, his large erection resting on his thigh. The room is dark and I can’t see his face, but his abs are flexed and he just looks... so fucking hot.

I pick up the landline phone and dial his number, lodging it between my ear and shoulder. I want to be able to look at this picture while I talk to him.

“Like what you see?”

His tone is meant to be comical, but there’s nothing funny about how turned on I am right now.

“Are you trying to kill me, Harry Styles? Because it’s working.”

He chuckles and returns to his breathy, deep voice inflection.

“Gonna ride you, Lou. Want you to pretend I’m riding your dick while you touch yourself.”

A groan catches in my throat and I stare at the dirty photo he sent moments ago. I’m really not going to last long tonight.


	35. Chapter 35

**HARRY’S P.O.V.**

“Perfect, yes just like that.”

I’m holding the most awkward pose and trying to make it look natural. I don’t understand how people can model all the damn time. It’s exhausting and boring.

“Okay, let’s take one last break and have a hair and makeup touch-up.”

I try not to visibly roll my eyes at the director’s announcement, but the stylist I’m assigned to is quite annoying. Louis asked me how many girls came onto me, but he never asked about men. This guy is nothing to worry about, though. He’s a bit too obnoxious for my liking. I sulk over to my chair and wait for his excited, high-pitched squeal.

“Okay, Styles. Let’s get you fixed up.”

I force a small grin and stare at myself in the mirror while he tugs at my hair, adding wax and gel where he desires.

“You should let me take you out since it’s your last day in Milan!”

“That’s okay, I should get some sleep. I have an early flight.”

This guy is clearly coming on to me, but I always feel the need to be nice.

“Come on! I know all the good clubs for guys like us.”

I cock an eyebrow and look at him through the mirror.

“Guys like us?”

“Gay!”

I nearly choke on my own spit. Why would he say that?

“I’m not-“

I won’t say it; I hate denying it. He leans down and his lips are uncomfortably close to my ear.

“Yes, you are.”

I swallow hard and stare at him through the mirror in the empty room. His hands rest on my shoulders and he starts to knead his fingers near my neck.

“Please don’t touch me like that. I have a- I’m with someone.”

He chuckles and returns his fingers to my hair.

“Your boyfriend should keep a tighter leash on you.”

He sprays a few spritzes of hairspray and holds his hands out, presenting my hair.

“Voila. Perfect. Off to makeup.”

He shoos me out of his chair and I scurry out the door, thankful to get away from him. I can’t even remember this guys name. I wish Louise was here instead of Armani’s team. She always makes me look so much better and already knows about Louis and I. I just want to go home.

 

__________

 

**LOUIS’ P.O.V.**

 

“Why are we doing damn interviews while Harry’s gone? It’s so stupid.”

Zayn shrugs and Liam rolls his eyes.

“I think they want to make Harry look like this busy super-celebrity, because no one knows that they’re the only reason he’s gone.”

He’s right. Harry is the only one who is forced into celeb parties and hangs around other famous people. Harry’s the only one modeling undergarments. It’s most irritating because it’s not what Harry wants. The rest of us are quite pleased that we get time out of the limelight, but Harry never does.

“Lou, when does he get home?”

“Early in the morning.”

Liam rests his elbow on my shoulder and speaks softly so no one but the lads can hear.

“Did anyone make sure his place is alright?”

Niall leans over the counter to get closer and answers before I can.

“Actually we moved all his stuff over to Lou’s place.”

Liam grins and Zayn pats me on the back.

“I’m glad you two are living together again. How exactly did that work out? I thought management made him move out the first time.”

“They did, but let’s just say we worked something out.”

Zayn seems satisfied with my answer and Liam winks, likely remembering the shenanigans he engaged in with Harry and Cara.

“Alright, boys. You’re on in 2.”

We all shrug and I take a deep breath. I turn around to find Jason towering over me, a smirk on his face and his arms crossed.

“Can I help you? I kind of need to take a seat.”

“I just wanted to remind you to avoid questions about Harry. She’s going to ask where he is and you need to seem uninterested.”

“Yeah, okay. That’s fine.”

I usually try to come up with a smart-ass retort, but I don’t have the energy anymore. Besides,  don’t want to do anything to ruin things. Jason seems surprised by my compliance and steps out of the way for me to walk past. I sit on the end of the red couch, to the right of Niall and solemnly adjust the microphone on the table in front of me. Unfortunately, this isn’t just a radio interview. It’s a damn telly interview, so I really have to hide all expressions and I’m absolutely terrible at it, especially when someone pisses me off.

“Rolling in 5...”

The lights get brighter.

 “4...”

The interviewer clears her throat and adjusts her clothes.

“3...”

I watch the man in front of me hold up two fingers and then one before I turn to the interviewer and plaster on a fake smile.

“Good evening, boys. How are you?”

We all nod and mutter ‘good’ or ‘well’ and Niall takes the opportunity to be the outspoken one in Harry’s absence.

“How are you? You look lovely.”

She obviously doesn’t. I’ve met this woman before. Her outfits are always a bit drab and her makeup is just awful. She blushes at his comment and smiles wide.

“Thank you very much, Niall. So do you.”

He winks and makes a cheesy clicking noise with his mouth that I just can’t help but laugh at. Shit, that got her attention.

“Louis, how are things with Eleanor?”

I do what I always do: think about how things are with Harry and replace him with El.

“Things are great. I haven’t seen _her_ in a bit so I miss _her_.”

Niall drops his arm under the table and swats my leg before leaning in to whisper in my ear as the interviewer smiles, nods, and goes on to ask Zayn about Perrie.

“Lou, you saw El like two days ago, didn’t you?”

Fuck. I did. I completely forgot because I was so wrapped up in seeming hopelessly in love. Hopefully no one will catch on. I try to hide my worry and bite my lip nervously as I search for Jason’s face behind the cameras. He looks his same stern self; nothing too scary.

“And Liam, you’ve started seeing someone?”

“Yeah, it’s still new, but Sophia is great.”

“So, Niall, that makes you the only single one present! Harry’s off in Italy, correct?”

Thankfully, she directed that question to Niall specifically. I’m safe.

“Yeah, he’s been doing some work out there and quite a bit of partying too, I presume.”

He chuckles and I force a tight-lipped grin. That’s always been Harry’s persona. Party animal, sex-crazed womanizer. It never _really_ bothered me until I started to see him turning into those things. Now, though, I’m so proud of his progress. I just can’t take another second of him being gone.

The minutes pass slowly and we finally start to wrap things up by acknowledging rumors of a new album in the works. Liam speaks up and in a curtly manner, answers her final prying question.

“We have been working on something, yes. I think everyone will be pleased.”

With that, the woman claps her hands together and looks behind us at an unseen camera.

“Thank you for joining us boys. And thank you to our viewers. Saying goodbye to One Direction, I’m Katie Welling. Have a good evening.”

“And cut!”

People hustle all around us and we stand up from the uncomfortable couch, making our way over to Jason for our nod of approval.

“Alright, see you guys later. Louis, come here for a moment.”

The lads look at me questioningly and Liam motions them over toward the exit, where they stand awaiting me.

“Uh, yeah?”

Jason shoos away his assistant and steps closer.

“You need to be more careful. I caught your little mishap when she asked about Eleanor. I’m not going to lose it because I don’t have mental capacity to deal with you anymore and I don’t want people to get any ideas. Get it together, Louis.”

“Yes sir. I’m sorry; it won’t happen again.”

He rolls his eyes and massages his temple with one hand as I turn away and make my way across the room as quickly as possible.

“What’d he say?”

“He’s just pissed because I messed up.”

I play it off nonchalantly because there is nothing for us to talk about. It was my fault and he was right, I do have to be more careful.

“Alright. Don’t worry about it, Lou.”

Zayn nods in agreement with Liam and Niall rests his hand on my shoulder.

“Can we go get some food? I’m starved.”

Liam and Zayn agree and they all look at me. My smile isn’t forced this time.

“I actually need to go home. I have a surprise for Harry and I need to make sure everything is perfect.”


	36. Chapter 36

 

**HARRY'S P.O.V.**

When the car pulls up to Louis' flat... our flat, the sun is just coming up. I grab my large bag and run up the steps as if I were late for something. I just can't contain myself. I'm so glad to be home and so happy that I'm about to see Louis again. Nothing in the world matters besides holding him in my arms. I've had my key ready in my hand since I got in the car at the airport and when I reach the door, I slide it in and excitedly push it open. I drop my bag and close the door behind me, locking it without turning around. The floor is covered in small candles and rose pedals. From the door to the kitchen, every last inch is blanketed. In the very middle of the room, Louis is face-down in the couch, wearing nothing but a tight pair of briefs, clinging onto his perfect bum. I chuckle to think of him trying to stay awake until I get home and fighting sleep for god-knows how long. I walk through the small walkway he's made that leads to the couch and all the way to the bedroom. I bend over his motionless body and place a soft kiss on his spine, right between his bare shoulders. I tuck my arms carefully under his body and he turns to face me, still practically unconscious. I lift him up slowly and he wraps his arms around my neck instinctively, not even realizing he's awake. I smile at the feeling of his warm skin on mine and I feel a wave of relief pass over me. I walk as slow as possible through the hall, where there aren't any candles, except for the ones along the wall, giving me enough room to walk. I turn to the side and push the bedroom door open with my shoulder, shuffling through, careful not to hit Louis' legs on the frame. I secretly want him to wake up, but I can't possibly do it on purpose. He looks so flawless in his sleep, so content and carefree. I walk over to the bed in the dark, placing one foot in front of the other in the familiar room. I walk to his side, on the right from where I'm facing, and reach down to pull the covers down. I set him on the cold sheets and quickly cover him up so he doesn't begin to shiver. Immediately, he rolls over toward me and his eyes start to flutter open. He squints as his eyesight adjusts to the dark and he reaches his arms up to me.

"Harry!"

I forget that I'm wearing my shoes. I forget about everything else in the world. I lay down on the bed, directly on top of Louis, my arms wrapping around him tightly as I bury my face in the crook of his neck, the one place I belong.

"Louis, god. I missed you."

I sniffle and laugh at the choked sobs trying to escape as he hugs me back, his hands sliding up and down my back soothingly.

"You have no idea, Harry. Were you going to just let me sleep?"

He raises his voice a bit and I giggle as he flips us both over so that he's laying on top of me, tangled up in the sheets.

"You looked so peaceful-"

"Oh cut the crap, Haz. If I didn't wake up, I would have killed you in the morning."

"It is morning."

I stick my tongue out at him.

Instead of retorting with some clever response, he leans down and catches my tongue with his teeth, letting go only to press his lips against mine. I moan into the kiss, feeling so content and happy that I just can't help myself. I dig my fingers into his back, wanting to hold him as tight as I possibly can without hurting him. He places each of his legs on either side of my hips, straddling my waist. He pulls away from my mouth and kisses my forehead before sitting up on his knees.

"I want to show you something before we reach the point of no return."

I chuckle and he hops off the bed, hustling over to the door again. I stand up and kick off my shoes, putting them near the closet with the intention of putting them away later. I reach back and pull off my shirt, happy to remove the clothes I wore on the place. Suddenly, dim light floods the room and I turn to face Louis as he leans against the door frame, a smile on his face. I walk over to him and turn to face the wall he's looking at.

"Now, I'm not very creative with this artistic stuff, but I thought you might like this."

The wall is covered in framed pictures, top to bottom, left to right. Each one is from a specific moment in time, chronologically placed in our falling in love. It starts with some old pictures of us on X-factor and moves along to some old pictures of us with our families and then to secret trips we took together and pictures from parties we used to have at our flat.

"Louis, I- I love it!"

I skim the rest of the pictures and turn hug him, gathering his body in my arms excitedly. He wraps his arms around my waist and buries his face in my chest. He presses his lips against my skin and looks up at me.

"I love you, Harry. I just wanted you to know that you're the most important thing to me. Nothing can change that."

I feel a wave of guilt wash over me as I look back at the wall of memories. My dad is nowhere. Of course he isn't because I'm too much of a baby to be honest with him about my relationship. I should be where Louis is. I should be completely ready for when we're allowed to come out. I shouldn't be letting my fear of my dad's disappointment hanging over us once everything else falls into place.

"Lou, I think we should go see my dad this weekend."

I place a kiss on his forehead and his jaw falls slack.

"Are you sure, Haz?"

"Yes, Louis. I don't know what's wrong with me. If I don't tell my dad about us, how will I ever tell the world? I couldn't live with myself if I lost you, Louis, and if my dad can't understand that, then it's just something I'm going to have to deal with. I love you so much and you deserve better."

Instead of speaking, Louis drapes his arms over my shoulders, plunging his fingers into the hair on the back of my head as he kisses me intensely. Our lips move fluidly, full of emotion. I feel as though my body can never get enough of his as we stumble toward our bed. The back of my knees hit the mattress and I fall onto my back. Before I can do anything, Louis unfastens my pants and pulls them down with my briefs in one go, letting them fall all the way to the floor. He pulls his boxers down as far as he can and kicks them off the rest of the way as he stands at the foot of the bed, my legs resting on either side of him. I sit up and kiss him, my hands traveling along his sides, goosebumps raising in my wake along his warm skin. He shivers and reaches down to grip my hardened member in his palm, slowly stroking it in the rhythm of our kiss. I stop my lips involuntarily as he quickens the pace of his hand, my lips pressed against his with whimpers and heavy breathing issuing forth.

"Fuck me, Lou. Wreck me."

He moans as I encourage him to continue, thrusting my hips upwards into his hand. He pulls away and holds out his hand, silently telling me to stay where I am. He strolls over to his side of the bed and opens the nightstand, pulling out a tube and closing it back. He rejoins me at the foot of the bed and instructs me to lay back by softly pushing on my chest. I obey and rest the bottom of my feet on the edge of the mattress, legs spread and knees in the air. Louis kneels on the floor and I run my hands through my hair, hating and loving the fact that I can't see what he'll do next.

I feel Louis' warm breath against my exposed hole and I bite my lip as I whimper. He slides his tongue along my entrance, stopping at my balls cruelly. As I let out a small plea, he chuckles and licks over my hole again, more roughly this time. He pulls back without warning and I hear the popping of a lid and squirting of liquid. A few moments later, I feel his cool slick finger circling at my entrance. Finally, he pushes in and intensifies my moans by licking a strip along the underside of my cock. Then, he sits up higher on his knees and begins to pump his finger in and out as he holds the base of my length in his other hand. He looks up at me and winks as he emits his tongue and swirls it around my leaking tip. I throw my head back and arch my spine at his tantalizing touch. Once I lay back down, he wraps his perfect lips around me and starts to bob his head up and down, adding a second and then a third finger inside me.

"God, Lou. I- ohhh."

I can't form an actual sentence as he starts to scissor me open with his small fingers. He pops his mouth off of my cock and slowly pulls his fingers out, standing in front of me. He takes the lube in his hand again and I watch him pour a generous amount in his hand, slicking up his erection.

"Ready for me, Harry?"

I nod desperately in response and he loops his arms under my legs, slipping his hands between my ass and the bed. I lift up my bum with my legs, arching my back up so that I'm at the perfect height for him to fuck me senseless. He holds me up and I balance on one elbow as I reach down and hold his slippery cock, guiding it toward me as he holds around my hips. Once he's lined up, he slowly sinks into me and I drop my arm back down on the mattress, hardly able to hold myself up with the massive pleasure I'm experiencing. 

Louis soon bottoms out, his hips against the back of my thighs. I lift my legs so that they are resting on his shoulders and he pulls back, thrusting into me again, much quicker and harder this time. I gasp and grip the sheets as he repeats this action over and over.

"Oh, you feel s'fucking good, Harry. So tight around me. My little slut."

I love when he talks dirty to me. It sounds so unnatural when I try, but Louis says he finds it sexy.

"Only yours, Lou. My ass is only yours."

He moves faster and my mouth drops open, small grunts and moans escaping as he drills into me again and again. I open my eyes wide and watch him work, his face moving with each emotion he embraces. He's never good at hiding his facial expression and it's one of my favorite things about when we fuck. I love watching the pleasure cover his face.

"You're so sexy, Lou. So beautiful."

He slows his thrusts and gazes down at me, love filling his eyes and I just can't imagine letting someone else do this to me. At least, I wouldn't feel the same way. I could never love another person as much as I love Louis.

His jaw drops and he buries into me slowly, but roughly and I can tell he's close. I tighten around him and he reaches down, pumping my cock in his hand as our moans and screams fill the room, and probably the neighbors' rooms. I don't care, though, and I know Louis doesn't. Everything is going black and I shut my eyes tightly as I feel my climax approach. My legs tighten and squirm and before I can verbally warn Louis, I'm spilling over on his hand and my stomach.

"I'm gonna come, Haz!"

He pumps into me twice more before he fills me, holding himself deep inside me for a while and leaning over to press a sloppy, open-mouthed kiss on my lips. He slowly pulls out and collapses on my chest. I wrap my arms around him and out chests rise and fall out of synch as we try to catch our breaths.

"Love you so much, Lou. Thank you for everything."

"I love you, Harry."

He pauses and looks up at me.

"And you're welcome."

I grin and kiss his forehead before he rolls off of me.

"I think we should take a nice, hot bath."

I smile and he stands up at the foot of the bed again, holding out a hand for me to take. I grasp it and he pulls me to my feet, at which point, I tower over him.

"You start the bath and I'll get the champagne."

I smile and feel tears of joy meet my eyes as he bounces off to the kitchen. After all these years, I've finally realized what my happiness in life is.

Simply put, it's Louis.


	37. Chapter 37

**LOUIS' P.O.V.**

I'm really trying to put myself in Harry's position. We're going to see his dad today and I can tell he's more than a little nervous. I remember telling my mum, but it wasn't the same. Sure, we weren't able to tell my sisters, but I'll be sure to tell them before the whole world knows. They're just too young to keep a secret like that. It does hurt sometimes to see how she reacts to the rumors online, but I know she thinks she's protecting me.

I suppose I could compare Harry's feelings toward telling his dad to me telling Fizzy and Lottie. I have no idea how they would react and I know that is one thing that worries Harry the most. The other, though, is the possibility of his father's disapproval. I can't relate to this. I don't have that father figure to disappoint and it's never been a concern to me. All I can do is try to be there for Harry as much as I can.

Harry typically likes to drive, but I insisted on it today, knowing he's a nervous wreck.

"Hey, it's going to be alright. No matter what happens."

I reach over and rest my hand on top of his, lacing my fingers through until he finally flipped his hand over and grasped mine back.

"I know, Lou. I'm still scared."

I keep my eyes on the road and pull his hand up to my lips, softly kissing the back of his hand. I rest our intertwined hands on top of my leg this time, making it easier for me to drive in Harry's large SUV.

"You'll feel better after you tell him. I'll be there the whole time, too."

He nods and bites on his bottom lip, pulling it between his teeth roughly.

"You're gonna make yourself bleed, babe. Don't do that."

He stops, but doesn't say anything; he just stares straight ahead.

We finally reach the small restaurant Des agreed to meet us at for lunch and I pull up to the valet stand, taking my hand away from Harry's as a man opens my door. Harry meets me on the sidewalk and we hurry into the cafe, glad that the place is a little off the maps so that no one is really around. We walk through the double doors and I lean over to whisper to Harry as his father approaches us.

"I love you, baby."

I rest my hand on his back briefly before he's pulled away from me by his eager dad.

"Hello, son. It's great to see you."

He pulls back and extends a hand to me. I take it and shake firmly.

"Good to see you, Louis."

"You too, sir."

Des is the only member of Harry's family that I haven't spent extensive time with. Hopefully after today, that can change.

"We have a table just over here. This place is quite empty for lunch."

"Good."

I mumble under my breath and Harry shoots me a look that is a mixture of fear and possibly regret. I mouth the words 'you can do it' as his dad leads us to a small table near the window. Harry and his father sit nearest the window, across from each other and I sit next to Harry.

"So, why did you want to come to lunch? Not that I'm opposed to having lunch for the sake of having lunch."

He grins and Harry looks down at the table, his face turning red.

"Uh, just some things I wanted to catch you up on."

Des summons the waitress and she walks over with a notepad.

"Hold that thought, Harry."

He turns to face the woman.

"I'll have a gin and tonic. Boys, what do you want?"

Harry doesn't look up so I answer for us both.

"We'll take your house white wine."

She nods and disappears. I hope that my ordering for Harry doesn't tip it off too much, but it doesn't quite matter when Harry is about to tell him about us anyway.

"Okay, sorry, I just really wanted a drink. What were you saying?"

"There's just a couple things I, uh, wanted to tell you."

Des folds his arms on the table and leans forward smiling.

"I'm all ears."

Harry tenses up and I slip my arm under the table, quickly finding his sweaty, shaking hand. I squeeze it lightly and Harry turns to look at me. He's biting his lip again and I nod in encouragement.

"Dad, I'm seeing someone."

"That's great, Harry! I'm happy for you. Who's the lucky girl?"

He seems oblivious to our nervous glances and Harry's obvious anxiety. I turn my stare from Harry to Des and Harry clears his throat before speaking again. Only he's stopped by the reappearance of our waitress, balancing three drinks on a tray. Honestly, that was perfect timing. I think everyone is going to need a drink in a second. She hands them out and tucks the tray under her arm.

"Are you gentlemen ready to order?"

Des looks at the menu in front of him, but I speak before he can say anything.

"Can you give us a moment, please?"

"Sure thing, I'll be back in a few minutes."

Des looks confused, but takes a sip of his mixed drink and turns his focus back to Harry. How can he not tell that his son is trying to tell him something important?

"I'm sorry, Harry. Who is she?"

Harry stammers and squeezes my hand tightly, pulling it until I finally understand what he's trying to do. I rub my thumb over his skin and he pulls our hands to the top of the table. Des glances down from Harry's face to our hands and back to Harry.

"It's Louis, dad. I'm dating Louis."

Des nearly chokes on the sip he has just taken and coughs a bit before he can officially respond, but I can tell that his reaction thus far is making Harry uncomfortable.

"When did this happen? Since when are you... gay?"

"Probably always, but I didn't realize it until I met Louis. We've been together for a long time now-"

"Why didn't you tell me?"

He looks more hurt than angry, but he still isn't being very understanding.

"I was scared, dad. I'm sorry- I wish I had, but I was afraid you would hate me."

Des looks around and seems to be searching for the words to say. I really can't tell what he's thinking. He seems shocked to say the least.

"I could never hate you, son-"

"God, I'm so glad to hear you say that."

Harry's dad softly hits his fists on the table.

"You didn't let me finish. I can't hate you, Harry, but I can hate the things you do."

His eyes drift over to meet mine.

"I _can_ hate you, however."

He points his finger at me and Harry pulls my hand closer to him.

"Dad!"

"It's okay, Harry."

I don't want Harry to defend me to his father. It isn't necessary. I'm not hurt by his rudeness. I'm pissed the fuck off because he could care less about his son's feelings.

"Why exactly would you hate me, sir?"

I remain calm and plan to as long as I possibly can.

"Why wouldn't I hate the kid who turned my son gay?"

"Excuse me, but I didn't _turn_ your son gay. It doesn't work like that. I didn't realize my sexuality until I met Harry either. We just love each other and gender isn't going to change that. That's exactly what this is, but you can be daft and close-minded if you want."

"Do you really think he loves you? You're just some sort of experiment while he's a reckless teenager. It'll pass over."

I can't believe what I'm hearing. No wonder Anne isn't with this man anymore. She's so much more understanding and humane than he is.

"So, I'm just something he's been experimenting with for, hmmm, three fucking years? How does that make sense? If he didn't like it, if he didn't love me, he wouldn't still be with me."

Des is speechless. He looks over to Harry and I follow his gaze to find my boyfriend in tears. I didn't expect it to happen this way. I actually thought his dad would be reasonable.

"Come on, Harry. Let's go home and I'll make you something for lunch."

Harry and I haven't even touched our wine as we stand up and push our chairs away from the table.

"Wait a minute now, I'm not done talking to you, Harry."

"Well, I'm done talking to you! Nothing you can say or do can change how I feel."

I'm proud of Harry for saying something and Des seems surprised by his outburst.

"Let me know when we can talk privately, without this punk around."

"Louis will always be around. He's the love of my life and if you want to be a part of that life at all, you should start getting used to it."

At that, Harry and I turn around, walking straight out the front door. As soon as it shuts behind us, I hand the ticket to the valet attendant and Harry turns to face me, burying his face in my shoulder. I wrap my arms around his waist warmly as he sobs against my sweater.

"It's alright, baby. I'm so proud of you. He'll come around."

Harry shakes his head, but doesn't say anything.

"Let's go home, eat something, and take a nice, hot bath."

He doesn't respond, but the crying subsides a little.

"Okay, love?"

"O-okay."

His voice cracks as he speaks, but he's much calmer than before. The car pulls up to the curb and I step into the open driver's door as Harry walks around to the passenger side. Once we are inside, Harry turns off the quiet radio completely.

"I'm going to call my mum."

"Alright."

I stroke his thigh and he rests his forehead against the window as his phone starts to ring.

I hope this doesn't last too long. I can't handle it when someone hurts my Harry. Even if it is his dad. That just wasn't okay.


	38. Chapter 38

**HARRY’S P.O.V.**

I don’t know why I’m letting my dad’s words get to me so much. I mean, I tried to prepare myself for the worst, but it didn’t quite cut it. I actually wish he took it out on me, not Louis. How can he say such hateful things to the person I just told him I loved, especially when he hardly knows him?

Now, he’ll never get to know him. I hate to think about how distant my father was when I was younger. I felt that we had gotten past it as I grew up, but now none of it matters. He’s completely digressed and lost all respect I might have had for him.

Even though I’m angry, I’m still more hurt.

I sit on the edge of me and Louis’ bed as he instructed while he got our bath ready. 

I spoke to my mum on our way home and she was livid at my father’s reaction. I just feel lucky to have at least her, Robin, and Gemma to support my relationship. That’s really all I need. I still can’t get the lump of disappointment out of my throat from our lunch-gone-wrong. 

“Hazza! I’m ready for you!”

I grin despite myself and stand up from the mattress, pulling my shirt over my head and tossing it into a nearby corner. I enter our bathroom to find Louis lighting the last of about ten candles on the counter. He’s stripped to his briefs and the oversized tub is about halfway full. I reach over on the wall and flip the light switch off to get the entire effect of the candles. The same candles he had littering our living room that night.

“Might as well put them to good use, eh?”

I smile and walk over to Louis slowly. I take the lighter out of his hand and set it down by the sink. I wrap my arms around his thin waist and lean down to place a not-so-chaste kiss on his parted lips.

“Thank you, Lou.”

I whisper as our mouths hover inches away from each other. 

“I just want you to happy, babe. Can I get you some champagne?”

I grin and kiss his forehead before working at the button on my jeans.

“I’d love some.”

I wiggle my skin tight pants off, wearing nothing underneath. Louis turns around from pouring the bubbly wine in two glasses and stares at me. Before he can say anything, I turn around and hurry into our bedroom. I reach the bedside table quickly and easily find a half-empty bottle of lubricant. This is exactly what I need right now. Louis. All of him.

I return to the bathroom and Louis’ bottom half is submersed in the water, but that’s about all it covers and it’s not as though I can’t see everything. He’s already hard and that makes me smirk devilishly. 

“Where’d you go?”

I hold up the lube and set it down next to our full glasses of champagne. Louis grins and scoots forward so I can sit behind him. I slip into the water carefully, grabbing my glass of champagne once I’m seated comfortably, Louis resting his back against my chest.

“Lunch was great, Lou.”

He laughs and looks back at me.

“Harry, I made microwavable macaroni and cheese.”

I take a sip of my drink and set it down on the side of the tub.

“And it was delicious!”

We both chuckle and I take Louis’ glass out of his hand as well. He rolls over so that our chests our touching, his petite body resting between my legs.

“I love you, Louis. I’m sorry my dad was a dick.”

“Don’t apologize for him. He’s just not thinking properly. He loves you, Haz,” he kisses my lips softly, “and so do I.”

I sigh and decide I’d like to change the subject. Or perhaps not speak at all.

I hook my arms under Louis’ and pull him up toward me. He rests the palms of his hands on the bottom of the tub as I run my fingers through his damp wispy hair. As I press my lips to his, I wonder why I’ve been so stupid in the past. How could I possibly do anything that can hurt this perfect man when all he’s done is take care of me? He’s there for me, even when my own father isn’t.

Even after I broke him, he came running back to help me, even though it was painful for him to do so. A single tear rolls down my cheek and I break away from our kiss, wanting so badly to make sure Louis knows how much I appreciate him.

“Lou-“

He doesn’t let me speak though. Instead he kisses away my grief and moves his legs until he’s straddling my lap.

I open my mouth to speak again, but he places a finger over my trembling lips.

“Shh, babe. Let me make you feel good.”

I don’t know exactly what he has planned, but I definitely can’t argue with that. I sit back and the water comes up to my waist as Louis repositions himself higher on my body. I rest my hands on his hips and he bends down to kiss me again. As he does so, he reaches over me and finds the lube, popping it open and pouring some on his hand.

I pull back and start to move, turning around so he can reach entrance and stretch me, but he tightens his legs around me and holds me in place.          

“No, Haz. Stay where you are.”

Louis sits up on his knees and  reaches behind him as I stare in awe. His mouth drops as he starts to work on his own hole, taking me entirely by surprise. I bite my bottom lip and look between our exposed bodies at our growing erections as they brush against one another.

Louis’ eyes are shut tight in pleasure and probably a bit of stinging pain since he doesn’t get opened up like this very often. Besides, he’s probably not being as gentle with himself as I usually am. He’s so impatient and just takes the pain from his own fingers.

I settle on distracting him in the best way possible for us both. I reach down and grasp my member first, tugging at it gently before reaching my long fingers out to join Louis’ length flush against mine. A loud moan from the surprise contact. I tighten my fist around us both and slowly start to move my hand up and down. The friction from my hand, as well as Louis’ hardened shaft, making my muscles feel weak.

“Oh, fuck- Okay, stop. I-I’m ready.”

Louis’ hand reappears from behind him and he rinses his fingers off in the water before lifting up higher on his knees and leaning against the porcelain of the tub behind me.

I hold my length in one hand and grip Louis’ hip with the other, the tips of my fingers kneading into the bare flesh of his bum.

As soon as his entrance comes into contact with my tip, I throw my head back in anticipated bliss. I watch Louis’ face as he slowly sinks onto me, his tightness engulfing me in a warm grasp.

“Oh my god, Lou!”

The feeling is indescribable as he eventually takes me in entirely, his arse resting on my quivering thighs. Before I can acclimate to the waves of ecstasy rushing through my veins, he lifts up again, almost releasing my member, but slamming back down before he does. Moans and the sound of splashing water fill my ears as I close my eyes and focus all of my attention on the passion and emotion wrapped up in our actions. Sure, to unknowing onlookers, we probably look like we’re filming a porno, skin slapping and quick powerful thrusts. However, those are just outcomes of our not being able to contain the profound love we supply. It’s just overwhelming.

I open my eyes and notice how painfully hard Louis is as he bounces unselfishly. I take the opportunity to take him in my hand, starting to pump in a similar rhythm as his movement is in. Actually, he’s basically killing two birds with one stone, thrusting into my hand as I move it less and less.  

“No, ‘arry, stop! W-want you to come first.”

It takes him a while to get that sentence out, but the gleam in his eyes tell me he’s being serious and I comply grudgingly, only wanting to make him feel as good as I do. Even though, he seems to be close on his own.

Louis slows his hips and drops down, taking me in completely and rolling his hips instead of snapping up and down. He leans over and kisses me as I run my hands over his arched back as he continues to gyrate in a fluid motion. I lose control of my lips as recognizable coiling commences deep within me.

“Shi- Lou, I’m close.”

He continues to kiss me, moaning obscenely into my mouth as I grind up into him as I let out a throaty whimper and release in a long outburst. I breathe heavily and start to kiss Louis again, ignoring the sensitivity and my inability to see clearly. I let go of his hip and run my fingers along his warm skin, easily finding his throbbing length. I wrap my fist around him and open my eyes to watch him quickly come undone in my hand. He screams loudly as he finishes, his blue eyes wide open and mouth gaping. He comes hard, his load reaching my chest and even some on my neck.

He finally dismounts me and lays limply against my chest as I twirl my fingers through his hair. If there were ample words to be spoken, we probably would, but it’s just impossible to follow such a beautiful thing with useless chat.

“I love you so much, Lou. Thank you.”

He scoffs and turns over to face me, kissing my lips nimbly.

“I love you more, Harry.”

His nose brushes over mine and he pushes some wet curls out of my face.

“We should probably take a shower to clean off from our bath.”

Louis laughs at the irony and nods in agreement.

 

______________

 

**LOUIS’ P.O.V.**

I drive down the dimly lit roads of outer London, holding Harry’s phone in my hand. He’s been asleep about an hour and it’s really late, but I left my phone and a note just in case he wakes up wondering where I am.

The note doesn’t say though. It only lets him know that I will be back soon.

I pull over at a large hotel and stare at the screen on his iPhone, ensuring that I’m at the right place.

 

*FROM: Dad

I’m staying at the Ibis in West Ham. Room 346.*

 

Yep, I’m here.

I park my car on the curb, as close as I can get to the door and pull my hood over my head so no one will notice me.

I lock the door and enter the hotel, quickly finding the lift. I toss my hood off so I don’t look entirely sketchy to the hotel staff. Besides, there’s no one around. Once in the lift, I press the number 3 and tap my foot impatiently as the elevator rises to the correct floor.

I take a deep breath when the doors open and I walk quickly down the hall, checking the numbers on rooms until I eventually find ’346’.

I hesitantly knock and shove my hands in my pockets, only now realizing how nervous I am. I honestly don’t know how I convinced myself to do this, but once I decided, there was no turning back. He just can’t treat Harry that way.

After another knock, the door swings open violently, Harry’s father fuming.

“What the hell are you doing here at two in the morning, Louis?”

He doesn’t even try to look any less angry than he obviously is and I clear my throat before speaking.

“Sir, we need to talk.”

 

 


	39. Chapter 39

**LOUIS’ P.O.V.**

 

“What is there to talk about? I have nothing to say to you.”

I lean against the door frame and try my best to calm myself.

“Well, I have some things to say to you. I don’t plan on being rude and I’m not here to argue. I would just like to talk about Harry and I think listening is the least you can do if you aren’t going to accept him for who he is.”

Harry’s father stares at me with eyes like daggers, but he eventually moves out of the way and allows me to step inside the hotel room. I stand just inside and await further instruction. I’m honestly not here to piss him off or fight. I just want to give him another chance to do the right thing.

“How long are you going to be here?”

He stands in front of me and I simply shrug.

“Just sit at the table.”

He rubbed his eyes exhaustedly, obviously trying to appear ready for bed. After pacing the hall near the door for a minute, he sits across from me and crosses his arms over his chest. I expect him to say something, but he just stares at me, waiting for me to explain my visit.

“Um, I don’t really know where to begin. I didn’t plan on coming over here, but when Harry finally went to sleep, I just felt like I had to do something. He was so upset the entire day. Literally nothing made him feel better, not for more than a few minutes at least...” I can tell I’m losing his interest and he’s probably imagining exactly what I’m referring to, so I really should refrain from hinting at sex. 

“Anyway, the reason he’s so upset is because he loves you, Mr. Styles. He really does. He just wants your approval. It’s actually always been an issue for us. He’s always been so terrified of telling you about our relationship and I wish I could understand what he’s feeling right now, but I never had a father figure per se. Now, I understand this is all a bit shocking to you, but you can’t change your entire opinion of your son based on what gender the person he loves is. I know what you’re going to say, ‘he doesn’t love me’, but-“

He rests his hand on the top of the table softly and nods for me to stop rambling as his eyes shift around the room nervously.

“Louis, I- I know he loves you. I’m just lying to myself if I say he doesn’t. I know I shouldn’t have acted like that at lunch, but I can’t pretend that I support this... lifestyle.”

I can tell that he’s trying to be nice and it’s honestly more than I expected when I knocked on his door.

“I can deal with that. No offense, but I don’t care what you think about me. I mean, it would be nice for my boyfriend’s father to be able to look me in the eyes when he talks to me, but this isn’t about me. It’s about Harry. I know that right now we can’t come out to the public, but one day I want him to feel like he can walk down the street holding my hand without worrying about what you’ll think when you see pictures in the tabloids. He already has so much on his plate, sir, and I hate that he has to worry about what his own dad thinks of him.”

“He knows I love him-“

“I don’t think he does! You can say you love him all you want, but the only way he’ll believe it is if he sees you prove it.”

He sighs and finally makes eye contact. My eyes are pleading with him and I’m desperate to make at least some progress.

“And how do I do that?”

“Well, I don’t expect you to spend a lot of time with Harry and I together. Maybe you can make plans with him, just the two of you. I can leave the flat for an evening and I’m sure he’d love to cook for you. I don’t know. I want to make this easier for you because I do respect you and I know this is difficult for you. I just want Harry to be happy.”

He takes a deep breath and rubs his face, mulling over my suggestions.

“Alright. I’ll think about it.”

“Thank you. That’s all I’m asking.”

He forces a half-grin and I stand up to dismiss myself.

“I better get home before he wakes up and finds an empty bed. He doesn’t know I’m here. I’m sorry for showing up in the middle of the night, by the way. I couldn’t sleep without trying to fix things.”

“It’s- uh, fine. I’ll think about what you said.”

I walk to the door and he follows behind me, holding it open as I step out into the hallway.

“Oh, and Louis?”

I turn around and dig my hands in my pockets.

“Yeah?”

“Take care of my boy, alright? I know there’s no stopping this, so just promise me you won’t hurt him.”

“I promise.”

I can’t hide my smile. With that, he nods awkwardly and closes the door.

I practically skip the entire way to the lobby and pull my hood back up as I make my way to the car. The ride feels much quicker than before, but once I park at the apartment, it’s about four in the morning.

I carefully unlock the door and close it silently behind me, locking it back immediately. I take my shoes off and left my keys on the counter before tip-toeing into our room. I slip out of my clothes, tossing them in a corner, and collect the note I left in case Harry woke up. He didn’t, though. He’s in the exact same spot I left him. I toss the piece of paper in the bin and put his phone on the night stand next to mine. I carefully slide under the covers and scoot closer to him and he shifts a little in his sleep, mumbling abstrusely. Harry rolls over and his eyes flutter open a little.

“Lou?”

“Shhh, baby. I’m right here. Go back to sleep.”

I kiss his forehead and pull him onto my chest, holding him close.

“Mmk, love you.”

I smile and press my lips against the mess of curls on the back of his head.

“Love you too.”

I finally feel calm enough to sleep. Maybe Des will do the right thing, but even if he doesn’t, I tried my best and I’m extremely proud that our conversation was civilized and never became excited or heated. Harry begins to breathe slowly, his chest rising and falling against my side and I know he’s sleeping again. I kiss him once more and whisper into his hair, breathing in the musky smell of his shampoo as my eyes flicker shut.

“More than you’ll ever know.”

 


	40. Chapter 40

**HARRY’S P.O.V.**

 

I wake up the morning after our unfortunate run-in with my dad to find half of Louis’ body draped over mine. Sometimes he sleeps so soundly, but then there are nights when he has nightmares and I find him like this. I want nothing more than to wiggle out from under him because I have to take a piss like you wouldn’t believe, but I can’t move him because his skin on mine feels so right.

I lay in near-silence, his steady breathing and light snores being the only sounds in our room. I lay back on my pillow and look up at the wall of pictures. They all bring me back to a different memory and I can’t help but smile at most of them. A few take me to a dark place, reminding me of the worst of times when we couldn’t even look at each other in public, but they also remind me of the strength those experiences forced upon me and Louis. Every last picture leads to a memory of an experience that brought us closer together, whether that was it’s purpose or not. Nothing can tear us apart.

Louis rolls over so that his chest is against mine and I run my fingers through his hair as his eyes flutter open and shut again.

“What are you thinking about, Hazza?”

I smile as his raspy voice fills my thoughts, his eyes closed softly and sleepily.

“You. Always you.”

He chuckles and pulls the covers over us more as he adjusts his position to a more natural one, his head on my chest and one leg draped over mine.

“I love you, Harry.”

I kiss the top of his head, his messy hair tickling my nose.

“I love you, Lou.”

He brings his left hand to my chest, just below his head, and starts to trace random shapes along my skin. I feel my breath hitch as it always will from his touch and he trails a finger down my stomach and closer to my hip. My arm feels dead beneath him, but I don’t pull it away. Instead, I use it to pull him closer to me until he gets the picture and straddles my bare lap, his eyes tired and half-closed.

“We should get breakfast with the guys, eh?”

I rest my hands on his thighs as I speak, gently stroking them and he yaws and stretches his arms out.

“I don’t want to let you out of this bed, babe.”

I smile and he leans down, his palms balancing him on my chest as he leaves a close-mouthed kiss on my chapped lips.

“Well, now. I think we’ve spent quite a bit of time cooped up in here and I haven’t seen them since I got back.”

He kisses my forehead and sits up again, fingers skimming down my sides.

“Alright alright, I’ll share you.”

I giggle and surprise him by lifting him up with my hips and flipping our bodies over, pinning his against the warm mattress.

“How about,” I begin to pull the covers over me as I slide under them, “I suck you off,” I leave wet kisses on either side of his hips, “and then we take a shower?”

At that, I grip his half-hard cock in my hand and he moans in response instead of speaking. I just want him to know how happy he makes me and nothing makes me feel more complete than to witness his body quiver under my touch.

I am completely engulfed by the sheets and I feel one of his hands find their way to my tousled curls, gripping them lightly as I lap my tongue over the tip of his quickly hardening length, savoring his taste with a dramatized whimper.

“Oh god, Harry. I love it when you’re feisty in the morning.”

I smile to myself and open my mouth wide, allowing my warmth to envelop his thick cock, my tongue sliding around as I take him all the way to the back of my throat in one go. Louis grips my hair with one hand and tugs at the sheets with the other, groaning loudly as I begin to bob my head up and down over him. He pulls at my hair with every movement and I feel his hips begin to thrust up ever so slightly, begging for suction and more friction.

I hollow my cheeks and suck sharply as I take him back farther, relaxing my throat so he can fuck into it. My nose brushes over his abdomen and I hum against him, causing him to mumble indiscernible curses. As he begins to thrust a bit harder, a few strangled gags emit from my mouth, but I stroke his thighs to silently allow him to continue. My eyes water as he bucks up and finds his way deep in my throat as I constrict some to intensify his pleasure.

“Fucking hell, oh, Hazz. I’m already close.”

I deliberately suck and work at him roughly for a few more seconds before I pull away and let his rock-hard member fall back onto his stomach.

“Wha-“

I escape from the confines of the warm sheets and lay back on our bed, panting before I can speak.

“I want you to come on my face, Lou.”

He rests on his elbow and looks at me with wide eyes.

“C’mon. We’re about to take a shower anyway. Come on my face, baby.”

I speak with a purr and watch his face light up as he positions himself over me, straddling my chest. He sits up on his knees and holds his length in his small hand.

I swat his hand away and watch him smile dubiously. Before he can question me, I wrap my large hand around his throbbing member and quickly pump while it’s still slick from my my mouth. I keep my eyes glued to his face and watch his expression shift through countless levels of pleasure.

“Oh, fuck, I’m gonna. I’m gonna-“

He doesn’t finish his sentence, but I know what he’s getting at and I close my eyes and open my mouth, letting my tongue slip out in anticipation. I feel his cock twitch in my palm and soon after, my face and tongue is covered in sticky liquid. I swallow what lands on my tongue and Louis collapses next to me on our bed, entirely out of breath. I reach over to my nightstand and blindly find the tissue box. I pull out a few tissues and wipe my face off, starting with my eyes until I feel comfortable enough opening them. I’ve had come in my eye and it’s not a good experience.

I toss the tissues on the floor and lay on my side, watching Louis slowly recover from his orgasm.

“Harry, that was- wow. Wake me up like that every day?”

I chuckle and slide over, kissing his temple quickly.

“Only if we take turns. Let’s go get in the shower.”

He grins and stands up, allowing me to appreciate his full beauty as he looks out the window, facing away from me. After a few seconds, he turns around to find me still laying there staring at him.

“Oh come on, babe. I’ll take care of you in the shower.”

He winks and I hop out of bed faster than I thought possible, wanting so badly to find my release as well.

 

______________

 

“I’ll drive, Harry.”

I nod and grab my phone, making my way to the door where my shoes are.

The boys all agreed to meet us for brunch, although Zayn took some convincing since he was still fast asleep when we called. We decided on brunch because by the time Louis and I were done with our morning activities, it was nearly noon.

I check my pocket to make sure my wallet is there and Louis approaches with my keys dangling from his finger.

“Alright, let’s go.”

We make it out to the car and I climb into the passenger seat as Louis starts the engine and pulls away from the curb. I turn the radio on quietly and finally look at my phone for the first time today. The typical notifications flood my lock screen, but one takes me by surprise. A text message.

 

*FROM: Dad

Harry, I’m sorry for the way I reacted. Can we spend some time together this weekend? Just you and I. Love you.*

 

I stare at the screen for a long while before I decide that I’m not imagining things.

“What’s wrong, Harry?”

I shake my head in disbelief.

“Nothing! My dad- He wants to see me. He apologized!”

I look up and Louis is smiling to himself suspiciously.

“What did you do, Louis?”

“Nothing. I’m glad he’s come around. You should have him over. I’ll spend the evening with Zayn or something.”

I stare at Louis for a bit, realizing he’s definitely hiding something from me, but I decide to hold that thought as the excitement fills me.

 

*TO: Dad

Thank you so much. I would love that. Come over this weekend and I can cook? Lou said he’ll leave. Love you too.*

 

Louis smiles and keeps his focus on the road as he reaches over and caresses my hand gently.

“Are you going to tell me what you did now?”

He glances over for a second and in that moment, I know for sure he did something. He tries to turn back to the road and expects me not to have caught that nervous gleam in his eye.

“I did nothing.”

He smirks and I pull my hand away from his.

“Louis, did you call my dad?”

“No, I didn’t call him.”

He speaks around my question, answering carefully.

“Just tell me, Lou.”

“I didn’t call him. I paid him a visit.”

“ _What_?”

His eyes shift anxiously and he tries for a reassuring grin, but it doesn’t work.

“Yeah, last night when you fell asleep. Don’t worry about it, Harry. I took care of it-“

“I didn’t need you to do that, Louis! I don’t need you to fight my battles for me!”

He scoffs in disagreement.

“They aren’t your battles, Harry! Everything we face, we face it together. I was very respectful. We just talked, babe-“

“Don’t call me that.”

I shoot back and cross my arms, staring out the window.

“Come on, Haz. Don’t be like this.”

“Like what?”

“Pissy. You’re acting like a dick. I did something _nice_ for you.”

“I didn’t ask you to do anything, Louis. How is he ever going to respect me if I have you running out and fixing everything for me when times get rough. I don’t need anyone dealing with my shit for me! I’m a god-damned adult and I can take care of myself!”

“Harry! Listen to yourself! I didn’t do this because you asked me to. I did this because I love you and I couldn’t bear to see you suffering at the words of your father. I can’t stand to see you hurting-“

“Yeah, well sometimes I hurt. It’s not the end of the world. It’s a fact of life.”

Louis huffs in frustration as we pull into a parking spot next to the restaurant.

“Just be glad something good came from it.”

“What if it hadn’t, Louis? Did you think of that? What if you had made things worse and made my father hate me even more?”

Louis looks at me pleadingly as he turns off the car.

“He doesn’t hate you, Harry and never could. Just- Stop acting like a bitch for this meal at least. We can talk about it later.”

“Whatever.”

We both get out of my car and slam the doors behind us before walking a few feet away from each other toward the door. When we enter the restaurant, it isn’t very packed and we easily find the guys sitting in the far corner by the window. We nod to them and sit down in attempted happiness, but there’s no hiding the anger in our expressions.

 

**LIAM’S P.O.V.**

 

“Oh, hey there they are.”

Louis and Harry walk over in a rush, silently taking their seats between Niall and Zayn and pouting dramatically.

“Oh, god. They’re fighting.”

We’ve all caught on to that, but for some reason, Niall felt the need to voice this observation. Harry rolls his eyes and before he’s even been sitting for a full minute, he shoves his chair back and mumbles a quick, insincere apology.

“I’m going to the loo.”

He glares down at Louis and hurries off down the hall, wiping his face on his sleeve. He’s definitely crying.

“What the hell happened, Louis?”

Zayn crosses his arms and waits for his reply.

“I tried to help him and went to see his dad and now he’s being a jerk and saying I don’t need to fight his battles for him. It ended well and everything. He’s just being an asshole for no reason.”

“There’s always a reason-“

“Thanks, Liam. I don’t need this crap. I’m going to go home. Can one of you bring Harry back after you eat?”

Louis doesn’t wait for one of us to reply and stands up in a fury, walking right back out the door he came from. I turn to Zayn and he looks at me inquisitively.

“What do you suppose we do? I talk to Lou and you talk to Harry?”

“No, other way around. I think they each need to see where the other is coming from.”

Zayn and Louis are similar in a lot of the ways Harry and I are. If we can speak calmly with them without all of those extra feelings attached to their heated conversations, maybe we can get through to them.

“Alright, you better hurry then. He’s probably at the car already.”

Niall’s eyes shift between us and he starts to say something, but simply looks back at the menu instead as I jump up and run to the door. I make it out as Louis turns the key in the ignition and I wave my arms in the air to get his attention. He rolls the passenger window down and I rest my arms there.

“What do you want, Liam? I’m not in the mood-“

“I just want to talk to you. We can go wherever you want.”

He glares at me a while before reaching to the door and unlocking the car.

“Fine. Get in.”

“Thanks, Lou.”

Well, here goes nothing.


	41. Chapter 41

**ZAYN’S P.O.V.**

 

“Harry?”

The bathroom is empty besides the two of us and there’s only one stall other than the one Harry has locked himself into. I knock lightly for the fifth time, but all I hear is sniffling.

“Alright, I guess we’re having a conversation through the door then.”

Harry says nothing and I lean against the side of the stall near the sink.

“Can you tell me what happened, Hazz?”

“I’m sure Louis has already told some bullshit story that makes him look like a hero.”

He isn’t far off, but Louis didn’t tell us much of a story.

“He actually left. He was pretty upset too.”

“Why should he be upset?”

I can sense the unnerving coolness in his tone.

“Because you’re upset and he loves you.”

“He’s the reason I’m upset! He doesn’t get to play innocent here.”

I take a silent breath, not wanting to put out an air of insensitivity.

“Just tell me what happened, please.”

I hear Harry’s boots scuff along the tile as he stands in the stall.

“We had lunch with my dad yesterday. I’ve been so against telling him about Louis and I for so long and I finally just decided it had to be done. Well, it didn’t go well. It actually went worse than I even expected...”

I can piece the rest together. Louis took things into his own hands, trying to make it all better. God, he’s an idiot sometimes, but I know what he was thinking. I would have done the same thing in the heat of the moment. I continue to listen to Harry babble on about how he and Louis spent a romantic day together that I don’t care to hear about in detail.

“... and then, when I was asleep, he took my phone and found out where my dad was staying! He went over there without me having the slightest idea, Zayn! He wasn’t even going to tell me! If my dad hadn’t texted me and asked to hang out, I wouldn’t have noticed that Louis was keeping something from me! He had that stupid look on his face-“

“Wait. It went well, then? Your dad came around a bit, yeah?”

“That isn’t the point, Zayn! The point is that he went behind my back and met with my own father! He tried to fight my battles for me and I don’t need that. I’m fully capable of dealing with this shit.”

At that, Harry unlocks the stall and steps out. His eyes are red and glazed over from crying, but his expression was laced with anger.

“It isn’t okay for him to treat me like a helpless child, Zayn.”

He stands a few feet away from me and I close the gap, patting him on the shoulder while waiting for his eyes to meet mine.

“Harry, I get that that’s how you feel, okay? I understand why you’re upset and all, but you have to give him a break,“ Harry starts to cut me off, but I raise a calm hand to stop him. “Listen, I know how you feel, but I also get how Louis is feeling so hear me out.”

Harry nods and rubs his eyes with both of his palms before listening intently.

“Lou has been watching you fight with yourself over this dilemma for years now. I remember when it all started. You guys had already told your mums and he figured you wanted to tell your dad. You’ve always been afraid. I can imagine he was thrilled that you finally felt like your relationship was at a point that your father should know about it. You know this, Harry, but Louis isn’t keen to commitment. Before you, he wanted nothing to do with it in the long term. You guys have been through so much together, so now he probably feels like he’s trying so hard to protect you from any further harm and you’re just pushing him away. I understand that that’s not your intention, but it’s how he’s going to see it. He didn’t want anything but to help you. He loves you so incredibly much, Harry. I mean it. He never stops talking about you, whether you’re here or not. Don’t let this come between you guys, especially when it ended up working in your favor.”

Harry’s eyes shift down to the floor and his hands are in his back pockets. He looks sad, but slightly ashamed.

“You’re right, Zayn. I didn’t look at it that way, but I know he didn’t mean to hurt me and really I’m being selfish. It did work out and now my dad’s being reasonable, so I should be thanking Lou, not yelling at him.”

“There ya go.”

I smile brightly, pretty proud of myself that I got through to him, and pull him into a hug.

“Let’s go eat. I’m sure Niall’s already ordered for himself.”

Harry nods and we walk out of the bathroom after he’s rinsed his face off with water. When we make it back to the table, Harry sits next to Niall and I take my place across from them.

“Thank god you two are back. I waited to order and I’m so hungry.”

Niall takes a sip of coffee and I can tell he’s a bit jittery, well more so than usual. Harry glances aroung in confusion.

“Where’s Liam?”

“He went to talk to Louis. Group effort, Haz.”

He smirks and begins to skim the menu.

 

__________

 

**LIAM’S P.O.V.**

 

We’ve been driving for a good five minutes and Louis hasn’t said a word. I’m trying to give him time to calm down completely before I attempt at reasoning with him.

“Where are we going?”

His eyes shift over to me, almost as if he forgot I was here and he lets out a long breath.

“I don’t know. I’m just driving right now.”

I nod and try to fight the noises my stomach is wanting to make since we skipped out on breakfast.

“Why was Harry upset, Lou?”

Louis sighs dramatically, although he knew when I got in the car that this conversation was inevitable. I wait patiently and watch his face as he searches for something to say before he begins to ramble.

“We went to lunch with his dad yesterday. You know how big of a deal it’s been for Harry: deciding whether to tell his dad or not. Well, that’s why we went. He was so intent on telling him and he did and I was so proud of him, Li. He was so brave and honestly, I thought we had nothing to worry about, but Des was an asshole. He was all in my face and accusing me of ‘turning his son gay’. It was awful and we left before we even ordered. Harry was a mess all day. When he went to bed that night, I couldn’t sleep. I kept thinking about how hurt Harry was and how unacceptable it was for his own father to treat him like that, with such lack of respect. I found out where he was staying and slipped out for a couple hours to talk to him. It went really well, Liam! We spoke calmly and he said he’d think about everything. I didn’t tell Harry because I didn’t want to get his hopes up, but then his dad texted him this morning and wants to spend time with him! I couldn’t hide how excited I was and he caught on fast that I was hiding something. Now, he’s so mad at me because he sees it as me ‘fighting his battles for him’ or some shit like that.”

I stare at Louis while he takes deep breaths, paying close attention to the road and fighting back tears. I place my hand on his shoulder soothingly and he pulls over, parking at the curb nearby. I don’t know where we are; it’s some side street of London.

“Lou, I know that you had the best intentions and that’s so great that it worked out well. But, Harry is probably just thinking of the ‘what-if’s’. I know that sounds pointless, but he worries about things a lot more than you do. You’re a pretty care-free person, Lou. You know when it’s the right time to worry and when it’s best to stay calm. Harry doesn’t though and it’s always been a strange dynamic with his dad because he’s always been searching for his approval. I know how he feels. I can’t bear the thought of my dad being disappointed in me, even if it were for something so important to me. Louis, you know how important you are to Harry-“

“Do I? To me, it seems like he’s a bit ashamed of me. First of all, it took him years to tell his dad about me and now, he cares more about what Des thinks than anything else!”

I shake my head in disagreement.

“That isn’t true and you know it. The fact that he told his dad about your relationship means so much, no matter when he decided to do it. I’m pretty sure he feels like you’re being selfish about it all by taking things into your own hands. Just try to see it from his perspective. He doesn’t want to seem weak to his dad and he feels like you’re doing everything for him. Like he’s a kid.”

“Alright, alright. I see what you mean. I don’t think he’s being reasonable, but feelings aren’t reasonable and he has the right to feel however he wants.”

Louis sighs and taps on the steering wheel.

“He was so pissed, Liam. How do I get him to forgive me?”

“Well, you should do something for him. Show him how much he means to you in a big way. Prove to him that you see him as a respectable.”

Louis’ eyes squint in concentration and the tapping of his fingers stops after a few minutes of uninterrupted silence.

“I know what I want to do, Liam. Something I’ve wanted to do for a while and it’s a big deal, so I’ll need your help.”

I grin eagerly, noticing the excitement in his face.

“Of course! Tell me what I need to do.”

Louis puts the car in drive and takes off, turning down a bigger and more familiar road.

“First off, we’re going shopping.”

 

 

 


	42. Chapter 42

**HARRY’S P.O.V.**

 

The rest of the day is better, but I haven’t spoken to Louis except for a brief text message in which I said sorry and that we should talk. All I received in return was _‘We will when I get home. It’ll be late. x.’_ It’s a little frustrating that he’s out the whole day after such a bad fight between us, but I assume it’s for good reason. He’s with Liam, which I only know because Liam told Niall. Zayn told me he would have stayed with me at the flat, but had to meet Perrie for some wedding planning stuff. So, Niall agreed to watch movies with me. We’ve watched _The Avengers_ and now, we’re half-way through _My Best Friend’s Wedding_ and I can’t help but to admire Julia Roberts’ character’s boldness. I like to think that Louis and I are pretty open with each other about our feelings, but there’s always tension when we have different viewpoints. Like today. He kind of has Eleanor. More than me, at least. Even though we started as friends, she’s around Louis a lot more and I feel like she takes his side more than mine. There really shouldn’t be sides.

“Haz, I want a Chinese for lunch. Are you cool with that?”

I snap out of my meaningless thought and face him as he sits up from the other couch. I pull the blanket up that’s draped over my body. If I pull it up to my shoulders, it doesn’t cover my feet and it’s really frustrating.

“Yeah, of course. There’s a place around the corner that delivers.”

“Sweet.”

“The menu’s in the drawer by the phone.”

Niall nods and stands up abruptly. He’s been fidgety ever since I put this movie in, so he’s probably been waiting for a reason to get up. I’m pretty hungry again since it’s been about four hours since we ate. I turn back to the movie and chuckle when George, Jules’ gay best friend, shows up at her hotel to surprise her and she fell asleep in a face mask. I wish I had a girl friend that I was that close to; someone who could help me deal with Louis sometimes. The guys are great, but they don’t see it all like I do. 

It really sucks sometimes that we left our homes so young. Hardly any of those friendships stuck while everyone moved on and went to Uni or started families. I’m close to my sister and my mum, at least. It’s not the same.

“What do you want, Harry?”

“Uh, whatever you get is fine. I’m not picky.”

I don’t even turn around to look at him when I speak. I’m lost in shallow thoughts about nothing. I’m actually pretty tired as well. I’ll probably fall asleep after I eat. Maybe if I sleep, the time will pass faster and Louis will be home. I won’t feel right until we talk it all out.

A few minutes later, Niall hops over the back of the couch and lands lightly on the cushions.

“It’ll be here in twenty.”

I nod and watch the movie again. I don’t know why, but I don’t feel like talking to Niall. I don’t want him to leave, though. That’s pretty selfish, but I know he doesn’t mind. He probably wishes we were watching something else, but he just wants me to be happy. He did pick the first movie.

He glances over at me a few times, probably to make sure I’m okay since I’m being quiet, before he settles back into the couch and stares at the telly.

I check my phone multiple times, but there’s nothing from anyone. I go on twitter and skim through the posts. There are a couple pictures of Louis and Liam leaving the restaurant. Then, there’s one of them at the mall. What the fuck? He’s really avoiding our much needed conversation to go shopping?

I keep scrolling, quicker, trying to find older tweets, and I end up seeing a dark photo of Louis walking into my dad’s hotel, hoodie up over his head. There is also a picture through the window of my dad, Lou, and I at the restaurant yesterday. Thank god it’s from before our discussion got heated. I’d hate to think that people got pictures of a moment like that. I don’t want to think about it, much less relive it through photographs.

I see a lot of people tweeting about that breakfast. _‘Boyfriends went to breakfast with Harry’s dad <3’. _How I wish it was like that. That’s how it was supposed to be. Maybe it still can be. Eventually.

I lock my phone and toss it aside when I hear a knock at the door. Before I can stand up, Niall jumps to his feet.

“I got it. Have to sign anyway since I gave them my card info. People probably shouldn’t see you at Louis’ place anyway.”

I nod in agreement and ignore the sting that settles in my heart every time I’m reminded of our forbidden relationship. It’s really down heartening. I stand up and walk back to our bedroom, deciding there was no better time to take a piss, and Niall opens the door.

As soon as I walk into the room, though, I’m distracted from my intended task by all of the memories littering the wall above our bed. I don’t think I’ll ever get bored of remembering all of these moments.

I sit on the bed, legs crossed comfortably, and take a moment to look at each picture. Each stepping stone of our relationship. The story of how we fell in love.

 

**LOUIS’ P.O.V.**

 

“I don’t fucking know, Liam. What do you think he’ll like?”

Liam’s been so damn giddy since I told him my plan. He can hardly help me pick an engagement ring. He’s useless.

“I don’t know! He’ll like whatever you pick out.”

I roll my eyes and look back at the glass case.

“I should have brought Eleanor.”

Liam’s jaw drops and he pretends to be hurt.

“Call her, then.”

I stick out my tongue and decide he’s probably got a point.

“Actually, I will. But, I want you to stay too. You said you’d drive to Holmes Chapel with me.”

“I know, I know! I said I would!”

I relax a little bit and pull my phone out to ring Eleanor. After two rings, she answers.

“Hello?”

“El! Hey, please tell me you aren’t busy.”

“Not really, no,” she whispers the next part, “I’m stuck at a lame meeting that I’d give anything to have an excuse to get out of.”

I laugh and let my eyes skim over the rings in the glass case again.

“How long would it take for you to get to Westfield?”

“You want me to go shopping with you?”

“Yeah. It’s important...”

“Sure, I can be there in fifteen, yeah?”

“Okay, meet me and Liam at Tiffany’s.”

“Tiffany’s?”

“El, just get here.”

“Okay, okay. I’m on my way.”

I hang up and look back at the case. There aren’t that many options for men’s rings, but Harry definitely needs something exciting. He already wears rings. I want this one to stand out. I want it to be special.

“Liam, why the hell is this such a difficult decision?”

“Because you love him.”

We’ve been speaking in low voices, so as to not draw attention to ourselves. I suppose if someone sees us here, I can always say I’m getting a gift for Eleanor. I don’t even fucking care right now. I’m nervous and excited and I just want it to be perfect. A woman has asked us if we need help about twelve times and it’s starting to piss me off. Here she comes again. 

“Mr. Tomlinson, can I help you with anything yet?”

“No, I’ll tell you if you can.”

Liam nudges my arm, scolding me for snapping, before apologizing.

“Sorry, he doesn’t like shopping.”

She smiles kindly and nods before walking away.

“Let’s go get tea while we wait for El.”

Liam nods and we walk together across the way to the cafe close by. We’re stopped a few times to take pictures with fans, but in all, this hasn’t been my worst experience at a shopping centre. After we wait in line and finally get our tea, we hurry back to the store to find Eleanor already there, speaking to the same woman that wouldn’t stop bugging me.

Liam and I walk over and I give her a quick hug and a peck on the cheek.

“I know why you’re here.”

“You do?”

She whispers after hugging Liam.

“You’re going to propose, aren’t you?”

I grin and she tries to contain her smile.

“Well, I’m having her bring some options to a private room so you can actually see them up close. You’re no pro at jewelry shopping, hon. Fear not, though. I’ve come to the rescue.”

I scoff and just shake my head as we follow her to the office in the back. It’s large and well decorated. The annoying woman is standing by the desk, motioning for us to sit down. Eleanor and I do, but Liam stands against the wall to my right.

“Once again, my name is Denise. Let me know if you have any questions.”

I suppose I can use her name. She’s told me ten times.

“Thanks, Denise.”

She nods and stands off to the side, sifting through some papers.

“Okay,” Eleanor sits up in her chair and leans over the desk, picking up the first option, “this one is neat. Do you want something unique or something that will blend in?”

“Unique. I want something cool. You know he likes weird stuff. I want to engrave it or something, too. Make it sentimental.”

Eleanor coos and I uncomfortably look between her and Denise.

“Don’t worry. She can’t say anything to anyone.”

I nod and breathe out a small sigh of relief.

“So, what about this one? It’s got some diamonds lining it.”

I shake my head. It’s too simple and dainty.

“Okay, this one is different. It’s gold on the edges and white gold elsewhere”

“Nah, too boring.”

Eleanor looks again and I can tell she’s weeding out ones I’ll probably say no to.

“Um- Denise?”

She’s all too quick at turning to face me.

“Yes, Mr. Tomlinson?”

“Do you have something that’s kind of big with like colored stone? I don’t care how much it costs. Bring out the best you’ve got.”

She smiles kindly and nods before disappearing behind the door.

I skim over the options laid out in front of me and decide that none of them will do.

“Yeah, I need different options.”

Eleanor sits back and nods patiently. I glance over to Liam and he looks bored beyond belief.

“I promise I’ll be done soon, Li. We have to get to Holmes Chapel before dark. I told Anne we’d be there around dinner time.”

“Did she seem suspicious since you asked her to not tell Harry?”

“Absolutely. But, you know her. She was thrilled, but definitely skeptical. Gemma’s there too, which I’m glad about.”

Liam nods and Eleanor is texting on her phone, not exactly paying attention. The door clicks open and Denise walks in with a new felt tray with all new ring options. These are much better; much more Harry.

“Okay, here you are. These are some unique options. they’re kept elsewhere because they typically aren’t considered traditional wedding bands.”

“Good. That’s exactly what I’m looking for.”

She grins and pulls the old tray from the desk, replacing it with the much more colorful options.

“Wow...”

Eleanor isn’t looking at her phone anymore, much more interested in the jewelry.

I skim over them. There are about ten, but one immediately catches my eye.

“That one. Right there.”

I point and Eleanor motions for me to pick it up. I do and hold it in my palm and examine it closely.

“This is perfect.”

It’s got two jewels that melt together in the middle. Sapphire and Emerald. Blue and green. Me and Harry.

The small diamonds around the larger stones litter the white gold all the way around. It’s unique, personal, and beautiful, but still masculine and just so... Harry.

“This is it.”

Denise is shocked, as is Eleanor. Liam is just glad we’re done. I don’t need to think about it. I knew I’d know when I saw it.

“Why that one?”

Eleanor waits for me to respond, but I don’t want to explain it. Harry will understand the moment he sees it and that’s how I want it.

“It’s just what I want,” I don’t snap at her, but I speak matter-of-factly. I look over to Denise and hold it up, “Can you guys engrave it and like fit it?”

I don’t know how all this shit works.

“Of course. What size should it be in?”

“Um, I’m not sure, but it’s two sizes bigger than my finger. I know that.”

She nods and asks me to give her my hand so she can try different sizes on it. Once she’s written down a bunch of numbers, she asks what I want engraved on it.

“On the inside, I want it to have two swallows. Can you do that or does it have to be words?”

“We can do it based on a picture if you have one.”

“Perfect.”

I can’t stop smiling. I pull my phone out and look through different folders of pictures until I find the original drawing for Harry’s tattoo.

“Exactly like this. Like the size difference and everything.”

Eleanor practically squeals next to me and even Liam seems to like the idea.

“Wonderful. Just email it to the address on my card and I can print it out and get it to the jeweler in no time. I can rush it and you can have it by this weekend. Does that work?”

“That’s absolutely perfect. Thank you so much.”

Maybe Denise isn’t so bad.

 

__________

 

“Li, we’re here. Wake up.”

Liam fell asleep about an hour into the drive. Two more hours later and we’re finally pulling down the long drive to Harry’s mum’s house. I see Gemma’s car outside and the sun is starting to set. We made good time. I’m sure Anne has dinner on the table.

“Jesus. How long did I sleep?”

“Two hours.”

“Sorry, mate.”

“It’s good. I’m just glad you came with me.”

Liam grins sleepily and I put the car in park.

“You know, it’s pretty funny how we didn’t get along at first. I think we’ve balanced each other out in the past four years.”

I chuckle and nod in agreement.

“Yeah, you’re not as much of a prude, I suppose.”

We walk to the door and I knock once.

“Yeah, you’re not as irresponsible and careless either.”

It’s true. I was such a kid when we all met. Now, here I am, asking my boyfriends family if I can marry him.

“Lou! Liam! Come in, it’s so good,” Anne pulls me close and kisses my cheek mid-sentance, “to see you,” then it’s Liam’s turn, “both.”

We take our shoes off and follow Anne into the kitchen, where Gemma is propped up on a stool. She jumps up when we enter and hugs us both excitedly.

“Your call was a nice surprise, but you know you can’t wait to tell us why you’re here and why it’s all a secret from Harry. Mum and I have been anxious for hours.”

I laugh and put my keys on the counter.

“Where’s Robin? I want him here too.”

“Robin, dear! Get down here quick please.”

I should have prepared what I was going to say more in the car. I just couldn’t think properly. Oh well, I’m comfortable with them all. They’re already like my family.

“What’s all the fuss about?”

Robin steps down the last stair and notices me and Liam.

“Hey, guys! Finally here, I see. These women were rambling for hours, trying to figure it all out.”

I chuckle nervously and sit next to Gemma. Anne leans over the counter and Robin stand with her, his arm around her waist. Liam stands back, but stays in the room.

“Well, I guess there’s no easy way to say it...” I make eye contact with each member of Harry’s family. “Anne, I want to marry your son.”

Anne’s hand quickly clasps over her mouth, tears already glazing over her eyes. She isn’t as shocked as I expected, but I assume that this was probably on the list of ideas Gemma and Anne had about why I was coming.

Gemma puts her arm over my shoulders and gently squeezes. Robin is smiling ear to ear and I feel like I should officially ask.

“So, of course, I wanted your permission,” I look at each of the three of them again, “All of you.”

I turn to Gemma first and she pulls me into a full hug.

“Fuck yes.”

I laugh and expect Anne to shoot her a disapproving look, but she doesn’t. I turn to Robin next and he’s holding onto Anne gleefully.

“Of course, Louis. I’d be thrilled to have you as an official son.”

He smiles proudly and I finally look back to Anne. She’s full on crying now, tears streaming down her cheeks. Instead of simply answering, she walks over to where I sit. She places her hands on either side of my face, like Harry often does when I’m being ignorant just before he kisses me.

“A million times yes.”

I smile more than I’ve smiled in a very long time and when she hugs me, I rest my head on her shoulder lovingly. I feel tears sting the corners of my eyes and before I know it, I’m practically crying as much as Anne.


	43. Chapter 43

**HARRY’S P.O.V.**

 

I wake up the same way as most mornings, with Louis’ limbs tangled messily in mine. Only this morning, I want to yell at him because he was meant to wake me up when he got home. We never talked about everything that happened and our argument. 

I ended up falling asleep before I even ate, drifting off while daydreaming about the good old days. I wasn’t under the covers when I fell asleep, though. Nor was I in just my briefs. Louis must have tried waking me up and settled on just getting me comfortable instead. I do that a lot-- wake up, but not enough to understand my surroundings.

I unravel Louis’ arms from around me and manage to get out of bed without waking him. It’s ten in the morning and I can’t believe I slept that much, seeing as I fell asleep before eight. I suppose I had had a long couple of days.

Even though I’m pissed at Louis for avoiding our conversation, I can’t imagine waking him up to have it. He’ll just be moody and unaware and that isn’t how I want to discuss such things.

I love Louis and I know I always will, which is why I’m able to get over arguments easily. Louis isn’t the same way, though. I worry sometimes that he’s going to just have enough of me one day and leave me for good. I suppose he hasn’t done it yet, so I should meditate on it, but it’s always in the back of my mind. I try not to overreact too often, because that’s the last thing I want to happen- Louis leaving me.

I can’t live without him. He’s everything to me.

I take a piss and brush my teeth before leaving our bedroom quietly and sitting down on the couch with my iPhone. I have a new email from Jason and two unread messages.

 

_FROM: Jason Parrish_

_TO: Harry Styles_

_Subject: Armani_

_Harry,_

_The Armani shoot apparently went well and they expect that your pictures will be featured in their Fall catalog, so expect to see the advertisements in the coming months. I suppose you cooperated well and that you deserve warning before you’re displayed all over London in just your pants._

_Also, I suppose we should set up a meeting. I’ve spoken to the other boys and they said that the day and time depends on you and Louis, so get back to me when you can. Thanks._

_Sincerely,_

_Jason Parrish_

_Executive Director_

_Modest! Management_

 

 

Wow. Jason is actually... being friendly. Well, friendly for him, but it’s still nice. I wonder what that meeting will be about. I’ll have to ask Louis when would be a good time after we discuss more important thing.

 

*FROM: Niall

Hey, I didn’t want to wake you up when I left, but I locked up. Love you guys and hope everything worked out. x*

 

I grin at his sweet message and quickly send a ‘thanks for spending time with me and sorry I fell asleep’ before reading the next message.

 

*FROM: Dad

What time should I come over? Louis doesn’t need to leave, by the way.*

 

I wonder what has changed his mind, but it would be nice to spend some time with them together that wasn’t wasted on arguing.

 

*TO: Dad

Are you sure? Thank you for being understanding. Come over at six?*

 

I look around the room and decide that I should straighten up. I chuckle at Niall’s attempt to fold the blankets we used last night. I stand up and re-fold them, making sure that the living room looks presentable. It typically does, unless I leave Louis alone for more than a couple days. Clutter tends to pile up when he’s left to his own devices.

“Haz?”

His raspy voice comes from the bedroom and I’m tempted to ignore him so he’ll come out here and talk to me, but I can’t resist him in our bed with his messy morning hair, yawning and trying to cuddle while he wakes up. 

When I walk into the bedroom, sure enough Louis is cuddled up to my pillow, the sheets halfway exposing his lean, toned torso.

“Morning, Lou.”

He rolls over and grins sleepily with his eyes squinting to avoid the light shining through the window.

“Hi, baby. Com’ere.”

I scoff and walk over to my side of the bed, slipping back under the warm duvet. I pull him close to me and he nuzzles into my neck, giving me a place to lay my head- where his was.

“I’m sorry about yesterday, Harry. I really I am. I was only trying to help, but I should have spoken to you first.”

I kiss the top of his head, smiling against his wispy hair as it tickles my nose.

“I’m sorry, too. I know you were only trying to protect me and no matter how much I say I don’t need you to save me, I do. I should have known that you wouldn’t have done anything that would potentially hurt me. I should have been thanking you because my dad’s completely changed his attitude.”

Louis moves his head so that he’s facing me, his head resting on my bicep.

“Did we- just handle a disagreement like adults?”

I wrap my arm around him and pull him toward me, pecking his nose.

“A day after we handled it like children.”

“Hey, it’s a new record for us, I think.”

We both laugh and now that he’s fully awake, he wraps his warm, comforting arms around my bare waist.

“You know, Lou-“

“Hmm?”

He hums with his lips resting against my shoulder.

“We still have plenty of time for gratuitous make-up sex and a nap before we have to worry about my dad getting here. He said you can stay, by the way. I think he’s warming up to our relationship and actually wants t-”

“Woah, woah. Back up a bit and stop rambling. You know make-up sex is my favorite.”

He winks playfully and rolls on top of me, lazily pinning me into the mattress with his body. I reach up and ruffle his hair, tugging at it before pulling his face down to roughly collide our lips. He keeps his tightly closed despite my tongue prodding them open.

“Wait, babe. Let me brush my teeth.”

I giggle and he pecks my forehead before hopping out of bed swiftly, with more energy than I’ve ever seen from him in the morning. I lay back against the pillow and sigh in content while Louis rushes through his morning routine. Before I know it, he bounces back onto the bed and immediately finds his way to me, covering as much of my body as he can with his. Louis’ hands rest on either side of my face and before he presses his forehead against mine.

“I love you, babe.”

Before I can respond, his lips are on mine, soft yet with purpose. I part my lips and his tongue slips through, massaging mine and leaving behind a minty taste. I grin against his kiss and wrap my arms around his waist, flipping us over so that I’m straddling his hips. I sit up on my knees and Louis hooks his fingers under the elastic of my briefs. He pulls them down to the middle of my thighs and my half-hard cock drags along on his stomach.

“Wanna try something, Harry.”

I nod enthusiastically because I’ll try anything for Louis and I haven’t been disappointed by his imagination yet.

“Get the lube.”

I lean over excitedly and open the drawer next to where he typically sleeps. I quickly find the small bottle and hand it to him. I lift one leg up at a time and pull my pants off entirely. Louis reaches down and shimmies off his boxers, kicking them off and letting them fall off of the mattress.

“C’mere.”

He pats his chest with one hand and then brings both of his palms down to rest on my arse, pulling my hips up toward his face. I gasp as I feel his warm breath against my groin, making me grow harder. Louis digs his fingers into my bum cheek while his other hand skims over my thigh, grasping my length in his fist and bringing it to his mouth. As his lips wrap around the head of my cock, my jaw falls in delight. Louis lifts his head up enough to take me deeper into his warm, wet mouth and I resist the urge to roughly thrust my hips. My head falls back and I run my fingers through Louis’ already disheveled hair, tugging at it as he bobs his head quickly.

“Fuck, Lou.”

As he urges me to move myself in and out of his mouth, I begin to take over my movement, knowing that I’m going at a comfortable pace. Louis’ hands soon disappear and the pop of the lube cap opening is almost drowned out by my pants and moans. A hand is placed on my hip, slowing my light thrusts until I’m hardly moving at all. Then, a cool slick finger traces over my hole, making me shudder in anticipation. I move my body again, this time pushing back toward Louis’ finger, begging him to do something. With a sharp inhale, Louis hollows his cheeks and sucks sharply as his finger delves in. I clench in shock, but soon relax, whimpering at the familiar, yet foreign feeling. Soon, there’s a second and then a third finger and I’m incapable of holding off anymore.

“Louis, oh my god, I’m-uh- I’m gonna-“

I expect Louis to pull his mouth off so that I can come with him inside of me, but he doesn’t. Instead, he makes a point of taking me in entirely, pushing me forward by thrusting his fingers in forcefully, brushing over my prostate. His nose pokes at my lower abdomen and he swallows hard and rubs my prostate with the tips of his fingers. I come hard; harder than I have in god knows how long, a string of explicit curses and incomprehensible words emitting my mouth. Louis swallows everything I offer and pulls his fingers away as I relax a little, scooting back and laying down on top of him with my face resting on his.

“I’m not done with you yet, love.”

I’m still trying to catch my breath when Louis opens the lube again and pours it generously in his palm. I kiss his cheek and his neck before moving down his body so that I’m straddling his waist again. Louis lazily jerks himself, spreading the lubricant all over his cock.

I love when Louis has ideas that involve me coming more than once. That may sound greedy, but it’s so fucking hot when he takes control of my body like this. Louis digs his fingers into my hip and pulls me down. I leave my chest flush against his and kiss him deeply as I feel his tip between my bum. Slowly I sink back, hissing in pain against his lips. Eventually, I feel his thighs against my ass and I gyrate my hips to adjust fully.

“So fucking full, Lou. God, I love you.”

Louis moans effortlessly against my lips and I kiss him again as I lift up and slam my body back onto him. I tug at his hair and drag my body against his, my slowly hardening cock rubbing against his stomach.

“Fucking already hard again for you, baby.”

He groans in response and I know he’s too far gone to speak. I pull away from his mouth and sit up to get a better angle for riding him. Louis lifts his legs up and I reach back to balance on his knees. I lift myself up and roll my hips sensually to find the perfect spot. I cry out when he hits it and Louis takes my sensitive member in his hand to intensify the pleasure. I lift up and fall back down so that he hits my prostate over and over. By leaving my hands on his knees, I’m able to apply more pressure to each and every bounce.

“Fuck, Haz. I’m so close.”

I nod and continue my rhythm for a couple more seconds, but when I can tell that Louis is on the very edge, I take him in deep and roll my hips slowly while leaning down to kiss him. Louis moans deafeningly into my mouth and fills me while pumping my length in his hand while it’s trapped between out chests. He bucks his hips up and assaults my prostate while gripping my cock tighter. He flicks his wrist two more times and I’m coming for the second time, painting our chests in hot white stripes.

I pull away from our lazy, unattended kiss and rest my forehead against Louis’ breathing heavily as we both come down from our highs.

“I think we should take a shower and a long nap.”

I nod in agreement and smile as he wraps his arms around my waist. After laying here for a minute, Louis sits up and holds on to me tightly as he stands up and carries me to the bathroom with my legs wrapped around him. We step into the shower and he slowly pulls out of me, making me groan from the emptiness I’m left with. I kiss him softly and release the grip of my legs. As soon as I’m standing, I can feel his come leaving my body and dripping down my leg. I turn the shower on and step out of the faucet’s trail as I press Louis’ back against the wall.

“I love you so fucking much, Louis.”

“I know, Harry. I love you too.”

I kiss him then as if I’ve never kissed him before. I close my eyes tight and attempt to commit this moment to memory. This small moment, just like all the others littering the wall above our bed, is something I never want to forget.

 

_________________

 

 

**LOUIS’ P.O.V.**

 

“Babe, calm down. It’ll be alright.”

Harry is frantically gathering ingredients in the kitchen for some recipe he’s never tried before.

“I know, I’m just nervous. I don’t know, I guess I wouldn’t have been had that damned lunch never occurred.”

I move away from the counter I’ve been leaning against to watch him from and wrap my arms around his waist from behind, causing him to stop in his tracks. I lay my head against his shoulder blade and squeeze him tightly.

“It’s all going to be okay. Calm down and try to enjoy yourself.”

Harry covers my hands with his and pushes himself closer to me before turning around. I push a stray curl out of his face and he leans down to kiss me properly. 

“Thank you, Louis.”

I peck his lips again and rest my hands in the back pocket of his impossibly tight jeans.

“For what, love?”

“Just everything. I feel like no one deserves to be as happy as I am with you.”

I can’t help but to blush at his over exaggerated, sappy comment.

“You deserve anything your heart desires.”

He grins and kisses my forehead.

“I honestly can’t think of one thing I want that I don’t have. Even still, I’d be happy if the only thing I had were you. Maybe that’s what I want. For everything else to go away.”

I chuckle against his shoulder and open my mouth to speak, but I’m halted by a knock at the door.

“Shit-“

“Harry, calm down. I’ll go get the door and you keep cooking.”

I smack his bum and kiss the corner of his mouth before wigging out of his embrace and making my way to the living room. I take a deep breath and open the door, finding Harry’s father nervously pacing the small space in front of our door.

“Hello Mr. Styles, please come in.”

He nods curtly and forces a smile that I’m surprised he has even given me. He slips off his shoes and places them against the wall before looking around as if he were impressed with out flat. He finally turns to me and holds out a hesitant hand, which I shake kindly.

“Nice place. Where’s Harry?”

“Thanks, he’s-um, in the kitchen. Right over here.”

I guide him to the kitchen and feel anxiety take over my body. Sure, things aren’t too awkward now, but I don’t look forward to the conversation I plan to have with him when Harry isn’t within earshot.

 

 

 

 

 


	44. Chapter 44

**HARRY’S P.O.V.**

 

I really shouldn’t be this nervous to spend an evening with my dad, but I can’t help it after the last time me and Louis were with him. We’re seated in the living room while the rice finishes cooking. Once it’s nearly finished, I can put the chicken in the oven.

Dad and Louis are making small talk, but all I can do is worry about how dinner will turn out. I don’t know why I tried a new recipe tonight. I should have just made spaghetti.

“Have you guys seen Gemma recently?”

I open my mouth to speak at the same time as Louis, but as I begin to shake my head, his cheeks turn an embarrassed shade of pink and he closes his lips. I’m bewildered by his behavior, but quickly forget about it so that I can properly answer dad’s question.

“No, not in a while. Have you?”

“Unfortunately not. She’s been visiting your mother,” he rolls his eyes as he always does at the mention of mum, “but I think she’ll be back in London at the end of the week. Perhaps we can all go to lunch.”

“Sure; how long are you staying in London?”

I’m surprised that Louis is pretending to care. He’s been very civilized and I’m starting to wonder what exactly was said during their late night chat.

“I’m not positive. I’ll probably head home sometime next week. Jo has been with her family.”

It’s a shame really. I’m sure if dad’s wife were here, he wouldn’t have ever reacted so intensely.

“Tell her hello.”

He nods and smiles at me just as I hear the timer going off in the other room. I reluctantly stand up to leave my dad and Louis in a room alone.

“I’ll be back in a few. Do you want something to drink, Dad?”

“I’ll get him something, Hazz.”

Louis chimes in and I nod my head in thanks before Louis guides dad to the bar.

This is going too well.

 

**LOUIS’ P.O.V.**

 

“Pick your poison.”

I chuckle nervously as Des’ eyes skim over our selection of alcohol. 

“Scotch, please. Just on ice.”

I nod and find a tumbler in the cupboard. The bar is against the far wall in the living room and I know Harry can’t hear us. Now’s my chance. I make sure to fill the glass with ice and pour a considerable amount of the dark liquor before beginning my conversation. I hand it to Harry’s father and he takes a sharp swig.

“I- uh, wanted to talk to you about something... While Harry isn’t here.”

His eyes cast down to his glass and he swirls it around, filling the room with the noise of clanking ice cubes.

“Well, I assume it isn’t going to be my favorite conversation, so let’s get on with it.”

I can tell that he isn’t trying to be rude; only honest.

“Well, I know it’s all a bit new to you, but lately me and Harry’s relationship has been a little... rickety, so to speak.” I pause to gather my thoughts and ensure that Des is still listening. He is, so I continue, “We haven’t had all the support that we would like, and I’m honestly not referring to you. We’ve dealt with a lot of shit from our management and they haven’t made it easy.”

I can tell that he just wants me to get to my point and I gnaw at the inside of my cheek as I prepare myself to reach my inevitable conclusion. My palms are sweating and my pulse is racing.

“I want Harry to know how devoted I am to him and I think that the best way to do that is for me to ask him to marry me. Of course, I would love your blessing, but I don’t expect it. I have it all planned out and I know Harry would love for you to be there with the rest of our friends and family. I’d like that, too. With all due respect, though, I plan on asking him with or without your approval.”

Des has chugged the rest of his drink in the time it has taken me to say it all and I don’t know what to expect. It takes him a minute to recover from the shock before he speaks in a feeble tone.

“It’s a little sudden, isn’t it?”

“Not really. I mean, we’ve been together for years. We just need something to hold on to. If he says yes, it doesn’t mean we’ll be married in the next few months. All of that would have to be discussed-“

“There’s no doubt in my mind that he’ll say yes.”

He seems quite confident in that. More confident than me. Not that I think Harry wants anything but a life with me... I just hope he’s ready for that kind of commitment. Either way, I need him to know that I am ready.

“Well... What are your thoughts on it?”

He sighs deeply and looks down at his cup of ice. I pick up the bottle of scotch again and re-fill his glass.

“I- I don’t know. I get that I really have no say in this, but of course I don’t want my only son to be married before he’s even twenty. You’re both really young.”

That’s his issue with the prospect of us getting married? Our ages?

“I understand that, but we met when we were young and we’re in love. If we lived different lives and didn’t have so much speculation all the time, then maybe our relationship would have progressed at a different pace. But, this is the way things are and this is what I want. If it’s what Harry wants as well, then I don’t see the point in waiting until we’re older. I’ll never stop loving him, sir.”

Des takes a deep breath and takes another gulp before setting his glass down on the counter. He puts his hands in his pockets and does his best to make polite eye contact with me.

“If you want my opinion: wait. I know you won’t, though, and if it makes Harry happy, then you have my blessing-“

“Oh my god, thank you so much.”

I feel a weight being lifted off of my chest and I breathe in, fighting the urge to hug the man that I wanted to punch only two days ago.

“I wasn’t done. I don’t know that I’ll be there for it... It’s all just too much, too fast. Let me think it over, okay?”

I nod, trying to hide my disappointment. He’s already surprised me so much that I can’t have him thinking I expect more.

“I understand. I hope you’ll come. Jo is welcome as well, of course. It will be here on Sunday evening. Just promise me you won’t tell him.”

I motion my arm toward the kitchen where Harry is cluelessly cooking our meal.

“Of course. What good would that do? I don’t hate you, Louis. Even if that’s what you think. I know I said some hurtful things, but you’ve done nothing to hurt my son and that’s all that matters. Jo talked some sense into me after you came by the other night.”

I nod and feel like bursting with joy. I imagined a thousand ways this could have gone, but this wasn’t one of them. Thank god for Harry’s step-mother.

“Thank you, really. It means the world to me and it’s going to make Harry so incredibly happy.”

“Well, that’s why I’m trying to adjust to it all. I only want him to be happy and I can see that you make that happen. There’s no denying that.”

I can feel myself blushing at his words. It’s an honor to have Harry’s own father tell me he sees me making his son happy.

“He makes me happy too. Happiest man in the world.”

We both grin and I finally feel like I understand Harry’s dad a little more. He’s protective and was probably shocked by our proclamation of love. To see how hard he’s trying for his son proves how much he loves him.

Just when I feel that there is nothing more to say without making awkward small talk, Harry pokes his head around the corner and calls us into the dining room.

“Dinner’s ready!”

Des nudges my arm with his elbow and smirks.

“Proper housewife, eh?”

I laugh in surprise at his remark and we walk into the dining room to find a neatly set table and more food than we could possibly eat. I look up at Harry and flash him a wide smile, followed by a wink.

“Looks great, babe.”

 

_________________

 

**HARRY’S P.O.V.**

 

If I thought pre-dinner conversation was civilized, then I’d have to say my dad and Louis are acting like proper friends now.

The food turned out fine and I was relieved by that, but I’m starting to question whether Louis drugged my dad’s drink or something because he’s been acting all happy-go-lucky. 

Dinner was better than anyone could have hoped for and now that my dad is standing at the door with a coffee to-go, I’m just waiting for something terrible to happen.

“Harry, you should bring Louis over some time. Jo and I haven’t had you over in ages.”

Did he really just fucking include Louis in that invitation? To his home?

“Sure, that would be... lovely.”

Louis nods in agreement and wraps a lazy arm around my waist. I lean forward and give my dad a one-armed hug and to my complete surprise, he does the same to Louis. I almost feel like I’m dreaming as I watch my dad, who not more than two days ago yelled in our faces, hugging my boyfriend. My perfect, wonderful boyfriend.

“Thanks for having me. It was good to see you both. And... I’m sorry about how I acted before.”

There it is. The official apology.

“Wow, um- thank you for coming, dad. It really means the world to me. I love you.”

He covers my shoulder with his hand and squeezes gently.

“I love you too, son.”

We exchange our final goodbyes and just like that, without any dramatic outrage, he’s gone. When the door shuts, Louis tightens his grip on my waist and joins his other arm in the embrace. I’m entirely and pleasantly shocked.

“What the hell just happened?”

Louis smirks and leans up on his toes to peck the corner of my mouth.

“Your dad did what he should have done from the beginning. See? Everything’s perfect now.”

I grin because, yeah; it is perfect.

I rest my arms on Louis’ shoulders and plunge my fingers into his styled hair. I tug on it so that he’s forced to look up at me and I simply stand there, gazing into his flawless blue eyes and all I can do is smile. Smile and murmur three seemingly overused words in our home.

“I love you.”

Before he can respond with the same thing he always does, I press an open-mouthed kiss to his lips and we stand in the doorway like this for at least ten minutes, passionately kissing and groping, enjoying every last second we spend in each others’ arms.

I reach down and easily find one of my favorite parts of Louis’ body, grabbing his arse with both of my hands. He moans against my lips as I slowly guide him backwards and press his back gently against the door.

“Mmm, Harry,” I release his mouth, but keep my lips busy on his jaw and neck while he speaks, “Need you, babe. Want you to make love to me. Now.”

I nod and pull his skin between my teeth, sucking a bruise above his collarbone. When I pull away to admire my physical claim on his body, I blow cool air onto it. Louis’ bare feet are planted on the hard floor, spread out on either side of my legs. I bend my knees for the perfect angle to roll my hips into his while kissing him again. I tighten my grip on his bum and then trail my hands down the back of his legs while pressing my body firmly against his. He quickly catches on and jumps up, wrapping his legs around my hips without breaking our heated kiss.

I back away from the door I had him pinned against and carry him blindly through the archway nearest me, the one leading into the dining room.

I stop at the closest end of the table and kick the chair out of the way that I had occupied during dinner. I set Louis down at the very edge of the table and run my hands firmly down his legs to ensure that they stay there; hugging me tightly. Louis nibbles on my bottom lip and I pull back, kissing his forehead before reaching behind him and sliding the remaining dishes to the other side of the table. I sincerely hope they don’t slide off the end, but I’m not all too concerned with that right now.

Now would be the time that Louis would normally make some kinky remark about how I’m a bad boy for wanting to fuck on the same table my father just sat at. But, he asked me to make love to him and that’s much different than fucking. I kiss Louis deeply, feeling my way up his shirt, his soft skin warm under my frigid fingers.

Louis moans against my lips as I reach over to gently tug at his nipple.

“Mm.. Hands are cold.”

I grin against his swollen mouth and trail my fingers back along his side to rest them on his hips.

“Sorry baby. I’ll be right back, okay? Stay here.”

He nods and sweetly pecks my nose before unravelling his legs from my waist. I pinch his bum facetiously and hurry off to our bedroom to gather the almost empty bottle of lube and make a mental note to buy more. We’ve gone through this one quite quickly.

When I walk back into the dining room, I nearly drop the bottle in my hand and my jaw falls slack. Louis is exactly where I left him, only he’s not wearing a bit of clothing. His legs are spread and his feet are flat at the edge of the table top as he holds his erection in a delicate hand. 

“Jesus, Lou.”

My voice doesn’t reach any tone above a whisper, but I swear it still cracks. I approach the table and set the bottle down before pulling my shirt over my head. Louis sits up and lets his legs hang over the edge as I slot my hips between them.

I place my hands gingerly on either side of his face and reunite our lips in a slow, purposeful kiss as he reaches between our bodies and unfastens the button of my jeans. He tugs them down along with my pants and they drag along my thighs. When they are farther than Louis can reach, I pull away and lean down to rid them completely. I remember Louis’ comment about my hands being cold, so I rub them together before reaching for the lube and coating three fingers on my right hand liberally. Louis lays back on the table without being told and I stand between his legs, leaning down to place a chaste kiss on his lips, then his chest, and finally his stomach.

Louis’ right leg hitches over my shoulder and the other hooks around my waist, pulling me closer. I skim my left hand over his leg and hold onto his hip heavily as I push my index finger into his tight heat. He hisses in discomfort and I continue my left hand in it’s journey up his torso until I reach his shoulder; then I stroke my hand down his tattooed arm and finally intertwine his smaller fingers with mine. I grip his hand as my finger fully enters him. I begin to pull it out slowly and then back in until he has adjusted. I turn my head and kiss his knee that is draped over my shoulder beautifully as I add another finger. He adapts quicker this time and I begin to curl my fingers as they plunge deep into him. Finally I hit his prostate and he’s writhing beneath me on the table. I continue to move my hands slowly, wanting to savor each moment. Louis’ eyes are shut tight in pleasure.

“Boo, open your eyes please.”

His body relaxes at the sound of my voice and his eyes flicker open to meet mine. I can’t help but to grin at his content face and he gives me a concentrated smile in return. I stretch my fingers slowly and his mouth falls open in delight. I add a third finger to stretch him some more before pulling my hand back and pouring more lubricant into my palm to spread over my now throbbing cock. I wipe the lube off of my hand onto the shirt I had apparently thrown on the table and rest my hands on Louis’ chest. I pull his other leg to my free shoulder and caress his body as I slowly guide my length into his slick hole.

“Fuck, Harry. So good.”

His words come out in pants and I lean over his body carefully until his knees are touching his chest and my lips are on his. I kiss him with determination while I slowly push farther into him, pulling back a little only so he can accommodate more of me. After a couple minutes, my hips are flush against his arse and I stay there a while longer, luxuriate in the feeling of being so close. I leisurely pull my hips away and roll them back to Louis, feeling all of him except for the one part he’d probably prefer. I eventually strengthen my thrusts, but I keep them ever so slow. The only friction Louis gets against his erection is the soft contact my abdomen makes as I lean over to keep our lips sealed together.

“Touch me, Harry.”

He moves his lips against mine and my heavy breathing is the only reason I’ve pulled away enough for him to be audible. I simply shake my head and snap my hips with more power.

“No, baby. You’re going to come like this, yeah?”

He seems astonished for a moment, but is soon nodding his head. I pull his legs up farther and rest my hands under his bum to lift his hips off of the table. This angle is instantly a success as I drive into him with slow, yet vigorous thrusts. Louis cries out as I reach his prostate, prodding it over and over with my cock until he has actual tears streaming down his face in pure pleasure.

“Oh m’god, Harry. I’m so-o close!”

I balance his hips with one hand placed carefully at the small of his back and reach my left hand up to wipe away the tears.

“I am too, Lou. You feel s’good. Love you s’much.”

As he moans and screams profanely, I return his hips to the table and lean down to capture his lips in mine once more, wanting to feel all of him as he comes. And he does come; between our chests without so much as a stroke of my hand and as I feel his quick breaths on my lips, I follow close behind him, filling him up.

I collapse on top of him, leaving lazy, uncoordinated kisses on whichever part of his body is accessible.

“I love you, Harry. So fucking much that it hurts.”

I smirk as I peck his chest, licking up a bit of come that landed there.

“Oh, babe that’s just my cock in your ass.”

He swats the back of my head playfully and we both laugh before I pick him up and carry him to the shower as he had done for me earlier this morning.

Then I realize that I’ve come three times today and had the most successful dinner with my dad imaginable.

“Today has been the best day ever, Lou.”

 

**LOUIS’ P.O.V.**

 

I hope to change that this weekend.

 


	45. Chapter 45

**HARRY’S P.O.V.**

 

I roll over in me and Louis’ semi-lit bedroom, expecting to drape my arm over his sleeping body, only to feel cool, empty sheets.

“Lou,” my voice is scratchy and quiet, so I clear my throat and repeat myself, “Lou?”

“Babe? Why are you awake?”

His voice is coming from the closet and I scrunch my eyebrows together in confusion. I’m still waking up and nothing is really connecting in my head. I yawn loudly and roll over to better project my voice to where he is.

“I could ask you the same thing.”

He steps out of the walk-in closet, wearing boxers that he didn’t fall asleep in. In fact, he was entirely naked just like I am now.

“Well, it was meant to be a surprise, but you woke up at six on a Friday for some god-awful reason.”

I chuckle and cuddle up to my pillow, closing my eyes to block the bits of sunlight shining through the window.

“What’s meant to be a surprise?”

He approaches the bed and rolls me onto my back before climbing on top of the blankets, placing his legs on either side of my hips. I open my eyes as he leans down to kiss me softly.

“We’re going on holiday.”

I stroke my hands down his bare chest and let them rest at the elastic that begins his single piece of clothing.

“And where on earth are we going?”

He kisses my forehead and runs his fingers through my mess of hair.

“Now that is going to stay a surprise, my dear. Don’t worry, I’m packing for you.”

“Dear? You’re making us sound like an old married couple. How do I know you’ve packed everything I want?”

Louis chuckles and kisses my lips again.

“Just trust me, okay? Go back to sleep, love. I have to go out for a bit and we’re leaving in the afternoon. No reason to be awake right now.”

He tries to leave the bed, but I hold onto his waist and pull him back, forcing him to lay down on top of me.

“Then why are you? You’re being so secretive.”

I make sure to include traces of suspicion in my tone, even though I know he’s not up to something bad. I just like to tease him. He smirks and nips at my jaw playfully.

“All part of the surprise. Don’t even try to get it out of me. It won’t work.”

It must be a big surprise then, because Louis can never keep a secret from me. Ever.

“Fine, I won’t try to ruin it even though I really do hate surprises.”

Louis scoffs and gently pinches my nipple, forcing a small moan from me.

“That’s just something people who secretly love surprises say.”

I giggle and pull him closer so that I can kiss him without making the effort to sit up.

“Alright, stop distracting me. You don’t want it to be a shit surprise, do you?”

I huff and release my grasp on his waist. He kisses me once more and stands up.

“I demand you go back to sleep.”

I nod my head and close my eyes again. It doesn’t sound like a bad idea.

“Yes, master.”

He chuckles and disappears back into the closet.

 

**LOUIS’ P.O.V.**

 

Once I have everything packed, including Harry’s ridiculous head scarves that I know he’ll complain about if they’re missing, I kiss his forehead as he snores softly and bring our bags to the living room. I leave them there and fetch my wallet, keys, and shoes before going over the list I made in my head. I probably should have written it down, but that just isn’t how I do things.

Once I’m comfortable with everything being packed, I leave the flat in clothes that I plan on changing before we officially leave London. I climb into my car and send my mum a text that I’m on my way so that she can leave as well. She’s bringing the girls to meet me halfway in Leicaster. She wasn’t originally thrilled with the idea, but after I begged her and assured her that it was really important, she agreed to drive the hour and a half. I’m driving a bit longer than her because Leicaster is just a good place to meet. I don’t wish for anyone to be in the car with my sisters for much longer than necessary anyway.

I begin to drive and turn the radio on to get me through two lonely hours on the road.

 

__________

 

“Louis!”

Phoebe and Daisy practically yell when they spot me in the nearly empty restaurant. Mum requested a table near the secluded corner, which is always a good idea if you don’t want a bunch of eavesdroppers.

“Hello girls!”

I squat down and open my arms wide as they run into them. I hug them tightly before standing up and guiding them back to the table. I briefly kiss my mum’s cheek, followed by Lottie and Fizzy, before sitting down between mum and the twins.

“So, why are we here?”

I roll my eyes at Fizzy and stick my tongue out at her.

“Good to see you too, Fizz.”

She returns the gesture and smiles.

“You know I’m glad to see you. It just seems like something important.”

“Well, it is. Can we just order first?”

All of the girls nod reluctantly, including mum, who seems almost as impatient as my younger sisters. She has no idea what I’m about to say, but she has always told me I can tell the girls about my relationship when I’m ready. And I’m ready. There’s just also a bit of a surprise for her as well.

The waitress takes our drink orders and disappears again, leaving us all to sit in anticipating silence.

“So, Dan couldn’t come?”

“No, he had work. I had to pull the girls out of school. It is a Friday, you know?”

“Yeah, yeah. You can relay the news then. I’m sure the girls didn’t complain about missing school.”

They all shake their head enthusiastically.

“What news is this exactly?”

“Good lord, mum. Five more minutes, eh?”

She rolls her eyes and laughs nervously. God knows what she’s expecting me to tell her. I don’t think she’ll be disappointed. Probably just shocked.

Our waitress returns with our drinks and everyone puts in their order for brunch. When the server disappears again, every woman in my family is staring at me expectantly.

“Okay, okay! Fine. Just don’t be to loud, alright? People can’t hear us.”

I look at each of my sisters until the nod in understanding.

“Okay, well, first things first. There’s something I need to tell you girls. I need you to keep this a secret, though, alright? It’s very important.”

Mum gasps in shock, obviously realizing what I am about to tell them. The girls all nod in confusion and wait for me to continue. They’re cooperating much more than I expected. I anticipated more disorder and over-excitement.

“Okay, you all know Harry, right?”

Lottie rolls her eyes and scoffs.

“Of course we do. He’s your best friend, dummy.”

“Well, that’s the thing, Lottie. He’s more than that.”

Lottie and Fizzy seem to understand right away, even though they seem utterly shocked. Daisy and Phoebe stare at me innocently, not getting what I mean.

“Daisy, Phoebe. You know how mum and Dan are together? Like they’re in love?”

The girls nod and smile at mum.

“Well, that’s how me and Harry are. We’re in love. He’s my boyfriend.”

They both smile wider, with no more shock than if Harry were a girl.

“What about Eleanor, though? Does she know?”

Fizzy seems alarmed and a chuckle.

“Of course. She’s not really my girlfriend. She pretends to be, but we’re only friends.”

“Why does she pretend to be your girlfriend, Louis?”

Daisy questions and I turn to mum. I don’t know how to explain it best.

“I’ll tell you about it later, love.”

I silently thank mum and wait for all of the girls to let this news sink in.

“There’s more to it. Something  I need to tell all of you. Mum, too.”

Mum looks nervous again and I rest my hand on her shoulder comfortingly. She nods for me to continue.

“I’m going to ask Harry to be my husband.”

They all gasp in shock. Mum’s eyes fill with tears, but she has a huge grin plastered on her face. She pulls me into a hug and I lay my head on her shoulder.

“My baby boy is getting married.”

She practically whispers and I can feel a few tears drop onto my cheek from hers. I sniff and fight the crying because I don’t want to make this all overly sentimental. If I cry, it’ll only make mum cry more. I pull away and chuckle to lighten the mood.

“That’s only if he says yes.”

Mum playfully smacks my arm.

“You know he will, love.”

“I think everyone overestimates his love for me.”

I mumble that under my breath, but I’m sure mum heard because she scoffs in disagreement. 

The girls are all still looking at me, a bit confused, a bit indifferent, and Lottie positively angry.

“What do you girls think?”

“Why didn’t you tell me? I guess I understand if you were worried about the twins not keeping it a secret or maybe even Fizzy, but I think I’m more than old enough to know that my brother is gay and dating his best mate. I freaking stand up for Eleanor all the damn time and I’ve been looking like an idiot the whole damn time.”

Lottie crosses her arms over her chest and falls back in her chair.

“No, Lott. I’m sorry, I really am. It wasn’t all my fault, but I wish I had told you sooner. I didn’t want the other girls to feel like I favored you or something. Plus, I was kind of afraid of how you would react. I see how you react to people on Twitter and it scared you were completely against the idea.”

“No, Lou. I was just trying to stand up for who I thought you were. I love you and Harry, so of course I accept you for who you are. I just wish you would have told me...”

“Sorry, sis. Can we just be happy now? Because I’m really freaking happy.”

Lottie can’t help but to smile at my ridiculously giddy expression and the rest of the girls follow suit, grinning happily at me.

“Can I wear a pink dress, Louis?”

I giggle at Phoebe as she tugs at my shirt excitedly.

“How about we let Harry say yes first.”

She slumps down in her chair and pouts dramatically.

“I promise to make sure you like your dress. How’s that?”

She nods, less enthusiastic than before.

“So, the main reason I made such a spectacle of telling you all today is that I want you to be there when I ask him. I’m taking him on a trip today and when we come back on Sunday, all of our family and friends will be at our flat for a party to surprise him. Mum, please tell me you can make it.”

My mum leans over and drapes an arm over my shoulders, kissing my cheek loudly.

“Of course, baby. We’ll all be there.”

I smile and glance over all of my sister’s faces to find them all smiling and I couldn’t be happier now if I tried.

“Thank you all for being supportive. Love you girls.”

They all nod and return the sentiment with small mumbles of ‘love you too, Lou’ and ‘yeah, happy for you, Lou’ before the waitress brings our food over.

“Bon appétit!”

 

____________

 

**HARRY’S P.O.V.**

 

I’ve showered and sat around the living room for two hours now. I slept until about eleven, but Louis was already gone. Now, I’m just waiting impatiently for him to come back so that this surprise doesn’t have to be a surprise anymore. I pick up my phone and hope to god I can get something out of one of the boys. Niall’s my best bet.

“Hello?”

“Niall! How are ya, mate?”

“Fine Harry. How are you?”

He seems on to me already with his stiff, warning tone.

“Great! I’m really excited for me and Lou’s trip.”

There’s a bit of silence and I know he’s wondering how much I know.

“He told you about it? I thought it was gonna be a surprise!”

I shrug my shoulders even though he can’t see.

“Nope, guess he couldn’t keep it. I’m waiting for him to get back and then we’re driving to the airport.”

“Nice try, Harry. You two aren’t going to the airport.”

“So, we’re staying nearby then?”

“I didn’t say that. Harry, just stop asking questions and enjoy the damn surprise.”

I sigh loudly and give up.

“Fine. See you when we get back, Ni.”

“Bye Harry. I’m quite offended that you thought I’d be the one to give in.”

I chuckle before replying.

“I... oh, come on now. You are the worst at keeping secrets and you know it. Maybe next to Lou.”

“Yeah yeah. See ya, you tosser.”

I continue to laugh as I hang up, waiting even more impatiently for Louis to get home. So, we aren’t flying anywhere. I assume we’re going to some town nearby then because I doubt Louis is driving very far. I also doubt that we’re taking a train because we’d most likely be spotted by a lot of people.

Dammit, Lou. Where are we going?

As if on cue, I hear a key turning in the lock before the knob jiggles and the door opens.

“Hey babe. I hope you haven’t tried looking through or luggage or anything.”

He drops his keys on the coffee table and walks over to where I’m sitting on the couch. He plops down next to me, propping his feet up on the table.

“Really, Lou? You couldn’t take your shoes off?”

He rolls his eyes and wraps his arm around my waist, pinching my side lightly.

“Can you just stop being so nit-picky.”

I roll my eyes teasingly and lean over to kiss his cheek.

“Can we go now? I’m really getting impatient.”

Louis chuckles and gently grabs my face with his hand, forcing me to face him.

“Well, you aren’t going to know where we’re going for a bit anyway. Yes, we can go, though. We have a bit of a drive to start with.”

He leans forward and kisses me slowly, interlocking our lips perfectly.

“Now you’ve messed up every idea I had in my head as to where we’re going.”

I whisper against his lips and he laughs again.

“Come on, love. Let’s get our stuff in the car.”


	46. Chapter 46

**LOUIS’ P.O.V.**

 

“Louis, we’ve been driving west for hours! I give up. Where are we going?”

I roll my eyes because Harry has been trying to guess where we are going for the past three hours. We’re only about an hour out of Pembroke and then we take a ferry from there to Rosslare, Ireland. After that, we’re only a short cab ride away from the cabin we’ll call home for the weekend. I like to think of it as a pre-engagement honeymoon. Assuming that he says yes, that is. I would feel strange to be so presumptuous. No, if anything, I’m more afraid he’ll say no. What if he thinks the timing isn’t right? I hope he understands that me proposing doesn’t mean that we must rush wedding plans. I just want to give him something to look forward to; to remind him of why we deal with so much shit: because our love is real. So real, in fact, that I’m willing to make a fool of myself  in front of every last one of our friends and family members.

“Louuuu, please tell me!”

I reach over and squeeze his thigh so that he flinches in surprise.

“I’m not telling, babe. Just take a nap or something. We’ll be there before you know it.”

He huffs and crosses his arms over his chest. He’s reminding me of myself as a little boy whenever my mum would take us on road trips. ‘Are we there yet? Are we there yet?’ That’s what Harry sounds like. It’s sort of adorable, though, so I could never actually chastise him for it. He curls his knees up to his chest and obviously finds that uncomfortable since his legs go on for miles. He turns his body toward me and stretches his legs back out. I face the road, keeping my focus as the sun starts to set. I can feel Harry’s eyes on me, though, and I reach my hand over, tracing little circles on his arm as he continues to stare at me. When I glance over at him, he closes his eyes tightly and moves his arm so that he can clutch my hand in his. He pulls my hand close to his chest and cuddles against it like a little puppy. More like an awkward, over-sized puppy; but, you get the picture. I can feel his body slowly start to relax as he begins to fall asleep.

“Love you a lot, Lou.”

He slurs his words together in a soft, content sigh as he drifts off.

“Love you more, Haz.”

Harry sleeps restlessly in the car and after about twenty minutes of him laying on my arm, it goes entirely numb, but I can’t bring myself to move it. We’re only about a half an hour from our destination and even though I don’t have any actually feeling in my hand, it feels nice to have him so close to me. I can feel the steady beating of his heart through his thin, grey t-shirt and it’s almost a comfort to know that it belongs to me. Well, obviously not his physical heart, but; fuck, I’m getting sentimental and sappy again.

The rest of the drive goes by quickly since it’s only the final stretch of a four hour drive. The sun has set completely and the moon shines brightly above us. I can actually sees the stars over here and it’s stunning. I pull the car up to the short line of people signing in. I put the car in park and stare at Harry for a few moments. His soft skin is slightly flushed along his cheeks and his mouth is parted, gentle breaths coming and going. I grin to myself at his perfect, relaxed features before checking the time. We only have twenty minutes to get to the ferry and these old folks are taking forever to show their tickets and papers. I suppose they won’t leave with a line of cars like this.

Finally, I pull up to the security gate and roll down the window, hoping Harry doesn’t wake up. It’s sort of exciting to think that he’ll wake up and we’ll be on a boat. An older gentleman approaches my open window and begins a loud greeting, until I widen my eyes in motion toward my snoring boyfriend.

“Oh, so very sorry. Tickets and passports please?”

He practically whispers this time and I chuckle to myself. With my right arm, the one Harry isn’t sprawled across, I reach into the back seat, pulling our passports and tickets out of the front pocket. I made sure to be as organized as possible without Harry’s help. He’ll be proud.

“Here you go.”

I smile kindly and the man takes the papers from my hand, skimming over both. He pauses as he looks at Harry’s passport.

“Harry Styles? Why does that name ring a bell?”

I hum in faux wonder.

“No idea. Common name, I suppose.”

It isn’t a common name. I guess Harry is, at least. I don’t feel tense or nervous, though, like I usually do when Harry or I are recognized in public. Maybe I’ve just stopped caring so much since Harry is the only thing that matters to me right now. Well, that may be a little drastic. He’s just very important, especially lately.

The man nods, still mulling it all over in his head, but he smiles kindly through his confusion.

“Have a good trip, Mr. Tomlinson.”

“Thank you, sir. Stay warm out here.”

It really is cold outside, but it always is on this coast.

“Thanks so much.”

I drive slowly along the road, following the signs that direct me toward the ferry. My numb arm starts to tingle and I glance over to see Harry shifting around uneasily. We finally drive over a small bump that begins the short ramp leading to the boat. I pull forward and park as directed by an attendant before unbuckling my seatbelt and wiggling my trapped arm a bit.

“Harry, babe. We’re here. Time to wakey.”

I mentally slap myself for the baby talk. I hate how hopelessly pathetic he makes me.

“Hmm? Where ar’we, Lou?”

He opens his eyes ever so slightly, probably first noticing the dim lights of the parking garage.

“We’re running off to the colonies, never to return.”

Harry’s eyes widen in shock, glassy and red-rimmed from recently waking up. I can’t help but to laugh hysterically at his momentary lapse in judgement at believing my ludicrous words.

“Fuck you, babe. Where are we really?”

I try to stop my laughter, but end up speaking through it.

“We’re on a ferry. We’re going to Ireland for the weekend.”

Harry’s lips curl slowly into a smile that I wish I could stop time to stare at forever.

“Where in Ireland? Are we staying at a hotel? Or like a cute B&B? Ohh! Or maybe we’re camping-“

“Hush, love.”

I stop his anxious words by covering his mouth with my hand.

“One thing at a time. We have a few hours on this here boat and I have a few things planned. You don’t want to mess up my plans, do you?”

Harry’s jaw goes slack, his eyes darkening and filling with lust. I wink and playfully pinch his side.

“Didn’t think so.”

I step out of the car, opening the back door to pull out the duffel bag with the... items I would like to use. Harry is quite slow getting out of the car, stretching out as soon as he stands up, but he’s much more responsive at my mention of sexual plans. Actually, I didn’t even mention the sexual part, he just assumed... Correctly, I might add.

“C’mon, Lou,” he walks over to my side of the car and tries to take the duffel from me, but I don’t allow it. He stands behind me and slides his hands down my sides, slowly making his way down to the edge of my trousers. He leans down and flicks his tongue over my earlobe briefly, “better hurry up and get me somewhere private.”

His whisper sends chills through my body and I gulp loudly.

“Yeah, let’s, um, go check in.”

I hate how easily he can get me so riled up when I’m trying to make him antsy and desperate. Scratch that; I love it.

 

_________

 

After we’ve checked in, I lead the way to our suite. I have to gain the upper hand again because I have very specific plans for this evening and they involve me being domineering, which isn’t possible when Harry continues to make me weak and needy by constantly skimming his bum over my crotch in the elevator. Or maybe by distracting me from finding the room number by stuffing his hand in my back pocket, kneading at my bum.

I can feel myself blushing and I slap his hand, much harder than expected, but I think it got the point across.

“Stop it, Harry. You are far from in charge tonight.”

He bites his bottom lip and I notice that the numbers are going down and that we are, in fact, only a few doors away from ours. I wink cockily and walk faster to the door, leaving Harry to follow behind. He doesn’t have to make as much of an effort, though, with his lengthy legs.

I come face to face with our door and pull the key out of my pocket, sliding the card in easily and waiting for the light to turn green on the doorknob before pushing it open. 

I hold the door open, but Harry stands in the hallway, looking down at his phone, unaware of anything else.

“No phones, love.”

I reach over and snatch his phone from his hands, locking it and slipping it into the duffel. Harry stands with his hands in front of him, newly empty.

“I was texting Gemma!”

I roll my eyes and wave him in.

“She can wait.”

Harry scoffs and lets it go easily, walking into the spacious room. Well, it’s spacious for a boat.

“So, what exactly are we doing?”

He plops onto the king-sized bed and I tut disapprovingly at him.

“Nuh uh, baby. Get up.”

Harry raises an eyebrow suggestively and I set the bag down on the floor, opening it up enough to pull out the tight, black, lacy shorts I bought for him. He tries to peak into the bed, but I zip it shut immediately.

“Go into the bathroom and put these on. Nothing else, okay? Can you do that for me?”

Harry stares at the skimpy knickers and nods slowly.

“Yeah, Lou. Anything for you.”

He moves forward in an attempt to kiss me, but I back away, holding the small laced material out in front of me.

“Come back when you’re done.”

He fights a grin and takes the clothing out of my hand.

“Yes, sir.”

God, he’s already loving this and I haven’t even touched him yet. The bathroom door shuts behind him and I hurry to get everything else ready. I kick my shoes and socks off, keeping all my clothes on. Then, I take out three items: a bottle of lubricant, a purple vibrating butt plug, and a camera.

I lay the lube and plug on the nightstand next to the bed, but hold the camera in my hand, turning it on. Harry and I spent a bit of money on this camera when we realized how much we loved taking pictures of each other. Specifically, while having sex. It actually stays in the drawer next to our bed; we have iPhones to take pictures of other things. These are the pictures we want to have the best quality. Sure, that’ll probably change when we have kids one day, but we’ll worry about that then. For now, this camera has a memory card full of incriminating photos of Harry and I in unseemly positions. This camera could be considered my most prized possession; if you don’t count Harry himself. He’s more than a possession, though - So much more.

“Lou? Can I come out now?”

Of course he’s asking permission, even though I told him to come out when he’s done.

“Yeah, babe. I’m ready for you.”

The door creaks open slowly and I hold the camera up to my face, shutting one eye so that I can look through the tiny viewfinder. As soon as Harry steps out, his arms draping down at his sides, I snap a few shots. 

“What the-“

I smirk and pull the camera away from my face, finally getting a good look at my boyfriend.

“Wow...”

I can’t think of anything else to say. He looks absolutely stunning. A million times better than I even dreamed he would. His tattoos stand out against his torso and arms, with only the simple black lingerie to contrast. The fabric hugs his slim hips perfectly, staying tight around his pale thighs. His bulge is protruding more than in any of the advertisement pictures. He looks like he’s already semi-hard and I can feel my mouth watering at the sight.

“How do I look?”

He walks toward me, shyly crossing one arm over his chest and grabbing his bicep. I force myself to take more pictures, even though I really would like to simply stare. I’ll be glad I took them later, though.

“You look so fucking good, Harry. I can’t even- just- wow.”

He finally makes his way across the room, after I had to watch him strut at a painstakingly slow pace, his lanky arms swaying like a high-fashion model. He stands in front of me, legs close together, in the stance he typically stands in. He tucks a stray hair behind my ear and I watch his eyes closely as he speaks.

“Why the camera? We haven’t used it in forever... Not that I’m complaining.”

I grin and lean forward, kissing his chest briefly.

“Maybe I was a little jealous to think of some photographer in Milan snapping shots of you in your pants all day.”

Harry smirks and rests his hands on my clothed hips, gently pressing his erection against my stomach.

“So you decided to take it a step further? Take pictures of me in girls’ underwear?”

I stomp my foot in sarcastic debate.

“I will have you know that they are technically men’s lingerie.”

Harry smiles in defeat and I can feel his hot breath as he inches his lips closer to mine.

“I would have worn whatever you gave me.”

“I’ll remember that for future reference.”

Harry chuckles and closes the distance between our mouths, kissing me slowly and with intense passion. He breaks away momentarily, working at the button on my jeans.

“Besides, I assume you’ll get some angles that those photographers could only dream of getting; am I right?”

I roll my eyes as he tugs my trousers and pants down in one drag.

“Don’t be so full of yourself, love-“ he pecks my lips softly and I grin against him, “but, yes. I will get some very flattering angles that are out of everyone else’s realm of possibility.”

I hook a finger under the thin lace along Harry’s hipbones and pull him back slowly toward the bed. I kiss his collarbone along the way, biting on it as soon as I feel my calves hit the bed. I hold the camera tightly in one hand as Harry’s slender fingers trail along my shirt, bunching it up at the bottom and pulling it over my head. I set the camera down in the middle of the mattress and remove my arms from the sleeves before falling back onto the blankets.

As Harry plants his palms on the bed, lifting his knees up to crawl toward me, I bring the camera up so that the lens can capture his flawless body, but I don’t try to look through the viewer. I’m much too captivated to bother with capturing high quality pictures. 

The moment his body is pressed against mine, I nearly forget about the camera entirely. I’m only reminded when he straddles my hips, dragging his clothed member against mine in a painfully slow, seductive rhythm. He just looks so fucking hot, the dark ink dominating his milky skin; I have to take pictures.  He runs his hands up his chest, putting on a show for me. It takes everything within me to not screw my eyes shut in pleasure. His fingers trail through his hair, tugging on the curly strands impatiently and rocking his pelvis faster. He looks like a fucking porn star, his lips parted to make way for breathy moans.

“Jesus, Harry,” I grip his hips and push him to the right, immediately rolling on top of him, “don’t forget who’s in charge here, baby.”

He groans at my words and I brace his lips with mine, pushing him into the mattress farther. I balance on my arm and continue to kiss him, snapping pictures from an awkward angle. Harry seems to notice and grabs the camera, taking it out of my hand. I rest my palm back on the sheets and he continues to take pictures, most of which I can’t tell the focus; they’re probably of my ass. I grind against the lace of his lingerie roughly and glide my tongue along his bottom lip slowly.

“Mmm-Lou. Please, no more teasing.”

I chuckle and halt my hips. 

“Okay, baby. Scoot up for me, yeah?”

He nods obediently and I remove my body from his. He scoots up to the pillows and lays back, skimming his palm over his now-solid bulge. I grin and roll over toward the nightstand, collecting both the plug and the lubricant. I crawl down to Harry’s legs and place the items to the left of his feet. I sit on my knees in front of him, pulling his knees apart from each other and propping his legs up so that his feet are flat on the covers.

“Hand me a pillow?”

He nods again and pull an extra one from beside his head. I take it from him and lightly pat his bum for him to raise his hips. He follows my silent instruction and I place the pillow in the space under him. He lowers back down and wiggles his hips to get comfortable. I lean forward and place a gentle, open-mouthed kiss against the area between his balls and his hole. Harry shivers and releases a shaky breath.

“Lou-“

“Shhh. I know, babe.”

I grab the camera from where he left it in the middle of the bed and take a shot of the beautiful view that only I am allowed to enjoy. I set the camera down again and slot my fingers under the elastic band of his _extremely_ short shorts. I pull them down quickly, unable to hold back any longer. It doesn’t help that I’ve been thinking of this the entire four-hour drive. Harry hisses as the cold air hits his manhood. His reaction is opposite of mine because I’m nothing but hot right now. I leave the laced shorts on the edge of the bed and lean forward to lick a thick stripe up the underside of his cock. Harry’s legs shake uncontrollably and I smile as my eyes reach his face. He looks completely wrecked already. This deserves yet another picture.

I open him up slowly, beginning with my tongue and adding three fingers along with it. I feel beyond impatient by the time I slick my own throbbing cock with lube and slowly guide myself into him. I take picture after picture, expecting most to be blurry in my euphoric state. My favorite ones, though, are of Harry’s face while I slowly jab against his prostate over and over until there are tears dotting the corners of his eyes. I capture the muscles in his chest and arms contracting, his face contorting in immense ecstasy as he comes untouched all over his torso, a bit splattering on his chin. His walls pulsate around me and I quickly spiral into a pleasure I cannot possibly return from. I’m sputtering curses and coming hard as he tries to steady his breath. As I ride out my orgasm, I collapse on his sticky chest, our bodies sliding together in a mixture of sweat and come. I finish and lay my head on his shoulder, remaining in that spot for what seems like an eternity: an eternity that could never be long enough. I lift up slightly, licking the bit of spunk off of his chin before kissing him sloppily.

“I love you, Harry. I can never explain how much I love you.”

Harry has tears in his eyes, but these aren’t tears of pleasure; they’re tears of inexplicable happiness.

“You don’t have to explain it to me, Louis. I love you the same.”

I smile and kiss him again, slowly pulling out. I quickly slick up the plug before I forget and hold the camera in my other hand. I snap a few pictures of Harry in his completely ruined state before capturing his fluttering hole with bits of my come dripping out. I replace the emptiness inside him with the plug and he hisses from the sensitivity. I put the camera down and lay next to him, collecting his larger body in my slim arms.

“Can’t wait to see those shots. You look gorgeous.”

I kiss his forehead and rest my hand on his chest, which is still sticky.

“I’m gonna get a towel to clean us up and then we can take a nap. How’s that sound?”

Harry’s eyes are already flickering shut, but he smiles and nods faintly. I kiss his chest briefly before retrieving a damp washcloth from the bathroom, simply replaying the past hour in my mind.

This weekend is going to be flawless.

The rest of my life with _him_ is going to be flawless.

 

 


	47. Chapter 47

**NIALL’S P.O.V.**

 

“Alright, so tomorrow we get started setting up, right? Like what exactly are we meant to do?”

Liam hums a chuckle as he takes another sip of his beer.

“This is why he didn’t give you the details. I love you, but you’re a shit planner, Nialler.”

“Oi, come off it! I’m asking now, aren’t I?”

Liam nods a frank apology and glances over at Zayn and Perrie. She’s seated on his lap, arms crossed and resting on the table in their kitchen.

“Don’t worry about it, boys. El and I have it all planned out; we just need your muscles for the brunt work.”

Eleanor rolls her eyes and stirs her drink with the tiny cocktail straw sunk in her vodka.

“They’re worthless and you know it. But, yes. We should plan on getting there at like seven, alright?”

“Fucking ‘ell! Seven? In the mornin’?”

Zayn looks positively destroyed at the thought of waking up that early, causing Liam and I to laugh hysterically at his facial expression.

“Yes, seven, babe. I’ll make sure you’re up, don’t worry.”

“You better wake me up with a blowie or I ain’t gettin’ out of bed.”

Perrie scoffs in exaggerated terror at her fiancé’s choice of words.

“No promises love, but you will be getting out of bed at six.”

“Six?! I thought El said seven!”

We laugh again at the spectacle he’s making over what time his alarm will go off.

“We’re gonna _be there_ at seven, mate.”

Liam reminds him kindly but Zayn is still pouting as if it’s the end of the world.

“ _Anyway,_ to answer your question, Niall, we need to set _everything_ up. There will be tables, chairs, and other furniture delivered at eight, so before that we can just make sure everything else is in place. We’ll have to ensure that there is room for all the stuff they’re delivering. I don’t know exactly how everything is set up at the house. We’ll see when we get there.”

“So, you haven’t been there either, El?”

She shakes her head before Liam’s even done asking.

“I feel hella special then.”

Liam and I practically shoot daggers at Zayn.

“He took you?”

Zayn chuckles and Perrie slaps his arm.

“You weren’t supposed to tell them. Besides, you know he only took you because he knew you could keep it a secret from Harry.”

I laugh as his own fiancé shoots him down, but it serves him right for being a right ass.

“Whatevs. It’s awesome, though. There should be plenty of room.”

 

__________

 

**HARRY’S P.O.V.**

 

I woke up to an intercom telling us that we had arrived in our port and the time we spent gathering our things and making it back to the car seemed like a blur. I’m finally waking up by the time we are driving on an Irish back road.

“So this is Rosslare?”

Louis nods his head, obviously still a bit sleepy from our nap.

“I can drive, babe. You drove the whole way in the UK and you look tired.”

“Nah, it’s alright Hazza. This is my surprise for you. You aren’t supposed to work for it.”

I stroke his thigh with my hand, squeezing gently.

“Nonsense, boo. Pull over and let me drive. It’s not far anyway, right?”

Louis shakes his head.

“No, it’s only about a half hour,” he yawns loudly, “Alright, fine. You can drive.”

I grin and lean over to press a soft kiss to his cheek as he pulls off of the road. I unbuckle my seatbelt and walk to the front of the car, meeting Louis in the middle. 

“Thank you, by the way.”

He wraps his arms around my waist, hugging me gently, the bright headlights shining directly on us.

“For what?”

“This trip. You obviously spent a lot of time planning it out. It means a lot.”

He leans up on his toes to kiss my lips.

“You deserve every bit of it.”

I close the small space between our hips and cup his cheeks with my hands.

“Love you.”

I kiss him before he can respond, moving my lips fluidly against his as I roll my hips into him. Sure, this is a terrible place to do this, but I can’t help it since it’s the first time in ages that we have been somewhere else without the public eye watching our every move.

“Harry, c’mon. We can do this at the cabin. Let’s just get there, take a shower, or bath, and then we will do whatever your precious little heart desires.”

I peck his forehead and nod in agreement. I’ll definitely take him up on that. I walk over to the driver’s side and slide in, buckling my seatbelt and checking that Louis does the same.

“Are you checking if I’m buckled, _Mum_?”

“Shut it, Lou. Yes, I am. Can’t have anything happening to my baby Lou.”

He rolls his eyes in adoration, licking his lips before leaning over and kissing my neck. He pulls away and leans on the door, staring out the window and reaching over for my hand. There is a lingering silence for a while as I cup his hand in mine.

“So, we’re going to a cabin?”

“Fucking hell. I am the absolute worst.”

I chuckle and intertwine our fingers, bring his hand up to my mouth, kissing it lightly.

“ _Well_ , I can’t wait.”

 

_______

 

Louis doesn’t fall asleep during the car ride and keeps up with the GPS the entire way. After about twenty minutes, we are driving down empty winding roads to what seems like an entirely rural area.

“Are you going to save me from monsters and killers out here, boo?”

He chuckles and continues to rub his thumb over my knuckles.

“Of course I will,” he looks at his phone and then back at the road, “put on your brights, will ya?”

I nod and turn on the fog lights as I continue down the dark, vacant road.

“Alright, turn left up there. That should be the drive.”

I put on my blinker for no one in particular and turn left onto a small dirt path.

“I sure hope you’re right because I don’t know how I’d back up if we needed to turn around.”

I chuckle nervously and continue slowly down the path. After a few hundred feet, there is a sharp curve to the right and as soon as we turn, there is a large clearing with a beautiful cottage surrounded by a picket fence and gorgeous flowers.

I can’t help but to gasp. It’s so perfect. The seclusion only makes it better because it feels like you’re appreciating something secret; something that other people don’t get to see. I can’t wait to see it in the daylight.

“Lou, it’s absolutely stunning.”

He smiles to himself, obviously proud and I can’t say that I’m not too. This is a lot for Louis to have planned and it’s a bit unlike him.

“I’m glad you like it, love. Let’s get inside.”

We gather our things from the trunk and approach the front door. Louis types in a code to the lock and a key falls out of the box attached to the door. I bend over to collect the key while Louis removes the box and waits for me to unlock the door.

The inside can best be described as warm and cozy: just like any cabin should be. The combination of dark and light colors create an unequivocal harmony that could lift any mood. I set down the bags I was balancing and Louis leaves the keys on the small table near the door. I flick the light switch on and take in the gorgeous, tiny living room. The soft rug in front of the fireplace looks inviting, a cushioned love-seat a few feet back.

I shrug off my coat and hang it on the free-standing rack to the right of the door, where Louis has already left his. We smile at each other for a good thirty seconds before our bodies pull together like magnets. I lean down and nibble gently at his earlobe.

“Can we make love in front of the fire?”

He giggles against my neck and trails his hands over my ribcage.

“Some romantic sap you are-”

I pull back and do my best to give a convincing pout.

“Heeeeey.”

He smirks and kisses my jaw.

“You didn’t let me finish. I was gonna say, ‘good thing I am too because I can never say no to you’, but just for being a whiny twat, I almost want to say no.”

He sticks his tongue out to tease me and I lean down quickly to capture it between my teeth. I nibble on his tongue before closing the gap between our lips. I lick along his bottom lip and he moans against my warm mouth.

“Let’s just go take a shower. I’m still nasty from when you fucked me on the boat.”

I stroll down the hall that I assume leads to the bedroom and Louis follows behind with the small bag we had on the boat.

“Ferry.”

“What?”

“It’s not a boat; it’s a ferry. There’s a difference.”

I chuckle and open the first door on the right, turning on the lights immediately. It’s a small bedroom, but I think it mainly seems that way because the bed takes up the majority of the space; which is perfect, because what else do you need the bedroom for? I walk through a short archway into a pristine white bathroom with a tub larger than the one we have at home. It’s practically a jacuzzi and it’s the perfect compliment to the cold weather. 

“You’re impossible, Lou. You never stop teasing me. How about you use that pretty mouth of yours for something more suitable, huh?”

I pull my shirt off and walk over to the tub, turning the nobs so that hot water begins to fill the white porcelain. 

“Hmm. Whatever could you mean?”

He taps his chin sarcastically and I stalk over to him, gripping the belt loops on his trousers. I yank his hips close to mine and cover his mouth with my lips filthily. I try so hard to keep up my dominant demeanor, but it’s just impossible to avoid smiling into a kiss with Louis. He notices the way I give and his arms snake around my waist, nails digging into my back as he slides them down to my jeans. He reaches around and unbuttons my pants, leaving them loosely on my hips as he reaches around again and slides his hands under the waistband. His hands grasp my bare bum as he kneads his fingers into my skin.

“Never put your briefs back on. Naughty boy.”

He grins and leaves a quick kiss on my chest before biting my collarbone harshly.

“Fuck-“

Then he pulls away, strutting toward the bathtub as if he hadn’t just aroused me beyond return. He pulls out a bottle of lube and sets it by the tub before leaning over and feeling the water.

“Bath’s ready.”

His tone is cheery and without strain. He slips his shirt off and I stare in awe as if he isn’t my boyfriend of four years. The real kicker is when he slides out of his trousers and pants in one motion, bending over for me to soak in every last inch of him. My breath hitches as I intently watch the perfect rise of his backside, because- fuck- he has an incredible arse.

“Are you gonna stare all day or are we taking a bath?”

I clear my throat and push my jeans off, kicking them aside along with my shoes. Louis climbs in first and I dip my toes in to check the temperature before sliding into the hot water.

“So, what are we doing this weekend?”

My question is sarcastic and Louis knows that.

“This. Being together. Unless you’re already tired of me.”

I scoff and scoop Louis into my arms, pulling him to me so that he’s seated on my lap, straddling my thighs.

“A little, but I think I can handle one more weekend.”

A flash of terror runs through Louis’ eyes, as if he doesn’t catch on to my satirical tone. I brush his long fringe aside and kiss his lips.

“I could never get tired of you. I want to be doing this when were ninety years old. Well, I suppose you’d be ninety and I’d still _only_ be in my eighties.”

Louis laughs sardonically.

“Stop trying to make me feel old, babe.”

He kisses me and I lightly press my fingers against his bum, spreading him ever so slightly. He mewls against my lips.

“Do you mean it?”

My eyes are shut in desirous focus.

“Mean what?”

“That you want to be with me until we’re old.”

I open my eyes fully and stare at him in disbelief.

“Are you kidding, Lou? I want to be with you forever.”

I press my fingers against him harder and he moans again, his hands crawling up my arms and hooking around my neck.

“Forever is a long time.”

His tone is serious and it almost comes out as a warning.

“More like not long enough.”

He’s glowing; smiling more than I ever thought possible and I begin to wonder if he thought I had any other intentions: than to stay with him forever.

I wouldn’t survive long.

I reach over with one hand as he kisses me, leaving the other against his arse, my fingertips tickling his hole. I pull that hand away as well so that I can pour a generous amount of lube on my fingers. I ball my hand in a fist to maintain as much lube in my hand as it is submersed in the water. I lay my hand flat against Louis’ entrance and lather with lubricant before pressing one fingertip barely past his rim.

“Shit- Harry, I love you.”

I grin and breathe heavily as he moves his lips to my neck, already rocking his hips down onto my finger. His hardening cock skims across mine and I grown harder with every movement. He sucks my skin between his teeth, running his tongue along the sensitive bruise forming on my neck. I open him impatiently, but gently as always. By the time I have three fingers comfortably inside of him, he’s practically screaming for me to hurry.

“Now, Hazz. Please-“

I nod breathlessly and uncap the lube again, pouring more in my hand. I lift us both above the water and spread the liquid along my length. Louis moves up so that he is squatting over me in the tub, spreading his ass apart. He holds my gaze as he slowly guides himself onto my cock as I hold it firmly below him. As he slowly sinks down, both of our mouths drop from the initial surges of pleasure. 

He’s practically fully seated by the time my legs give out and I lower back down in the tub. Louis rests on his knees and takes me in the rest of the way, clutching my shoulders for support. I cry out helplessly as he lifts up and immediately slams back down on my lap.

“Oh my god! Louis!”

My voice sounds wrecked and both of us are glimmering from the heat and moisture around us. My hair is stuck to my forehead and Louis leans forward to kiss me, but it ends up with our mouths just hovering next to each other as he bounces in a quick rhythm. I can’t formulate actual words, but I also don’t stop making noise. I can’t.

“Harry, oh fuck, please- touch me.”

I nod and waste no time in fisting his erection in matching succession with his hips.

“Yes, yes, yes, yes!”

I buck my hips up and a strangled cry emits his lips as I hit his prostate again and again. I feel absolutely worn out, but the sounds coming from Louis and the sight of his glistening body on top of me could keep me going for hours. Except that I’m so fucking close to coming.

“Lou-“

“I know- me too!”

He can always tell by the way my motions change and my breathing shifts. His chest rises and falls frantically and he leans over again, resting his slick forehead against mine.

I move my hand quickly, but slow my upward thrusts, leaving Louis to roll his hips against mine with me deep inside of him, sending me over the edge. I spill into him and choke back tears of overwhelming passion. Louis cries out a loud ‘ _I love you, ‘arry_ ’ as he comes hard across my chest, a bit landing on my chin and the back of the tub.

After moments of laying on top of me, completely blissed out, Louis begins to wash us both off. I’m hardly coherent and feel myself slowly fading away as he washes my hair. After we’re both clean, Louis gathers towels from the closet and wraps one around his hips before holding one out for me. I stand up and pull the plug so that the bath water can drain, stepping onto the cold time to be wrapped in a white cloth towel. Louis retrieves our toothbrushes and we reluctantly brush our teeth before leaving the bathroom.

We dry off lazily and collapse onto the fluffy, white bed. When we crawl under the blankets, Louis pulls me close to him so that we are only occupying the middle of the bed. He strokes my damp hair and I rest my palm and head against his warm chest, listening to his steady heartbeat.

My eyes are shut and my breathing has steadied when I am nearly asleep, dreams already beginning to fog my mind when I hear Louis’ last words of the night; words that perhaps I’m not meant to hear.

“I can’t wait to spend forever with you.”

 

 


	48. Chapter 48

LOUIS’ P.O.V. “Lou, baby. Wake up.” Harry’s soft voice pulls me out of my deep sleep. It’s not his groggy, raspy voice, though, which leads me to assume that he’s been up for a while. I roll over in the direction that I hear him and before I can open my eyes, he leans down to peck my lips, earning an automatic smile from me. “Mornin’ Haz. Why ar’you up so early?” Harry chuckles and kisses my forehead. “Love, it’s noon.” I bury my face into his clothed chest and groan, upset for missing so much time out of our romantic weekend. “M’sorry, you should have woken me up sooner.” Harry squeezes me tightly before walking over to our bags. He retrieves a pair of black briefs for me and joins me under the sheets. “Well, it was freezing in the living room when I woke up, so I started a fire and then went to this town a few minutes down the road and got some breakfast from a bakery. Are you hungry?” “Haaaarry,” I whine as I pull on my pants, “this was supposed to be a weekend of me doing things for you; not the other way around.” Harry scoffs and starts to pull me closer to the edge of the bed. “What kind of boyfriend would I be if I let you wait on me hand and foot?” I lay limp, thinking it would make it difficult for Harry to pull me out of bed. He’s been working out, though, and I seem to keep forgetting that. “The kind of boyfriend that I usually am!” Harry swoops me up in his arms easily, my legs draping over his strong forearm. “I love taking care of my baby.” I smile and coo into his neck as he walks us to the kitchen. It’s warm and cozy, the fire crackling behind me. He sits down in a big chair where some food is laid out on top of paper bags at the dining table. I begin to stand up and move to another chair, but Harry holds me on his lap, spreading his legs enough for me to comfortably sit between them. “They had some of those soufflés that you liked in France so I got you that, as well as a few choices of muffins.” These are the types of things I need to remind myself of whenever I begin to doubt Harry’s feelings for me. He remembers the tiniest things about me; like the soufflé I enjoyed two years ago in some tiny cafè in Paris and haven’t had since. “Thank you; it all looks great.” “Anything for you, boo.” My smile reaches my eyes without any effort. Harry stretches his large arms around me and starts to break away pieces of a muffin. He brings the first bite to my mouth and I hum as I chew the moist pastry. “So good! Here, try some.” I take another piece of the same muffin and wait for Harry to part his lips enough for take a bite. He shuts his eyes as he waits for the muffin, I set it down and sit up enough to kiss him, my tongue slipping between his gaping lips. He chuckles and then quickly begins to kiss back, his hands trailing down my bare sides and resting on my hips with his thumbs tucked under the elastic band of my boxers. I run my fingers lightly through his hair, pushing his beanie onto the floor and pulling him closer to me, our lips moving unanimously. “Wait,” I reluctantly pull away, biting his lip as a punishment for ruining the moment, “m’Lou, I want to take you somewhere.” I shake my head and rest my hand between our bodies, pressing firmly against his bulge. His breath hitches and he tightens his grip on my hipbones. “Unless that somewhere is the bed, or that lovely spot in front of the fireplace, then I don’t want to go.” Harry rolls his eyes and leaves a soft kiss on my neck; his provocative tone sending chills through my heated body. “How’s this- Quickie in the shower and then we save the fireplace for tonight when I can take my time on you?” I pretend to think long and hard about his proposal, but easily come to a conclusion as he sucks a bruise above my collarbone. “Deal.” _______________ “Y’know, since I brought you to this damn country, I should be the one taking you places.” I cross my arms in a huff as Harry puts on his seatbelt in the driver’s seat. “Louis, I already told you... I like doing stuff for you. Besides, it’s not like this is anything exciting. I just want to go to the beach.” I crack a smile toward the window, still trying to act like I was disappointed. Harry reaches his hand over and squeezes my thigh. “Babe, I can see your reflection.” I chuckle and cover his hand with mine; well, as much of it as I can. “Alright, I’ll stop pretending to be in a bad mood.” He grins and leans over to leave a wet kiss on my cheek. “Good, because I’m pretty sure it’s not possible to be grumpy after that shower.” He quirks his eyebrows and blushes at the same time. “You’re so cute; You’re the only person I know who can be suggestive and embarrassed at the same time.” He scoffs and tries to stop smiling. I consider pushing the subject to see just how red I can get him, but I decide that I’ve teased him enough. “The cottage is gorgeous during the day!” Harry nods in agreement, admiring the small house with ivy covering the front. He turns the car around and eventually, we find our way to the main road. Everything is so green in the daylight. There still aren’t any people out on the road, which is nice since the travel agent told me it was a pretty secluded area. “So, how far is the beach?” “Like ten minutes. I got directions from a nice woman at the bakery.” I chuckle and intertwine our fingers together on my lap. “That’s what our phones are for, babe. No one asks for directions anymore.” He sticks his tongue out and pulls our hands to his lap instead. “Well, your cheesy, old-fashioned boyfriend does. Besides, I’m trying not to use my phone this weekend. Just me and you.” I lean over and peck his cheek. “I love my cheesy, old-fashioned boyfriend.” “Good, ‘cos I’m not goin’ anywhere.” I grin and roll my window down so that the cool breeze can fill the car. I breathe in deeply and enjoy the crisp air. Harry turns on the radio and sings along to some Miley Cyrus song that I’m not familiar with (because, let’s be honest, I’m not familiar with any of her songs). I could care less, though, because as long as I’m with Harry, especially in a place that we can be ourselves and totally alone, nothing could piss me off. HARRY’S P.O.V. I pull the car off the road, parking in a patch of grass near a small cliff overlooking the water. I stepped out of the car and walked over to open Louis’ door like a proper gentleman. He just laughs at me like usual, but I really do like doing this stuff for him. “You’re absurd.” “Oi, am not.” He leans against my chest and lifts onto his toes to kiss my lips briefly. “Are too.” I don’t try to argue with him, because I know he’s right. After retrieving the blanket I put in the back seat, I reach down and grab Louis’ hand, pulling him toward the beach and locking the car as we walk. Once we start to make our way down the sandy slope, I wrap my arm around Louis, shielding him from the wind. We walk in silence down to the beach and find a flat spot on the small empty coast. I pull out the blanket that I had tucked under my arm. I shake the sheet open and Louis catches the other end, straightening it out and laying it on the ground. We both sit down quickly so that the blanket doesn’t fly away, giggling as it begins to wrap around us from one particularly strong gust. We adjust our positions, ending up cuddled together, Louis seated between my legs with his back pressed against my chest. “Are you happy, Lou?” He crooks his neck around and lays back on my shoulder so that he can look at me. “What do you mean?” I kiss his forehead and admire his face. His eyes are squinted because of the bright sun and his beard is exactly how I like it; messy and short. “Are you happy- like, in general?” He appears shocked by my question. He seems to think it’s rhetorical as well, since he doesn’t respond. “I’m serious... Are you actually happy?” “Yes, Harry! Yes, very happy!” He sounds offended. “Good, I just- I don’t know... Where do you see yourself in five years?” He sits up and turns around, straddling his legs over mine and scooting closer to me. “What’s this about, Harry? Why all the questions?” I shrug and wrap my arms around his waist. “Dunno. I guess we just haven’t talked about our future in a while. It always keeps me going and I feel like we’ve come a long way since the last time we discussed it-“ “Then tell me where you see yourself in five years.” I smirk and brush my nose against his. “I asked you first.” “And I asked you second. You’re the one who brought it up...” He’s being a bit snappy for a conversation that I’d like him to be excited about. I play with the zipper on his coat and let my eyes wander over his chest, avoiding eye contact. “Well, okay... I guess I see myself with you in a world where we don’t have to hide. I suppose that means One Direction will have to be over. It’s kinda sad to think about, but to be quite honest, it just isn’t the same as it was when we were younger. I mean, we’ll always be One Direction- me, you, and the lads- but, in five years, I kind of hope we aren’t making music and touring anymore. I want to get a place- a house- for just me and you... maybe some kids. We’d have to discuss the timeframe on kids, of course, but we can prepare ourselves for it at least. We don’t have to get married, but I’d like to. I wanna stand next to you at an altar in front of people who care about us and vow to love each other forever. It may be ‘cheesy and old-fashioned’ but we already established that I’m both of those things in the car,” I chuckle lightly and finally look into his eyes. They’re glassed over and he’s grinning faintly, “I don’t doubt that we’d be fine without a wedding and rings and sharing a last name, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want it. I mean, like, if you didn’t want that, I’d compromise and still be happier than ever. It’d just... It’d be nice to call you my husband.” Once he’s sure that I’m done talking, he brings his hands up to cup my face and presses his lips to mine, tears dripping from his eyes to my cheeks. It’s not a sensual kiss, and it isn’t really a romantic one. It probably doesn’t look nearly as great as it feels. It’s a kiss of need and a kiss full of passion. I pull him closer until he’s seated on my lap entirely and pull away from the kiss. I lean my forehead against his and we sit in silence for a minute before he speaks. “I want that too. Harry, I want all of that. Honestly, I want anything you want.” He laughs to himself and i bite my lip to keep myself from crying as well. We’ve come so far since we were younger. We always said we’d get married and have kids, but it was never an emotional conversation. It was just a matter-of-fact mention of our boyhood dreams. Now, it feels so real. “I love you, Lou,” I chuckle because it feels like I say it too often, “I love you so much.” Louis kisses me again and mumbles against my moist lips. “I love you more.” I lay back and pull Louis down with me, his legs still hooked around my thighs. His tongue slides between my lips and runs along the roof of my mouth. I lift my hips gently and earn an instant moan from Louis. I chuckle and pull our mouths apart. “It’s much too cold for sex on the beach, love.” He kisses my jaw and lays on my chest. “Fine, but now I get you twice in front of the fireplace.” I laugh and slide my hands under his jacket to warm them. “I’m great with that.” He scoots off of my body, only leaving his head on my shoulder. I run my fingers through his hair, listening to the steady rush of the ocean. “So, what are we gonna name our kids?” I smile, knowing his can’t see me. “Well, how many are we having of each gender?” He shifts next to me and tucks one of his hands in my pocket. “How about two girls and a boy?” I nod my head in agreement. “That sounds perfect. Well, we could name one of the girls Johannah after your mum.” “I’d like that, but what about your mum? It wouldn’t be fair to just give her a middle name or something.” I know my mum wouldn’t complain, but I’d hate for her to secretly feel that way. “What about Annah? Spell it with an ‘H’ like your mum’s and then it’s like a mix of both of their names.” He croons against my neck and hugs my torso tightly. “I love it.” And that’s how Louis and I spend the day picking out our children’s names, laying in the sand and fighting over the boy’s in particular. ‘William’, I’d say, ‘after you!’ He’d disagree and argue, ‘No, Edward is much better. After you.’ We finally settled on Edward William, because Louis always gets his way. By the time the sun begins to set, we’re astounded that we passed through lunch without so much as a thought. We shake out the blanket in the even colder wind and start to walk back to the car. Louis takes the keys before I can protest and I climb into the passenger seat, tossing the blanket into the back. Louis turns the car on and we drive off toward the pink-orange sky. I reach over and stroke my hand over Louis’ thigh, leaning over to whisper in his ear. “How about we get take-away and wine and eat in front of that fireplace that you’re oh-so-fond of?” And I swear, I can feel his pants tighten just from that.


	49. Chapter 49

**LOUIS’ P.O.V.**

 

“Lou, baby. Wake up.”

Harry’s soft voice pulls me out of my deep sleep. It’s not his groggy, raspy voice, though, which leads me to assume that he’s been up for a while. I roll over in the direction that I hear him and before I can open my eyes, he leans down to peck my lips, earning an automatic smile from me.

“Mornin’ Haz. Why ar’you up so early?”     

Harry chuckles and kisses my forehead.

“Love, it’s noon.”

I bury my face into his clothed chest and groan, upset for missing so much time out of our romantic weekend.

“M’sorry, you should have woken me up sooner.”

Harry squeezes me tightly before walking over to our bags. He retrieves a pair of black briefs for me and joins me under the sheets.

“Well, it was freezing in the living room when I woke up, so I started a fire and then went to this town a few minutes down the road and got some breakfast from a bakery. Are you hungry?”

“Haaaarry,” I whine as I pull on my pants, “this was supposed to be a weekend of me doing things for you; not the other way around.”

Harry scoffs and starts to pull me closer to the edge of the bed.

“What kind of boyfriend would I be if I let you wait on me hand and foot?”

I lay limp, thinking it would make it difficult for Harry to pull me out of bed. He’s been working out, though, and I seem to keep forgetting that.

“The kind of boyfriend that _I_ usually am!”

Harry swoops me up in his arms easily, my legs draping over his strong forearm.

“I love taking care of my baby.”

I smile and coo into his neck as he walks us to the kitchen. It’s warm and cozy, the fire crackling behind me. He sits down in a big chair where some food is laid out on top of paper bags at the dining table. I begin to stand up and move to another chair, but Harry holds me on his lap, spreading his legs enough for me to comfortably sit between them. 

“They had some of those soufflés that you liked in France so I got you that, as well as a few choices of muffins.”

These are the types of things I need to remind myself of whenever I begin to doubt Harry’s feelings for me. He remembers the tiniest things about me; like the soufflé I enjoyed two years ago in some tiny cafè in Paris and haven’t had since.

“Thank you; it all looks great.”

“Anything for you, boo.”

My smile reaches my eyes without any effort. Harry stretches his large arms around me and starts to break away pieces of a muffin. He brings the first bite to my mouth and I hum as I chew the moist pastry. 

“So good! Here, try some.”

I take another piece of the same muffin and wait for Harry to part his lips enough for take a bite. He shuts his eyes as he waits for the muffin, I set it down and sit up enough to kiss him, my tongue slipping between his gaping lips. He chuckles and then quickly begins to kiss back, his hands trailing down my bare sides and resting on my hips with his thumbs tucked under the elastic band of my boxers. I run my fingers lightly through his hair, pushing his beanie onto the floor and pulling him closer to me, our lips moving unanimously.

“Wait,” I reluctantly pull away, biting his lip as a punishment for ruining the moment, “m’Lou, I want to take you somewhere.”

I shake my head and rest my hand between our bodies, pressing firmly against his bulge. His breath hitches and he tightens his grip on my hipbones.

“Unless that somewhere is the bed, or that lovely spot in front of the fireplace, then I don’t want to go.”

Harry rolls his eyes and leaves a soft kiss on my neck; his provocative tone sending chills through my heated body.

“How’s this- Quickie in the shower and then we save the fireplace for tonight when I can take my time on you?”

I pretend to think long and hard about his proposal, but easily come to a conclusion as he sucks a bruise above my collarbone.

“Deal.”

 

_______________

 

 

“Y’know, since I brought you to this damn country, I should be the one taking you places.”

I cross my arms in a huff as Harry puts on his seatbelt in the driver’s seat.

“Louis, I already told you... I _like_ doing stuff for you. Besides, it’s not like this is anything exciting. I just want to go to the beach.”

I crack a smile toward the window, still trying to act like I was disappointed. Harry reaches his hand over and squeezes my thigh.

“Babe, I can see your reflection.”

I chuckle and cover his hand with mine; well, as much of it as I can.

“Alright, I’ll stop pretending to be in a bad mood.”

He grins and leans over to leave a wet kiss on my cheek.

“Good, because I’m pretty sure it’s not possible to be grumpy after that shower.”

He quirks his eyebrows and blushes at the same time.

“You’re so cute; You’re the only person I know who can be suggestive and embarrassed at the same time.”

He scoffs and tries to stop smiling. I consider pushing the subject to see just how red I can get him, but I decide that I’ve teased him enough. 

“The cottage is gorgeous during the day!”

Harry nods in agreement, admiring the small house with ivy covering the front. He turns the car around and eventually, we find our way to the main road. Everything is so green in the daylight. There still aren’t any people out on the road, which is nice since the travel agent told me it was a pretty secluded area.

“So, how far is the beach?”

“Like ten minutes. I got directions from a nice woman at the bakery.”

I chuckle and intertwine our fingers together on my lap.

“That’s what our phones are for, babe. No one asks for directions anymore.”

He sticks his tongue out and pulls our hands to his lap instead.

“Well, your cheesy, old-fashioned boyfriend does. Besides, I’m trying not to use my phone this weekend. Just me and you.”

I lean over and peck his cheek.

“I love my cheesy, old-fashioned boyfriend.”

“Good, ‘cos I’m not goin’ anywhere.”

I grin and roll my window down so that the cool breeze can fill the car. I breathe in deeply and enjoy the crisp air.

Harry turns on the radio and sings along to some Miley Cyrus song that I’m not familiar with (because, let’s be honest, I’m not familiar with any of her songs). I could care less, though, because as long as I’m with Harry, especially in a place that we can be ourselves and totally alone, nothing could piss me off.

 

**HARRY’S P.O.V.**

 

I pull the car off the road, parking in a patch of grass near a small cliff overlooking the water. I stepped out of the car and walked over to open Louis’ door like a proper gentleman. He just laughs at me like usual, but I really do like doing this stuff for him.

“You’re absurd.”

“Oi, am not.”

He leans against my chest and lifts onto his toes to kiss my lips briefly.

“Are too.”

I don’t try to argue with him, because I know he’s right. After retrieving the blanket I put in the back seat, I reach down and grab Louis’ hand, pulling him toward the beach and locking the car as we walk. Once we start to make our way down the sandy slope, I wrap my arm around Louis, shielding him from the wind. We walk in silence down to the beach and find a flat spot on the small empty coast. I pull out the blanket that I had tucked under my arm. I shake the sheet open and Louis catches the other end, straightening it out and laying it on the ground. We both sit down quickly so that the blanket doesn’t fly away, giggling as it begins to wrap around us from one particularly strong gust. We adjust our positions, ending up cuddled together, Louis seated between my legs with his back pressed against my chest.

“Are you happy, Lou?”

He crooks his neck around and lays back on my shoulder so that he can look at me.

“What do you mean?”

I kiss his forehead and admire his face. His eyes are squinted because of the bright sun and his beard is exactly how I like it; messy and short.

“Are you happy- like, in general?”

He appears shocked by my question. He seems to think it’s rhetorical as well, since he doesn’t respond.

“I’m serious... Are you _actually_ happy?”

“Yes, Harry! _Yes,_ very happy!”

He sounds offended. 

“Good, I just- I don’t know... Where do you see yourself in five years?”

He sits up and turns around, straddling his legs over mine and scooting closer to me.

“What’s this about, Harry? Why all the questions?”

I shrug and wrap my arms around his waist.

“Dunno. I guess we just haven’t talked about our future in a while. It always keeps me going and I feel like we’ve come a long way since the last time we discussed it-“

“Then tell me where _you_ see _yourself_ in five years.”

I smirk and brush my nose against his.

“I asked you first.”

“And I asked you second. You’re the one who brought it up...”

He’s being a bit snappy for a conversation that I’d like him to be excited about. I play with the zipper on his coat and let my eyes wander over his chest, avoiding eye contact.

“Well, okay... I guess I see myself with you in a world where we don’t have to hide. I suppose that means One Direction will have to be over. It’s kinda sad to think about, but to be quite honest, it just isn’t the same as it was when we were younger. I mean, we’ll always be One Direction- me, you, and the lads- but, in five years, I kind of hope we aren’t making music and touring anymore. I want to get a place- a house- for just me and you... maybe some kids. We’d have to discuss the timeframe on kids, of course, but we can prepare ourselves for it at least. We don’t _have_ to get married, but I’d like to. I wanna stand next to you at an altar in front of people who care about us and vow to love each other forever. It may be ‘cheesy and old-fashioned’ but we already established that I’m both of those things in the car,” I chuckle lightly and finally look into his eyes. They’re glassed over and he’s grinning faintly, “I don’t doubt that we’d be fine without a wedding and rings and sharing a last name, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want it. I mean, like, if you didn’t want that, I’d compromise and still be happier than ever. It’d just... It’d be nice to call you my husband.”

Once he’s sure that I’m done talking, he brings his hands up to cup my face and presses his lips to mine, tears dripping from his eyes to my cheeks. It’s not a sensual kiss, and it isn’t really a romantic one. It probably doesn’t look nearly as great as it feels. It’s a kiss of need and a kiss full of passion. I pull him closer until he’s seated on my lap entirely and pull away from the kiss. I lean my forehead against his and we sit in silence for a minute before he speaks.

“I want that too. Harry, I want all of that. Honestly, I want anything you want.”

He laughs to himself and i bite my lip to keep myself from crying as well. We’ve come so far since we were younger. We always said we’d get married and have kids, but it was never an emotional conversation. It was just a matter-of-fact mention of our boyhood dreams. Now, it feels so real.

“I love you, Lou,” I chuckle because it feels like I say it too often, “I love you so much.”

Louis kisses me again and mumbles against my moist lips.

“I love you more.”

I lay back and pull Louis down with me, his legs still hooked around my thighs. His tongue slides between my lips and runs along the roof of my mouth. I lift my hips gently and earn an instant moan from Louis. I chuckle and pull our mouths apart.

“It’s much too cold for sex on the beach, love.”

He kisses my jaw and lays on my chest.

“Fine, but now I get you twice in front of the fireplace.”

I laugh and slide my hands under his jacket to warm them.

“I’m great with that.”

He scoots off of my body, only leaving his head on my shoulder. I run my fingers through his hair, listening to the steady rush of the ocean.

“So, what are we gonna name our kids?”

I smile, knowing his can’t see me.

“Well, how many are we having of each gender?”

He shifts next to me and tucks one of his hands in my pocket.

“How about two girls and a boy?”

I nod my head in agreement.

“That sounds perfect. Well, we could name one of the girls Johannah after your mum.”

“I’d like that, but what about your mum? It wouldn’t be fair to just give her a middle name or something.”

I know my mum wouldn’t complain, but I’d hate for her to secretly feel that way.

“What about Annah? Spell it with an ‘H’ like your mum’s and then it’s like a mix of both of their names.”

He croons against my neck and hugs my torso tightly.

“I love it.”

And that’s how Louis and I spend the day picking out our children’s names, laying in the sand and fighting over the boy’s in particular. _‘William’,_ I’d say, _‘after you!’_ He’d disagree and argue, _‘No, Edward is much better. After you.’_ We finally settled on _Edward William_ , because Louis always gets his way.

By the time the sun begins to set, we’re astounded that we passed through lunch without so much as a thought. We shake out the blanket in the even colder wind and start to walk back to the car. Louis takes the keys before I can protest and I climb into the passenger seat, tossing the blanket into the back. Louis turns the car on and we drive off toward the pink-orange sky. I reach over and stroke my hand over Louis’ thigh, leaning over to whisper in his ear.

“How about we get take-away and wine and eat in front of that fireplace that you’re oh-so-fond of?”

And I swear, I can feel his pants tighten just from that.


	50. Chapter 50

**LOUIS’ P.O.V.**

 

“Want the rest, babe?”

Harry holds out the nearly-empty bottle of merlot, waving it in front of my face.

“No, s’okay. You can have it, love.”

I lean over and press a gentle kiss to his lips as he drunkenly pours the remnants of our second bottle into his own glass. He takes a long swig, emptying a quarter of the glass in one go.

“You’ll never learn that you just don’t chug wine, will you?”

I scoot closer to him and end up positioning myself conformably between his legs, my back against his chest.

“Well, boo, the way I see it,” he sets his glass down at the foot of the fireplace, which is heating the room nicely, and wraps his arms tightly around my waist, kissing the back of my neck, “the sooner I finish this, the sooner I can start with you.”

I nuzzle into him and smile, although he can’t actually see my face. It’s not a smile that I can quite control.

“Then, maybe you should hurry up on the rest.”

He tuts at me and reaches for his glass, downing the rest of the dry wine in less than thirty seconds.

“You’re very indecisive. One second it’s wrong of me to chug it and then a few moments later, I’m not drinking fast enough. Good god, Lou, I can’t-“

I spin around and shut his smart mouth up with a messy, controlling kiss. 

“Shut up.”

I mumble quickly against his lips without breaking away.

He doesn’t respond with words; rather nodding and letting soft moans transfer from his mouth to mine. The way our noises mesh together reminds me of a song. Everything about us goes well together. Harry’s definitely the melody; the attention-grabbing part that you just can’t miss. I’d consider myself the harmony, complimenting him even though I can be easy to miss. We just work together.

And that’s even more evident as Harry lies back, pulling me along with him onto the soft blanket covering the rug. The way my body fits perfectly with his completely boggles my mind. I can’t say that I’m much of a believer in God, but if a God exists, then he definitely made Harry and I for each other. Maybe it was just fate that we actually met. Maybe that’s why so many people end up in shit relationships. They weren’t lucky enough to find their soul mate. The least I can do is appreciate the fact that I did meet mine and never let him go. I’ll hold onto him until the day I die. Or as long as he’ll let me.

Harry’s arms snake around my waist and his hands splay across my lower back, slipping under my sweats, under which I’m bare. We’re both barely dressed and have been ever since we got back with our food. Harry’s only in briefs and I’m only in a pair of his sweats. He grasps a handful of my arse and kneads his fingers into my flesh. One finger presses dryly against my rim and I hiss into his mouth.

“Sorry, baby. Are you sore?”

I nod, because yeah, I don’t bottom often and I have twice in the past twenty-four hours.

“Wanna top?”

He kisses me again before I can answer, pulling his hands away from my hole.

“No,” I peck his lips again and lean up, “Too tired. We can just keep it simple tonight, yeah?”

Harry rolls us both over so that he’s hovering over my body in front of the fire.

“Of course, sweetheart. Tell me what you want.”

He kisses me again, moaning against my lips as I pull his hips into mine.

“Want your mouth, Hazza.”

He moans again, nibbling on my bottom lip and kissing my jaw.

“And where do you want it, love?”

And I’m pretty sure he’s going through the line of adorable pet names pretty quickly, but it’s endearing and so very Harry.

“Anywhere; everywhere. Just need it.”

He nods as if taking orders, gladly moving his body so that he’s positioned between my legs, spreading them enough for his broad shoulders to fit. He mouths at my clothed cock, paying special attention to the wet-spot where some pre-come has leaked though.

“Can taste you already, Lou. So good, babe.”

Another pet name. He’ll be running out soon enough.

“Don’t tease, H. Get on with it.”

He chuckles and I can feel his hot breath on me, sending shivers through my entire body.

“Yes sir.”

His fingers hook under my joggers, pulling them down swiftly and continuing to leave open-mouthed kisses up and down my length. It’s sloppy and so incredibly sexy. Harry licks a thick stripe from my balls up to tip and stares up at me seductively. My jaw drops and I whimper as he pulls away, standing up and walking to the couch to retrieve two thick, decorative pillows.

“Ass up.”

His voice is raspy and deeper than normal, just like it always is when he’s turned on. I plant my feet flat on the floor and lift my body as he places the pillows under my lower back until I’m comfortably laying with my hips propped up. Harry kneels in front of me, keeping his eyes locked with mine as he starts to slowly jerk himself off while biting at my inner thighs gently. I’m about to complain about his teasing again, until he uses his free hand to lift my legs over his shoulders. He leans over and clenches his teeth into the thick flesh on my bum, sucking a bruise in a thick area. I dig my heels into his back and he stops, using both of his hands to spread me apart, revealing my sore, desperate entrance.

“Please, please, please...”

Maybe I’m just desperate in general. He complies without another word, delving in tongue first to lick over my hole greedily. He moans against me, nibbling at the sensitive skin. He works his tongue against me until I’m slick enough for it to pass my rim. He sucks and licks, his hands leaving my arse cheeks to return to what I assume is him pumping his hand over his own cock. Then his other hand comes from around my thigh, caressing my leg and then my side and stomach, before finding my throbbing member laid thick across my abs. He wastes no more time with teasing as he grabs it, wrapping a tight fist around me and quickly moving his hand over me. It slides easily with the remnants of spit from his previous actions. He thumbs over the tip, gathering pre-come to act as another natural lubricant.

“Fuck... I’m- I’m close, darling. Already.”

He moans again and quickens the pace of his hand, as well as his mouth. He pulls his tongue out, but his face is still buried in my ass, licking and biting and kissing until I’m coming hard all over my stomach and his fist. My body convulses from the intensity and Harry slows his hand, pulling away from my hole. He sits up and carefully places my legs on the floor at his sides before sitting up on his knees. His face is flushed and his lips are wet and bright pink. He continues to pump his own cock and within minutes, he’s adding to the pool of come on my chest and stomach with a loud moan before collapsing at my side. He rolls onto his side and repeatedly kisses my face; cheek, forehead, nose, lips.

“Love you. Love you. Love you.”

I’m out of breath but mumble something of a reply to him, trying to regain my mindset. After we lay there for about twenty minutes, holding each other close, Harry stands up and leans over to lift me off of the ground. I wrap my arms around his neck and lay on his shoulder as he walks us toward the bedroom.

“Shower and then sleep, yeah?”

“Yeah. Sounds perfect.”

 

______________

 

Our shower is fairly quick after exhausting ourselves throughout the day and drinking. As soon as we lay down, Harry is practically asleep, but my mind continues to wander.

“Harry?”

He hums sleepily, pulling me closer.

“I was thinking earlier. We’re like a song, ya know? You’re the melody; the catchy tune that everyone’s so enthralled by. And I’m your harmony. We go together well.”

Harry seems to disagree with my observation, scoffing and kissing my forehead.

“No, Louis. You’re the whole damn song and I’m just the luckiest guy alive who gets to listen to that song every day. You’re my everything.”

Normally, I would argue with him that, no, he was more important, but right now, hearing those words makes me feel on top of the world and maybe I’m too selfish to give that up. So, instead of retorting, I press my body closer to his and sloppily kiss his lips.

“I love you so much, boo. I can never say it enough.”

He mumbles against my lips and wraps his arms around my waist tightly.

“Well, I think the day I don’t hear it, I may keel over.”

Because, honestly, I think I would.

“I’ll die before I go a day without saying I love you. You could piss me off so bad that I’m seeing stars and I’ll still tell you I love you before bed; even if it’s through gritted teeth.”

I chuckle because I’ve seen him do that before and it’ll definitely happen again.

“And, Lou, if I die before you, which I hope happens because the thought of losing you makes me nauseous, I’ll leave you daily reminders of how much I love you; all romantic-like,” he softly brushes his thumb along my shoulder, “I’ll leave enough to last another lifetime because I’ll be expecting you to live until you’re like a hundred and twenty-“

I clasp my hand over Harry’s mouth to make him stop talking about a hypothetical time where I’d have to live without him.

“I don’t wanna think about that. Just shut up and kiss me.”

And he does. We kiss lazily until I start to drift off and lay on his chest instead. Harry’s large hand caresses my back as I fall asleep, breathing in Harry’s scent and feeling more content than I ever thought possible. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG ONLY ONE MORE CHAPTER :,(  
> There will be a sequel though :P


	51. Chapter 51

**songs for this chapter:**

**(I know I’ve never done this, but if it’s something you guys like, please comment and let me know and I’ll make it a regular thing with the sequel!)**

 

**Beautiful Day - Marie & the redCat**

**Without You - Lana Del Rey**

**Home - Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros**

 

**HARRY’S P.O.V.**

 

I’m honestly worried about Louis. He always seems to be questioning my feelings for him and I can’t imagine why on earth he would do that. I know I’m fucked things up in the recent past, but we’ve been stronger than ever in the past few months. If I could say anything positive about the shit I put Louis through, it would be that it’s made us a little more serious. I suppose I can only speak for myself, but I think we have both grown up in the past year.

So, why is he always trying to get me to confirm my love for him as if he’s insecure? Not that I mind.

“Harry, are you ready? We can’t miss the ferry, love.”

I nod to myself in the mirror as I put away our last minute items: toothbrushes, toothpaste, hair wax, and a comb.

“Yeah, I’m coming.”

This little getaway was more than perfect, but it was definitely short lived. I want to pause time and stay here in this quaint cabin with my perfect boyfriend, and only un-pause life when we miss the lads or our family. Or singing. I know I’d miss performing. But, if I had to, would I give it up for Louis? In a heartbeat.

“Babe! We won’t be able to grab food on the way if you don’t-“

I round the corner of the doorway and toss the small bag of items onto the bed near the suitcase.

“I’m ready.”

I grin kindly and walk over to kiss Louis gently on the forehead.

“Since when are you the one in a rush to get going? I’m usually dragging your ass around from one place to the next.”

He flushes and scurries over to the bed, placing the last few things into the suitcase before zipping it.

“I just don’t want miss the ferry so we aren’t late for dinner with the boys.”

Dinner with the boys? That’s news to me, but it’s possible that he told me and I just wasn’t paying attention.

“I’m not sure I like this new punctual, organized Louis.”

I wrap my arms around his waist and press my hips against his bum so he can feel the semi I haven’t been able to shake all morning. I suppose that’s what happens when you wake up next to a greek god who won’t let you touch him in the shower because he’s suddenly on a schedule. 

“Get used to it, Hazza. I’m a new man.”

He tries to wiggle away, but I hold him there and ruffle my nose in his long, wispy hair.

“You’re keeping something from me, more like. C’mon, Lou. Why can’t we stay a little longer? It’s so beautiful here, and I haven’t had nearly enough alone time with you in this big, comfy, secluded bed.”

He chuckles and I loosen my grip so that he can turn to face me.

“Harry, our bed is secluded too.”

“Not like this. There’s no one for miles.”

I trail soft kisses down his neck and feel him shiver under my touch, but he quickly pulls away and finishes zipping the suitcase.

“Sorry, Harry. We can come back soon; I promise.”

I huff and start lifting the other bags onto my shoulders.

“Okay, okay. Obviously there’s something you’re hiding, but I’ll stop prying.”

I walk out of the bedroom and hear Louis sigh. I smirk to myself, sort of excited at the prospect of whatever surprise he’s trying so hard to keep.

We both skim over the rest of the cabin, checking that we have everything before locking up and loading our things in the car.

“I’ll drive, boo.”

Louis stops in his tracks as he’s about to sleepily open the driver’s door.

“You sure, babe? I don’t mind...”

I close the trunk and circle the car to meet him in the middle.

“No, I want to drive. It’s pretty early and I know you’re tired. You’re getting to be an old man now, you know. You’ll be 22 next mon-“

“Shut up, Hazza. I know how old I am.”

He’s about to continue scolding me for calling him old, but I lean over to kiss him chastely.

“Like I just said, I _want_ to drive. The trip is over, Lou. I can start taking care of _you_ again. Though this was all really great, I miss the satisfaction of making you happy.”

He chuckles and hugs my waist tightly, his forehead resting on my shoulder.

“You always make me happy.”

There’s a moment of comfortable silence, during which I softly caress his back and kiss the top of his head. Then, he squeezes a bit harder before pulling away completely.

“But, I will let you drive because I’m tired... From so much love-making and late nights, not because I’m old.”

I chuckle and catch the keys as he tosses them while walking away, circling to the other side of the car. Once we’re both inside, I glance at Louis to make sure he buckles and as if he’s reading my thoughts, he rolls his eyes and fastens his seatbelt.

“Y’know, getting older doesn’t have to be a bad thing. I mean you’ve kinda got nice dad hair and a bit of dad scruff. I could start calling you _daddy_ if you’d like.”

I tease him as I start the ignition. Louis scoffs and runs a hand through his growing messy hair.

“I can’t have you doing that, Harry. You’ll ruin the name for our kids.”

I try not to visibly swoon, but it’s pretty difficult whenever he talks about us having a family.

“You’re right. I can’t be giggling and blushing every time little Edward calls you daddy, now can I?”

He grins cheekily and rests one hand on my thigh as I pull onto the vacant narrow road.

“No, you can’t be doing that, babe. So, I’ll be daddy, then? What are the kiddies gonna call you?”

I smile widely, because our future kids are my new favorite subject and I’ve put some thought into this.

“Well, the way I see it daddies are the fun, goofy ones. You don’t see anyone calling their stern old father, _daddy._ I think I’ll definitely be the more stern one of us two.”

He laughs a bit too loud and grabs my thigh gently.

“Oh come on, Harry. You don’t have one stern bone in your perfect body.”

I raise an eyebrow in his direction and quickly return my focus to the road.

“Perfect, huh?”

I can see Louis rolling his eyes out of the corner of mine and I remove one hand from the steering wheel to collect his in it.

“ _Anyway_ , I’m not opposed to daddy, but what’ll you be, then? Definitely not _father_ or just plain old _dad._ No, you need something special.”

I grin to myself and run my thumb over his hand softly.

“I was thinking papa, yeah?”

He gasps and nods his head frantically.

“I love it! It suits you, too. I guess our kids are just gonna be stuck with two fun, goofy dads. We’ll have to aim for some structure, though.”

“Eh, they have their uncles Liam and Zayn for that.”

We both laugh and I easily picture Liam being overprotective and Zayn always worrying about them getting hurt.

“They’ll be alright between all of us.”

I nod in agreement and pull into a tight parking spot next to the bakery I went to yesterday.

“Yeah, and we’ll be kick-ass dads.”

I lean over and peck Louis’ cheek before turning off the ignition.

“I’ll just go in, Lou. People probably shouldn’t see us tog-“

I’m interrupted by my phone ringing loudly. I look down and mouth _mum_ as I answer. Louis motions to the store and starts to get out while I try to focus on my mum’s enthusiastic greeting loud in my ear.

“Harry, love! I miss you so much. How are you, dear?”

“I’ll get you something, babe.”

Louis whispers and I nod, remembering that my mum is probably growing impatient.

“Hey, mum. Sorry that I’ve been MIA for a few days. Lou surprised me and we’ve been in Ireland.”

“I know, hon. You think he didn’t tell me first?”

I scoff and wonder what else they’ve been conspiring together.

“I should’ve known. I don’t know how much I like you guys talking behind my back.”

She laughs and changes the subject quickly.

“So, tell me about the trip. He showed me pictures of the cabin, but I wanna know everything.”

“I’m sure you don’t want to know much of anything actually.”

She coughs and chokes, but finally catches her breath and chuckles awkwardly.

“Yeah, I suppose you might be right. Well, I just wanted to check in. I miss you, sweetheart.”

“Miss you too, mum. We’ll come visit soon. Love to you and Robin.”

“Love to you and Louis too. See you.”

I smile and end the call just as Louis returns with our breakfast. He breathes deeply when he’s settled in his seat and hands me a cup of coffee, setting his tea in the cup holder.

“Pretty sure someone snapped a photo of me in there. I tried to get out fairly quick.”

I turn the car on and curse under my breath as we pull away. Hopefully, we don’t already ruin everything that’s gotten better recently. That isn’t exactly something we can worry about right now.

“Well, nothing we can do now. Let’s go home, Lou.”

He’s silent for a while, staring out the window at the crashing waves on the coast.

“Yeah, let’s go _home._ ”

 

_________________

 

The ferry was uneventful. Louis booked an express boat back home. Supposedly, the other was meant to take longer as a more enjoyable trip. We still had a cabin in the ferry, but it only consisted of a couch and table. We cuddled on the couch and Louis fell asleep on my shoulder for about an hour. 

He insisted on driving the way home. I fought him on it, but his new argument was that he got a nap in and that I didn’t. I was a bit tired, so I slept half of the way home. When I wake up, it’s well past lunch time.

“Lou, I’m hungry.”

“Yeah, I was about to stop for drive-thru. That okay?”

Supposedly, he’s still in a rush. I’ll be disappointed if it really is just for dinner with the guys. I’m surprised he hasn’t given anything away yet.

“Yeah, that’s fine.”

After getting McDonald’s, I convinced Louis to let me drive the rest of the way. We made it home in an hour and a half, leaving a few hours until dinner time.

“We should shower and get ready. Wear something nice, Haz. No headscarves.”

He’s dropped some of our bags on the floor just inside the door and I scoff at his lack of appreciation for my style.

“Why no headscarves? I like them.”

I can’t say that I was actually planning on wearing one, but I feel the need to act more offended than I am. I’m sure I can get something out of it.

“Because Harry, we’re going somewhere nice and they don’t really scream semi-formal attire.”

I pout and walk to our room with the remaining bags. I place the suitcase on the bed and unzip it, retrieving the left-over clean clothes to put back in the drawers. Louis flops back onto the mattress and watches me unpack our things.

“You can go have a shower while I unpack, Lou.”

He shakes his head and pulls one of our pillows to his chest.

“I want to have a shower with you.”

I try to hide the smile forming on my lips, turning to toss our dirty laundry into the basket by the dresser.

“I saw that grin, Harry. C’mon, I’ll get the water running.”

He hops off the bed and jogs to the bathroom. A few seconds later I hear the water running and his soft humming. I peel off my layers of clothing and throw them in the hamper before joining him in the bathroom, wearing absolutely nothing.

His silhouette is flawless through the fogged glass of the shower. I slide the door open and walk into the steaming hot shower to find him running his hands through his hair as water runs over his head. I step forward while his eyes are still shut and cup his hips with my hands, pressing my body close to his.

“You know I’m going to wear a headscarf now, right?”

My lips ghost over his and he closes the distance by lifting onto the balls of his feet. We kiss slowly and passionately, the water rushing over both of our bodies. Louis slowly pushes me back until I’m against the wall firmly. The moment my skin touches the cold tile, Louis begins to sink to his knees, his palm easily working over my hardening cock.

“I was counting on it, my stubborn boy.”

I begin to speak, but the moment his lips wrap around me, I lose all thought process and rest my head against the wall, shutting my eyes tightly as moans escape my mouth uncontrollably.

 

________________

 

 

**LOUIS’ P.O.V.**

 

I adjust my blue tie, having a silent pep-talk with myself in the mirror. Today has had me on edge non-stop. Harry knows that I’m up to something, but it doesn’t really matter, because it’s less than an hour until it’s all going to happen anyway. I switch places with Harry and while he puts on the floral headscarf that actually accents his suit nicely, I sneak into the closet. I retrieve the small box from one of my shoes and place it in my pocket.

“Lou!”

I smile and walk back into the bathroom to find Harry still hard at work, adjusting the material on his long wavy hair.

“You called?”

His eyes meet mine in the mirror and he grins. That grin reminds me of when we first met. Harry was sixteen and I was so in love, so very fast. I’m sure it was this exact grin that was so irresistible.

“Does it look okay like this?”

I walk over and stand behind him, wrapping my arms around his waist and kissing the back of his shoulder.

“Looks perfect. Too bad I’m gonna make you put it on as a blindfold in the car.”

Now he actually does seem a bit surprised.

“Seriously? I’d much rather you do that in bed.”

I smack his bum and begin to walk back into our room to put on my shoes so that we can leave.

“That can be arranged too, but we need to leave now.”

He follows me and sits on the edge of the bed while I make sure I have everything.

“Do I get any clues?”

I shake my head and extend my hand to him. He gathers my hand in his and stands up. We walk together to the front door and I find the keys to his car.

“I’m driving. Get in the passenger seat and cover your eyes, love.”

 

______________

 

“Are we there yet?”

Harry has asked me that same question about twelve times and it isn’t helping my nerves.

“Almost; just be patient.”

He wiggles in his seat and crosses his arms. His foot is tapping excitedly.

“I just want like a clue. You’ve given me nothing.”

I smile and reach my hand over to stop the leg that won’t stop shaking.

“We’re about to pull in, okay? There’s no point in ruining the surprise now.”

He huffs and leans against the back of the seat.

“Alright, fine.”

He whistles along with some song on the radio and I pull into the driveway, finding myself shaking now. The gate closes behind me and I look for a good spot to park. The courtyard is empty, but over the fence I can see a large amount of cars along the side street. 

I can’t do this. Not if front of everyone. I should have just done it on that damned beach when it was just us. I’m beginning to freak out a little bit at the prospect of kneeling down in front of everyone who is close to us, which just so happens to be a lot of fucking people. I pull out my phone when my foot is on the brake, texting Eleanor that we’re here.

“Harry-“

I put the car in park and his head shoots up.

“What? Are we there?”

He looks like a lost puppy, his head darting around to get a clue as to where he is.

“Yeah, yeah we are. Can you just- Be still for a moment and let me talk.”

He turns toward me and puts his hands out in front of him for me to take. I place mine in his and before I say anything, I lean forward and surprise him with a soft, slow kiss. He moans sarcastically, but squeezes my hands. I can tell that he’s still impatient; I’m just anything but. I pull away and keep our hands together.

“Harry, I- I have this whole... thing, planned out and I’m starting to- I don’t know... Doubt myself.”

“Well, I’m sorry to break it to you, but you can’t blindfold me for twenty minutes and then not give me my surprise.”

I chuckle and trace random lines over his hands with my thumbs.

“I know; you’ll get the surprise. Just- um- I’m afraid I’ll embarrass myself and you’re the only person who can ever calm me down- like before shows and stuff.”

He smiles knowingly and leans forward to leave a kiss on my forehead.

“Can we ditch the blindfold? I promise not to look where we are.”

I bite my lip, but decide quickly that I trust him. I release my hands from his and lift the black and pink scarf from over his eyes. When he opens them, they meet mine instantly, not looking anywhere else even for a moment. Harry places his large hands on my cheeks and presses his forehead to mine.

“I don’t know what you’re about to do, Louis, but there’s no way in hell you’ll embarrass yourself. No matter what it is, I’m going to be proud of you. So, always remember that even if someone has something rude to say, I’m always proud. I’m always shining because you’re beside me. If anything, I’ll be the one to embarrass us, but I know you’re always there and that’s all that matters to me. That’s what pushes me to be myself, Lou.”

I feel tears stinging the corners of my eyes and that was everything I need to push me to follow through. He holds my gaze as a few tears fall down my cheeks, but his hands divert them and he brushes them away.

“I love you, Harry.”

He connects our lips briefly and sniffles.

“I love you, Louis.”

I pull my head away and reach up to fix the scarf on his hair. I know Lou will want to fix it when she sees it, but it’s better than it was.

“Alright, just close your eyes for right now and let me come open the door, okay?”

Harry nods and closes his eyes tight, resting his hands on his thighs. I exit the car after taking one more long look at him. I walk around the car, checking my pocket for the ring and feeling the tiny box against my leg. When I open Harry’s door, I grab his hand and guide him out onto the pavers.

“Alright. Well, it’s quiet. So, I guess we’re not at a restaurant.”

I chuckle and stand next to him, intertwining our fingers together.

“Alright, Harry,” I watch his face intently, “Open your eyes and take a look at our new _home_.”

Harry gasps before he even opens his eyes, but when he does, his expression is something I’ll never be able to forget for as long as I live.

“Oh my god. Lou, it’s beautiful.”

His other hand clasps his mouth and I see his eyes beginning to water. He can’t look away from the house and I can’t look away from him. This moment; it just seems- perfect. 

Fuck the plans. Fuck everything. Right here and right now is exactly what I want. I reach into my pocket without much thought and pull out the box, keeping his hand in mine as I kneel down on one knee facing him.

“Harry.”

I seem to have gotten his attention, but when he looks at me, he begins to cry, a huge smile on his face.

“Louis,” he barely gets out.

“You’re everything to me, babe. When I’m with you, it feels like nothing else matters. When I’m without you, though, it’s like my heart is breaking in half. I don’t want to feel that way ever again and I never want to let you go. This house is a place that I’d like to spend a very long time with you. I want to bring you here after our wedding. I want our children to come here when they’re born. I want to create memories here, just like we seem to do no matter where we are. Obviously, this all depends on what you want, but I think you’ll really like the house and, dear god, I’m babbling on and on.”

Harry chuckles and sniffs, wiping away tears with his free hand.

 “To get to the point; Harry, will you marry me?”

Before I can do anything; open the ring box, even release my hand from his, he yells out, “Yes, yes, yes. A million times- yes!”

“I didn’t even show you the ring, twat!”

He laughs and pulls me onto my feet, wrapping his arms around me in a suffocating hug.

“I’d say yes if it were a piece of string, you fool.”

I bury my face in his neck and hug back for a few seconds, savoring every aspect of this moment.

Harry pulls away and kisses my forehead, still overly excited.

“I would like to wear it, though.”

I laugh to myself and open the box in my hand. Harry tries to grab it, but I swat his hand away and pull the ring out. I show him the jewels and specifically, the engraving.

“I got this one because the stones are-“

“-like our eyes, yeah? It’s so beautiful, Lou. It’s absolutely perfect. Just like you. And the inside, I just- I love it so much.”

He cries some more and we hug and kiss for a few minutes in front of our new house.

“Hey, let’s go inside. There’s a lot to see.”

Harry kisses me once more and I lead him up the steps to the front door. It’s unlocked, of course, since everyone is already there, but Harry doesn’t catch on while consumed with bliss. When the door opens, I drag him down the front hall toward the drawing room in complete darkness.

“Lou, I want to see everything, though. Are you just taking me straight to bed, or-“

I fight back laughter at his last words before I turn the lights on in the large room.

“SURPRISE!”

Nearly a hundred people fill the room, glasses of champagne in their hands and dressed to the nines. Harry stands wide-eyed, taking it all in before leaning over to me and whispering, “I’m a bloody idiot.”

We both chuckle and I can tell that a few people in the front heard his remark, but it’s just the lads and our families. They’ve heard worse.

They’re all staring at us, waiting for me to make my move that I’ve really already made.

“Oh, um, I kinda already proposed and he said yes.”

Harry lifts his hand up and the room fills with laughter and squeals. Our mums rush forward first, crying and littering us both with kisses and hugging us a bit too tight. Then Zayn, Liam, Niall, Perrie, and Eleanor do the same, with a few less kisses and much less crying. Our siblings, all girls of course, won’t stop talking and we have to physically pull ourselves away.

We talked to so many people who mean so much to us. I even invited Nick. He’s not with his boyfriend anymore and maybe I enjoyed rubbing it all in his face a little bit. 

Cara was there. She brought a new girlfriend, which surprised me a bit, but Harry seemed to already know. I tried not to show the relief I had that she was taken too.

Even Des came with his wife. He was a little standoffish, as per usual, but he warmed up quickly and even associated with Anne and Robin.

In all, that night was the most perfect night of my life thus far. I only knew one more night that would probably surpass it, and with a ring on Harry’s finger, I was positive of it happening in the near future. Nothing could have made me happier.

Harry’s last words to me that night, while he was riding me in our brand new bed were that he loved me and that he was proud of me. I fell asleep to the sound of his soft snores, keeping his body so close to mine, even though the bed could fit ten more people. 

We stuck close together, just like we always will.

 

**FIN**

 

**(until the sequel) COMING SOON**


	52. SEQUEL

Okay!!!! I started the sequel!!!! I really hope you all like it! Please comment <3 

 

[Through Open Doors](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1671893)


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